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They just don't get it. I'm beginning to wonder if maybe a lot of the doctors are addicted to it too. It's either that, or they just don't know how addictive this stuff is.
Linnie Sue, you mentioned that feeling of it relieving the tightness. The first time I ever took it, I had just come home from the hospital. I had had a myleogram - that's a test they do if you are having severe back problems. They do a spinal tap and inject a dye into your spine then they do a bunch of x-rays to see if you have a ruptured disc or something else wrong. With me, when they did the spinal tap, they messed up and put the needle in wrong. I lost a lot of spinal fluid. After tehy were done, I had to stay in the hospital and keep my head down for 24 hours to avoid getting a spinal headache.
I did as I was told, and after 24 hours I went home. After a couple of hours I got a spinal headache - the worst pain ever. I called the doc, and he prescribed 30 Fiorinal #3 (with codeine). I took two caps and in about 20 minutes I could feel this warmth creeping up my back into my neck and then my head. The pain and the tightness went away. It was like magic!
Needless to say, after that it seemed like every headache I got was just like the spinal headache so I kept getting more pills. I swear that I got hooked when I took those first two pills. It has been 20 or so years, and for most of it I have beentaking regular Fioricet (no codeine). I was up to about 18 pills a day, every day.
Now I am going to a great neurologist/addiction specialist. I am being weened off the stuff by one pill every two weeks and I'm down to 7 pills a day, soon to be six. I take Neurontin, 800 mg 3 times a day, and it really helps with the withdrawal and with the headaches. I also have Amerge for when I get a "breakthrough" migraine. I will be off the Fioricet in a couple of months.
This stufis nasty! It works so well at first, but then it gets you hooked because it causes rebound headaches so you take more pills and get more headaches. It's like the apple that Eve gave to Adam.
I'm going to beat this, and I wish good health, good luck, and success to everyone. WE CAN DO IT!
jr
I wanted to check in and say hello to everyone. I hope you all had a nice Christmas. Mine was quiet we were supposed to travel to my sister's in Western Mass. but, due to the weather, decided to stay home.
In some ways I am glad because my sister takes fioricet, along with many other prescription meds. I think I would have had a tough time knowing that they were right around me. She takes them quite frequently and doesn't think they are dangerous. I have tried to tell her but have decided to keep my mouth shut. She will probably have to find out the hard way about this stuff.
I still am having cravings on and off during the day, with the worst being first thing in the morning. I just came back from seeing the doc and she has increased the neurontin. I do find it helpful with the anxiety and with the cravings.
Hello to Linnie, Connie and the newcomers and also not2far. I haven't seen any posts from you lately, but do hope you are still out there.
Connie, I hope you are getting a much deserved rest after the crunch of the holidays with your shops.
I want to wish everyone a happy and safe New Year. We can all beat this thing!!!
Take Care
Golden Slipper
It was the apple Eve gave to Adam.
Either way it was a great example.
GS
I thought I had one up on everyone...I could just breeze through life picking and choosing what I wanted to face. Well' let me tell you what it did for me. I was never really happy beacause I was always numb and never really grew as a person. You need to feel to grow. I am probably twenty years old in mentality right now.
All I can say to you Kat is if you keep taking these horrible mind altering pills you might come addicted like all of us...10 plus a day. Detoxing is worse than anything on earth. Have you ever read the side effects on fioricet???
I have cut down to eight a day,but I wil go to a neurologist in Feb when I get back from vacation. That's when the real work will start.
Everyone is different, but meetings and maybe a counselor...twelve step meetings(so we can look at ourselves)can help us stay off of these pills.
What is going to make it different this time around????
"If nothing changes....nothing changes"
Hope everyone has a safe New Year,
Linnie
Anyway, I just wanted to say I understand how hard it is when you have access to the pills. It sounds like you do and if you have pain (physical or emotional) you will take them. That is how it was for me. I took them when I felt happy, sad, anxious, worried, you name it I took them all the time.
I have found the neurontin to be helpful with the anxiety which I always suffer when I stop the fioricet. It is controversial - I read an article recently in "The Boston Globe" that said it is being over prescribed for many different reasons. At this point if it is helping I will continue it. It is non-addictive and alot of the other anti anxiety drugs are not. I would not want to trade one addiction for another. Like you fiorinal has been the only pill I ever cared about. I took darvocet for a surgery I had a few years back and it did nothing for me. (Except helped with the pain of course). Fiorinal for some reason holds me captive. I also have TMJ and that pain in the neck that you refer to. It sounds like we have alot in common.
Please think about looking for a doctor to help you through this. As long as you have access it will be very hard to stay away from the stuff. This addiction is way too powerful!!
LinnieSue - Good to hear from you and you sound very determined to deal with this addiction. Your appt. will be here before you know it.
I hope both of you have a peaceful Sunday and nice New Year.
Also, hello to JR, Connie and anyone else who might be lurking out there.
Golden Slipper
Now I'm on a program with my Neurologist, and I have gone from 18 or more F's a day, but down to now 7 a day, and next week to 6. I was totally honest with this doc, and she said she would help me if I followed her program. She also said that she would never leave me hanging, so if I had a "mother of a headache" I would beep her, she would call, and would give me the okay to take extra F's. The fact that I had to call or beep her first made me think, and eliminated all but one "overuse".
She has me on Neurontin. Yes, it's for seizures, but they have found that it also works on preventing headaches and in releiving pain in general - even severe pain. My doc started me on a low dose of Neurontin, then gradually increased it. I have had really nasty side effect with Elavil, Prozac, Paxil and all the anti-depressents, as well as Valium, Xanax and that kind of (addicitive) stuff. But NO PROBLEM with Neurontin. I think it's because the doc started me on a real low dose of it, then increased it every week or so. Now I'm taking 800mg three times a day, and I feel fine. It releives the jitters and the withdrawal pangs, it helps me sleep, plus it does help with the headaches. I feel calm and relaxed, but not sleepy or doped up at all. You might want to try it and see if it helps. Yes, there are a lot of side effects listed, but compared to a placebo, it is pretty much the same.
Hat, and everyone, good luck with your continued recovery. Yes, we all slip sometimes, but don't let that get you down. Each day is a new day - start over again and don't look back. WE CAN DO IT!!!!!
Best,
jr
Golden Slipper: Have read so many of your posts in the past couple of months - what is the neutrotin helpful for? If I'm not mistaken, this is one of the meds my cousin takes for her fibro. Hope you continue to do well. Good luck with the cravings; you sound like a strong person- but you know, those cravings can really cut us off at the knees sometimes.
LinnieSue: Good luck with your tapering. Your comment about being "numb" and not growing is really the reality I'm now facing. You have to "feel" life, pain and all, to really grow and mature into a responsible person. As hippee said (sic)- we all just have to make the decision to finally grow up sometime! At 42 years of age - I'm finally discovering that very thing!
Hope you all have a good weekend. Keep posting! Love, Lisabet
Haven't had a chance to post in a few days as work has been very busy. I do check this forum every day though and read through the various postings.
Lisabet - I have read many of your posts and like Kat said it's the fiorinal that gives me the "kick in the pants". For you it's the vicoden. I have never taken Vicoden although I have taken other opiates after surgeries and although they are great for pain relief that's about it. I have been addicted to fiorinal for over 20 years and all it took was for one doctor to prescribe it. I remember the first time I took it and within 1/2 hour my headache was gone and I felt great! At the time I thought I felt great because the headache was gone. I really did believe that too. As time went on I realized the pills were giving me that little jolt. The years went by and I started going to more than 1 doctor just to get fiorinal. At one time I had 8 doctors prescribing it and none of them knew about each other. I do go to 2 AA meetings a week and find them very comforting. I realize it's not for everybody but it has helped me. Please take care Lisabet and I will keep following your story. Remember even though we like different pills we suffer from the same nightmare "Addiction" Please post to us again.
Kat - Sorry to hear about your dilemma with the Imitrex. I also take it for my migraines. It works very well for me and I believe it is a miracle drug because it is non-addictive. My neurologist is very good and when I see him he gives me alot of samples. Between that and the prescription I usually have enough to get by. He also gives me samples of Zomig and a few other drugs that are very similar to Imitrex. I suffer from migraines and I also have constant pain in the back of my neck. I had an MRI and catscan done which showed nothing. It's hard to be in pain all the time because that is when I think about the fiorinal. It used to help my neck pain somewhat.
Anyway I need to go and get some housework done. I hope everyone else is doing ok please post and check in with us. If your not doing ok all the more reason to reach out and send us a post.
Take Care
Golden Slipper
My sister takes it for nerve pain in her leg. She broke her leg 2 years ago and has serious nerve damage. She has found it to be very helpful. My neighbor takes it for fibromialga (sorry I think I mispelled that).
It is totally non-addictive and it has helped me with the anxiety. I feel calm but not dopey like you would feel if you took a tranquilizer.
Hope that answers your question.
Have a great weekend!!!
Kat, welcome aboard. It sounds like you have a lot in common with me and others on this forum. You hit the nail on the head - Fioricet/Fiorinal does a GREAT job of releiving those migraine/tension headaches and the associated stiffness. But, it truly is "the devil". The more you take, the more you need. I think you body actually learns to have different headaches that require Fioricet. The trick is to unlearn that.
Trust me, I know the fear of not having anymore or of running out. I know the act of taking some because you know you're getting a wicked bad migraine and you want to stop it in its track. It's like being on a merry go round that's not so merry.
We can break this cycle. Let's all stay in touch on this board. Talk about what works and what doesn't, and how you're all doing. Together we can make it.
Happy New Year to all - let's make it a better one!
jr
I take about 6-10 per day that I order from the Internet. What are everyone else's withdrawl symptoms? Janice
It is explained in the postings on this thread if you go through and read them FiorinalJR one of the posters give a very good explanation regarding the constant headaches.
There is a slight chance of seizures with withdrawal due to the barbituate component of this drug so you should not stop cold turkey. I am seeing an addictionologist who is helping me through it with a drug called "neurontin" which helps with the anxiety and insomnia. It also is supposed to help with cravings although for me personally it hasn't helped too much in that area. I still think about the damn pills all day long and sometimes even dream about them at night.
I have been off them since before Thanksgiving and am still having some bad headaches although they are no longer daily events. I suffer from migraines and use imitrex when I have a bad one.
Why don't you post back to us and give us some more info. such as how long you have been taking the drug and what got you started.
There is alot of support here
Again, welcome and keep posting
Golden Slipper
It's really hard to remember when I began taking Fioricet...maybe about 5 years ago. But I used to be able to just use Advil for my headaches when I ran out. It was no big deal. Now for some reason they don't even help my headaches anymore and I seem to have other things going on other than the symptoms you mentioned. I have things like thirst, sore gums, and general achiness (sp?)....Oh yes I have insomnia but I always thought that was good old menopause.
I take 2 pills when I go to bed and 2 when I get up and then I snooze for another hour. During the day I take one when I begin to ache. At one point I thought I had fibro....and now that I'm done with "the pause" I can rule it out. Most recently I really believed these were sinus issues. That's why I'm now beginning to think that Fioricet is the problem rather than the solution.
Anyone have any wisdom? I'm always willing to share and help...
I'm sooooooo glad I found you all.....I don't even mind giving my name...... Take Care Gang: Janice
I just read your second post and it sure sounds like you may be hooked on the fioricet. Your story sounds so much like mine.
The fioricet after a while actually causes the pain which makes you take more and more of them. Advil, Tylenol nothing works anymore only the damn fioricet.
You may want to think about looking for an addictionologist (a doc who specializes in addiction) to help you taper slowly off of this stuff. I, like Kat49, have been told that at lower doses seizures are very unlikely. You still need to be careful though when coming off of this junk.
I don't know where you are from I am from the Boston area and know that there are several addictionologists are here. There is a website called ASAM (American Society of Addiction Medicine) which could help you to search for one in your hour.
In the meantime keep posting to us. There is alot of support here.
You are not alone
Golden Slipper
I meant to say "You can search for one in your area" not "in your hour"
Sorry I am at work and am trying to type fast.
I'm sure you get the jist of what I am saying.
I have debated for two days about posting a comment here. I am addicted to Fioricet--again. I read a comment about the fact we are always addicts, it's just whether or not we are on the wagon or off of it.
I am 33, married with 2 kids, Senior Financial Analyst, part owner of a small business, soccer coach for my son's team, on the drama team at church...you get the idea..a very busy person.
I started taking them 12 years ago for migraines. I did go the route of finding several different doctors to prescribe it, using all kinds of different pharmacies, paying for most of it myself because I knew the insurance would catch on.
Finally, one of the doctors was going to be out for a while and he gave me 10 refills (30 each). I used up 4 of them in a month. The pharmacy called the doctor, and the doctor's office somehow managed to track my prescriptions across most of the town and called those doctors. Many of the pharmacies had me labeled as a prescription addict in their computers. When my kids got sick, it was awful hard to fill a prescription at the pharmacy because I just knew they knew about the addiction and I was so embarassed.
The doctor's office did not get all the doctors though, so I confided in a friend and used the remaining doctors to tapper down, gave my pills to a friend to hold so I would take them all at once, etc etc. I also admitted to my husband that I had been seeing so many doctors to get it. I did not however confide in him on how I was tapering down. By 1999 I was down to 1 doctor, 30 pills at a time. I would take them 1/2 at a time to make them last 16 days or so. I would take some calming herbs from the health food store make it til day 21, then refill again. I was still addicted, but at least I was not as drugged up all the time. It was ideal, but it was better than nothing, I could not imagine living without them, so this was my compromise.
Well, the job got more stressful and more stressful, a lot of personal things went wrong, and here I am again, starting from scratch. I went to an internet source to get the pills (in addition to my 1 doctor) and I have plowed thru 260 pills in 2 months. That is only 4 a day, but I know where this is leading.
Rather than ordering more pills on line yesterday, I looked up Fioricet addition and found this.
So, here I am. I know 4 a day may not seem huge, compared to what some of you have done, but, I am only 105 pounds, so...it really hits me.
I am posting from work and I will only be able to check this from work. I know my husband says I have been a bit spacey lately, but I don't think he suspects anything yet, and I am not ready to tell him anything yet either.
Wow, confessing to strangers instead of my own husband. That doesn't sound good.
I don't what it is about this drug but when it takes hold it doesn't let go!!. I never knew there were so many people hooked on it. I have been dealing with this addiction for 15 years now.
Imagine all the people who haven't posted here or who are lurking but afraid to post.
It's incredible!! Please keep posting to us. Like yourself I have had many relapses (too many to count) we have to get up and try again one day at a time. Together we can all beat this insanity!
Again welcome to our forum
Golden Slipper
Thanks so much for your postings back.
I realized my first post I left out a word, but oh well, hopefully you got the idea. In essence, even when I was down to 30 pills in 16 days, it was NOT ideal (not being the word I left out)
Anyway, are either of you taking any now? I know it looked like Golden is actually off it and dealing with the wd. Kat, it looks like you are taking them again, right? If you are, might I ask how many a day?
I have tried locking mine in my desk at work so I cannot get to them over the weekend or at night. But, out of fear, I always care 3 or 4 in my purse.
Like Kat, nobody has any idea of what is going on. My best friend that I confided in last time has since moved. She and I correspond by email, but it is not the same as handing her the bottle and saying, here monitor these.
My kids have no idea, but I know my older son (12) has seen me taking "advil" several times (I keep the ones in my purse in a travel tylenol bottle). So I am now making sure I don't take anything in front of him except vitamins. I don't want him to think always taking a pill (regardless of what it is) is ok.
I am typically a very strong, outgoing person (control freak as my husband likes to call me). So, to not have control over this is driving me crazy. I am considering tapering down to 3 a day next week, but if I have them available I will take them. After a while I lose count. Does anyone have any idea how you keep 3 available per day, so you can't go over? Isn't there some kind of time release medicine machine out there? With a key lock and I can just throw away the key?
It is wonderful to know someone else out there has this problem. I don't even know of anyone else that takes fioricet. Heck I don't know of anyone that is addicted to anything, except coffee and cigarettes.
I couldn't even imagine getting my poor husband involved by having him hold them or the key because I know I would drive him crazy asking for the pills.
I have been off the pills since November 22nd. This time I fessed up to my main neurologist. (The one who has been treating me for almost 20 years) he was not surprised and said fioricet is highly addictive. He put me on a taper so I went down by about 1 pill a week. (I was taking between 6-8 per day) with 8 being more the norm. (He wrote on the bottle "tapering off of fioricet" so it made it very difficult for me to cheat and take more.
I then made an appt. with an addictionologist who took over my case and prescribed "neurontin" for my WD symptoms. I have found it to be very helpful however I still get some serious cravings that come and go during the day.
It is very difficult to break this habit but it can be done if you really want your freedom. I was just thinking a little while ago how spacey I felt at work when I was taking my 8 pills.
I remember telling someone what I had for lunch and telling them I had a salad with a side of "franch" meaning french dressing. I remember the person laughed at me and I had no idea why. When she told me I didn't even realize I had pronounced the word incorrectly.
I remember another instance where I was talking and meant to say the date was November 5, 2002 and said November 5, 1972 everyone laughed and again I didn't realize I said it. That was when I started to get really scared and I think that propelled me to finally fess up and get clean from this stuff. There were a few instances where I remember being on the phone at work and talking as though I was drunk. I know I sounded strange to the person I was talking to. It was beginning to affect my work. I could write a book with all the examples of my spacey behaviour while taking fioricet.
It only gets worse if we stay on this road. Please give thought to getting off this drug.
Have a great weekend and please stay in touch.
Golden Slipper
Isn't it amazing how many people post here? And when you consider how many others don't post or don't even know about this site, it's scary. There are a LOT of people addicted to Fioricet/Fiorinal/Esgic. And there are a lot of docs prescribing it - they just don't know or don't care about how addictive this stuff is.
I have been taking Fiorinal/Fioricet and Fiorinal #3 (with Codeine) for about 25 years. I a male, 49, and have a great job, am active in the community, have been married for almost 30 years, and have two kids, ages 23 and 25. I put them both thru college and they now have great jobs.
Up until several months ago, I was taking about 6 Fiorinal #3's plus about 12 to 14 Fioricets every day. That's right - almost 20 pills a day, every day. No one, not my wife, my kids, my boss or co-workers had any idea that I was taking so much. I was able to do my job, spend time with my family, everything. But, I was tired, couldn't sleep, and spent way too much time figuring out how to get more pills. I was seeing multiple docs, multiple pharmacies, etc. And the headaches just kept getting worse.
Finally last September I found a great neaurologist - who specializes in headaches and in pain kiler abuse (80% of her patients over use Fioricet). I told her everything. She agreed to work with me on tapering off, provided I only saw her. I agreed, and she put me on Neurontin which really helps with the withdrawal, the headaches, and no nasty side effects. Because of the large amount of pills I was taking, she started tapering me down by one pill per day every 3 weeks. I stopped the codeine immediately with no problem.
Now, I am at 6 pills per day, and each time I step down, it gets harder, but I feel 300% better than before. I get rebound headaches all day everyday, but they are stil not as bad as what I was getting before.
Within a few months,I will be totally off this stuff - I can't wait. I wish I had never taken the first one!
Pilot,you can get of this stuff. We all can. Find a good doc and be totally honest. And, tell your family - they will support you, no matter what you may think.
Keep posting here. We will help you and support you! Best of luck, and remember - you can do it - and we're here if you need help.
Best, JR
Hope you don't feel too sick, and again, best of luck. YOU CAN DO IT! Let us know how you make out, no matter what happens!
JR
I hope you are doing ok this morning. I give you so much credit for doing what you are doing. It is very difficult, I know because I have been there many times.
This last time I did do a taper, although I have gone CT off the fiorinal in the past. It's whatever works for the person and the main objective is to get clean.
Please let me know how you are today!!!!!!
Golden
I hope you are doing ok this morning. I give you so much credit for doing what you are doing. It is very difficult, I know because I have been there many times.
This last time I did do a taper, although I have gone CT off the fiorinal in the past. It's whatever works for the person and the main objective is to get clean.
Please let me know how you are today!!!!!!
Golden
Kat, sounds like you are doing wonderful. Keep it up. Let me know if, 3 days later, you are still cold turkey and surviving.
GS, yes I need to get off. I too have problems with mixing up my words, not sounding too clear (doesn't happen very often, but it has been known too). I know why I take them, and it is not just the headaches. It is the physchological aspects too. I am definately a type A personality as they call it. Sometimes things just seem to be going too crazy. One pill and I calm down and all seems better.
All that being said, I try to remember things and I can't. I fill my water bottle, but don't remember doing it. Try to remember where I set the cordless phone, but can't. And I am only 33, so it is not old age :-)
FiorinalJR, You have come a very long ways!! My hat is off to you. I am very glad that I am not consuming as many as you were. I would really be a mess. But, 4 a day is bad enough. My husband may be understanding, but...no can do, not now.
So, I am going to do this on my own, with the support of you guys, my own strong will and a old friend. I will email her tonight so she can keep me accountable.
I know I need to quit. I know I feel great for the week or so at a time that I was totally off them (aside from the headaches), providing I am running 3-5 miles a day to keep off the stress. But, the phsychological step of getting there is the challenge.
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.
You guys are a great group. Let's keep chatting. Hope you all have (or had) a great evening.
I used to take 2 in the morning and that was it. After a while it crept up to 3 then 4 to 6 and finally 8 pills per day. I really got scared when I started to approach the double digits.
Keep us posted and I will be praying for you and everyone else here.
Golden Slipper
Kat, sounds like you are doing great - congrats and keep up the good work! I hope you can stick with your plan and fell okay most of the time.
GS and Connie, how are you doing? GS - still going to Lahey?
Wishing everyong the best, and keep posting. Every word helps!
jr
I have decided to work on the taper theory. I know that may be tough, but, so am I. I was at 4 a day. Starting Monday I went down to 3. So far so good. I have only taken 1 1/2 today (but it is only 1:30). I am hanging on to that last 1 until I just can't stand it. Yesterday that was about 6:30 that I took my 3rd one.
Since I am on such a low dose, I am planning to drop down to 2 per day on Friday. I hope I can keep busy enough this weekend to not think about it. Plus, I will lock the rest in my desk drawer at work.
JR, good to hear from you. Keep on tapering....you can do it!
Pilot, good for you, too - but don't try to go too fast! I've done that before and failed, then kicked myself. If you can go down and stay down by one a week, you're off it in a only a month! And, your chances are much better at staying off. You can do it! Keep up the great work.
Good hearing from you all, and Connie - if you're reading this, please post - it's been a long time!
Love and good luck to all, jr
I am still struggling with head pain. I have a real problem with pain in the back of my neck. It is chronic and I have it almost all the time. I have been taking excedrin and I also use a hot therapy pack that I heat up in the microwave. The heat seems to really help.
I don't know if this pain is a headache or if it is neck pain. I am seeing my neurologist next Wednesday. The last time I saw him he suggested I take Soma a muscle relaxer. I don't want to take that because I found out it can be addicting.
If anybody has any suggestions I'm open to them all. I am even thinking about acupuncture. I have had x-rays, MRIs everything and it has turned up nothing.
It's possible that this is part of the rebound cycle because I know that when I was taking the fioricet it used to help the neck pain.
Somedays I just feel like I will have head pain for the rest of my life.
Anyway, I just wanted to check in and let everyone know I am thinking about you.
Take Care
GS
I am still struggling with head pain. I have a real problem with pain in the back of my neck. It is chronic and I have it almost all the time. I have been taking excedrin and I also use a hot therapy pack that I heat up in the microwave. The heat seems to really help.
I don't know if this pain is a headache or if it is neck pain. I am seeing my neurologist next Wednesday. The last time I saw him he suggested I take Soma a muscle relaxer. I don't want to take that because I found out it can be addicting.
If anybody has any suggestions I'm open to them all. I am even thinking about acupuncture. I have had x-rays, MRIs everything and it has turned up nothing.
It's possible that this is part of the rebound cycle because I know that when I was taking the fioricet it used to help the neck pain.
Somedays I just feel like I will have head pain for the rest of my life.
Anyway, I just wanted to check in and let everyone know I am thinking about you.
Take Care
GS
I am still struggling with head pain. I have a real problem with pain in the back of my neck. It is chronic and I have it almost all the time. I have been taking excedrin and I also use a hot therapy pack that I heat up in the microwave. The heat seems to really help.
I don't know if this pain is a headache or if it is neck pain. I am seeing my neurologist next Wednesday. The last time I saw him he suggested I take Soma a muscle relaxer. I don't want to take that because I found out it can be addicting.
If anybody has any suggestions I'm open to them all. I am even thinking about acupuncture. I have had x-rays, MRIs everything and it has turned up nothing.
It's possible that this is part of the rebound cycle because I know that when I was taking the fioricet it used to help the neck pain.
Somedays I just feel like I will have head pain for the rest of my life.
Anyway, I just wanted to check in and let everyone know I am thinking about you.
Take Care
GS
Guess I wanted to get my point across
Take Care
Work was horrible yesterday so I did not get to post. I have managed to stay down at 3 so far for 3 days now. I was planning to drop to 2 today, but after reading the posts, I am thinking I will take your advice and go for dropping one a week.
Yes, it is a mind thing. I know that all too well. I will give myself a headache just worrying about running out. Yes, I always seem to grab just one to put in my pocket when I am out without my purse, just in case. I take a few extra home on the weekends, just in case. Oh...that has to stop.
Kat, sounds like you are still doing good. I understand about the email. My kids get on my home computer and can see my email also. I did, however, get an email address at go.com to register for this web site. I did not want my family even finding my registration.
GS, I can tell you what I was doing for a while when I was off the stuff. It sounds corny, but it works. I was taking 800mg ibuprofen and 1-2 benadryl. I am pretty small so I would just take 1 benadryl, you can take up to 2 though. I would get horrible headaches that went all the way down my neck and into my shoulder. They benadryl relaxes your muscles some and the ibuprofen helps with the pain. I know you can't take the ibuprofen for too long, it messes up your stomach, but...at least benadryl is not addicting.
I will not be posting over the weekend, but I will check in on Tues. Hope you all have a great weekend.
The neck pain could be from withdrawing - the butalbital in Fioricet is a barbiturate muscle relaxer, and as we all know, works great fro neck pain/head pain. By stopping or cutting down, the muscles in your neck are rebelling! I believe your doc has you on Neurontin. You might want to talk to him about increasing the dose. I am now taking four 800 mg Neurontin's a day, and it has really helped with the rebounds, the headaches, the pain, and the anxiety. But, no side effects at all for me.. Hope it works for you.
Everybody - it sounds like we're all making progress! Give yourself a little reward this weekend - go out to eat, or to a show or a movie or whatever you enjoy. I would love to go to the beach, but in Boston right now (Saturday a.m.) it's only about zero degrees farenheit! Guess I'll have to find something else to do.
A good weekend to all, and kep up the great work!
That seems to have passed although I do still experience cravings mainly in the morning and they seem to pass during the day. I have an appt. with my neurologist this afternoon and will get the results of the recent MRI on my neck. I have a funny feeling though that the pain could be caused by the rebound. I always have a hard time going to doctors after I come clean from the pills. This doctor is safe because he knows of my addiction and he was the one that initially started me on my taper off the fioricet before I started seeing the addiction doctor who took over from there.
The doctor I'm seeing today is the main neurologist who prescribes my imitrex and manages my migraines. It still will feel funny going into a doctor's office. I am a bit nervous about it even though I know it is safe.
You are doing great KAT just remember every day away from the pills is another day in recovery. You are building up your time and taking your life back.
I think I remember LinnieSue saying she was going on vacation this week so that may be why we haven't heard from her lately.
I haven't heard from Connie and hope she is ok. I know she is very busy with her business so that could be why.
Take Care Kat and I will talk to you soon
GS
Looks like everyone is surviving.
We had a long weekend at work, so I could not post Monday. Tues my older son was really sick, so spent the day running back and forth between work and home caring for him.
Anyway, I am doing ok. I did not quite manage to stay at 3 per day. I could not stand the pain any more on Friday so, when I left the office I had only taken 2 1/2. I went ahead and just took a full pill instead of 1/2, so ended Friday at 3 1/2 pills. But...that is still below 4 so I am not disappointed! Sunday, same thing, 3 1/2 instead of my goal of 3.
Other than those 2 days, I have stuck to 3 a day. Pretty good.
My deal is, I am cutting them in 1/2 so when I do take them, I am just not taking as much. That is definately changing my tolerance for these things. When I do take a whole one, I notice that I start to slur my speach and confuse my words. And that is so embarrassing, and frustrating! Especially now that I am very contious of it. Wild!! Maybe this 1/2 instead of whole pill idea is going to help my tapering. It isn't fun to be impaired when you are trying to deal with a bunch of executives!
Since I do keep getting some awesome headaches/neckaches, I am going to wait until Frid to drop to 2.
The headaches may be from cutting back, but I would not think dropping from 4 to 3 would cause such a problem. So, it is probably just all the stress. Since I have not been able to go running as often, maybe it is building up.
Anyway, Friday is 2. The rest of this week my goal is to keep it at 3.
GS, let us know if they find out that you have any problems besides the withdrawals.
Kat, keep it up!!! I am sure you can do it. I am so proud of you and so impressed!
JR, what are you at now? 5 or 6?
The cravings that everyone seems to get is something that I have noticed. If I don't take a pill when my brain thinks I'm supposed to, I get this weird feeling. I tried something that works. If I get a craving that just won't go away, I take aspirin or Tylenol or Advil - I always carry a few with me. By taking one of these, it's like I am fooling my brain - it knows I took a pill, and it's happy. Very strange, but it works!
Pilot, sounds like you're doing real well, but maybe you are trying to go too fast. If you're having trouble tapering, how about on Friday you go from 3 to 3-1/2. Then next Friday go to 3, then a week later to 2-1/2? You might find there is less withdrawal, and a better chance of success. My doc told me that the worse thing you can do when tapering is to try and go too fast - you have a much better chance of succeeding if you take it slow. That's why I'm still at 6. Two months ago I was at 20 a day. My doc has me tapering down by one tab every three weeks. It makes it much easier on the body and the brain.
Golden Slipper - sounds like you are doing great! Don't feel weird about going to your neurologist. I know the feeling, but by coming clean to them and putting control of your tapering in their hands, you have a much better chance at getting off this stuff forever. And, they will help you with the pain. I know you can do it!
Kat, sounds like you're doing well also. Keep up the good work! And if you have a bad day and relapse to a higher number of pills, don't worry - just go back on your plan the next day. We're only human, and we will have slips while we're getting off this damned Fioricet. It's the devil's pill!
Everyone, keep to your plans and keep on posting. No matter what you have to say, it helps everyone here, and it's always good to hear from you! Connie, I too hope all is well with you, please post when you can.
All the best to everyone!
JR
Sorry 'bout that. JR
Yes I DO remember the panic of "needing" to take some Fioricet and having nothing to drink on hand. I HAVE stopped on the turnpike and used the hot water from the sink, cupped in my hands, to wash the pills down. I have even tried to swallow them dry (yuk). It's amazing the dumb things you do when have these pills controlling your life. Thankfully, no more of that.
It would be fun if we could all get together and talk about the dumb things we have all done because of Fioricet. Maybe we can do it here!
Kat, and everyone, have a great weekend. Live it to the fullest!
jr
Give us a post and let us know the details of your story.
There are many of us here.
Golden Slipper
JR: I had to take your advice, go down by 1/2 not a whole. I could not quite do 2. So, I am at 2 1/2 and doing pretty good. I have slipped up a few times. But Frid, Sat and Sun was a great, 2 1/2 only.
Everyone:
You know, I always wondered why in the world I never seem to stay off these things. But, I am learning a lot as I talk with this group, do some reading, and evaluate my own behavior, perspectives, etc. Maybe if I actually learn as I taper, maybe I will have new habits by the end of all this and stay off them this time!! Did you know that only 1/3 of prescription drug addicts managed to get off and stay off the medication on the 1st try? Pretty amazing.
I too taken them dry, cupped my hands under the bathroom sink, etc, etc. I have even used day old coca cola. YUCKKK I think that is worse than dry!
Kat, thanks for the bear hug earlier. Yep, I needed it. My husband obviously can see I am get stressed off and on (little does he know I am just not medicating it away with fioricet). I have woken up with headaches or been a bit testy in the evenings. So, guess what? I got a dozen roses this weekend! That was wonderful.
Everyone, keep up the good work. And keep the humor coming. It really does help, I think. At least it helps me. It is nice to hear other crazy things people have done...makes ya smile when you know you are not the only one!!
Have a great evening all!
I find since I stopped using the fioricet I am much more uncomfortable around people. I am not considered to be a shy person but lately I just feel like a shrinking violet. I have this fear that people will no longer like me. I even have some days when I just don't feel like talking to people.
When I was on the fioricet I was quite bubbly, animated and chatted alot with people. Lately I have little or no interest in doing that. I feel as though I am struggling to be social.
I owe an acquaintance of mine a phone call, she called me a few weeks ago and she is a nice person but the type that will stay on the phone for hours and go on and on about herself mainly. It never used to bother me but I keep procrastinating on returning this women's phone call. I just don't want to hear her go on about herself.
Am I becoming selfish?? Or did the damn pills really change my personality? I was just wondering if anybody else has experienced this. The only way to describe it is a little lift that helps you to be nice to everyone and I don't have that little lift anymore. I have to say I miss the little lift but maybe this is the real me. The other bubblehead was someone else.
I find it all kind of scary
Hope everyone has a peaceful evening
Golden Slipper
Wow - it's unreal to hear that everyone else has the same reaction!
Bluewing, welcome to the "club". Please stay with us, and when you're ready, don't be afraid to tell us your story - some or all of us will relate to parts of it, and we'll let you know that you are not alone.
Pilot, as Kat said (or was it GS?) - don't worry if you slip - it happens. What counts is that the next day you get back on your plan. You will make it.
To all, if you ever feel down, it's natural. Anytime you quit something that you have been addicted to - whether it's cigarettes, alcohol, Fiorinal/cet, or even food - your brain is unhappy because it's not getting that craving satisfied anymore. This will pass in time. Also, psychically, YOU miss it too. It's like you have lost your "best friend" and you are in a sense grieving over it. It will pass, too. Try finding something else to do - especially now that you are thinking more clearly and you probably have more time and money!
Another approach (I was in detox ten years ago for Fiorinal/cet - it didn't work, but they did have some good ideas)....think of Fiorinal/cet as your "ex-best friend". Write a "Dear John" letter addressed to the drug. Be honest. Tell it why you cannot "see" it anymore. Things like how it robs you of your true feelings, makes you tired, costs you time and money, makes you forgetful, etc. All the while masking itself as your "friend". Put everything in that letter. Then tuck it away, and anytime you feel down - or tempted to take another pill - read the letter. It will help. I wrote one about two months ago, and read it almost every day - and it DOES really help. I might sound corny, but trust me, it works. Let me know if it works for any of you.
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS TROUBLE SLEEPING: My neurologist gave me some great advice. If you can't fall asleep, or wake up often, take two Benedryl's half hour before bedtime. You can get 100 generics for about $3.00. Benedryl is an antihistamine, but a side effect is that it makes you sleepy. The nice thing is that it's not addictive, it works, and it doesn't give you that "hangover" effect in the morning. Plus, if you have small children and might have to wake up in the middle of the night, no problem. This was the best advice I ever got from a doc!
So, we all have a lot more in common than probably any of us thought! I know that for me, by sharing my story and reading the snippets from everyone else, it helps. I get a laugh out of a lot of things. Really, I'm laughing at myself. I can't believe I let this drug take over my life for almost 25 years. But, it doesn't matter how smart you are. This stuff doesn't care. In fact, the smarter you are, the more likely you will become super addicted. I got real good at figuring out ways to get more pills, hiding them, lying about my abuse, and all that. I was just too damned smart for my own good! Now, I'm putting my smarts to use outsmarting this damned stuff, and it's working.
GS, Kat, Pilot, Bluewing - and everyone.....great to hear from you all. Keep fighting this addiction. We can all make it, especially together, so let's stay in touch.
Happy Humpday - it will be the weekend before we know it!
jr
I have been sitting at my desk reading the last few posts and almost laughing. Oh my..did you guys come take over my brain and pretend to be me?
I have sooo often taken one 20 min before a big meeting. I feel like I can talk till I am blue in the face when I am on those dumb pills. But...when I am not...I am more self contious and I even screen some of my calls because I don't want to talk.
Now, I am a pretty outgoing person. I always have been, but by golly, they do seem to make it "easier" to be outgoing. That's the way it feels to me.
And shopping...oh let's talk about shopping while you are on Fioricet...and when you are off. I really hate to spend money. I would like to save it for something worth wild. But, boy can I spend money when I take a pill on the way to the mall. Heck, I have taken them just going to the grocery store. With 2 boys (one in his teens) my grocery bill is HORRIBLE. But, one little pill, and well, that grocery bill looks pretty good. Dog gone those dumb things. Think of all the money we could have saved over the years if we were shopping on drugs!!Ha ha ha.
Seriously, another idea that was given to me a long time ago is journalling. Writing down in a book what you are feeling or things you want to say but can't. It helps get it out of your system, so you have at least acknowledged what you are feeling.
Well, I am off to the gym. With my little taper program here...I only have 1/2 left to take after 3. So, I can choose to take it early and be without the rest of the night...or I can choose to go running and see if I still want it later. I have found that if I can just go run for a while, I don't mind only having 1/2 left to take. And normally won't take it until 6 or 7.
Anyway, everyone have a great evening. Stay strong. As the commercial says...Just say No!
*Run out before refill is due (my ONLY refrain) & tearing thru all your pockets, purses, the cat's arse...you name it. There has to be ONE SOMEWHERE! Sadly, there never is.
*Backing away from a kiss because you're still waiting for that damn fiorinal to dissolve. When it does, moment is killed because you shivered due to bitter taste.
*Trying to hang your mouth under a faucet in a public restroom without your lips touching so you can try & swallow it upside down?
*Ever tossed one in your mouth only to have it fall into the sink drain? Yes? Yeah, well did you, a woman who wouldn't know a ratchet from a hatchet, take the pipe apart & grab the pill as water leaked hither & yon?
*Oh Mr/Ms. Pharmacist or Doc! a) I need my refill early because I'm going out of town b) I lost my fiorinal(never the others or you'd have to pay for them) on my trip c) I've gone through them faster because I have (take your pick) PMS, my period, finished my period, don't have a period, (watch it boys!) neck is sore from necking, I stopped/started drinking coffee, I'm so stressed, work is so slow I'm worried I won't get any more assignments, etc. Hmmmm....
*Mastered the suave & smooth swagger (pardon my alliteration tonight!) to the pharmacist for the refill. REAL casual now, uh huh. :-)WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE OUT?????oh, well, I'm leaving town even though I don't travel anymore....uh, yeah, that's it.
*While with a group of people, dry swallowing a few you've "inadvertently" slipped from pocket to mouth (like you need to scratch a molar!)when you have cotton mouth from the damn fiorcet?
*Ever planned events/work/activities around your supply? As in, a) OK to go for a date on Thurs. as I'll have an ample supply to be VERY fun, flirtatious, so muchso that I won't care if he's boorish with mashed beats for brains? Can't go Tues. because I'll be waiting....not for you bud, for my true love, fiorinal. b) Do your writing M,T,W; editing Thur, crash into the lowlands until refill time.
Tell me I'm not the only one!
I've been following this post for a few wks. & feel like I know you all. I keep reading my own story over & over. I've an epic of my own I think ;-) & I expect I'll have to break it down into chapters. But JR, YOUR REIGN IS OVER! :-) I'm another one of the 5'4" 105 lb.'ers who 2 yrs. ago was taking 17 Fiorinal Plain a day. I'm down to 28 a wk. now, going much as you have, albeit he cuts me 5-7 every 10 wks. Having read & found myself so inspired by your success, I'm going to ask him to do the 1 every 2-3 wks. from now on. The big cut takes my bod about a mo. or so to adjust to.
*Note: I've noticed this list is resplendent with extremely petite women over 40 (I'm 42) & mewonders: Are we all going to turn into heffers when we get off this?
QUESTION DU JOUR: If we have a convention, what would we call it? (I'm a former...still sorta conference planner so look out I just may plan one!)
Alas, the saga shall continue.....2:40am & it's back to work.
Dancing in the Dark (name of my autbiography)
I'll do anything - including staying up all night - to avoid submitting an article. What will I do when I don't have fiorinal to aid in this endeavor? Don't say "sleep", because that might destroy my reputation as an eccentric, and deeply disturb the cat.
Come to think of it, I often stay up all night sans the fiorinal so there goes that excuse. (Still trying though!) KAT! You must be a twig! My enocrinologist (toasted thyroid) tells me the *minimum* I should weigh for all systems to be "go" is 118. Needless to say he's given up on me. If that's for 5'4", how tall are you? Can't believe F made you nauseous. At 15-20 p. day I did get terrible stomach pains but they went away when I started reducing. Never get nauseous from it. We are all so chemically different, n'est-ce pas? And I thought we were soul sisters!
Is anyone else here a binger piller? :-) I've always said I'm an all or nothing gal & I've long known this was true with the F as well. How I haven't OD'd is beyond me but I take/go, take/go, take/go and then nada, wherein I have a huge crash, no doubt in large part to a lack of sleep & racing around like a crazed maniac. I hope I'm not the only one....Even now with 28 a wk. (down from 120!) they might last 3 days & then I'm without. I really want to quit because I've MANY x gone close to a wk. without any & no seizures. This bingeing must be making my body go up & down like a toilet seat at a mixed party!
I'm enormously relieved to know I'm not the only one who feels just a tad ;-) ebulliant when under the influence. My usual volume is about a 9 & with fiorinal, I blow fuses until I quite literally short myself out, so to speak. As posted earlier, I've oft wondered how I'd cope without the fiorinal. Whilst on the 24 hr. shift, I had a some ideas about this & would love to hear other theories, thoughts, et al.
In reading much about fiorinal et co., Mayo & its ilk say this drug CAN cause excitability & its effects mimic drunkenness. *Some*, many whom I suspect are card carrying members of this august assemblage. Yes, F et co. causes disinhibition, volubility, etc. like alcohol. Somewhere it was described as chemically identical as far as the bod was concerned. JR & Kat mentioned using it to give them confidence before a presentation. Anyone ever heard of bottled courage? *Is* it that much different? I've *many* times pulled off masterful biz negotiations, presentations & a few corpses on the floor with my words. Great in business when it's appropriate but...of course it gets out of hand.
{Side-Bar:} Also of note from same sources is that for MOST people, F makes them very drowsy. I can tell you it has NEVER made me feel drowsy. Relaxed, like I could conquer the world, more outgoing...not drowsy! I'm willing to bet most people here get the excitability response & not the drowsiness. ?????
If, for the moment, you'll go along with the alcohol/butalbital "connection", it would stand to reason that on the bright side of the moon - neither alcohol or fiorinal can give any one of us anything that ain't already in there, perhaps buried or resting. Hell, I was getting myself in trouble as a kid with my big mouth! I've always been outgoing & was a successful bizwoman & writer years BEFORE I had 1 fiorinal.
Why don't we assume that outgoing blast of je ne sais MOI we so covet is part of who we are & has perhaps been lying dormant due to reliance on a false substitute? Perhaps we've become lazy & instead of reaching within for that super-sonic personality we've instead reached for the fiorinal.
Another Thought: I was also taking codeine by scrip & buying it OTC (Cda) & quit that CT 11-12 days ago. Had the runs, sweats, chills, nausea, etc. for about 3 days, now rebound headaches like you can't imagine. Yesterday, I was almost dancing up to the pharmacy (to get my FIORINAL! ;-) yet it was one of the rainiest, darkest days I can remember this yr. which ordinarily depresses me. I'd already noticed my mood has been markedly elevated since about Day 5 & codeine is of course a depressant, as is bultalbital. But codeine is OUT of your system in 48 hrs. & the worst withdrawal is 5 days tho headaches etc. can go on for mos. However, as JR explained earlier, fiorinal takes 6-8 wks. ? to get out of our system. Therefore: It would stand to reason that our bultabital baked brains might take some time to recalibrate. I've got some pep in my step because opiates make their exit (thankfully) much faster so quasi-stoned (as compared to completely whopped) moi can return. I suspect mood elevation after F is going to take much longer. I will say that with each dosage decrease it takes a good mo. to feel "normal" on reduced dose, so.....Time, the great healer.
My but I'm waxing philosophical today. Time for coffee & to finish my piece!
And later for the rest of my sordid past!
Stay strong all, have courage & hang in there!
Dancing in the Dark. You are a riot. I read your first post and oh my... I was laughing.
Here is a good one...has anyone every had their car stolen...then told the pharmacist it was in the car..show (but don't let him read it closely) him the police report (which only has car, cds, etc listed...no meds) and say the Fioricet was stolen with the car?? That was the best on I've had yet.
Or, you are out of town...but you left it at home, shame on you....or at least that is what you tell the pharmacist to get a new one transferred or called in to the out of town pharmacy.
Dancing in the dark. I used to do the binge/crash routine and ohhh that is HARD. At one point I was taking about 100 per week. That was probably 5 or 6 years ago. Then, after a drastically reduced spell (say 5-10 per week) I went to a binge and crash routine. I would find that I was NASTY those first 3 days, then I would find ways to work off the mood (like jogging 3-6 miles in a day). But, low and behold, I would still go back for that refill.
I am now on the approach of tapering down. I was at 4 per day (aka 28/week). I am now at 2 1/2 per day. I find tapering works for me, but not for everyone. I know it is phsychological, but I just can't quite fathom not taking anything. So, now I am cutting them in 1/2 and taking 1/2 at a time. What will be funny is when I am down to 1 per day. Will I be cutting it in 1/4 just to make sure I can still have something later in the day?? Who knows. We will cross that bridge in a few weeks.
Kat...Glad you actually took some of the stuff back...I didn't. Thus...the credit card bills (ouch!!)
One more "have you ever" questions. Has anyone ever filled their empty prescription bottle with water and drank it just to try and get the last little bit of powder out since you couldn't find any stuffed in any pockets, drawers, etc?
However, I have talked to people who quite smoking and they say green tea seems to help their appetite cravings. You can get it at a health food store (in pill or tea form). I seems to perk up the metabolism and help with those hunger pains.
Just an idea if you don;t want to gain too much weight while you are adjusting. The last time I got close to quiting (5-10 per week) I put on 10 pounds. I don't plan on doing that this time. I will be going for that green tea!
Nonetheless:
(A visceral cacophony reported thousands of miles away). I've become accustomed to women hating me because I don't gain as I get older & I'd certainly miss that to be certain!
Best,
Joods
P.S. Pilot, loved your last missive. I was howling & will reply later. Just finished 1 pc. & while I'm on a fiorinal roll ;-) I'm getting to the next one!
P.P.S. I remembered this one as I was reading yours can't believe I forgot it. (We try!)
I was running a conference in some exotic port of call & while standing in the meeting room discussing "weighty" issues with my chairmen, I expertly snuck a pill into my mouth knowing I'd be even more brilliant ;-) on like pill #37 ;-) Swallowed the capsule & it went down sideways, transmogrified into something of Biblical proportions & wedged right between these uh, bumps on my chest. I was horribly uncomfortable & thought I might choke so I made some lame coughing noise & rapped my chest HARD. An odd sensation followed & I suddenly felt rather liberated, shall we say. As the cause of my newfound "freedom" dawned on me, I noticed my treasurer & the v.p. of standards furtively not looking me straight in the eyes but a tad further down. Yip. The front door flew open!
I appreciated your insight & comments re: the binge/yearn ;-) syndrome. Thank goodness I'm not the only one!
You mentioned you would be horrible for the 1st 3 days & then jog (or whatever) it off the next 3 & then get your refill.
My question is: Were you horrible AFTER you'd run out or while bingeing?
I'm being very good this wk. for some strange reason but when bingeing, I get very energetic, accomplish heaps, sleep next to none & love the world. 1st day w/out is great. Then I go down down down & feel positively listless & depressed. However, I wonder how much is psychological. In that I'm expecting it. I recall times I've HAD to get up & go & once I was up & so forth, I was fine.
Take care, hang tough & congrats on your progress & courage.
Joods
Dancing in the dark - Welcome to the forum I've enjoyed reading your posts. I have done all those crazy things that have been mentioned. The one about the early refill due to an upcoming trip really got me. I used to pull that one all the time. I was quite the world traveller!!!
Hope everyone has a good night and LinnieSue are you out there? Back from your vacation yet?? Please post to us.
Golden Slipper
Well, this tapering thing has made me an absolute lightweight!! Used to, I would have to take 2 pills within 2 hours before I noticed slurring, dry mouth, etc.
Well, I had a heck of a headache since last night. I ate something I should not have. Shame on me. Anyway, I took 1/2 last night and went to bed. This morning, still a killer headache so took 1/2 right when I got up. It helped but of course, started wearing off after about 2 hours. So I took another 1/2. Then 45 min later took 1/2 more. Sum total, 1 1/2 pills in 4 hours (only 1/2 more than my tapering schedule). Dag nab if I didn't just slur a few words on my last teleconference. I was so aware of it and oh, how stupid that sounds!!!!
I have not blown my daily limit. I still have 1 pill to get me thru the rest of the day. After this little incident, I think I will stick to 1/2 at a time, and wait a full 3 hours before the next 1/2! I may end up blowing it by 1/2 a pill, but hey, compared to taking 6 or more a day, 1/2 a pill I can handle.
I am sure you guys are thinking 2 1/2-3 pills a day...that is not much of a big deal. It is small compared to what some of you are or were taking. But, wimpy though it may be, it is a bear to get off these last few!!
1/2 a pill at a time, right JR.
Nothing like a little awareness of how stupid you sound to make you stick to your program.
Hope you guys are having a great day. I am going to get a soda and try to sober up a bit.
Dancing and Kat, I am pretty close to the twig description. I am 5'3" but only about 104
Well, Kat, I DON'T THINK ;-) I get cranky after the fiorinal is gone but I live alone! As long as the cat has food & can sit on me at his leisure, he's happy! Obviously, as a writer, I spend a *lot* of time alone & I'm not someone who gets lonely really, yet I truly enjoy people's company - in small quantities & not too often. Lord, I sound like a misanthrope but I'm NOT! I'm more of an introvert & when I do go out or when I was a conference planner, I never shut up & always have a lot of fun talking to everyone. After serious socializing, I am emotionally fried if that makes any sense.
Back to after binge (hmmm title of a movie?) In thinking about this, I don't often go out w/out fiorinal. It's easier to be "myself" (HA! I'm thinking of Pilot's last post!).
When I run out (like today) I feel listless, tired, less sociable, less able or willing to work (if I don't push me it doesn't get done, game over). Actually, I used to get really bitchy when I was on 75-100 a wk., NOT bingeing. As in, brutal, biting sarcasm & I was often mean, I'm ashamed to admit.
After F, I tend to sleep a lot (13 hrs. last nt.) but then I didn't go to bed at all the nt. before & worked thru until 6 last nt. But I finished 3 articles, started another & joined this grp! Apart from that, it's life as usual. In fact, last wk. apart from nasty post-codeine (and my regular) headaches, I was feeling positively fantastic w/out fiorinal.
I hate to be the only binger...:-( All I can think is I'm trying to get that high & then when I get it, I can't resist more. If I get the pharmacy to give me 4 a day, it's $10. a day w/out insurance. I get my refill last Tues. & I'm thinking how you all have done it & we're all addicted no matter how you slice/take it, right? And Pilot is very inspiring in that she stopped binging & took up jogging. I could ask a friend but they are all out & about a lot & I can just see me freaking out to get my drugs! And I've a long way to go. My doc wants me to stay here for 10 wks. as I dropped 12 in 5 wks. & quit codeine script as well.
I feel as though I need to do this for myself somehow. Maybe I'll try & really analyze this...always helps. I know I'm chasing a bigger high but the truth is I get a bigger headache & too high to even sleep & work myself into a frenzy which isn't good for me. There, I started!
Any thoughts on how to stop bingeing?
Take care & have a great weekend!
Dancing
Well, I quit binging, but I have yet to kick the habit. I still take them on a daily basis, but I am tapering down. The goal is to take none.
As for not binging, you would be amazed at what I had to do. It is crazy. Part of it was determination. I did not want the ups and downs any more. I couldn't handle it. Neither could my family.
I would count them out, put them in seperate bottles, then tape the bottles shut w/1/2 a roll of tape, and put a to be opend date on them. My goal was to get thru 1 week on 1 bottle. I would set daily goals (not more than xxx) Sometimes I would have to count the bottle daily because I had forgotten how many I had taken. In the end, I finally managed to stick with daily goals instead of binging. Of course I was able to keep the taped bottles locked up at work so I could not get to them on the weekends, but I have a badge to get into work...I just had to sneak over here. So, sometimes it worked, and sometimes it didn't. I actually put one in a safe deposit box one so I couldn't get it.
Now I am on a "reduce the daily goal" plan. Ohhh fun!
But in the long run, I am sure it will be worth it.
Just Curious. About how old are you? I am 33. I do not live alone (sometimes I wish I did). I am married (we were actually divorced for about 3 years) with 2 kids, 3 dogs, a cat, 2 fish, 1 bird and 1 frog. Sound like enough of a zoo??
How many do you get in a script at once? Is it enough that you can split out the script at home and save some for later?
Talk about sick!
Welcome, Dancing in the Dark - you are a riot! If you are having a pproblem with codeine, relax. It only stays in your system for 24 to 48 hours. Yes, you will have diarehha (how DO you spell that?) - but it passes (no pun intended) within a couple of days. The damned butalbtal in the F is the worst. It can take months!
I have never binged on F, because I was always afraid of running out. And, I cannot do cold turkey - I am very slowly tapering under a doc's supervision and it's working for me. Yes, we're all different.
Glad to see that while we're going thru this hell, we can keep our sense of humor! It helps.
Pilot - you're doing well, but if you get a mother of a headache, you gotta do what you gotta do - just go back on your plan the next day.
Everyone, it's great "hearing" from you. We'll all make it. Let's stay in touch, and for now, have a good weekend!
Best,
JR
This morning, after yet another sleepless night, I had a pre-dawn epiphany of sorts. I'd been using the codeine - however unwittingly - to manage my btwn fiorinal binge times. It's been 15 days w/out codeine & when I ran out of F on Fri. as per usual, with no refill until Tues. I didn't give that any thought because it was always the same.
I WAS A MESS! I *felt* bitchy;-) restless, frustrated & worst of all: What a thumping headache. An unremitting, ceaseless SOB I might add. Imitrex, Excedrin, aspirin...no luck. The only bit of good news is I had no weekend plans but I still couldn't work, read, think...I just sat and watched TV & felt sad & depressed about the shuttle disaster & the impending war.
Is this what you all meant by withdrawal? It SUCKS! I didn't really have this last wk. because it was right after I stopped codeine, thus I was in withdrawal hell.
All this time, I've been able to binge on F because codeine chilled me out & worked on my headaches, rebound or otherwise.
I'm prescribed 28 F for 7 days & I've NEVER taken less than 6 or 8 in a day. 4 a day seems almost humorous. After 4 days w/out, I need 3-4 at once just to get going again!
JR! How did you get thru this codeine differential? As I recall, you went thru a nasty spell taking yourself from 20-10 on your own steam. HOW long did it last if you CT'd codeine? And how many F3's were you taking p. day?
BTW; I LOVED your stories, especially the one where you switched the fiorinal 3's for plain. What a scream! Their inventory must have been only slightly off, n'est-ce pas?
Kat! At which pt. did you go cold turkey? You are so inspiring. You just did it. You've got me thinking I should go that route but for the moment, methinks I'd better restabilize. I've 3 articles & 4 column type pcs. due this week AND I AIN'T GOT NO BRAIN! :-)
And Mizz Pilot! I don't know where you have the strength & fortitude to hide & tape up your pills. I had quite a giggle picturing you running back to the office with your keys to "liberate" a few. I don't know where to hide mine from me. In the cat's litter box?
I don't think my mood has been helped by quitting smoking last Mon. (Duh!) I was just feeling so proud of myself for quitting codeine, I thought I'd take care of the cigs too. It's lucky I'm not compulsive...;-)
Well, if I cave anywhere, that's where it will be. I'm staying OFF the codeine & I MUST get on a routine with the fiorinal. I need to wake up & realize it's not about getting high; it's about keeping withdrawal & headaches at bay. They really should put that in the dispensing information! I'm sure I was told otherwise.....:-)
Have a good week everyone & hang tough!!
Dancing in the Dark
Kat: If ya need one, ya need one. Taking one for a tremendous headache, after you have tried all else, is definately within the confines of what you are trying to do...not abuse the junk.
As for the only 2 1/2...well, the reason I am trying to get off from here is because I am not using it for headaches, most of the time. I use it for everything else...ignoring the grocery bill, standing up to the head honcho at work, having the energy to keep up with my kids. And I know that if I don't set a goal, I will be back up to the 100 a week I was at several years back.
You know what is really funny. I can ration them because I know I still have some. If I had quit, like Kat did, and still had a few in a bottle...they would be gone. I guess everyone's strength is different.
I have never done the codiene thing, because I am actually allergic to it. So, can't help anyone there.
Out of curiousity, is everyone here getting it thru a physician/pharmacy on their insurance?? I am only able to get 30 w/3 refills from my physician. I get the rest thru the internet and pay $140 for a bottle of 100. That is extreme, now isn't it. I am just wondering what everyone else is spending on average. I can't do the multi-doctor thing, after my last run in with the doctor network.
So, did everyone have a good weekend?
Anyway, I am with one doctor, who will give it to me 30 w/3 refills. Typically I can refill with him about every 21-25 days. But, he really wants it to last a month. I am supplementing with the internet. I was very very nervous, but found a way to make it work. Nobody knows. It helps that I have my own credit cards and bank account. I place the order using my laptop (so nobody can see the web site I went to in teh history) and have it held at the fed ex (about a block away from work) office for pickup. So, I end up spending a mint. I figure if I can quit these, I can save at least $$600-800 a year. You know what I am going to do with that money??? I am going to buy new furniture for my office!!! Or put it down on a new bedroom set. Maybe a new couch!! Something I can enjoy every day and tell myself I have it because I quit being stupid!
So, there ya go..there is my new motivation get the heck off these and at least live within what my doctor is allowing me to have!
I'm sure there are ways to dr. shop etc. but I've no idea. I think I'm too afraid I'd wind up on the evening news or something!
I have a great liaison with the pharmacy I go to & they know how bad it's been & how far I've come & they are terrific. This AM the mgr advanced me 4 (did it!) for the day as she knew I was in bad shape but she's usually pretty tough with me, yet always nice. Only strange thing was this AM she suggested I refill (have plenty of refills) the Emtec. I was surprised as I'd talked to her about how much I was taking & how much I wanted to stop & that I had. She's very anti-drug & this stunned me. I was taking a LOT of codeine & she knew it & to suggest I go back on it was very weird to me. She just said, you're going to need more F otherwise.
Kat..I don't take a combo of Fiorinal & codeine. I was taking Fior.Plain + Emtec (Tyl. 3 w/out caffeine) + (BIG plus) the OTC ones we buy here which are 8 mg. of codeine, tylenol or aspirin & caffeine. 4 of those equals one T3. I stopped all that nonsense 15 days ago so now I've got the rebounds from that + a 12 a wk. drop in F since early Dec. He just dropped the last 7 a few wks. ago & I'm nowhere close to adjusted.
You 2 have some amazing stories. I'm feeling like an under-achiever here! BTW; you both inspire me so much. Here's Kat, pedal to the metal, full throttle ahead. And Pilot, so focused, calm & deliberate. And you're both succeeding.
Only, Kat! Don't feel guilty for taking a wee bit for the mother of all....it sounds to me like you've got it under control because you know what out of control is. Besides, all that worrying will just give you the mother of all.....!!!
Best,
Joods
Turns out in our nationalized medicine (Cda) there's a Detox which has a Daytox, meaning free out-patient treatment, counseling, classes & 4-5 acupuncture sessions a week - All free. Well, color me pink!
In speaking to a nurse today she told me I was going thru not just the codeine withdrawal but fiorinal as well, binging or not. She gave me a cheap trick & I figured for $5. I could try it. I am delighted to report I am *floating* & feel relaxed for the first time in weeks. She told me my body was full of toxins & junk & this helped release those & relax you. So, for what it's worth: (5*****'s from this patient)
1/2 c. epsom salts in tub
Fill tub halfway with water "just warm enough" to get in.
Get in :-)
Keep increasing the heat, inch by inch until you're really cooking. Simmer slowly. When meat is tender, remove, wrap in towels until dry. Meat can then be cut with a spoon.
Take care all.
Dancing in the Dark
I'm in shock. The last 2 wks has been like Buddy Rich was playing a solo between my ears!
I'm going to start snorting Epsom salts!
REALLY Dancing!
Also, am I understanding that you can buy codeine products in Canada over the counter????? And also, your Daytox program sounds so wonderful. I wish we had that here. We couldn't post last nite, but I wanted to tell you that I went out and bought a bag of Epsom salts and took a bath as you recommended. I did feel better and sort of cleansed. What the hell is that used for in the tub anyways? Keep me informed on what your progress is. Sounds like you're taking on an awful lot at one time. You deserve alot of credit. To everyone else, I hope that you all are doing great. Haven't heard from alot of people in so long. Maybe your recovery is such that you don't talk about it alot or you'll be tempted to use again. But, I'm thinking of each and every one who has posted since September. Lots of good feelings! Kat
I have been taking the nasty things for over 20 years and was taking 12 to 14 a day. Two years ago I was in detox at the hospital (my doctor at that time sent me and made me feel like such a loser-more about him later) and was off of the fioricet for 2 months. It was the most humilitating experince and told myself that I would never go thru that again. Lo and behold, here I am again. Finally confessed to my new Doctor on Monday that I was taking these. Had to tell her I get them off the internet. She was amazed and we made a plan to taper off and try physical therapy. Went ot PT for the first time today and it was great. I also go for a massage once a month and the chriopracor every 3 weeks. I am down to 11 pills a day and every 5 days I will decrease by 1. Afraid of the withdrawals.