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first week

I've been on increasing doses of morphine for chronic pain resulting from back back injury in a car wreck.  It came after years of trying other things -- in a few weeks I'll have 22 years in AA.  I just can't stand it anymore.  Dr "helped" me "taper-off" for a couple of months, and it took another month to use up the stashes and left - overs.  If I make it through the night, it will have been a week.  Insomnia and RLS are driving me nuts.  Too weak to get up for the most part.
What's up in the 2nd week?
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Avatar universal
Thanks.  It doesn't sound like anything I need or want.  I see people talking about it, but didn't know what it was.
One of the things in getting off booze for me was an addiction to the people I drank with.  I was a bar drinker, and as we used to always tell each other, it was better than sitting home in front of the tube.  I sure get the idea that 'more is better'.  It seemed like this 'merry chase after an illusion'.  Another thing I think I notice is that society as a whole suffered from our secreting ourselves off in some sort of enclave away from the sight of others.  It distorted the public concept of what was normal.  A lot of that was not the debauchery of pure drunkeness, but just about family problems and baby needing new shoes or something.  Tolerance of idiosyncracies or something.  Anyway, getting off booze makes things more real, it allows the mundane to be valid, the ordinary to seem more extraordinary, the little things like kindness more massive.  You'll be very glad you took the time to take a different look at things, I promise.
Helpful - 0
557230 tn?1269429829
Sorry for the confusion.  I'm clean off narcotics for 409 days now, and have made the decision to stop any alcohol too now. I never drank much...2 or 3 drinks a few times a week, but I am really starting to finally "get" my addiction.  I understand now that any mind or mood altering substance is a threat to my recovery.  If you're not an addict, 2 or 3 drinks is OK, but I'm addicted to "more"...so at some point, it could mean 4 or 5 drinks, then 6 or 7.  So I'm stopping now, before I get to the point I "need" to stop.  So, although I have stopped my DOC (opiates) for well over a year, I now ony consider myself fully clean and sober for 6 days now.  Does that help?

BTW, sub is suboxone.  It's a controversial way to get off opiates.  Less long acting than methadone, but still with opiate characteristics.  It can also be abused if used incorrectly and getting off the sub is a withdrawl in itself.  But for some, it's what worked for them.  

Good luck!
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Avatar universal
what is sub?
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Avatar universal
The current house manager for our local halfway house appeared at my door a month or two after his original stay as a resident wanting to get clean, explaining that he'd relapsed.  My response was that it looked like he'd just have to start all over again, but that this time he knew what was down the line and would be expected.  We subsequently worked together for many years at the house, until I got so bad I couldn't leave the house.  For awhile things were so bad financially that I gave him $100 a week for his food and personal expenses, and covered a few paydays for residents who go out and do mostly yard work in our small town.  When I finally fell off the cliff, he was forced to have a fundraiser and thanks to our great townsmenandwomen, they raised enough in one night at one dance to cover a whole year of house expenses, and as a bonus, volunteers to make up a new board of directors.  He doesn't get far enough away from me for me to get into the kind of trouble you fear.  He's a speedfreak biker, I'm an alky lawyer (public defender) with a pain problem.
I do love you for your concern, but I don't understand "WTBK---408 days clean off narcotics, 5 days sober", but some are asking me how come I'm 5 days sober, am I drinking.  Could you clarify?  TYVM

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Avatar universal
Not drinking.  my AA b'day, which I don't consider broken by following Drs orders, is 8/24/87.  Nor have I had any morphine since 7/31 -- only 20 days, but I ain't back through them for anything.  I don't know where the 5 days comes from except the post comment from wantobeclean, which reads "WTBK---408 days clean off narcotics, 5 days sober", which means nothing to me.
I may well be a pain addict.  That thought frightens me.  I think I want to have a life and be able to walk about, be able to sit clear through a dinner with friends, work in my green house, build little objects of art, or perhaps o fart, etc., but maybe I'm just protecting my two pack a day butt habit.  It is my self medicator I'm sorry to admit.
Ironically, I'm not only stopping morphine, but trying to pierce through the veil of 'there's no treatment for chronic pain' by getting into a hospital for a CATscan of my spine and some other stuff.  My Dr did some testing which showed me at half the minimum normal for testosterone, and put me on Testim, a 1% testosterone gel.  I'm just going to say T, because testosterone is too hard to type with one hand.  After about a month, my testicals, hereinafter 'balls' if you will permit. hurt so bad I couldn't touch them.  I don't know exactly when that started because I only noticed when I tried to dry off.  Almost puked.  My last spinal xray showed the bones were just falling apart, and the cause of the chronic pain, i know, was from a wreck -- thrown oot the back of a friends car as it went end over end trying to avoid a collision in a hilly area.  the xrays immediately after that showed no broken bones.  My insurance comp[any is standing in the way between me and the hospital.  maybe that's off point, but I'm just trying to fill you in.  The only drug I'm taking now, and that only intermittently because it makes me sooo sleepy, is Lyrica.  I don't even want to start back into the morphine.  I never liked it, and I never got high on opiates because I never liked the fog -- that's all I know about them.  I want to reply to some of the others now for awhile because I'm up for any help I can get.  TY. I'll be back soon.
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228936 tn?1249094248
Bob makes some good points and some of the things he said about narcotics causing more  pain for a while are true and I have heard that from some docs. Tell me Bob if you don't mind, why so long off dope but only 5 days sober? drinking?
Helpful - 0
942290 tn?1252618549
Its normal to have more pain,because your body is no longer making its natural enorphins. just part of the WD process. but the good news is over time, I noticed that I can tolerate pain better than ever. the pills actually made that worse too, over time they dont work as well anyhow.


You just gotta keep fighting on. be tough and dont let the pills get the best of you. when you beat this you will be extremely proud of yourself and amazed how much better you will feel. it takes time........trust me, it took me quite a while, because I was shaking a 'done n norco habit. it was rough but well worth it now !!  time to keep fighting on , this war is not just going to end by itself.........YOU gotta end it !!
Helpful - 0
557230 tn?1269429829
I'm sorry you are still suffering so much from pain.  There is definitely a rebound increase in pain when you come off narcotics.  Those nerve fibers that transmit pain have been so used to being saturated with the narcotics, it exacerbates the pain.  Your body even makes more receptors as your body becomes used to the narcotics. I know you are miserable. But I'd encourage you to wait before you consider restarting narcotics.  I was in a lot of pain for a bout the first month off narcotics but then my pain gradually got better.  But I didn't do this alone.  It sounds like you need someone to talk to.  Please seek some help from a hotline/counselor/doctor.  If you are at the point you are considering putting an end to your life, you need help.

WTBK---408 days clean off narcotics, 5 days sober.
Helpful - 0
228936 tn?1249094248
maybe you are just a pain addict and not as dependent as a get high user. If that is the case then you could stop and start and get more relief from the narcotic. The depression is worrysome and I hope you can talk to someone about it.
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Avatar universal
it's not been a weaning off and starting up again to keep my tolerance w/in reasonable bounds at all.  No morphine whatsoever since 7/31.  It's been awful, but I'm finally sleeping and feeling rested.  I sure would like to know how long it takes for ms er to be entirely out of my system.  It seems more like pain than craving, and maybe that's the only good thing about following Dr's orders rather than purely recreational use, like booze was.  No craving for people places and things, just a giant black hole of pain and despair.  I gave the pistol to a friend as soon as I noticed it was staring at me like the geico money you'd save beastie.  That helped a lot.
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228936 tn?1249094248
This is a tough problem and there are no easy answers for people with alcoholism/ addiction and chronic pain. I was thinking that maybe the weening off and starting morphine again is good because it keeps your tolerance down and lets the narcotic work better but it has to be torture for you. I would like to hear what other pain specialists say about this (besides dr. Junig who posts here who hates narcotics but loves sub and takes it himself), have to say about this complicated problem. Narcotics, or what else or sometimes narcotics? all the best
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271792 tn?1334979657
If you are feeling suicidal please go to your local er or call the suicide hot line.
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Avatar universal
18 days.  agony continues,  but head sometimes clearer.  Obviously the pain for which it was prescribed is coming out, but I can't find a dr who will help me get a catscan of the underlying injuries.  been suicidal for a week, and unbelieveably angy.  I can't even get a blood test to prove I haven't been using the grug they gave me, and my for profit insurance is standing between me and a hospital.
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Avatar universal
Yup, that sure was sweet.  Just hope I don't pass through there again.
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Avatar universal
it was a white knuckler, in part because I had to rebuild this beast.  It just seemed to die
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Avatar universal
I finally fell asleep about 3 - 4 I guess, and woke up feeling better than I have in months and months.  It was very affirming to read the notes sent, and they are much appreciated.  I remember how booze was, and how confused I was.  Just have to keep allowing whatever and not take them ugly orange pills.  Thanks again.
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983679 tn?1276833336
hey concrads your worst sould be bout over.
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942290 tn?1252618549
things will start to get better, the first week is the worst usually.  I know what its like,having two fused vertibre , two fractures in the c5/6 and bone spurs around the back injury that sometimes flare up, and create a nightmare of pain.

you have to be mentally  prepared for the mind games though, when you do start to feel normal again. even as bad as WD's are I often found myself justifying use, by thinking I would handle it different this time....never was able too.
Helpful - 0
230262 tn?1316645934
hey good morning to you..sorry your post hasnt been responded to yet. You posted during the "dead hours" here and some nights no one is seemingly on til morning (other times there are others suffering WD/insomnia and they post too all night, but you picked a dead night i guess) anyways, welcome to the forum and congrats on 1 week! You should nearly be over the worst part of the physical WD's. It is different for everyone and can vary. Also morphine may have a longer half life than the usual run of the mill pills therefore your symptoms may be lingering a lil longer. Hang in there, it does get better. I was on MS contin for a brief time about 2 yrs ago too (Im also a chronic pain patient) good luck to you and hang in there!
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Avatar universal
must be unspeakable
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