My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months now. Within the past 6 months he has quit smoking meth (which he had done for over 5 years) and has within the last 2 months quit smoking pot (which he had done since youth). He is in drug counseling and seems to be doing well with it, but now he has moved on to alcohol. He comes home and gets totally smashed every single night. He has no license so he doesn't need to worry about driving. He drowns all his issues with drinking now and I'm very nervous watching him jump from one addiction to another. I want to help him cut back on his drinking without pushing him back towards meth and pot. Any advice for living/ dating a generalized "addict"? I'm so stressed over this
He'll never be able to "cut back" on his drinking. It just doesn't work that way. Alcohol is a drug just like the others and is just as dangerous. I never liked alcohol. In fact, I've been drunk enough times to count on one hand. However, I plan to never drink again. Why? Because the brain has no way to differentiate between the chemicals that I use to alter my mood. You're discovering that addiction actually has very little to do with the substances we take. It's a mental disease that changes the very way we think. Changing from one drug to another is called cross-addiction, and is very common unfortunately. I'd suggest having a long talk with your boyfriends counselors and alert them to his cross addiction. Either he's not getting the correct information, they don't know what he's doing, or he's just ignoring their suggestions. NA meetings may be a good idea, too. NA makes a clear point that alcohol isn't thought of as a different substance, it's a drug just like all others.
I am sorry your going through this, but he has to help himself first and want to quit. Getting smashed every single night is a serious problem. You have only been with him a few months? Is his drug counselling forced? My suggestion to you is think long and hard about if you really want this relationship if he is going to continue this type of behaviour, things usually get worse, your in the honeymoon phase now. Please take care of yourself ok.
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