so when im high, i tell myself that i want to get clean and that i can start my new life. that i have so many things i want to do....it's my first day and im just laying here watching tv...i dont have any money, i dont have anybody but my boyfriend whos sitting here with me. what do i do. whats the point of getting clean if im just laying here?
It takes time and you have to really be ready for this and want it. After 3 1/2 years of it, I was sick to death of not being able to leave my house without pain meds. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and a force beyond me helped me push through it and this forum ofcourse! What's your dose, drug of choice? I went through pure hell and still having some wd's over a week since my last dose. I have hope that the worst is over and that my life will be so much better for getting clean. Good luck!
well..perhaps u r not ready???dunno..does ur boyfriend use as well?
Lots of peeps do not even have a boyfriend laying beside them during detox..i did not..i was alone thru mine...perhaps stop and Try hard to smell the roses...they do not live that long/roses dont...and u can miss alot while trying to find a reason to be happy...and it lies within urself...when u really want this u will know it..u will be so tired of this cycle...it will make u even more tired to think about using
Most need some sorta outside support..counseling or meetings...is ur guy supportive?
no one can help u feel happy...only u can look at what u have and feel happy u have it...if u r not happy with ur life//then only u can change it..there r tons of reasons to wanna be clean...for me having money instead of spending it on pills was a major motivator//trusting my decisions was another...actually FEELING again was great too....not worrying where my next pill was coming from was a huge relief
everyone has their own reasons they stopped//and the things that motivated them to stop....what r the reasons u want to quit///i think u r saying money/or lack of/ may be one of them?
I was just thinking of ur question..Whats the point in stopping? I guess I came to a conclusion where i did not see any Point in using anymore cos i was depressed anyway...sumpin had to give....using gets an addict nowhere..but down
I have been on suboxone for 4 years and sometimes I still feel that way. I am in school and making good grades like I'm supposed to be, but I was laying here the other day thinking that things were better when I was high. I 'm still as broke as now as I was when I was getting high. Nothing has really gotten better for me, except that I'm clean. When I went to rehab all I heard was all the great things that happened for everyone once they got clean. I'm still waiting, I guess success and hapiness doesn't come as easy for some as it does others. But your just on day one, I don't think you can unravel the damaged caused from drug use in one day. I think on day one you your doing what your supposed to be doing....laying there.
I know this probably wasn't much help because I'm sort of feeling the same way as you are today, but I probably won't feel this way tomorrow.
Man, that's a tough one, I also am on day one and it's like 3am I can't sleep and I don't want to eat but I got this feeling that there's something else out there for me. It may not be for you right now, I mean it seems like every time I detox I tell myself it's not worth it, but my friend just died today and all I wanted to do was get messed up and I think the more I fight it the stronger I become. Sometimes people have to have change around them before they want to.
what's the point? choosing LIFE over DEATH...whether it is a physical death or a mental death. either way...drugs kill your soul.
after reading your posting history, it appears that you have been coming to this forum off and on for quite some time. i've read your struggles, about you walking out of rehab to turning to stripping. i read how you wanted to stop...then read about your many relapses.
one thing i didnt get out of your posts was a determination and committment. this is even evidenced by how you come and go from this forum. have you ever heard the term "nothing changes if nothing changes" ? i am not really seeing any changes taking place in your life.
you are so young to be going through all that you have been going through. having friends and a great social life seem to be ultra important to young adults your age...so much so that you cant see past "today". tomorrow DOES come...but if you continue on the road that you are on...there may not be a tomorrow.
if you are really ready to get clean...i urge you to step up to the plate...do WHATEVER it takes to make that goal obtainable. make the changes necessary to make it happen...get rid of drug using "friends" (yes...this may even include your b/f)...delete all phone numbers from using friends on your cell phone...get some "sober" support...family / this forum / therapy/ AA/NA/a rehab that is suited for your needs...ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING that is a positive support system. identify your triggers and stay away from them. WHATEVER you do to make this happen...commit, commit, commit ! ! !
i commend your efforts and see that you have had a month to a month and a half of clean time, several times. make THIS the last time. if you get anything out of my comments...i hope that it is this... "nothing changes if nothing changes".
Hey if you really won't to get clean you will find the (real) happy things in life. Getting clean us the BIGGEST gift you can give yourself and your loved ones. It will be hell for about a week. At the end of this week things really do look better then when you were using. If you truly want to get clean grab a hold of the chance you have to get clean. Not everyone gets this chance
When I get clean I experience long stupefying depressions, very cold, very meaningless and wonder what's this all about anyhow. Well my answer is real simple. Drugs stop working, at least for me, they turn on my and let me down and leave my in a hollow dark scary place with only withdrawal to look forward to. I have always found it hard but I see no other choice and I do believe things can get better. And I do believe it is very very hard.
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