hehe, its not funny but i need a friend, a sposnser type thing

[JDeezy]

heres my story, im 17  almost 18, back in 9th grade one of my buddies gave me a vicodin and it was the best thing i have ever felt and i wanted more. i had an unlimited supply because my mom suffers the same as i do with an addiction. this year i am now going into my 5th year of high school, dosent have to deal with vicodin i promise, but a few weeks ago i sat down and i just thought damn, ive been takin these forever so i went cold turkey i guess. its been 2 weeks kinda since i ate a pill, a few days ago one of my buddies gave me 2, and i feel like **** and i keep runnin my moms room tryin to find more even though i really dont wnat one. i have no one to talk to and no one to help me with this. There are people i let it slip to but id rather not let people know, i feel its shameful and embaressing. its been almost 4 years, i feel like i am doing ok by myself but theres days like today when i wake up home alone feelin like **** in and out of the bathroom, i just want 1 pill. me and my mom live togeather and its tearing us apart because im always lieing and stealing and too strung out to care, and that just came along with the addiction. Even though i have a child i just called it quits with my g/f, that whole relationship was just built off me bein stoned all the time, and we cant really stand eachother when im sober. it ruined my life before it even started. too make it short, its time for me to change and  i would like someone to talk to, someone that one judge me, yell at me, and anything along those line, preferably someone i dont know in person, but anyone would help more than they know i really need it, and if things go right and someone does help me out, this is kinda weird im sorry, i would love to meet that person, anyone who i can talk to about this is wayy more than a friend to me you know?

[Bob641]

Hi, and welcome to the Forum. Here you will find a lot of friends and support, including people with a great deal of knowledge about certain additives medications an how to withdrawal from them. I can relate to you in some way. I'm 51 years now, but when I was 22, my younger brother was already married, so dis most of my relatives, at that time I was living my life like a Casanova, but felt the pressure of the "traditional" family to get married, so I did, but I picked the wrong apple. The marriage was completely dysfunctional, but lasted cause of the 3 children I had during it.My parents divorced when I was 5 years old so the presence of my father was none, to say the least.I didn't want my kids to go thru what I went so I maintained married for 15 years, big mistake, that woman is bipolar and very dangerous, drove me almost crazy, to the point I tried to commit suicide, wope up 7 days later of a coma in a hospital, since then I'm not the same, I have physicals disorders ( mainly accute depression a bit of schizoid personality, so that means, I don't like to hang aroud socially, I'm more of a kind of reclusive type, don't go out much, ect, get the picture. I got hooked on Fioricet( a pain killer for migraine( the active ingredients are butabarbital and codeine) for more than 10 years taking at the end 13 or 14 pills a day, tried to stop cold turkey twice, both had seizures. Finally while hospitalized for a cardiac disorder I got another seizure(the lack of Fioricet) and when the issue came out I told the doctor about my pill abuse. He gave fenobarbital, dunno mgs, via IV, dreasing for 3 days, I had vomits, sweating, paranoid or demential dreams, whatever you call it: you can difference the dream from reality, but after 3 days, all was gone. Never touched that pill again.
Well, dammit, I made it too long, LOL. The point is that is Ok to relapse, you are only human and humans make mistakes, just pick your self togheter again and start all over. I relapsed w? Vicodin? Tramadol and Xanax and I'm trying now to get rid of them , but one at a time, and slowly, take whatever time it takes, to avoid seizures and possibly any symptoms of W/D. Count on me if you need someone to talk too, my daughter while in her teenager years experimented w/ some drugs and we were always very comunicative and open and I helped a lot at that time, know she is helping me, that' karma ;)
Take care and good luck
Bob

[mimi1313]

Hi,

Welcome! You have a whole forum full of people who do that for each other every day. Its really great becasue whenever you need to talk there's usually someone here. You can get a lot of information and support here.

I have to say though, it would be tough living with your mom and her having pills all the time and staying clean.

No one will judge you or criticize you. We are all the same. So just keep posting and you will find more than one friend, I can guarantee you that.

Good luck sweetie, my name is Melissa. If you need anything, I'm here as well as a lot of wonderful understanding people.