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Avatar universal

help for my son

Hi All, I have been reading many of the posts here. I stumbled across this forum while searching for something else but so happy that I did. My son (21) has recently admitted to me (although I knew for a couple years) that he is addicted to Oxycontin. I just don't know how many ml a day he is taking. His life recently spiraled out of control and he is left to almost nothing now. I thank God for that because now he wants to change. Basically the only way to go from here is up.
Anyhow, he wants to get off the drugs. He has planned that he is going to stay at my house during his WD because he cannot hang out with his friends during that time. His plan is to use Methadone for a few days. He states he needs someone to regulate the dosage so that he is not tempted to take more than the recommended dosage. I am nervous about it because I don't know what to expect. Is he going to get violent with me? Are the chances of him getting addicted to Methadone too great? Many posts have helped ease some of my anxiety about this but anything you can offer would be great. I have also noted some alternatives in this forum to Methadone. What do you think? Thanks for your help
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Avatar universal
Where do I post at? New to this...
Helpful - 0
6063300 tn?1430430571
This post is from 2010 If you can start another post there will be a lot of people to help you! I can say if I were you I would make him get sober before letting into my house. Just my thoughts
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Avatar universal
My son just called at said he wants to quit drugs and wants to move home.  He said he is done.  But... if he moves back in he wants his girlfriend to move in as well.. (a girl I have never met)  he says she wants to quit too.  I want to help him, but should she move in too?  I don't know what to do or say to him.  I have been round and round with my son, he has been in and out of jail since he was 16, he is now, 31.  This is the first time he is free from jail and probation.  He has no job, he has a learning disability and dyslexic. He has a low self esteem and has no relationship with his father.  He started using meth in Dec 2014 and then went back to jail in Feb 2015.  He was released almost two weeks ago, and has started meth again, and now wants to quit.  How can I help?
Helpful - 0
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
That is good he is out of that situation.  Nothing good was going to come of that.  How is he feeling tonight?
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Avatar universal
No, he brought all of his stuff with him when he decided to get clean. He lives with me right now
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271792 tn?1334979657
Is he still living in the house with people who use drugs?
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Avatar universal
oh, good idea. Carnation instant breakfast is good too. Thanks. I have protein but just don't have the energy to make it :)
My son started working out today too. He used to be very strong but today he found out just how weak he became, so he has set a new goal now to get back to lifting as much as before. That and working on his car has kept and will continue to keep him busy :)
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495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Get some Ensure or something like that and drink it.  You have to take care of yourself  otherwise you will be no good to anyone if you get sick.  Keep us updated on how it is going......sara
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Avatar universal
Thank you. he does know this is a side effect that will get better but it causes him to be up most of the night. I am trying to take care of myself but it is hard sometimes. I don't get enough sleep either because I worry about him and I am not eating much because I am worried about him getting all his nutrition to get healthy so I cook for him but it is hard for me to eat. I am also paranoid now that he will go back to it. So make sure to keep us in your prayers. It is far from over but looking up nonetheless and better than it has been in years.
Thank you
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Avatar universal
Hi, the last methadone he took was .5 mg on Thursday morning. So far the only problems going on are insomnia and anxiety which is why he is still doing the xanax. I hope it subsides enough to stop that. Other than that no withdrawls. I honestly think the detox procedure done from the health and wellness doctor played a big part. I will keep you posted. Thanks
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495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
The anxiety is no fun at all but it does get better with time.  Make sure you are taking care of yourself too.........
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Avatar universal
HI im happy to here he is sticking it out....the anxiety was my worst symptom so I know how he feels it will get better with time...how did he do on the methadone today did he take any or did he give it up??im hoping he has stoped taking it..so he can get threw the withdrawals
and be done with it...keep posting your in my prayers.....Gnarly
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Avatar universal
He gets anxiety and that is probably the worst of it. He is still taking the xanax but he is only taking 2mg a day but he really would like more. I definitely do not want that to be another dependency nor does he so we agreed on quarters 4x a day. He's hanging in there.
Thank you for asking.
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495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
How are things going today?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you for the heads up. I will be watching for it. He had a detox method done through biofeedback and he is taking a lot of vitamins and doing a clean start program for detoxing the organs. So far he has done great but great for someone who is going through withdrawls, not totally normal or anything. His spirits are up and he is working on his project (outside in the sun, which also helps because he is sweating so much) and basically cannot quit talking because he is so excited to be alive at this point. I will be praying that the next week will not be too bad but as with all my prayers, I have prayed that God will give him peace and not too much pain but just enough pain so that he remembers and will not go back to it.
I hope your wife and son are doing well. Thank you for your prayers and I will continue to pray for you as well.
Thank you,
Helpful - 0
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
I know how hard this is for you and it is heartbreaking.  I wish i could tell you that this was just a nightmare but i cant.  Hopefully your son will get into a recovery program of some sort.  You can have your son back, even better than before but it will take alot of work on his part.  This isnt hopeless~~~~~~sara
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Avatar universal
You know, I received a lot of different opinions during this entire process mainly because everyone is different and what works for one person may not necessarily work for someone else. Ya, my head was spinning from talking to so many people with different opinions. I was not looking for someone to justify the methadone on that day as I had decided against mixing the two at that time. The reason I called the hotline was because my son was going nuts and wanted to throw in the towel. I wasn't sure I was handling it right and I wanted to get advice on what to do. it was not about searching for someone to tell me what I wanted to hear.
As far as what I want to hear: I want to hear that this is all a big nightmare and my straight A, honor roll all his life son never made a decision to become a junkie and in fact went to college as planned and never really pawned or lost everything he ever owned in his life for the sake of getting high. I want to hear that no matter what, everything is going to be ok and that I don't ever have to worry about him making this stupid decision ever again. Still not hearing what i want to hear. Instead I am trying my best to do the right thing, to help my son as best as I know how without trying to be an enabler or codependent to him. I sought out advice because I have not had experience with this before and I so desperately did not want to screw it up. I waited until he came to me and he was ready. That is all I have to hang on to. but it has nothing at all to do with me asking for help so that I can hear what I want to hear.
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Avatar universal
HI Im so happy your son dident leave and you found someone to put your mind at eaze
im also happy your sone is done with the methadone after only 40 mg ...the real detox will start when he goes without the methadone that has been holding him over to ward off the withdrawals...it should have softened the blow from the oxy but just be ready for him to go threw some withdrawals about 2 days after he discontinues the methadone...the detox process will take a week or so after the methadone clears outr of his system I hope and pray he does well with it narcotic free....keep posting we all want ot see your family make it out of this mess good luck and God bless......Gnarly
Helpful - 0
271792 tn?1334979657
I knew if you talked to enough people you would get the answer that you wanted to hear and you did.

I will keep you both in my prayers and I hope once the physical withdrawal is over he will continue and begin his recovery.
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Avatar universal
Well, this has been a whirlwind week. i was unable to get on to update you as I have been so busy. My son's ride never showed up so he came back and in the meantime I was able to get a hold of a hotline where I could actually talk to someone. I was talking to a recovering addict who was using for 15 years. He explained to me that my son wanting only 10mg of methadone would be fine. My son had already told me that he had taken the two together before with no problems and he needed the methadone for his plan to work but I was not trusting him when it came down to life or death. The guy explained to me that what my son was taking was much worse and that his tolerance would be so high that it would not be a problem. I then got my son to talk to him with while I got the methadone. My son explained his plan to the guy and when I got back on the phone the guy explained to me that my son's plan was excellent. He had a strict plan of just how many mg of each he would take each day, tapering off until there was no more drugs at all after day 5 or  6. The guy told me that my son knew what he was doing, that the fact that he gave me all his drugs was an immense amount of trust and he assured me that he talks to addicts everyday and that my son is determined and does not want to be addicted to either methadone or xanax and that his plan is on track for success. The sad thing is that my son was crying after that because I did not trust him and I trusted a stranger more than him. I hope someday when he is well, he will understand.
So far, he is working on day 5 and he has taken a total of 40 mg of methadone and doesn't want any more. The xanax is a little more difficult for him to do without just because of the anxiety but we are weaning. God has intervened and this has not been horrific for any of us. I took him to a health and wellness doctor on day 2+ and he had several procedures done that helped him a great deal. He put him on several nutritional and detoxing items and he is doing great. He has even had a sense of humor since day 2+. he is full of energy and life right now. He was even given a vehicle to fix, which has become his project to keep him busy. I know this a long road ahead but he was ready and I know God will get us all through this.
Also, this week his gf's brother called and he is a recovering addict himself, sober 5 years and helps people every day. He is taking her in today to live with him until she gets well. They both understand that it will be a long time before they get to be together if ever and they are both ok with that just to get well.
All I can say is God is good people!!!
Do not underestimate the power or prayer. thank you for your support and help and most of all prayers.
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Avatar universal
hi, firstly I think its fantastic that you are helping your son this way. I have been clean for 18 months now after a long addiction to prescription medication and finally told my parents. they, like you, already had suspected that I had a drug problem so it wasn't a big surprise. I wanted to get clean, so my mum, at short notice (she is a school principle) took 2 weeks off work to help me wigthdrawl. She was with me every second and would not let me leave the house without her so I couldnt get more pills! I did get clean, and I thank god for my wonderful mother in helping me. So I think it's great that you will help your son.

What compelled me to write - I have to admit I did feel a bit sorry for your son and the mixed messages he got - because he was under the impression he COULD have the methadone and then told he couldn't - therefore aborting the whole thing? I know you were only doing what you thought was right. I did a internet search - I can find NO contraindication between methadone and xanax (that I can see.) I agree with others that it would be better if he did the withdrawl methadone free - but whats better - to get clean with meth for a few days (as long as thats all it's for) or to stay buying drugs off the street? Just my personal opinion but I think he'd be better off with the first option! Once he does get clean, like me - he will not be able to believe how great he feels - full of life and energy, and this will motivate him to STAY clean as it did me. So If he'll ONLY do the withdrawl with the meth (provided you have control of the dose) maybe you'll consider it? And you could call a doctor to check about the methadone/xanax thing to make doubly sure.
And again - I think its so great you are willing to help your son.
God bless
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Avatar universal
I am an addict myself.  I can tell you this much.  YOU have not lost the battle, it is not YOUR battle to fight.  It is your son's.  He has made it clear that he knows he has a problem and that he needs to stop.  Oxycontin is a VERY strong and addictive drug, and unless you are a professional...in a professional setting, (such as a detox center), then you are not capable of seeing him thru the first days and weeks of sobriety,not alone anyway, you need to seek a professional about this if possible.  All you can do is be there for support, but you should REALLY do some research on co dependency, because this situation seems like it could transform into such.  I can also tell you this much, this is a problem that can only be suspended, but never completely removed, in other words, if he succeeds one day in detoxing and getting off of the pills, it is another battle to STAY off of them, that is just as hard, probably even harder in the long run.  
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Avatar universal
:( I have lost the battle. He is going back home because I will not stick to his plan. Thanks everyone
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Avatar universal
wow, you are going through a lot yourself. I will pray that God will give you strength as well. Hang in there. I hope your son feels better. That is not good
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