help!!! i dont know what to do!!! roxi/oxy addictio

[Lovemomof2]

I have been coming here for a week or so. I am trying to get off the 30mg oxycontin. It is horrible. Wish I would have never picked one up. I did though and here I am. I weaned down from 17-19 a day to 12 and down to 8 in a few weeks. My husband found out and I stopped. Yesterday was my first full day without anything. Well, this morning I couldn't take it anymore. Sweating, restless, can't sleep, feel like I was going to die and I slipped up. I want this but I was in so much pain. My question is, how do I do this??!! I am a mess. I have 2 kids at home...1 and 4. Do I continue to wean? I was doing pretty well with that but the withdrawals were pretty intense. Really don't want to do suboxone but maybe I should? I am so lost. Please help.

[Lovemomof2]

Thanks to all of you- really. It seems like the answer is right in front of me but hard to do. I have some left, its the end of the day, and part of me just wants to flush them. But I can't!!! I am going to continue to taper with the ones I have left, and that's it. If I am unable to do that, I am considering going to treatment to be fair to my kind husband and beautiful kids! I would have to tell my mom....which would make het so sad. She has always been so proud of me, it seems like I have always been on top of things...I played college soccer for s*** sakes! How did my life come to this??!! Done with my pity party. The help and kindness of the people here...especially Vicki and many others have helped tremendously. I wouldn't have tapered down this far without your support. I hope good things come right back to you!

[ImDONENoMore]

I know you're scared and it's great that you came here to ask for advice.  But it only takes one step - call the Dr. and get on a good and safe tapering plan.  I promise you you will be relieved after you make that call.  Don't let self-pride or shame stop you from doing this okay?  The right Dr.'s can help you - so let them.

[vicki595]

She's been making progress every day ...

[IBKleen]

Hun, please ignore omhome. He is rude and insensitive and has been causing problems in several posts.

Keep talking until you decide what you will do. Talk it all out and ask questions. Someone will always be here to answer them.

As far as tapering and having easier withdrawal. Yes, that usually is true. But, and it is a big but, I wish you didn't take the taper plan of a stranger here on the internet. I wish that you would seek professional help. I can't force you into anything I just want to see you get well and do it safely.

[omhome]

hey love: i know you have been trying hon no doubt about that but you need professional help and soon  please re-read ibklean's advice.  And if u really really know what to do----as dr. phil would say   how's that working out for you?   please re-read your thread because  the answer u seek is in there!OM

[Lovemomof2]

I HAVE been working on doing something. I have tapered a bunch really. Down from 16-18 a day to 6-8. I have a taper plan. I have come here to ask for support/advice. My real question was:  how much will I  decrease withdrawal symptoms by decreasing more? No.One  really knows.  I'm not  sure about not knowing what to do. Seems to me I can : chec myself in somewhere, go to the er, stick to the taper plan I have made with someone else, or cold turkey.

[omhome]

i started a new CP adventure on the Chronic couch. I could really use your help. Ck out my posts and come on over if you think it is something you would like to do. OM

[omhome]

you need to listen to vicki and ibclean! You are facing a very difficult challenge and you DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING! You do not know what to do. But you did make one very good decision and that was to reach out to the people here. Now please stop resisting what they are advising and start DOING something about your situation. You have asked---and been answered by folks who KNOW-----so--------SO??? And you have self-deprecated enough now----now do things that will result in  u feeling better about yourself..and your SELF! You can do it----but you have to get off the"pot" and actually DO IT!    shanti       OM

[Lovemomof2]

I wasn't planning on taking all of these together. My husband was prescribed clonidine to help with withdrawals awhile back. I was thinking I could use the suboxone when I jump off of these. But, you are right. I am self medicating and have been doing so for way too long. Think I will talk to my husband and go see someone. I am getting to the point of being so.sick if this and like everyone has said over and over you can't do it alone. The ramifications of sharing this with my family seem overwhelming at the moment. I don't know what is best, but think if I can wean down a bit more I can avoid being hospitalized.

[Life360_Dave]

You need help an support right now. I was diagnosed with cancer a while back and did not tell anyone, i just wanted to crawl in a whole, die, and get it over with, once i told others it helped me in my treatments was very important to see that others cared about me. Cancer and drug abuse are both physical illnesses and need to be treated and if the illness is that bad (only you know the anwer to this) then its time to tell others and get help. Its not  you fault but as with all diseases there are cures.

[IBKleen]

I don't want to beat a dead horse here but you are scaring me. You are looking to take one pill for this and you have a stash of a bunch of pills and two Suboxone (which will do nothing) and one Clonidine (which will do nothing). But mixing all of this up is a cocktail that could be lethal. Besides the obvious elephant in the room---you are still self-medicating. It sounds like you will decide what is best. If you knew what was best you would not be here.

Please, please consider either getting into a treatment center or doing outpatient treatment or going to your doctor for help. Let the professionals help you through this before you do something to harm yourself. The majority of overdoses are accidental.

[vicki595]

UGH!!   "Going to sleep for three days" is not what you want, I'm sure. It's Rapid Detox ( Google that) and it's really harsh. It's also REALLY expensive.

Okay. You're feeling wd's like this because of the WAY you tapered down. It's TOO FAST and then you stopped cold!  Try to slow it down or stay where you were for a few days, take the Immodium and then assess...

I know what's happening here and you're under a huge strain. You really need some in person advice so get with your husband and look for an addictionologist in the yellow pages or google it!! (I love google...). There are a lot of resources out there...there are also intensive outpatient programs around...Do some research ...

[ToPretty4Pills]

Just hang in there. Take it moment by moment. That is what I am doing and trust me I am right there with you. I am on an emotional roller coaster. We addicts tend to let shame get the better of us. Every person is different. I was admitted to a hospital about 10 years ago after OD'ing and thier medical detox didn't help me. They gave me clonidine and trazadone. It didn't go well. I flipped out when I realized the were admitting me to the psychiatric floor. Funny now but, not then. I kept telling the nurse, "I am not CRAZY I am just addicted to pills". Now I can see the irony in that statement. I know I am not crazy. Addiction is a disease. The people that I have talked to about this process told me to be gentle with myself. If all you can do is get up and take a shower then just do that. Everthing is going to be an uphill battle @ first. Just know that you are not alone in feeling the way you do and trust that it gets better. I am waiting on it to get better too.

[Lovemomof2]

I have the 30mg....what I was thinking was that tapering would lessen the withdtawls a little. Am I wrong? Am I just putting off the inevitable? I can hand all of my bank cards to my husband. My problem, well one of my many problems, is I start getting really sick, hear my kids and give in. I know I need to do this. I was already to be done but felt so sick this morning. Felt like I would rather die! So, I decided to wean down more so that withdtawls would be more bareable. Maybe I am kidding myself and just prolonging the inevitable. I am very confused. The thought of sleeping for 3 days to get through this sounds pretty appealing. I do have 1 clonidine pill and 2.5 suboxone pills.

[Clong45]

So what kinda pills do you still have?  Hydros? Roxi/Oxys? Suboxone?  all the above?  Continued access to pills is just gonna keep you trapped from defeating this.  Suboxone is something I wouldn't consider in your case.  Suboxone is stronger than any of the drugs you are taking right now.  It would be a big mistake.  If you take the hydrocodone to minimize the oxy withdrawls, you will find yourself eating them like candy and all you will be doing is putting off full blown withdrawl till you run out of the hydrocodone.  Quitting cold turkey is possible where you are at.  It is up to you.  Regardless, having access to pills seems to be your problem.  You are trying to quit knowing there is a bottle of pills to fall back on.  It is time to make up your mind of how serious you want to be about this.  

[Lovemomof2]

I have muscle relaxers and things to help me sleep. I just don't know if going to the er is the answer. I DO understand the ramifications of all of this mess...that us why I am posting here. I am just trying to get out of this mess. I don't know, maybe I have gotten myself in so deep that I need to go away somewhere. I just can't deal with telling other family members and friends right now. I have a few people I talk to and plan to go to aa as soon as I get through withdrawals.

[ToPretty4Pills]

I am on day six off of a 13 year hydrocodone habit. If you feel like you can't do it alone DON'T. I wouldn't go to the ER though. They will just treat you like ****. Been there done that. I can tell you that it is possible to get off of them and stay clean. My Uncle just celebrated one year of sobriety and my Aunt has 9 months clean. They were both HEAVY oxycontin users. I wouldn't think it is possible if I had not watched them get clean. They went through a medical detox of suboxone for a week then a 30 day inpatient program. I tried the suboxone but, it got me high too. I went cold turkey for the first four days and now I am taking flexirl to help with the jitters and insomnia. My Aunt & Uncle recommend 12 step meetings but, during the acute withdrawel phase that can be difficult. I would call a Dr. if I were you. They can prescribe things to help with the nausea and insomnia.

[vicki595]

I disagree with going to the ER...

[Life360_Dave]

I totally agree with IBKleen, call a doctor and if you need time then go to the emergency room today. you will get help there to start the process.

[Life360_Dave]

Best to see our doctor about this as you are in a real quantry. If i told my doctor i got addicted to street oxys he would help me on a hydro taper but because of all the news about the abuse i beleive most doctors would runaway from this request. Dont hate yourself as you did not know the consequence of what you were doing or never would have started it. You did not know about addiction withdrawal so intense. There are about 3  ways to get out of this, cold turkey, taper or go to a treatment center if you. Most insurance will cover this. A new approach to these centers is to sedate you for the first 3 days or so till your body has made it through the worst. Also remember the more you take the more you will need and the longer the problem.

[IBKleen]

Hun, if you are going to start taking this to get off of that you are putting yourself in danger. PLEASE consider seeking a doctor's help. People overdose everyday doing exactly what you are doing. You have no plan and I don't think you understand the ramifications.

[Lovemomof2]

I know, they are horrible.Maybe I should try and wean off with hydrocodone? I am such a mess. I know that I didn't get here overnight...these things are life ruiners. They will strip you of everything. I hate myself for putting myself here. I am so lost....I feel stuck.

[Life360_Dave]

It took time to get hooked and it will take time to get off them. this is a process. The book says that Oxy are time release. They stay in your system longer and thats why withdrawals are harder. You better get away from them asap as these are them ones you can overdose from without knowing. Normaly you take one oxy which is good for 7 hours or so, you say your taking 17 that means it is backing up in your system and is very dangerours. please reconsider taking these.

[IBKleen]

Also take hot baths to help relieve the muscles. Eat when you can. It is important to take care of yourself during this time. Also if you can do some light exercise you will amazed at how much it will help. Be good to yourself!