help me survive

I can't do this... no one cares and I just think that I need to just finish it.  I have too many addictions...no one cares... I'm about done

[Beccabeccalynn]

Molly what are you addicted to?

[Mollyheart]

vicodin

[Mollyheart]

also, I'm a bulemic, anorexic, depressive... I am so sad I don't know what to do... tapering down from 4 vics a day to 3 over 2 weeks... I'm in so much pain...

[SuzzQ]

finish it?  I have two addictions... at least.. Norco (was taking at least 6 a day) for at least a year, and taking klonapin 1 mg... I am trying to quit both.  I don't know how many klonapins I was taking, but I'm just taking little tiny pieces now.. whenever I feel very weird... about twice a day.. I was taking xanax for many years.. over 15 years.. and quit them, but got on the klonapin 1mg... now... yeah, it is hard and it is confusing to me too.. but you should, if you want to, at least try.. sometimes I feel like giving up and take whatever I want.. but, I want to think clearly ... you should at least think about it.. give yourself a chance... I do wish you strength...

[Ella789]

We are here,  we care.   We have all felt that we are in this alone,  it is a familar feeling too.  There are alot of people on here who can help.  We all have our own advice and opinions.  Life does get better, it does take time and a helping hand sometimes.   How can we help you?  What is going on with you?   More info please.
Hugs

Ella

[Mollyheart]

it's ok,  I know what to do... thanks

[SuzzQ]

I am in pain too... I have nerve and tissue damage from that accident.. it was pretty bad, even though just hit from behind.. my son fractured his spine, he was with me..  He is so addicted to the strongest oxycotin... it is so sad.. pamper yourself... that's what the counselor told me... you are doing good with the vics!!  

[Mollyheart]

I'm just so sad and alone and overwhelmed ... thanks for the responses... I just took a vicodin and I can't find a safe place... I don't want to eat and I am drinking ... I think I'm in trouble

[SuzzQ]

maybe you can just cut down on one medication at a time,  that's hard enough.. and eventually, you will be over them all Molly... don't give up.. people do care..

[Ella789]

Depression can and does cause pain,  I know because I suffer with depression,  have tried many different kinds and currently on Lexapro.   I also take Remeron at bedtime.  I think it is a good time for you to see a Dr. abt. the depression and see if perhaps he will help you.   I see my phychiatrist every two months and sooner if necessary.  My pain levels are much improved now too.   Try Aleve soft gels for in-between pain.   Please see a Dr. abt. the depression, you should not have  to live like you are in hell.   I know, been there.   Chances are they can help with the anorexia/bulimia too.  

Ella

[Mollyheart]

Last week after 7 years of prescribing me 4 vicodins a day and never saying anything about it being a health problem, he starting yelling at me telling me that I was an addict and taking more than a cancer patient...he never said anything about it before... he booted me from his practice and told me to find another doctor and I was so humiliated... what did I do?  I've been starving myself and throwing up for 20 years and he never asked about why I wouldn't take a physical... too embarrassed to get on the scale.  I don't want to burden my husband and son... trying to be strong but I am losing it

[Mollyheart]

ok thanks everyone... got some decisions to make... thanks for the love

[Ella789]

Your Doctor is a jerk !!!!!!!   What the heck does he think he is doing ?!  No one should be treated like that.   Please, don't take his **** personaly.  He must be having a problem with the DEA or something for him to come off like that to you.   No one should be treated like that.    Meanwhile,  look for another Dr.  or decide to try a Suboxone Doctor.  Someone to help you get off the pills and see where your real pain levels are.  Cause opiates can cause pain after prolonged use.   My pain levels were so much better after I detoxed from the norcos.    Fight for your self,  you have a family to live for and I know they love you.   Don't give up on yourself, things can get better.

Ella

[nascarfan2488]

I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. I was taking 14 perks a day and went off cold turkey. I had the same feelings your having, I feel for you so much and I am here if you need to talk. Please dont feel like no one in here doesnt care. We are here because we do.
I will be praying for you.

Kim

[lilolme29]

we are all here. and we all care!

[Notsoglam]

Hey Molly
I had these same feelings u r experiencing. I have 2 boys 8 & 10 and a little girl that is 5.  I see you have a son. Isn't the love between a
mother and a son unexplainable? How about when you look into his eyes and little flashbacks of when he was a baby, nestled close to your heart, pop in your mind? Molly,
that beautiful, son you love so much it hurts, needs his mommy.

Molly tell me your fondest memory of your son?

Wait u have to hear mine... My eldest cried for 6 months straight and I never thought I could like him, much less love him. As he today, has captured an essence of my heart that he can call his very own.
My other son, is wild, free, beautiful, full of life, naughty at times but edgy with a constant smile. He brings those characteristics into my soul. Without him, I my life and our family would be ridiculously less colorful. Just writing that chokes me up.
Molly talk to me. Mom to mom... Your son needs your touch, smell, voice but most ever soooo much every child needs their mother.

Xoxo

[dominosarah]

Molly we are all here for you and we do care how you are feeling........Please talk with us and we will help you.            sara

[sid3]

I think you should go to the ER and tell them how your feeling.Sometimes we all need more help than these forums can offer.You sound very distraught. There is help just waiting for you if you'll ask for it.  Please try and eat something, it will give your brain/body the fuel it's  lacking,which is making you feel even worse.

[dominosarah]

Good point sid........

[dellta]

hey you i feel ya i quit cold turkey from perks and oxys 8 to 15 a day for over a year from a injury from the army anyway my family my freinds no one knew what was up with me and had no clue i was or im a addict not to mention i take care of a 2yr old baby on my own his mom left us when he was 6mo old and just left us knowing i was injured not working no money she left us that killed me i truley felt abandond so any way i quit cold turkey and the only person who new what was happing to me was my two yr old its been sad and very hard but im on day 20 and im feeling much better and its gettig bettter i feel for you hun i wish i could wave a magic wand and cure you but its time fror you to listen to your body its telling you to get grounded find yourself give yourself a chance to heal you owe it to your self and its not easy but listen to your body just hang in there today was a bad day but tommorow may be a good day and the next day its true its one day at a time take care of yourself you owe it to yourself for a fighting chance and we all are here for you come here 20 times if you need to just to get threw the day it will and does get better  God love you and were all here for you hang in there  

[Beccabeccalynn]

Are you around I am worried about you?