help me to find away-please

[dkwtd25]

okay so my best friend has brain cancer and is addicted pain pills. she has been through radiation and it has done nothing she is soon to go through another cycle of radiation. her pain pill addiction has been getting worse over the last couple of months. all she has been talking about is how she wants to die. and i'v been reading on addictions and thats a sign of withdraws. i need your help on how to find a way to help her to stop doing drugs. what are some things i can do???

[Ga Guy]

If she has true terminal brain cancer, then she's allowed to have anything she needs to alleviate the pain in my book. Cancer patients may very well be addicts, but she's more likely dependent on the meds for pain control. The most addictive pain meds like demerol and fentanyl are developed for the most part for terminally ill patients. Sounds like you're a caring friend, but she very well may be in this category.

[bluespence]

what makes you say she is addicted? if she has cancer then I am sure she is in a lot of pain and needs the meds. However, saying she wants to die is a sign of depression and with all she is going through I am sure she is dealing with depression. Is she in therapy? Does she have a lot of support? But to answer your question, the only way any addict will stop doing drugs is if they want to stop...you can't make her quit all you can do is express your concerns and then be there for her because it sounds like she needs a good friend!

[theeagle]

She has more to worry about than the pills.  I have a pretty poor physical situation also - and it does mess with your head a lot ... Do you know her prognosis?  I have done chemo (not radiation...) and that alone with no other complaints is really rough ... Its probably not as simple as your perception makes it ...

[Worthmorenow]

You are a caring friend, but I wouldn't think her "wanting to die" has anything to do with withdraw symptoms. Having cancer and going through cancer treatment is painful both physically and emotionally......sounds more like being tired (of being ill) and feeling hopeless. Being a cancer survivor myself (chemo and radiation) I can remember feeling both at some point. I agree with Theeagle that " she has more to worry about than the pills". Perhaps a cancer support person/group/meeting could help her cope with all the emotions she is dealing with.

[avisg]

i agree with everyone's posts above you are a wonderful friend for caring about her .She needs to get threw this right now at some other point when he is healthy or not i pain then looking into other options would be something to think about ...

[Ohnoma]

There is no such thing as addiction when you are dying. Cancer eats your body while you are still living, from the inside out. You cannot phathom the pain they are going through. The brain is the control center for your entire body. It controls your response to pain meds. If it is being ate away, how well are the meds working?

You need to stand back and take inventory of the real issues here. Your friend is suffering in an unimaginable way. You must be there for her. Offer any assistance possible. Dying people love to be touched and held. They need someone to listen.
They are suffering physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and most of all "Alone".
You cannot die for them, but you can help alleviate the pain. Make every moment count.

Wanting to die is a normal response to a death sentence that is long and drawn out. When most people get sick, they have the knowledge that they will get better. Can you imagine everyday getting sicker and sicker and sicker? Knowing it is only going to get more unbearable?
Be there and forget the medications. They will keep increasing her doses, adding more medications and maybe even a pump. The medications will not leave.
I pray for both of you.

[bionic_man]

I really wouldn't worry about your friend's addiction right now.  She needs a friend like you who is concerned for her health however brain cancer usually is terminal and your friend has every right to be addicted if it's helping her cope with her pain.  In my humble opinion, everyone has the right to want to live and to die. As we all know it will eventually happen to all of us and my hope is that when my time comes and I know there's no hope I know I will want to go and be with my Lord and put me and everyone around me at peace.  It's her right to want to die and as hard as it is on you just be there for her and let her be - I believe we all would do the same thing if we were in her shoes.

Bionic Man