help with 20 yr monkey on my back

[20yrmonkey]

Hi everyone I'm haveing real problems here I don't know if you remember or not but I posted for the first time the other day about being on Methadone for 20 yrs when i started to quit I was on 120 mg per day I  cut myself to 60mg and then to 30 then25mg then 20mgs. 4 days ago when I posted here the last time I was ready to cut myself another 5 mgs and I did By yesterday I started getting very sick when I got home from work last night I thought for sure I was going to lose it I so wanted to take a little more methadone just to take the edge off but I talked my self out of it and took 2 melatonin which is basicly a natural substance that helps with sleep disorders. When I got up this morning everypart of my body hurt and the anxity was unbearable I  took 8 mg of Methadone thinking it might be better if I took it in 2 doses  Like idid with 20 mg at first but the 8mg I took didn't do anything for me I felt better fo about 2 hours and then I was just as sick as I was this morning I think I'm going to have to try something else because now I'm so mad at myself because I couldn't take the pain and took 20mg of methadone now I'm going to have to start all over again. I don't know how slow I have to go at this point can anyone give me a Idea of what I should cut myself down to next obviously 5mg at this point is to much. I guess because at these low doses cutting yourself 5 mg is like cuting a third at a time I really need some advice and support right now And I thank you all in advance  20yr monkey

[wannabefree330]

The meetings will probably help you, but I think you are tapering too fast?  I have no experience with methadone, but it stays in your system for a VERY long time.  So at the higher doses you prob didn't notice it as much.  But now that the doses are very small, considering what you were on, it is a cummulative and hitting you all at once.  Can you possibly involve your doctor in the process?  Get their advice on a good taper regimine for you to follow?  I wish you luck, and sorry I can't be of more help.

[20yrmonkey]

I know  your right I culd probubly handle the aches and pains its that darn anxity that gets me I cant breath and I sweat can't function at all when I'm haveing an anxity attack what a horrible feeling to not be able to even breath. I have 8 2mg attivan but I want to keep those until the very end when Iam not taking anything and I need to sleep I also bought some melatonin which is just a non narcotic sleep aid  for the nights i'm haveing trouble sleeping now. I hate this I just want it to be over Iknow that will happen but I'm very impatiant I have to remember that it took 20 yrs to get like this if it takes 6months to get off the last 20 mg then so be it 6months is better than the rest of my like on meth.Thanks for the reminder I will probubly need lots of them through out this thing. Do you think I should go to a few NA or AA meeting I was wondering if it may help.
I do have a few good friend I can talk with about this but they aren't on it so they really don't understand what I'm going through  Pat

Pat

[kk143]

I totally agree with Lisa, I went down so slow it was almost silly, but now I am done and I am fine...I felt very little withdrawal symptoms...but I went down to barely anything for over 10 days at the end and I only cut 1mg at a time from about 8mgs.  I know you get so impatient and just want to get this nightmare over, but you have to give your body time to come out of this drug induced way of being...it is learning how to function again just like you ...I just got back from a methadone free weekend...the first in over 10 years so please have faith...you CAN do this...I really feel like God makes it hard to remind you of how bad you have abused your body and so you never do it again...when you get a bad craving get online and write me...I will be on all the time...I owe a lot of my success this far to these precious people who took the time to help me through this...so I would be delighted to help you as much as I can!  Remember slow and steady...you WILL feel WD's but they will be much less and it will help you get ready for the big ZERO...yeah!!!!  
Always, Karie

[sadinmichigan]

I an so sorry your going through this..the last 30-40 mg..is the hardest..you need to take it down @2 mg..every 10-14 days..with methadone..you can cut back 5 mg..and feel fine for a few days or so and then it hits you because of it's long 1/2 life..when you start methadone your body metabolizes @80%..and stays in your system 24-36 hrs..sometimes linger..so when you take your next dose you have a surplus of @ 20%..as you continue to do that the methadone steadily increases in your system until eventually it evens out..so it works the same way in reverse..please take it much slower..I have an article from a dr in my journal that has alot of great info in it.This dr. was addicted for 18 yrs. You can do this..you have been on it a long time..and like I said..the last bit is the hardest to get off of..but not impossible..you can pm me anytime..hang in there..