help!!

[angel197840]

hi everyone...happy christmas and new year!!!...well i finally bit the bullet and spoke to my doctor about  a proper detox progamme for getting off this bloody morpheine and we agreed to start a tapering reigme on new years eve... im adamant that i will not spend another xmas addicted to painkillers so fingers crossed that the next few months go smoothly...i also have the added incentive that im getting married in 16 weeks!! and i most definitly d not want to start my married life as an active addict...but..im absolutely terrified of the withdrawal,how the hell will i cope??? ... especially as im mum to 4 children who need me every minute of every day...they dont understand that mummys about to go through a living hell to get off this bloody morpheine...i have to carry on as normal for their sake and not let them see the darker side of withdrawal,i DO NOT want this to affect them at all,at the end of the day i am doing this for my children to make sure they have a mother around them as they grow up that they can be proud off and look up too....any tips on how to make the next few months easier please???

[Beccabeccalynn]

I can only echo the same as narla James and Kim . They have very down to earth advise. My DOC is crystal meth and I feel it is treated as a dirty drug, however since I live in the meth Capitol of the world or so I've been told, there are meetings and treatment specific to my DOC thank god. I told my boyfriend well he already knew even though I tried to hide it. Anyway he had been thru my detoxing before and once I even went to a detox inpatient place for four days. I don't know if you have that available to you, maybe check around.? I told my youngest son that I was ill which I was but I left it at that as I felt he was to young to understand addiction. I could feel the fear and the hope in your post. Grap onto the hope and make it work for you. Face the fear and do it anyway. Be kind to yourself I will be thinking of you
Becca

[stilltrying1965]

Also i must more then anything emphasise the emotional guilt, sadness, anger as was said above. It can become a real problem as it did with me. My wife wasn't as bad but over 200 days clean and i still suffer severe guilt as to what i done to my family etc. You may be lucky and it might not last long but please be prepared as this is a main cause of relapse to which i did due to the guilt i felt. I tried to lift my mood with cocaine and only made things 100 times worse, but with the right aftercare, if you can get it in your area. We cant in Scotland as there is nothing here on the nhs and we are treated like scum but your doctor sounds not too bad whereas mines just is not interested. I just had to say this as it is a major part of recovery and healing in us addicts. I'm not trying to scare you but sometimes fear of the unknown is worse as Amy said. Just be prepared for it and you will maybe learn to deal with it as we were not really prepared for it and it hit us like a ton of bricks, sometimes i think its worse than the physical w/ds although you don't think that at the time, but as i said i promise you life is better on the other side. You actually have a life. Good luck

[stilltrying1965]

You can do this. My wife and i smoked heroin for 13yrs and were never able to come off until my wife stumbled upon this site, which I'm sure was fate as it would have killed us in the end.Tapering wasn't an option for us it never worked so we went c/t. It was horrific, ill not lie to you and felt we were going to die. But we went toe to toe with the devil and won. If you read my journals you ll see how bad it became. But with tapering it should be easy and thank goodness your fiance wont give you any extra. But it CAN BE DONE. We have faith in you. You have your marriage to look forward too and four beautiful kids. It wont be easy, but have plenty of hot baths, showers and have a look at the thomas recipe. Make sure your stocked up with vitamins, power drinks as you need your body in good health to do this.as long as you are determined and you sound as if you are you will win this battle. But you also must be prepared for the depression that sometimes kicks in after this as our brains have to get used to producing their own feel good endorphins. Rls is a usually a big problem, one which causes a lot of relapse but with tapering it shouldn't be too bad. Make sure you have plenty of potassium, like bananas, they have a lot of it in them. I wish you the best of luck. I know you can and will do this and i promise you it will be like a different life. You can smell the grass, the flowers, taste your food better. You wont believe what you have been missing, its not until your clean than you realise what you have been missing. I promise you that. We wish you all the luck in the world and we will be thinking of you. pm anytime you want, we will help in any way we can. Good luck to you. James and Kim

[narla]

With stength and determination you can do it,Remember to keep posting on here whenever you need a boost to that strength and determination,everyone will be here for you.  Denise

[angel197840]

thankyou so much for your words off support...i am lucky because my fiance knows how badly i want to get clean and will do anything to help including hiding my prescription and only giving it to me when its due..even if i do get very ratty with him for not letting me have it early lol!!...im just terrified of going under,im terrified of the withdrawal being so bad that i actually cant cope with it...ive been through the most traumatic year of my life this year and honestly dont think i can cope with any extra stress yet i know i HAVE to get off this bloody morpheine,i just hope i have the strength to do it...I HAVE TO HAVE THE STRENGTH TO DO IT x

[Amaryllis1974]

Hi! I am in the process of tapering from 35- 40 lortabs a day. I am now at 8 per day. I took a big plunge and cut my usage in half, then went from 15 per day to the now "8".
I am a mother of 2, and I home school, so I can tell you that it IS possible. Don't let your fear of the unknown ruin your chances.
I tried for so many years to get clean for my kids, my partner, my family, etc, but found it wouldn't work until I made my mind up to do it for ME.
Make sure you don't have access to more than your daily dose, give the drugs to someone who can dose it out to you if at all possible. My boyfriend, luckily, knows of my addiction and is my "safety net". He gives me my daily dose and if I choose to take em all at once, i am accountable and can't get anymore. I have learned the hard way to take them in a manner that suits me so I don't obsess as much. The mental withdrawal can be just as bad - if not worse- than the physical.
If you wean properly, you should have little to no physical pain. I find my legs hurt a bit in the mornings, but my biggest problem is the EMOTIONAL PAIN!!! I have been thru anger sadness and elation all in the same 5 min period of time....
You can do this FOR YOU. You can do this, because you are worth it.
We have harmed ourselves long enough. Lets give our liver a chance, and our children a chance.
Much luck to you...
Amy