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hey all havent been on inna while but im havin a hard time... my fiance took a vacation with her mom to california and i guess the bordem or the freedom is settin in and all i can think about is goin to get a pack.... someone talk me out of it.....
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1198767 tn?1299636401
Ok so you don't know me but.. dominosara gave me a HUGE kick in the booty last week when I wanted to call a hookup.. so I am not gonna be real nice right now but rather direct and to the point.. please don't take it the wrong way.. but.. ok so your fiance is on a trip... if you were to meet another girl right now would you cheat on your fiance just because she's out of town?  and then HOPE she never finds out.. then a month or so later this girl you cheated with comes to you saying she's pregnant and keeping it and you then need to face being a father to a child that was concieved out of a one time horrible mistake... think about that long and hard.. now you just knew your fiance would never know... but the consequences of that one nighter has just come back to haunt you and now the fiance knows everything that went on while she was gone and now has to decide.. stay and raise a step child or leave and rid myself of this situation?  not a pretty thought is it.. if you go and use right now.. you're right she may not find out immediately but eventually she would .. cause if you are anything like the rest of us, you won't stop with just one use and then you are back at square one again and the last month or month and a half will have been for nothing... just something for you to consider...
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Avatar universal
ive been free from it since xmas and the way i had to quit it was like a girl friend that i never got to say goodbye too... i no things wil b okay if i dont use but its like i dont even trust myself...  when my fiance is around she is my strength cause i love her more than the dope but my mind keeps sayn shes gone shell never no... go dance with ur old gf...i guess im just lonely all my friends r at work which is why im on here,,, im afraid if i go anywhere alone im just gonna say **** it and make the call... will i ever be my old self again.. i put on a front with my fam and friends so they dont worry about me but i feel like im still a mess inside...
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Avatar universal
Just think back at what you had to endure to get to where you are now. You know where it will go right? You deserve better then that torture all over again. Call a buddy (a non addict of course) and go do something together. Boredom is a trigger and if you can immerse yourself in something else, anything else but heroin then the moment will pass, you will make it through and tommorow you'll say THANK GOD I didn't fall back into the ****.

There is no life for us in the pills, the heroin or anything else. Just death and destruction wait for us there. The only way to avoid that is to not take that pill or that hit. If you don't do it you know you will be fine and this moment in time will pass without consequence. You also know that if you go score you walk right back into hell again.

So stay strong and go distract yourself. If you go to NA get to a meeting asap, do whatever it takes to get your mind off it until the urge eases up. I get the idea from your post you have some clean time in. Think of the positives in your life as a result of that clean time. Think of the hell you went through to get to where you are. Dont throw it away in a moment of boredom. Your worth far more then that, what your contemplating at the moment could very well be a life and death decision. Choose life!!
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Avatar universal
i just hate lookin at the clock every few minutes... its like its calling me... i play my guitar play with the dogs clean up and then when i sit down im craving again.... if anyone would have told me this is what it would b like after using i would never have tried it...
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1202033 tn?1273771354
Oh, please don't. I know you can think of so many reasons not too, just keep talking with us here and maybe find something to do that you might enjoy. Boredom is one of the hardest things for us to contend with, because we used to use our time using. I am going through this same thing, i am day 5 of vicodins. Just keep busy, pray, talk to us anything, you can do this, you are stronger than heroin, remember that. Don't you let it win.  -----------Jacky
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Avatar universal
heroin
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1202033 tn?1273771354
a packet of what? ciggies? what are you trying to avoid? anyway, whatever it is, just keep posting here, this helps a lot, and please believe in your own strength. boredom is usually the first step towards relapse so try to find something for you to do, anything. Good Luck and God Bless-----------Jacky
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