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by icebird, Mar 11, 2009 10:54PM
im so ******,im trying and trying,its like im possessed,one more ,,just one more,,i hide it ,no one knows.but its killing me inside,,i go to work ,i do everything,,my home is flawless,everyone talk about how good i look,exept im falling apart (so skinny) im afraid im going to die or loose my mind,im trying soo hard to be the perfect housewife and hiding my **** at the same time,,i cant take this,everytime i smile and pretend im such a fff good wife and a housewife,,i want to brake in tears..and just cry,im so helpless and longly,,i dont dare tell anyone,im so ashamed,when i decide ok,,tomorrow only coffee for you girl,,i get this horrid feelings like something is wrong,,i cant relax or enjoy anything,,i JUST CANT feel like normal ,exept i have some little alch in me,what can i do ,i dont want rehab,and i dont want to tell anyone,(if youve seen despered housewifes,yes im the red haired one)im a perfectionist.but i KNOW i need help.Can i do this by myself.is there a way.?? pls anyone???
Member Comments (9)

by icebird, Mar 11, 2009 11:04PM
and by the way ,ive been using ritalin and lyrica too.but on the outside im doing really good,but i dont like this hiding game,i love my family very much,and i dont want to hurt them by telling them how i cope..they are so proud of me,but i dont know how to cope without my ,,addiction,its like everytime i try to not be on anything,im just no good !  When im using my life is perfect,exept how i feel on the inside,i smile and ,i just want to lay down and cry,and then i thought,do i want to be like i was before,and before i found out how to cope and be the perfect woman,and my thoughts simply said ,no id rather live 5 years like this than 40 like i was before (my addiction) but i want to be there when im older too,and i dont really know if i will.cus ofcourse this must be affecting my body,does anyone know what im talking about.??

by cathy5841, Mar 11, 2009 11:26PM
hi, you mentioned you lyrica and ridlin too...what else or you taking?  gotta know that to help you.  you can do it...

by icebird, Mar 11, 2009 11:38PM
i took about 100 ml ritalin 2 days ago and 400 ml lyrica and 5 pack of beers...

by icebird, Mar 11, 2009 11:41PM
im gonna try sleep,i have to work in the morning,,this is my second day clean,im just feeling realing like my heart is going to stop...am i safe ?

by cathy5841, Mar 11, 2009 11:46PM
i have never taken ritalin or lyrica and i dont drink..lol...i know i am not much help for ya.  i did take adderall (adderrall) but i was not addicted to it...i just quit...maybe someone will be along that can help you..its late and  not many ppl are on...check back in the morning.

by icebird, Mar 11, 2009 11:57PM
i will,,my heart is just realy weird,,thank you though..

by dominosarah, Mar 12, 2009 12:15AM
If you are feeling really funny dont be afraid to go to the ER......better to be safe than sorry.           sara

by scaredmom330, Mar 12, 2009 05:51AM
were you prscribed the ritalin and lyrica? that is alot of meds to mix with that much beer.  I agree with Dominosarah you might go to the ER.  good luck

by helpjen, Mar 12, 2009 06:31AM
To: Heart and ER
If you are really experiencing chest pain, go to the ER and get checked out. You can't tell the difference between heart palpatations from withdrawals and an actualy heart attack.  You could die.  My thoughts are with you!
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