how long before I feel normal after years of opiate use

[omkd777]

I had been using pain medication to combat chronic back issues for over 22 years.  I started with 5mg Vicoprofen (15 mg per day) then went to 10 mg Percocet (30mg per day) then 15 mg Roxicodone (60 mg per day) then 30 mg Roxicodone (120 mg per day) and finally 60 mg Roxicodone (180 mg per day).  Yes, they were making Roxy 60's at one time.  I would often buy on the street and do up to 360 mgs per day.  At one juncture I ran out of my script 5 days before refill and did not have enough money to buy on the street.  I went through 2 and 1/2 days of withdrawal before going to my pain management doctor for a suboxone prescription.  

I was on suboxone for almost 8 months and then got off.  I stayed off controlled substances for almost two years.  I got back on them for several years, with the last script being 30 mg oxycodone (90 mg per day) prescribed.  The last week I was snorting (had been for a year) 120 to 150 mgs per day.  My life had been a mess for several years.  I was a recluse with no energy to do anything but the mandatory.  I had been to psychologists, psychiatrists, neurosurgeons and pain management doctors.  I described my symptoms to all of them.  Not one put two and two together.  They all thought I suffered from general anxiety disorder and extreme anxiety.  Synthetic opium addiction was not in their collective vocabulary.  I finally found a chiropractor who was also an addictionologist.  He enlightened me to my malady.

I have been clean for almost 50 days now.  80% of the time I feel like doing nothing.  I feel extreme malaise, depression and boredom.  At times it is almost unbearable.  I feel like I can not go on.  The fear of God is the only thing keeping me alive.  I have gone to a few message boards to glean helpful information.  Almost to a person, physical activity/exercise is advocated.  I lift light weights and walk.  Sometimes I get to the end of the driveway for a walk and have to turn back.  I just don't have the energy.  If I force myself to walk or lift, the effect is that I feel worse than prior to the activity.  My regimen is not very strenuous because of severe low and upper chronic back pain.  That being the case, why do I feel like dog vomit after I exercise?  Can anyone out there help me with the following:

1). How long should I expect to feel crap?

2). What can I do to mitigate the effects of two decades worth of pain med addiction ?  

James

[omkd777]

Thanks VICourageous for your reply.  Frustration has definitely set in.  I realize that I must be patient, but one to two years worth of discomfort before I get back to normal? At this juncture, I am not well enough to get a job.  I can't concentrate long enough or feel well enough to handle employment in any capacity.    

[VICourageous]

Well???? That was a alot of drugs for a long time. I am in the same boat as a long time user, I find it a bit harder to bounce back as I would think in almost a Year. OH! Do not get me wrong it is WAY better then it was. I had to PM someone on here today to see if this was normal in this time frame..For most it was. When I talk to my Dr and had to see a psychologist once about 9 months ago they both told me because of my Drug use most of my Life off and on that it could take a year or two to balance back the Brain chems and such. I have found that it is like we go through stages. Each day brings on a new day and each month we pass a new stage. Now that does not mean that WE all do this. I just know the ones I keep in touch with and how they felt or still do feel.
I would just say to give it Time and the healing will continue. Meanwhile make sure yo are doing vit/min, water,healthy food and maybe small walks or whatever you can do..Just take the baby steps and try not to get to frustrated about wanting to do it all right now. That is the stage I am at now.
As far as keeping my head High and not giving in, I had to do a whole new life change and accept things as they are right now..I go to both AA/NA and have tons of family support. So I do wish you all the best and just bite your tongue and tighten that fist and except the ride as it will pass. Keep your Faith up big Time.
Bless