how much usage to get addicted

[brimat]

I have been taking 10 to 15mg of percocet a day for about 12 days now to relieve pain from an injury.  I know it is different for everyone, but does anyone know about how much usage of this type of drug it would take to get addicted to it.  Thank you

[tlk]

If you continue for much longer at that dose, even if you are not addicted you will likely suffer withdrawal symptoms, which can send just about anyone back for another pill to make them go away. The withdrawal can be as bad as the original pain. So make sure you are working with your doctor to taper down. I used off and on for many years without problem, but once started on a daily dose after a few weeks I had very bad W/Ds when I ran out. Good luck.

[angst]

How goes it this morning?  I've got to get out to the shipyard in less than 2 hours this morning.  It  will not take me a long time to get ready.  My fingernails are really long.  At least 3 curl to the side, although I keep them filed.  Maybe I should cut them before I go to the shipyard.  I'll be dressing much like the others who are men.  It will not be a delicate or femine job.  However, it will be a challenge.  I need work that pays good even if it means taking a man's job.  Wish me luck.

[oxyaddict]

Good Luck with the Job

[hippy]

don't forget work boots,i think tou have to have them to work in a ship yard , i worked on the saratogo years ago.

[angst]

Yeah, I have to have steel toed boots, jeans, and mostly tee shirts.  I have to buy XXL tee shirts to hide my endowance.

[tlk]

You sound good, and good luck. I've never even been to a shipyard, but it sounds like interesting work, good clean labor! Is this full time?
I've been going nuts, my kids have been sick and my husband had the laptop the last few days so I couldn't even escape into cyperjunk. I think my house has mold as my oldest daughter and I are both getting daily headaches.
Will you be at work all day? You should cut those nails before one gets pulled off and really hurts! tlk

[angst]

I will cut my nails.  My  hands are just like my mother's were.
I doubt it will be good clean work.  It will probably be more like hard, sweaty with lots of dirt work.  But my grandma always said a job is a good one if you give it all you got.  She did not mean laying on your back either.  I will be one of a very few women pipe fitting.  I'm strong from years of lifting patients and maintaining my acre of god's country.  I can do it.
Check out the mold.  Get a good antihistamine.  The new ones are expensive.  Good luck with that one.  It is so humid here on the gulf coast.  But it is salt water.  It makes a difference some how.

[dive]

Addiction and physical dependance are two different but intertwined things.  You can be physically dependant on a substance, but not addicted to it.  If for example you take your percocet as perscribed and when you stop you have chills, sweats, diarhea (diarrhea) for a few days but never go back to the pills, that was dependance.  If you keep taking the percocets because you like how they make you feel after the pain is gone, then that is addiction.  A fine line to cross, but easily done.  

Are you taking them for the "feeling" or to prevent the pain?  Ask yourself this and the answer will tell you if you are addicted or not.

[tlk]

Well, good dirty work is better than no work, huh? Actually I think that sounds great. I'm thinking about looking for a different line of work myself. My husband keeps telling me to go work for a corporation doing PR (I did it for police agencies for the last 5 years) because I could make a lot, probably double, the money. But it's this spiritual thing, I hate commercial work, it kills me. I did that prior to going into public service. I was miserable. Of course the stress of my last jobs probably pushed me over the edge with my using (it was a short push though, I have to admit). That's why I was so interested in what you're doing; I think physical labor would be great! I am tired of working around a bunch of men, though, especially cops who can be real pains. I love the guys as friends, but they hit on you constantly. Sorry for digressing.
Good luck, you will do great! Just don't hurt yourself. And don't take any **** from anyone!
The weather here is soooo hot, in the mid-90s, and the city is covered with haze and smog from the agriculture burns in Mexico right now. Everyone is sick. It lasts a good month.
I hope everyone is having a good day. I just had to call all my bill collectors and beg not to shut off my utilities. But at least I did call; when I was using I just ignored that stuff and let it happen.

[skipper]

angst:
good luck at the shipyards. give it what it's worth and chanes
are good it will work out. BE CAREFUL. this is coming from a per-
son who collected workman's comp. for 29 months! it just wasn't
a very good few days off!

keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[tlk]

Ketta, if you're out there, can you email me at ***@****? Wanted to see if we do live near each other, ask about some meetings, chat. Thanks, tracy/tlk

[tlk]

Hello, is anyone around? I'm having another very low energy day. I'm taking the multi-vit but can barely drag myself around. Shouldn't it be better by now? I'v been off the vics for one month today. I need to clean my house but am having a hard time walking from room to room, It's almost as bad as the early days. tlk

[GOD]

Just gotta' say something to all you good people!

As many of you know, I've been posting here for a good bit of time, and the original reason I came here was to get info about ULTRAM.... Because I'm a recovering Alcoholic, no doctor in thier right mind was going to precribe me ANY type of narcotic for pain, so I ended up with a presciption for ULTRAM to control some VERY PAINFUL peripheral neuropathy (caused by my inhuman ability to consume vast quantities of vodka)..

Anyway, it all started out nicely with the ULTRAM working very well for pain, and I didn't get "High", so what was the problem?  Well, in the course of 4 months, I went from 3-6 50 milligram tabs per day to a high of almost 40 per day. YES FORTY. Although I never got HIGH, my body chemistry required MORE and MORE to be free of pain. Now I've gone the last 3 days with only 2 tabs at night, so I can reduce the pain enough to get al least 4 good hours of sleep in. I've come to the conclusion that I'm just going to have to live with some amount of pain, and that is just the way it is. I've finally stopped feeling sorry for myself, and am just learning to live with "it"..  I guess It did me a world of good to do some research into how the rest of the world lives to realize that I'm really not that bad off.

Some of you may have seen me posting a few days ago that I'd gotten my hands on some OXY, and wanted to try it since it seems to be all the rage.... I found out that 80 MGs didn't even really effect me, and I wanted to know WHY...

I talked to a couple Doctors [addiction specialists] and found some very interesting info:

I was taking, as I said before, up to 2000 milligrams of tramadol for about the last 2 weeks of the heavy ultram use... that is the equivalent of 600-1000 Mgs of OXYCODONE (to your brain) -- what it all boils down to is that I would need to consume a whoppping 400 or more milligrams of OXY to get a decent buzz. In other words, I have made it virtually impossible for myself to ever become a good OXY junkie barring becoming a millionaire to support what I would need for a habit. I guess that's a good thing... but, If I ever need morphine or something for Legitimate pain control after a car wreck or something, the only way I'm going to get enough to not be in hell is to tell the ER docs that I'm a herione addict in order to get enough poppy juice flowing through my viens.

That's my 2 cents for today!
Jess

[hippy]

i have 26 days off the vikes , also im taking the receipe
and my energy is good, I must say that i am suffering
from a the feeling of being over whelmed,.
I try to just ignore it and keep moving in the right direction.
It seem's like eating and sleeping like a normal person are so important. If i don't eat right i get very weak and if i don't get the right sleep i get stressed out to the max.
Pasta is a food that gives you energy the next day,
well i hope you feel better with the energy level,
Getting up and doing something is important, Just doing nothing seems to make it worse for me,
Enjoy the day as best you can, maybe a hot bath would help?
I know what your going through in any event and it is hard to deal with , but it will pass. Just keep trying different things and keep posting. I know the thought of staying clean and getting
to point a where i wake up and feel normal is very attractive to me. like a deream that will be coming true for us as we continue on this rocky road. I know this is true because i have been there,and living that clean life is the best high in the world.

peace

[GOD]

Hi!

Where are you lurking today, oh SKIP?

I'll mail you!

Jess

[tlk]

Thanks Hippy, I'm trying part of the recipe but not the L-tyr. I am on celexa, though. I did force myself to clean the house, did it top to bottom too. I still don't feel great, but at least I got something accomplished! I won't allow myself to lay around doing nothing or watching TV, because I did that for two years (when I wasn't working insane hours) while on the viks. My kids deserve to have me "present." I want to run but the heat and smog is so bad here, plus I'm getting daily migraines (it's coming on now) so that puts a crimp in things. Just have to remind myself there will be good and bad days...

Does anyone know when we will truly feel "normal" again? Right now is a VAST improvement over a month ago when I started this fight, but I sure would like to have my life back. Funny, it takes no time at all to get hooked, and forever to get unhooked. Cruel joke of nature, I guess.

Thanks again!
tlk

[Witchywoman]

It took me about a month total off the hydro before I felt normal, but we all have different systems. I'm guessing you will start to feel progressively better day by day at this point.

I sure hope so anyway! I'm impressed with your persistance.

take care!
love,
WW

[tlk]

Thanks ww. If I could get rid of the headaches I think I would be much more energetic! How are you doing? tlk

[Witchywoman]

I'm doing pretty well these days.  I have the back pain, that's just always going to be there, but haven't had any migraines in a month or so (knocking on wood).

I had some Dragon Whispers last night (cravings), but they weren't too bad, and I had a tool box full of helpful ways to handle them, thanks to this forum and all the wonderful people I've met.  The cravings, they come, they go, but I get to choose how I handle them. I'm kinda figuring at this point that I don't have any power over the fact that I am an addict and will from time to time probably get cravings, but I have a lot of power over how I choose to handle it.  And right now, I still choose freedom over slavery. I know that picking up just one pill means that one pill would eventually be followed by thousands.  Not the path for me anymore!

thanks for asking..I appreciate it.  
love,
WW

[Hinkster]

Angst,
  Its about 7pm here in the East. That means you should be home
from the shipyards by know. How did it go? I think you might
have mentioned a site about methadone. I can't find it. If you
get a chance will you repost it? Thanks
Tom

[groovygirl]

i mentioned one - atwatchdog.org

[tlk]

WW, I loved your response, that we can't control the cravings but we can control our response to them. I will remember that, and is actually what I did when they hit me the other day; I just distracted myself until it passed.
I hope you feel better and thanks for writing.

Angst, how was work today? Hope you enjoyed it. tlk

[Hinkster]

Thanks. I just spent about an hour there. Very helpful.

[oh please already]

please do be careful,im not going to give you the talk about not using BUT do not be fooled when you make these drug conversion,this is why people are dying with the oxycontin.YEAH,YEAH ,YEAH,ive read the conversion chart too.but remember the time when all of a sudden you got a great buzz with just a few pills? out of the blue? It was kinda funny cause it kicked your ass,(How we used to think)with oxycotin the same thing could creep up on you and begin time released you could just doze to death-even crushing,your proably gonna get a small dump unless you break all the time release agents down.so PLEASE WATCH OUT plus your tolerance does reset to a certain degree after you lower or quit your dose so you might get caught surpised.SO AGAIN PLEASE DONT ASSUME THE DOSE CONVERSION WILL BE TRUE-its not exact,you might take something like a allergy pill and get a reaction.,boost the effects into the danger zone.  Ill shut up now but BE CAREFUL!

[oh please already]

How was your day? you quiet.   :)

[scared in so cal]

Thanks for your response further down in the postings. I'm glad to hear that you've been off the vics for a month now. I've only been able to go a couple of weeks without them ever since this roller coaster ride began. I've been doing a lot of thinking these past few days and I really think I'm going to stop soon. Just the fact that I cancelled my dr's appt this weekend amazes me. I think I really want to have a clear head again. I want to have real feelings again.

[GOD]

Hi!

Thanks for your concern.... But, don't worry about me. I will definately NOT be taking any OXY. After I took 80 Mgs, and got nothing for it, I realized that I can never use again with a tolerance that high; because I know that if I took enough to feel good, I could probably go into a coma! It was that way when I used to drink.. I got to the point where I had to drink a whole bottle of vodka just to feel normal, and ANOTHER to get a good drunk buzz. One of my friends is a cop, and he has one of those portable breathalyzers that He keeps handy if he has a football party. One time I was at one of his parties, and I thought I felt pretty good to drive, so I asked him If I could blow in it to see what my blood alcohol content was... WELL, it was .395! That is comatose in someone who drinks "Responsibly"-- He couldn't beleive it, and neither could I... I actually PASSED some feild sobriety tests that he wanted to try on me. Imagine that!

Anyhow, Thanks again-- I'm glad that you care!
Also, I'm glad that you're feeling/doing so much better.. I've been watching your posts since you first came here, and you've really grown. I always like to see people working to get "Well" here, and it seems like you are on the right path!

See ya,
Jess

[GOD]

Hey......

We're all DYING to know........

How did the Shipyard go?
Did they work you to and Fro?
Were you working in the air?
Were you working over there?
Did they work you on the docks?
Did they make you wear black socks?
Were you working 'till you hurt?
Did you drink any diet squirt?

O.K. enough of Suess for now. You get the picture. We are a bunch of bored addicts tonight, and need to hear about it all; so do us all a favor and wite out a big, long post and describe everything... even the boring stuff.

Thanks,
Jess

[slant4]

This is how dependency and addiction was explained to me. Being dependent on a drug is taking the recommended dosage, and it does its job.  Addiction means you have to keep raising the dosage because of your tolerence level.  I am not a doctor, but that's how my addiction doctor explained it to me.

[oh please already]

tolerance is when*you injest any chemical,manmade or natural which alters your body chemistry in such a way you body now needs that chemical to function.Period.Your body begin the amasing machine it is ,will adjust to that same chemical and assimilate it requireing more and more of the chemical to get the same inital effect(like  the borg from star trek,it literaly becomes part of your chemical stucture,replacing or reducing a chemical your body was already making.Addiction is when you say f87k it, i like the way this makes me feel and seek more of the chemical,doing what ever you have to to get the drug,putting aside real obligations aside or ignoring them all together. ***   you can  and will develope a tolerance to the chemical even if you do not abuse it,because your body is amasing and does it without youe conscience desire or knowledge.that does not make you an addict.

[mrmichael67]

I agree with Meagain.  Addiction is a behaivior also.  Tolerance develops over time with opioids, just a nature of the beast.  A person can be taking their meds as prescribed, but they start to not work as well.  Their body has built up a tolerance to the analgesic effect of the drug.  Has nothing to do with addiction.  Same tolerance builds up to the euphoric effects also.  Addiction is when the person obsesses obtainment of the drug despite the consequenses of its use.  A lot of people who have chronic pain and are on opioids develop a tolerance to their meds and require a dosage increase.  That doesn't make them addicts.  They are physically dependent and tolerant.  That addiction doc should realize that it is more effective treating someone when he isn't smoking crack.  Seriously though, I don't care if the guy is a doctor or not, his info is wrong.

[Nanno]

Has anyone heard of patients becoming addicted to the Duragesic Fentanyl patch?  I understand the difference between addiction and dependence.  My mother has been using the patch every three days as prescribed for about 8 months, and while she says it works great, I am concerned that she will become addicted to the patches.  I am glad she didn't like the pills (stigma), but has anyone heard of anybody becoming ADDICTED to the patches?

[FinallyLiving]

How are you!!!? I've been worried about you. I hope all is well. How many days is it now?

hugs and prayers!

-Me

[tlk]

Scared, thanks, I appreciate your response. You sound like you are on the right track. You are ready to quit, but afraid to because once you do, you think you can never get that feeling again. That's something we all have to come to terms with on our own. If you are truly ready to detox, see an addiction specialist to help you through it.

This might be controversial and it's not something I did personally, but my doctor offers an at-home, mini-rapid detox where he sedates you (not with general anethesia, just visterol or something similar) and then gives you naltrexone to detox you; apparently this is an antagonist that detoxes you much faster. It takes a day or two, but then you are through it. He gives you some other stuff to help if you have any lingering symptoms. Then he will insert pellets (or something like that) of naltrexone. This blocks the effects of any opiates if you do use again, so it's a deterrent. It's also available in pill form.

I hope this doesn't open a can of worms. It's just another option. If I could have afforded it I would have done the rapid, but I don't know about the naltrexone. I want to try to handle this on my own. So far, so good.

Nan, sounds like she is certainly dependent on the patch, but that is nothing to be ashamed of; it's just a physiological fact. I have heard of people overdosing on it when they somehow get the med out of the patch and take it all at once. Doesn't sound like you need to worry in that respect. She will need to be tapered if she ever gets off, or she will go through withdrawals. I was on the patch for about a week but hated the way it made me feel, so went back to my norcos. Of course I had to see how I would feel if I wore two at once, but that's because I'm an addict.

About the Oxy not giving a buzz -- that's a good thing. Percs never did a thing for me unless I took a whole, whole lot. Since Oxy is, I think, the same med, it didn't do anything for me except take away the pain; no buzz. I think we all have a favored drug, but I wouldn't want to experiment with any of them because I'd be right back where I am. I would just be thankful you didn't enjoy it and stay clean. Good luck.

[angst]

I need to take one class that will start mid May before I get started.  They will pay me once I start to school.  It sounds like a physical job, but I have to be able to read blueprints.  Who knows?  I have not had to do detailed following of blueprints to know what size pipes they want at what place on the ship.  We build destoyers and smaller ships for the US and other countries.  The weather here is hottest in August, and early September.  I can't wait to get started down in one of those big hulls with lots of copper piping.  
Thanks for asking.  I'll still be here, posting.  The methadone and benzo will not keep me out.  They are doctor prescribed.  Most companies do not mind methadone, because they know while you are on it, you cannot get high on anything.  Hey, I've been told you can on oxy's, but I ain't running out to see if it is the truth.  I have enough to think about without another habit.
What would I do if I messed up on methadone?

[tlk]

Glad to hear you are well. Sounds like you have a very interesting new career ahead of you, and you're right on track mentally. It will be a ***** in August, I can imagine. BTW, how many benzos do you have to take? Is it regular, or just when you have a flare of your asthma? I hope you're feeling well. tlk

[angst]

i grew up in a war zone. my father was bipolar, alcoholic-from 6 am til whenever he slept, sometimes he did not sleep, and addict.
he would get manic and beat us, but worse he put a knife to my throat at 7 years old.  he also shot at us when we would run away to the woods to evade him.  i was in fight or flight from birth to 12 years old.  that kind of abuse makes your brain form differently than others.  at 14 years, the anxiety and wish to die began.  our family doctor placed me on ativan.  i've been on a benzo every since, except when i was pregnant with isabel, my daughter.  she is the only child i have, because i had severe endometriosis.  my mother also took a drug for nausea when she was pregnant with me that causes my reproductive system to fail me.  i've had 2 abdominal surgeries and 2 more less invasive.  mother also took valium her entire pregnancy with me.  it has only been in the last year, due to the nursing board, that i've ever tried to get off the benzo's.  the asthma adds to the need for benzo's because i get quiet upset when i cannot get any air.
my internist has me on a therapeutic dose, and he wants to keep me there.  i agree with him.  when i was in rehab, i had an anterior infarct, heart attack.  even though they put me through a slow phenobarb detox, it did nothing for my heart.  i've always had a functional murmur.
i've taken every benzo except valium.  at one rehab, they tried a valium detox.  it bottomed out my mood.  i was ready to jump off the roof top.
i am on xanax right now.  it has a bad rap, but i have no trouble sticking to my dose.  yesterday, i only took 2 2mg when my prescribed dose is 2mg qid (4 times a day).  how are you?

[tlk]

I'm good. I'm sorry to hear about your childhood. That's awful, and I certainly understand how that would cause long-term anxiety. Mine was bad but not nearly that. I remember hiding in the bathtub to escape because I couldn't stand hearing my mom and sisters screaming at each other, calling each other whores, the police coming, the fights. I rarely think of that stuff anymore but I'm sure it's what caused me to avoid confrontations like the plague.
I too have endo, as I'm sure I've told you. I was lucky to have my three girls. I hope to provide them a stable childhood; I'm trying my best.
I took Xanax 1mg 3/day for a few weeks for severe panic attacks. I too had no problem quitting when that episode subsided. It really helped. I found if I took it when I wasn't really anxious it just made me sleepy. But people said I seemed drugged, I was slurring my words, couldn't drive, etc. So I quit and was okay. I try to talk myself out of panic attacks now when I feel them coming, which is about once a week. We are thinking about moving to a different town, as things have gotten bad here.
I think it's great that you've found something that works for you. Your health is more important than a licensure board (easy to say, I know). I'm struggling with wanting to quit my seizure meds; I really don't think I need it, but I'm afraid I'll have a seizure while driving with my kids. I guess I'll wait till my EEG and see if I can talk the doctor into it. tlk

[angst]

from what i have read, you are doing well.  don't be in such a hurry about your anticonvulsants.  my sister is epileptic.  my father hit her when she was 4 years old, she had the red measles, and she hit her head hard on a table.  she developed encephalitis which turned to epilepsy.  she is 6 years  older than me.  i had to watch after her growing up.  i've seen her go through some terrible grandmals.  she is having trouble with her meds right now.  she never follows directions and takes too much, runs out too soon, and makes her neurologist upset.
she also does things to lower her threshold.  she will smoke pot and drink daily.  she loves those over the counter speed pills.
i've told her ephedra is so much like pseudoepidrine which she also likes.  that will bring on a seizure quicker than drinking.
pot also brings on her seizures.  she has a low IQ due to the phenobarb/dilantin that she took for 30 years.  she is now on tegretol and klonopin.  the doctor prescribed neurotin also, but i had to call him. i told him she could not afford it without insurance.  so it did no good to prescribe it.  she could not take it.  she will do what she wants.  what she lacks in IQ she more than makes up in manipulation.  i love her though.

[scared in so cal]

Thanks for your suggestions and I would be inclined to go to my addiction doctor but I'm really not having bad withdrawls for once. I think with all the dr hopping I was doing the past couple of months, I would have a few days in between scripts where I wouldn't have anything. This is the only reason I can think of why I wouldn't be having withdrawls.

I'm still terrified that my medical insurance is going to catch on that I was dr hopping. I still have many outstanding bills to be processed by my insurance. What if life comes and slaps me in the face when I'm trying to get my act together? Something else too, one of my drs. suggested I have MRI to find out the cause of my back pain, well I just found out that I have a slipped disk and he wants me to come in for another test. This means more office visits and I can't ignore this, but I'm still afraid of what my insurance is going to do. I hope I don't sound paranoid to everyone, but I've been having trouble sleeping at night because of this. I feel like even though I've stopped, it still may catch up with me.

[Nanno]

Thanks a lot for your response.  I appreciate the reassurance about the fentanyl patch.  I called a college friend in the DEA today to ask if she was at risk for someone jumping her on the way home from the pharmacy, and he said probably not as there was no street value to the med.  He said the patch generally didn't lead to addiction (dependence definitely) like pills.  Not sure why.  

I've read every posting on the board I could access, and am deeply moved by the struggle so many of those posting go through every day.  You ALL are champions in my book.  The way in which you huddle around one another is inspiring and I thank God (or who/whatever) there are boards like this for those fighting the daily fight.  My war is with chronic depression.  May we all overcome our struggles!

Take care.

[groovygirl]

i know what you mean about dr. hopping....i am scared too, even tho it has been a few months since i've done that.  you've stopped, so if they ever do come knocking at your door, you can at least have that to stand behind.  another thing you might do, is to call your docs and pharmacy and tell them you have a problem with opiates....that is what i did, so i would have nothing to fall back on...no docs to prescribe and no pharmacy to fill them.

[tlk]

Angst -- Thanks for the support. I'm sorry about your sister. I've only had two seizures but they were both within the past 11 months and both were grand mals. But I really hate taking these anticonvulsants, they mess with my mind and body. Or maybe that's just the recovery still, who knows? I hate that your sister has to go through that still. I have some friends who I've tried to help and actually change before I had to admit to myself I couldn't "save" everyone (and certainly not myself!) and can only be there for them. Sounds like you are certainly there for her.

This isn't really a question, just venting. I'm having cravings today, they've been getting more frequent for the past week. I'll be driving my kids to school and bam, I think of how every morning on the way to work I'd reach in my purse and take my second dose of the day, and how I loved that feeling of knowing I was about to get a buzz. Or I'll feel depressed and it hits me again like a rocket that I'd feel better, at least for a while, if I could just take a few pills.

I haven't given in and I don't plan to. But I feel like a fraud for even having these feelings. I won't act on them, couldn't even if I wanted to as I don't have access, but I sure wish I wouldn't even have them. Should I just accept that this will be part of my life and I need to accept that I will fight this fight for the rest of my life? I really need to get the NA book and read up on this.

Scared -- After I quit using I was plagued constantly with thoughts of all the horrible things I had done coming back to bite me. Still am, but it gets better. As a former law enforcement person, I can tell you it is highly unlikely you will get in trouble at this point if you are not currently still doctor shopping. Dr shopping is very hard to prove anyway, because many people do in fact go to several doctors looking for relief. If it does come back on you and it's clear you're busted, I would be honest and say you were in pain and it led to your addiction, but you are clean now and seeking help. Go to NA meetings. Most cops aren't out to bust you for this if you aren't dealing and are in fact getting help. (Except where I live, where we have a reputation for the toughest county in Texas, which is saying something). Don't stress over it or you will send yourself back to where you were. We all did things that we are ashamed of or that could get us in trouble. You are in control of your life now and hopefully getting past all that.
The only time we busted people for prescription drug abuse was when they forged a script (very frequent) or were in possession of scripts that belonged to someone else. Still, I would certainly not do any of your hopping again, and come clean with your doctors so you aren't tempted. If you are honest with them now, chances are they won't feel the need to turn you in if things come back on you. Good luck. tlk

[Witchywoman]

You wrote that you feel like a fraud for even having those strong cravings.

Guess what? Your are not a fraud. You are a normal addict, just like the rest of us. Cravings are totally normal and expected. I don't know of a single addict, recovering or still using, that doesn't experience cravings. It doesn't at all mean that you are a fraud! I means you are experiencing a normal part of recovery.
Just remember, you can't control whether or not you get cravings, but you have tons of choices as to how you respond to the cravings.

It is the Dragon's way of trying to reassert itself.  In the very early stages of recovery, the old patterns start doing all they can to get you to keep them alive. The Dragon roars, tempts, seduces, whispers...it does all it can to bring you back into its lair.  It is very hard to battle. Way harder than withdrawals, and it is the easiest time to relapse.

What I found helped with this, and still does, is to talk to someone about it, write about it here all you need to..just get it out.  Again, Honesty about it is what takes the power away from the Dragon. Refocus your attention elsewhere. Read inspirational books. I highly recommend a book called "The Four Agreements" by Miguel Ruiz, but there are a zillion others out there that can help keep your mind on a positive track.

This is also where 12 meetings can help, if you like them.
Also, check out the SMART recovery website. Smartrecovery.com or org I think it is. They have a very rational approach to recovery that works for some folks. They are a bit too regimeted for me, but I've definately gotten some good tips from them on how to handle cravings.

love,
WW

[tlk]

Thanks again WW; you have been so good, so much help, to me. I've found that I'm not the same person I was when I was using, but I'm also not the same person I was before. I was self-destructive even back then. And now I'm finally being honest with myself and those around me. I can't BS anymore, and I was a pretty world-class BSer. That was actually my job, to BS the media and make the SO and PD look good. But I carried it over into other areas of my life, and my husband and I grew very far apart. I'm even arguing with him differently. I won't let us fall back into those old patterns; instead I'm very honest about what I feel and what I've done. In that respect, I like myself very much more than I did.
At the same time I feel that I'm not really ready to get back into "the real world." I can talk to my family, but not my friends because they expect that old, fun me and I'm not that person right now. Maybe eventually I will become more so, but certainly never to the extent that I was when I was high. I was so much fun I couldn't get people out of my office at times. That's not a brag, it was all just an act and the pills. It wasn't me. I do care deeply about people and want to help them, but I have to help myself now. I'm rambling again but I wanted to really thank you. I am going to save that post and look back on it when things get tough. I was afraid to even admit here that I have cravings. It feels better to know it's normal. Why would I crave something so destructive? I read something that said everyone has natural ups and downs, and most people just roll with them. Addicts, however, try to control them by using, and for a time it works. After that we are always searching for that perfect state again, but it just doesn't exist. Our normal then feels excrutiating and we use more to escape that; it's a vicious cycle. I'm trying to get back to normal and accept it; more than that, I want to enjoy it. Thanks again, you really help me out.

[angst]

At times, even on the methadone, I have cravings and using dreams.  I do not consider that a lack of strength or honesty.
I could go up on my dose of methadone, but I'm acting on these feeling of inadequacy.  I remind myself what I have to lose.  I also remember my next to last relapse, when I went crazy.
I though I was  playing with monopoly and in a months time, $2500 went out of our bank account.  Michael knew it was me.  He gave me tough love.  I really needed that, not someone who would tell me it would be okay,  I had spent the bills and grocery money.  My daughter asked me why I spent the grocery money.  He went to his parents who gave him money to undo the financial damage.  It is the other damage that is difficult to mend.  I work on it daily.  

I was agravated yesterday.  I also was depressed.  May is not my best month.

Hope you are doing better.  If you stick to your plan, you will feel better.  Stay on your anticonvulsants.

[tlk]

I'm sorry you've been depressed and agitated. My moods are all over the place right now, often in one day. I just started the L-Tyr so I hope that will help. I'm staying on the anti-convulsant for now, but I really do hate it.
So even with the meth you have cravings? What does it do, help with that aspect, pain, or both? I'm not very familiar with meth. Do you still feel like you're in a fog while on it?
I'm not planning to go to that, as I was only on hydros at the end, but I'm glad it's working for you. I just have to get used to life in a different way. I'm trying....
I hope everyone is having a good day. Keep us posted on the job.

[dive]

Sorry I haven't posted lately I've been really busy. It has been 1 month and 1 day so far.  I'm doing great.  I will check in more often but I have to get back to work now...

[angst]

i use it for addiction purposes.  when i had surgery in march and april, i went up on my dose to 90 mg.  i am not sedated at this dose.  i was out of trazadone when i had the using dream. trazadone in a helicyclic antidepressant with sedating qualities at the right dose.  it is not addictive, so the doctors give it to me for sleep.  i've always been an insomniac.  some of my best art work is done at 3am.
i can increase my dose.  i just know the higher i go the harder the detox will be.  i've been on 100mg before.  all i have to do is talk to my counsellor.
as far as chronic pain goes, i know some who come to the clinic for that reason.  but most chronic painers now go through the pain doctors.  they are more knowledgable regarding that.  it is a strong opiate antagonist, so it would only make since that it works for chronic pain.  
i'm finally going to hit the country club today.  Gotta go  before isabel kills me.

[oh please already]

I just wanna share astrange day i had todayMy husband rob got laied off last week so we are having a little trouble making ends meet right now so I thought that i would go apply for food stamps.Well after 6 hours and alot of really rude people i found out that his unemploment is 5 dollors to much.Tottally anoyed by my day ,a young man came up to me and bummed a cigerrete,I gave it to him,he was pleasnt and sweet but looked kinda scary,head shaved,tatoos,percings,not the boy next store if you know what i mean.In my area we are having bad wind stomes right now and begin surrounded by sand its like walking in a sand blaster so when he asked for a ride i said ok.We got in the car and started bsing and i found out hes recovered from alot of drugs and booze.He had nothing,his shoes were all tattered,shirt ripped and faded,just nothing .And then he told me i was driving him to his sober house and how wonderful life was.He didnt care about everthing he lost he was just so high on begin sober-i had to smile.I want that!that is what I want!sometimes late at night i watch those reliogus shows and i used to laugh and say what assholes.and now i watch and say I want that!Thank is what i want! to find something that gives my inner soul joy and conentment and peace.I was the ******* for laughing.now i am the jealous one.Even though the man i met today had no teeth left she was tryly joyful that he could still eat a orange.I want that self happiness               anyway the day was good brcause of this boy.he made me smile and actully laugh outloud         I want to know what they know.

[tex3]

Hi everyone. This is tlk. I got a new computer and new Internet service and couldn't remember my old password, so signed up again. Anyway now I am "tex3".
Me, that's a great story. I hope we can all take inspiration from it. I have noticed it's been really quiet here. What's going on? Maybe it's just the weekend. I'm around if anyone wants to chat.

[Hinkster]

Hi old tlk. Hmm tex3 does that mean you're from Texas? If so I've
been there once for basic training. I've never been able to get
in the chat room maybe it doesn't work. Its been extremely quiet
all day. I've been here at work since 6:30am and havn't seen much.
Tom

[groovygirl]

what exactly do you mean when you say you can't get into the chat room?  what happens when you go there?  i have been there many times only to find myself all alone:(  basically, you just click on "chat" at the top of the page, click "i agree" (to the rules), put in your login name (hinkster), and you are good to go.  a lot of people seem to have a problem getting in there...try again ok?  i'd love to "chat" with you...i am logged in right now, and i'll just keep the window open for awhile and see if anyone shows up?

[mrmichael67]

Methadone is a strong opiate agonist, not antagonist.  It is an mu opioid agonist.

[Hinkster]

I just tried again. I get this sign that says server not up and
to exit.I typed in my nickname but get nothing.

[Witchywoman]

Wow, me..that was a great story.  Thanks for letting us hear it.
It just goes to show you that you never know where you best teachers are going to show up.  You just never know.

Angels wear disguises all the time!

love,
WW

[angst]

Thank you again for giving me the right information.  It makes since because I cannot take nubain, stadol, or buprenex with the methadone.  Currently they have advised all patients on methadone not to take cipro - the antibiotic.  You are a real asset hear on the forum.  I do not like giving wrong info.  I check meds out often before I post.  I've  just assumed methadone was an antagonist, because I could not get high unless I used much more than usual dose.  Lots of patients have died that way.  I looked  methadone up and you are totally in the right.   Thank you  again, Ava

[hippy]

I read all the post, and i did notice that you really know uour **** about drugs,you seem like a professional.
I was just wondering how you were doing. I have not seen you share to much about your self.    peace  
I am just going at it a day at time, and trying to get my inner life back. That elusive normal feeling back, one of my freinds used to say struggling to be average. Tho i beleive addicts are
very intelegent people who missed thier calling in life or they are just off course. I beleive addicts can become the best at what ever they do, even if it's being the best at being the worst.  thanks to all and hope your day full of calm and comfort.

[groovygirl]

anyone wanting to know anything about meds is just a click away from all the information you could possibly want to know. being an addict has also turned me into a drug researching expert....you can pretty much know what you want to know by simply typing in the name of the med into any search engine...i like google.

[hippy]

your right, but i must admit im such a bad speller, and it does not help when looking up things on the net. You also have to ask the right question on the net ,in my experence it seems like that is just as hard to come up with as the answer.
I hope your foot is feeling better. good to see ya posting and all the nice things people had to say to you when you mentioned
leaving or lurking.
In my experence with addicts getting clean it always seemed over the years that more people trie to clean up during the winter months, i wonder if it is the same on this fourm.

Also as far looking up things about drugs, I really do not need any info on drugs , i need other peoples exprence with getting clean and staying clean , and dealing with the damage done.

peace and a speedy recovery on the foot

[mrmichael67]

Groovy, you are right, a ton of info is just a click away.  But, there isn't any substitute for experience.  And, people are not born with the info they now posess.  They had to learn it somewhere.  I would say that a good 99% of what I post comes from my head, not google.  But, a lot of people could answer their own questions via their favorite search engine.  Either way, this all is neither here nor there.  As far as how I am doing, I have chronic pain and it reminds me of it each and every day.  Some days are good, some aren't.  But, life goes on.  And, I am fully prepared to stay on my meds for the remainder of my life, if need be.  I refuse to live in pain if there is a way not to.  I just like to offer my experience and knowledge in hopes of being able to help someone in a situation I am all too familiar with.  If I am able to help one person, then it is worth it.

[angst]

tracy,   sorry i missed you today.  isabel and i got really sunburned yesterday when we went to the pool and took one of her friends.  we all put on sunscreen before we left the house.  i brought to with me to the pools, but the girls and I were doing fine until after 2pm.  i think the sunburn happened between 2 and 4pm.  i am doing well, i need to look for something to do until school starts with the ship yard.  i will do that and some other things tomorrow.  post and i hope we can reach one another or you can email me.  i hope you had a good weekend.    Ava

[tex3]

Hi guys. Hinkst, I am from Texas, been here since I was 8. Before that I was an Air Force brat and lived all over, although I can claim native Texan as I was born at Carswell AFB in Fort Worth. Where'd you do your basic training, and what branch?
Angst, sorry I missed you today. I actually had a pretty good day. I've been in a really good mood, so much so that my husband asked me several times if I had taken anything (I haven't, I think it's just the L-Tyr or maybe I'm over the worst of the hump). I have had a recurrence of my chronic pelvic pain, but nothing I can't handle. It got to where I had it just as bad when I was using as when I wasn't, so I know nothing would really help anyway.

It's almost 10:30p.m. here so I guess many of you are sleeping. I hope everyone is well and having a good day. I can't access my email on Hotmail, but Angst if you want you can email me at ***@****. We signed up for a new service and for some reason it won't let me get to Hotmail under my old name. I'll keep trying.

BTW, I love the name Isabel. I thought about naming one of my girls that, and always wanted to use it as a character in a book. Mine are Madelyn (Maddy), Emily and Ashley. tlk/tex3/tracy

[mrmichael67]

Have you used your hotmail within the past month?  With hotmail and yahoo, if you are inactive for a month, they terminate you.

[groovygirl]

i just posted that thing about google, because i noticed a lot of people with questions about meds that could be answered immediately rather than waiting for an answer from someone here.

i have found a ton of information that i have shared here and elsewhere - some of it was thru experience, but a lot of it was just from reading.  

you're right about cleaning up over the winter.  the winters here in new england are brutal (to me) and leave a lot of time inside thinking.  the summers are go, go go for me...i don't want to miss a minute of the weather.  i really have a hard time over the winter...depression sets in during november and usually lasts until this time of year.

i spent a good part of the weekend getting my yard and garden ready for summer.  all the sun and air make me feel like a new person.  my ankle seems to have healed fast, so i'm on my feet again...thank goodness!!!

sorry if i stepped on some toes about the google post...we aren't doctors here, and although i've gotten a bunch of good medical info here, i have also gotten some incorrect info.  it's always good to double-check...that's all i was saying.

[OxyDout]

always stirring things up around here, haha, just kidding. I'm glad to hear your ankle is doing well. I couldn't agree more about the winters around here. i get so depressed, its awful, I can't stand being inside. Thats all I think about is death, problems etc.......... But, hey, lets take advantage of the summer, i have a feeling this will be a good one. How are you feeling?

Have you ever been to the spinnaker? did I already ask you that?

GWH

[groovygirl]

yes you've asked, and no i've never been.

[tex3]

Hi MM. I checked hotmail daily. I just got a new computer and signed up for 2 years' MSN service, which of course came with email. But now when I try to check my old email on Hotmail, it won't let me sign in as another name. Weird. Not that I was getting much email to begin with, as I kind of withdrew from the world while I've been struggling with this whole mess.

Hippy, I really liked your post! We are very good at being bad, huh? At least when we do something we do it with gusto! Sometimes I wonder if we're just more intense and prone to self-reflection than other people. Or maybe I'm just looking for excuses to explain how I got to where I am now. Either way, I'm taking a long, hard look at myself, and what I've found is that I like myself much better now, with a clear head and my newfound honesty, than I did as a confused doper. But that doesn't mean it's not a struggle, as I've recently found that I very much miss that easy solution (even if it wasn't really a solution) that I found in a pill bottle. But hell, if I can do this maybe I can do anything, huh? I'll shut up now; as I said, too much self-reflection...

[angst]

I agree about the info.  I used to be in the business, but there is so much out there.  I was learning chemo, and how to treat their side effects more than looking up drugs.  I used the pdr when something I did not know came along.  I'm getting better checking things out on the computer before I post.  Please bear with me.  I appreciate Mr. Michael and you having the information ready.  Mr. Michael said his is mostly from experience.  You both are a great asset.  I take no disrespect in the fact that you can help me and others.  Thank you.
Good luck and Blessings, Ava

[groovygirl]

i guess i am just a big *#!hole....i didn't mean anything by my post about looking stuff up.  i just wanted to tell people that they can also get their answers in other places that are more efficient than waiting for an answer or getting the wrong answer from someone who isn't a doctor. I'M SORRY OK?

[angst]

Thanks, also other than goggle, i have an outdated sight.  Are there more pharmacological sites?  Will you let me in on them?

[Hinkster]

Hi tex3(tlk).
Sorry I didn't get back to you. I have to use this computer at work. I loaned mine to a buddy whos going through a tough divorce. It's over at his house, well he was just called up to
active duty and was sent to the Persion(sp) Gulf for ninty days.
I was stationed at Lackland Airforce base in the Airforce at
San Antonio (sp). Also I passed through Dallas on my way to Hawaii. Seems like a pretty nice state.
Tom

[angst]

Good afternoon,  I hope you are doing well today.  I cannot talk for long, because my kid has blisters on her forehead.  I've got to call the school, and i've got to get her some relief.  I'll check back with you and everyone later.  I guess you have your computer back.  How goes it with the meds?  Hope all is well.
Good luck and Blessings.

[mrmichael67]

Don't sweat it!  In my post I did say you were right.  Most info can be found by searching.  I said what I said about me just in case you meant something else by it.

[Hinkster]

Hi Ava,
I sent you a small email. Thanks for caring about me. I'am not to sure about this methadone. I havn't got a feel for it yet. It
doesn't seem to help with my pain to much. ThankGod for the oxicodones for breakthrough. I have an appointment thursday maybe
I can get some answers.
Tom

[oh please already]

---------------do you guys swear that it will get better and do you think that my flacky ass can do it?

[ExoticSol]

First let me start of by introducing myself.  I am a 19 turning 20 college student who just finsihed his 2nd year at WorWic community college.  I've never been a steady drug user. I've experimented throughout my life but have never really been addicted.  I've been using a steady amount of pain killers for the past 6 months.  Medicines ranging from 10mg Oxycontin, 5mg Roxicodone (2 to 3 at a time), 3 Tylox, 4 Vicodin, or other types of anti anxiety medicines, i.e. Valium, Xanax, Adavan.  I have mainly been taking thiss meds for some minor back problems but I felt they helped me more in coping with my exgirlfriend's new fiance.  The medicines kinda numbed my thoughts the way I needed them to.  Well, now my depression has finally lifted, I am once again happy, summer is comming around again, I'll hopefully be getting my car out of the shop.  (My car is my life, which I feel has been the other part of my depression)  Well with all this change going on I feel that I don't need the drugs anymore.  A couple of days ago I decided to stop taking the Roxicondone  but I just can't seem to stop.  I'll last for about 18hours but then I can somehow justify taking them.  So I am basically looking for some support.  Tomorrow, May 7th, I begin my quest to be drugfree.  I have taken my last two Roxicodone tonite May 6th at 9pm.  I have plans on how to keep myself busy and so on but is there anything I can take, without taking Valium and Adavan, that can help to take the edge off.  I plan on working on my car, applying for some jobs, and maybe just go chill at the beach.  I'm trying to prove to myself that I can live a life and be completely happy again without having any type of outside chemical in me.  Thanks.  You can email me directly if you need to speak to me or instant message me through AIM.  

Email  ***@****
AIM - LordMaryk or ExoticSol

[angst]

i know you can do it. we are sitting down to dinner so i have to go soon.  but meagain, you have the mind to do it.  apply your will, or His will, and surround yourself with NA basic text, and other books on recovery.   my mother, who had 13 years clean before she died, left her diaries to me.  recovery is a life time endevor she wrote.  i tend to believe her.  hang in there and get to a meeting as soon as you feel well enough to go.  continue posting.  we care about you.  Good luck and Blessings, Ava.

[Witchywoman]

Meagain,
Yes, I swear that it does get better. It really does.

And I also believe that anyone who wants it bad enough can get clean and stay clean.  The key is that you have to really, really want it. Put as much if not more energy into your recovery work as you did into your addiction, and you will be well on your way.

The thing is, you have to really root out the part of you that is still clinging the chasing that high, and not let it be in charge anymore.

Sometimes getting help, inpatient or outpatient, is also the way to go.  A lot of times our internal controls are just not there, and the external structure of a program helps a lot.

good luck..just never give up. You can do it.

WW

[tex3]

Exoticsol -- First, please don't get upset with what I say, and maybe I am wrong here, but just think about it.
You write that you have never been addicted to drugs. From what you write, you are using drugs to numb your feelings. That's exactly what I did. I also said I was not addicted. It took a revelation for me to admit it to myself. I knew I needed to stop before I admitted I was addicted, and was already detoxing at that point. But generally, if you are using drugs to numb your feelings and not as prescribed, you probably have a problem with them. You are abusing them, whether you are "actively" dependent on them or not (by dependent I mean physically, in which you will experience withdrawals when you quit taking them).
It sounds like you are having serious cravings and preoccupation with the pills, which is likely why you find reasons to take them after 18 hours. No one can tell you that you are an addict or that you have a problem with drugs; you have to get to that point on your own. When I finished my first detox, the therapist asked me if I considered myself an addict, and I said no. I used every excuse in the book; I was in chronic pain so that helped, as I could cover myself in that and justify my usage. And I was in pain, but I loved that because it allowed me to freely use painkillers. I also used anti-anxiety meds, but never really got bad with those.
These are just some things to consider. You are the only one who really knows how much and why you are using pills. It takes a lot of self-analysis to understand what's going on in your head. Sounds like you are working on that. I've found that I can actually deal with life's problems much better while not using. I went through some really tough times, as you are with your ex-gf. I still am, but it's much easier to deal with when I am honest to myself (which I never was when using) and my head is clear.
One more thing: If you are using the Ativan, Xanax or other CNS depressants regularly, when you detox from these you must do so under a doctor's care. You can have seizures as a rebound effect from stopping these. This is very serious, so please don't mess around with it if you are in fact using them regularly. The detox from regular use of opiates is hell, but it won't kill you. Read others posts here to know what to expect, if you will be detoxing from painkillers.
If you are not using any of these regularly, but are instead using them as a crutch to numb your feelings, you still need help emotionally/mentally to deal with the cravings and other psychological aspects of this. We are here for you. I hope this post hasn't angered you, and maybe I am off base regarding your situation. I am speaking solely as a recently admitted addict. Feel free to write to me personally; my address is ***@****.

[ash]

hi ya doin. I actually have been on the forum for some time but took a two month frickin" binge! i really dug the way you talked about the w/ds. Im' only at like day one! off of vikes. But i get about a week or so off and then i fold. it is so distressing and scary. i want to be able to say i have been clean a year and more. i wish the best to u, please keep posting!

ash

[angst]

hey,i'm sorry i have not posted lately .  when you got the new computer, did you change your email address?  how are you feeling?  how have they been treating your endo?  i had a total surgerical hyst,because it was causing so many problems.  the doc
said i was pre cancerous.  hope you are well.  i hope the cravings have lessened.  talk to you later.  
      ava

[tex3]

Hi Ava. I'm doing pretty good, was out all day yesterday and today I have a killer headache.
I did get new email, although I'm still trying to get back to my old one and check it (unsuccessfully, so far).
I had a total hyst too, although it was done in stages, through 4 laps in 4 years. Didn't plan it that way, but nothing ever helped and every year I was back for more cutting. They took the last ovary in March, so I guess if that doesn't work, I'm somewhat screwed. After dealing with it for so many years, I think I can handle a certain level of pain anyway, so I'm hopeful.

You can email me at ***@****. I had hotmail, but my computer won't let me log in under my old name. Crazy.

I hope you're doing well. I assume they got all the bad cells out of you? That's very scary. Please let me know how you are. Do you know how Meagain is doing?
Tracy

[angst]

i need to email her.  i worry about her, but i also care for her.
she posts usually when she needs to.  i hope she knows how many of us do care for her.  she helped welcome me to the forum and helped me when i needed help.  i will email her.

[tex3]

Please let me know how she is. She sounded really down, like she needed help now. I've been that depressed but it was before I was posting here. I finally called my sister at that point just to cry. That was during the first week of my detox. I hope she's okay. Update here if you get a chance. t

[ThruBeinCool]

Hi all.
I'm new here. I stumbled onto this wonderful place in search of people that have similar problems as my wife and I. We are addicted to vicodin ES. (approx. 15-20/day each!) We have made the decision to quit on Sunday. I'm scared, but I really want to beat this thing. It all started 4 years ago when I got a kidney stone and a perscription for Vicodin ES. I took 2 and passed the kidney stone. The remaining 28 stayed in the cupboard for 6 months until I had a bad headache one day and didn't have any tylenol. I took 2 Vicodins for the headache and felt great. It has been a hell ride ever since. I really don't know how this got so out of control and I am so regretful it ever happened. I am literally watching our lives going down the tubes and my better angels are telling me to stop now. I've lost a lot of my self-esteem and I feel so ashamed of myself. I've let so many things go by the way-side in favor of getting more pills. I really hope to stop. I am choosing sunday because I see a window of opportunity where we wont have any commitments for about 10 days. Folks, please pray for us. -And a big hats off to all the brave souls here that are kicking this ****. I want to be a good person again.

Thank you.

[Witchywoman]

Hi thru and welcome to the forum!

Your story is a lot like many of ours..you are not alone here.

I look forward to getting to know you and more of what you are going through. sometimes just writing it out and getting gut level honest with yourself really helps a lot.

love,
WW

[ThruBeinCool]

Thanks ww!
Yes, I hope to be checking in here for inspiration when I'm in the 'belly of the beast'.  I'm looking foward to it;  I want to live a good life again. I am so sick of all the lying and living a double-life, not to mention all the money. I'm so guilt ridden for what I've been doing. Praying and watching televangelists seems to help me.

Thanks for your response!!

TBC

[groovygirl]

you are still a good person - you're just an addict like the rest of us here.  my addiction started out over a headache as well.  it's a rollercoaster ride thru hell...and it definitely can put you into debt.  my wallet isn't as empty these days...that's for sure.  be careful of those televangelists too tho...historically, they've been known to empty wallets too. we're all here to support you - keep posting and good luck to you and your wife.

[tex3]

Good luck in your quest for freedom from this beast! It does help to talk to people at various stages. I will say, however, that the first week I didn't talk to anyone except to cry, cry, cry. Are you going cold turkey or doing a home detox with an addiction specialist? That really does help. If not, some OTC things will help a bit. I, too, was hooked on Vics (10/325) up to 30/day at the end. It's no fun. I wish you the best of luck and please let us know how y'all are doing. t

[ThruBeinCool]

tex3,
Thanks for the reply. Coming here is giving me the will-power to go thru this. I am doing this in a hard taper. I have begun the taper 7 days ago and feel like absolute garbage. Sunday, I will attempt to do none. Keep the replies coming; I really appreciate it, God bless.

TBC

[lolypop]

TRAMADOL IS BEST DRUG I EVER EXPERIMENT WITH.i TOOK DAYLY 60MG.

[GOD]

lolypop,

You said you Experimented with Tramadol and took 60Mg per day. How did you do that? As far as I am aware, Tramadol comes in 2 different dosings: 50Mg per pill in Ultram, and 37.5Mg per pill in Ultracet. Were you cutting up pills or did you mean to say you were taking 600 Milligrams and not Sixty. Anyhow, Just be careful with this drug! It is not an Opiate, but it is just as addictive in some people (Including me), and don't be surprised to find yourself taking 30 or more pills in one day and wondering how this all happpened....

Jess