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how to stop

by shubunkin, May 22, 2003 12:00AM
Tags: Addiction
I have been taking Xanax for a year now. 1mg daily. Also Paxil 20mg.But I have cut the Paxil down to every other day for about 2 months now because I simply could not afford it every month. What could I switch to taper off the Xanax that would be easier than the Xanax itself? I get withdrawels even at the low dose. Also is there anything that I could take that is cheaper than the Paxil? Thankyou Danielle
Member Comments (55)

by theGolden1, May 23, 2003 12:00AM
To: Forum MD re: Ultram
I have a question about stopping ultram. I am actually taking the generic (tramadol). I have been using it for 2 years and have tapered down to one dose every morning. I take 2 1/2 pills amounting to 125mil. I have vicodin or valium, zanax and even phenobarbitol available to use for a detox. The thing is I need to be able to function in about 5 days and from what I hear, it takes 2 weeks to feel decent. I'm afraid to even start this unless I can succeed. Can I just change to vicodin and not feel any reaction? I am not afraid of withdrawal from vicodin ... but tramadol is new territory. I am not a youngster, so I don't want to go into shock ... I appreciate any and all advice. Thanks, Goldie

by Forum-M.D.-rcb, May 23, 2003 12:00AM
Dear Golden1:

It would be very unwise to begin any detoxification until after the important meeting because responses vary with each individual. I have not had extensive personal experience with Tramadol but it does not take a genius to recognize that it is the equivalent of an opiate agonist with variations because of the scores of variants of the opiate receptors. It is hitting the same complex with variations and it is unpredictable how you woukld react. I would not substitute another opiate but rather to unload over a significant period of time- weeks- and allow the body to adjust.N OXXaionL SOAW OD  reN

by Forum-M.D.-rcb, May 23, 2003 12:00AM
DEAR GOLDIE1:

I AM RESPONDING TO YOU IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE IT WOULD BE UNFORTUNATE FOR YOU TO BEGIN ANY DETOXIFICATION UNTIL AFTER THE IMPORTANT MEETING, BECAUSE YOU ARE ON A SIGNIFICANT DOSE AND IT IS TOTALLY UNPREDICTABLE WHAT KIND OF WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMATOLOGY YOU WOULD SUFFER. THIS IS PARTICULARLY SO WITH INDIVIDUALS WHO ARE OLDER.

I HAVE NOT HAD EXTENSIVE EXPERIENCE, HAVE HAD SOME, BUT ONE DOES NOT HAVE TO BE A GENIUS TO RECOGNIZE THAT TRAMADOL IS THE EQUIVALENT OF AN OPIATE AGONIST WITH VARIATIONS ON ITS SPECTRUM OF ACTIONS BECAUSE THERE ARE A BROAD COMPLEX OF OPIATE RECEPTORS  GOING BY GREEK NAMES  WITH DIFFERENCES IN THE SENSITIVITY OF VARIOUS RECPTORS TO A DRUG. THERE ARE SUFFICIENT COMMONALITIES THAT ANY AND ALL OF THE SYMPTOMATOLOGY OF WITHDRAWAL FROM AN OPIATE CAN OCCUR.  

I WOULD DETOXIFY OVER A PERIOD OF MANY WEEKS AND OCCASIONALLY  USE AN ANTI-ANXIETY PILL FOR A FEW DAYS IF MATTERS BECOME INTOLERABLE. ALL OF THESE COMMENTS ARE ASSUMING YOU DO NOT HAVE AN IMPOSSIBLE PAIN PROBLEM AND THE TOLERABILITY WILL DEPEND TO A GREAT EXTENT ON HOW DETERMINED YOU ARE TO BO FREE AND YOUR BIOLOGICAL MAKEUP RESPECTING PAIN OR ANXIETY THRESHOLD.

by terter, May 23, 2003 12:00AM
To: Golden 1/lolli
I took Ultram/Tramadol for more then a year, I was taking about 15 a day, I would tapper through to the 5 days then after your important thing then stop. My w/d from Tramadol the first time wasn't pleasant. It was presented as a non narcotic so when my tolerance kicked in I would take more until I would take 3 at a time and my energy kicked in I was up to 5 at a time, My doc put me on a tapper of one less every other day but if I would do it again I would go slower. If you replace it with vicoden you will not go through w/d until you stop all, you get a better feeling with vicoden and may start a new addiction to that which is what I did. When I went off Ultram my doc told me he has seen Psychosis in patients on Ultram, That scared the **** out of me. You will need more time then 5 days but the worse will be over then then the struggle of staying off, I had surgerys after the ultram so I started my vicoprohen addiction which was my choice of drug but would pretty much take any Opiate I could get my hands on. I have been through several w/d from both on my own and it's not easy, You can't in my opinion detox with vicodin because it's stronger then the Ultram, you are on little Tramadol now so keep up with the small amount then after your 5 days go a little lower. Good luck Goldie stay here through the process and well/I'll talk you through it, I'm going through day 12 of w/d except for a couple norco for extreme pain yesterday but I feel better today so no more unless my pain gets to the extreme I have my friend give me as little as possible for pain only/Lolli - I told my husband also and he said he knew too!! I haven't told him everything that I have done b/c I am to ashamed but he is being very supportive, My w/d haven't been as bad this time b/c I tappered with Darvocete for a couple of weeks, I have low energy and the blahs which compared to past w/d isn't a lot and was lucky to have my husband take care of the house during the worst, I can't go back because I would let my family down again. Golden 1 - Please be careful w/tramadol and get some info about tappering. You guys can e-mail me anytime - ***@**** - but please continue to look through this forum believe me it helps  -- TER

by terter, May 23, 2003 12:00AM
To: Golden1
FYI- I am not a youngster I am a 41 year old Female- My personal opinion This **** ages you, I had a professional photo taken of myself before this ordeal, I used to get attention -the whistles, the can I have your # ect... Even high school kids would hit on me, but after a few years of Opiates and I'm sure the years catch up to you as well, I see pictures of myself and can't believe the differance it looks like I've aged 15 years in 5 I have to admit that didn't even stop me useing, What did was the lieing and being imbaressed at the pharmacy when they tell me it's to early to pick up my script, We all know the drill on that.  TER

by theGolden1, May 23, 2003 12:00AM
To: ForumMD
I am determined to be free ... but it is starting to seem like an impossible goal. My pain threshold is not very good because I have Fibromyalgia. The Fibro has improved over the last 2 years and I have tapered down from a much larger dose. I have a little grandaughter that is 2 years old and I need energy to deal with her as well as my partime job doing real estate. So far I am hearing that tramadol withdrawal is unpredictable. I should use valium or zanax very sparingly for the mental symptoms and an opiate for the unbearable pain (when it happens) ... and take my time about all this .... and of coarse, make sure I don't become dependent on anything else .... thank you. I wish we had some actual clinical reports on tramadol withdrawal ... but I do appreciate your advice .... Goldie

by theGolden1, May 23, 2003 12:00AM
To: Terter
Thank you so much .... there is no painless way out and it's not fair! I was told ultram was NOT addictive. Anyway ... what's the use of crying over spilled milk .. (I can't believe I said that)
The whole thing is getting so played out ... I just want to live my life and not worry about all this. If vicodin is stronger, I can break it in half and use it sparingly for excruciating pain. It should be good for 4 days .... thanks again, Goldie

by suzieneedshelp, May 23, 2003 12:00AM
To: Goldie
I miss you and love ya!
Suzie

by theGolden1, May 24, 2003 12:00AM
To: Suzie
Thank God! Where are you? Are you on ezeeboard? Please come to amberhunters board. It rocks. What is your email?

by AmberHunter, May 24, 2003 12:00AM
email amber hunter at ***@**** if you are interested in joining in with a bunch of us in a very simple, uncomplicated, no waiting in line, kind of way~

by gracie97, May 25, 2003 12:00AM
To: Everyone/Peazy/NO Lady/Mystere/Lostsoul
Yesterday I was cleaning, seriously into detail, (first time in a while) and guess what I found? A large WHITE tablet. First thing I did was flip it over to see if it said M363(the big score) or M358, as soon as I saw M363, I started to shake, I slowly walked into the other room and screamed what I had...He talked me into giving it to him, took almost 95 seconds, as I was had seconds thoughts about given it up, BUT I did and we flushed it together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Guys, I am so mad at myself for even THINKING about taking that pill, I guess honestly, not really mad but scared. What if I find one again and there is no one here to give it to?

Hope every body is doing great. I think I really should be grateful today, I have made it through the toughesat part-flushing ONE Lortab 10 is PROOF isn't it?????

(I am free-+28 days!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Anne, please post, I need to hear from you!!!!!!!!!!!

by mystere, May 25, 2003 12:00AM
To: Gracie/Peaz/Da Girls/Everyone
I'm sorry I haven't been posting much--I've been having a tough time with the mental aspect of everything--WOW flushing a hydro-10--You Go Girl!  I'm not sure in my present state of mind I would have had the strenght to flush it!--Thank you so much for caring--I would have never made it this far without YOU and Peaz and everyone else--Sooo today is 35 days clean and for today I'll be grateful for that--Take care and I'll be checking in again this evening--Once again you all sooooo special--Much Love Peace/Prayers Mystere/Aka N.O. Lady

Anne

by 9 years, May 25, 2003 12:00AM
I had gotton a flesh eating Bact in 1998. I have been clean and sober from 1994. I have not misused any of the drugs and most likely I have had them all. I would like to be off "ALL" drugs and just see what pain level I am at ? For the past year I have been taking Methadone. I have cut it down from 100Mg a day to 20Mg a day.Can someone help me with cuting the 20Mg a day ? Do I take 20 every other day and then to 10Mg a day and from there were do I go?

Thanks
step 6

by gracie97, May 25, 2003 12:00AM
To: Mystere/Peaz/Suzy/Amber
Your post made me "feel" why I am here. NO LADY, I care about you soooo much, a day without your posts makes me so scared, I missed you sooo much. We CAN do this, I know we can, please do not quit posting, your strength/fears support me sooo  much. Everybody knows we are days apart but I feel like we are in this together, from day one. Anne, if you need/want to talk one on one, pleeeeeaaaasssseeee, let me know, I will give you my e-mail address. GIRL-WE CAN DO THIS-I PROMISE WE CAN MAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is tough, BUT we can. Like the train says, I think I can , I think I can.......WE CAN!!!!!!!!!!!

by peaz, May 25, 2003 12:00AM
To: Gracie and Anne
You girls have the WORST behind you now KEEP GOING!!! PLEASE don't give in to the beast NOW!!!!!!!    OMG--call me collect but DON't USE!!!!!
   I had been sober a bout four months when I put my hand in my "mowing shorts" pocket, and came up w/ three hydros.....AACK!!!!   My hand went to my mouth; to the sink....to my mouth; to the sinkLOL  abuot five times before I finally decided to put 'em down the drain...JUST MY LUCK!! They fuckers (sorry) WOULDN'T FIT  so I had to run all the way (ALL THE WAY!!!!!LOL)  across the rrom to the bathroom where I FLUNG them into the toilet like the vermin they were, and flushed before I could grab 'em out.....WHEW!!  I stood there, shaking....thinking what a close call that had been.  But damn!!  that soon gave way to absolute PRIDE in my resolution and I feel ten feet tall.......A little thing, you might well say, but yet  such a HUGE gesture......!! Gracie--I am THAT proud of you now and I KNOW you can do it by yourself if it ever happens again!!!  I KNOW you will!!
    You two try and post more because you sound just a little shaky and having to report in will get you through that phase a little easier.. It makes a difference, having to 'fess up to others, because they don't "buy" the BS that we, ourselves can stomach quite readily..:-)  I love youse two---peazy

by mystere, May 26, 2003 12:00AM
To: Gracie97/Peaz/DA GIRLS//Everyone
Happy Memorial Day--Peaz--Yes I guess I am a little shakey and I think I know why--I was having some skin reactions due to the Wellbutrin sooo I just decided to quit taking them--BAD MOVE--All week I have felt lethargic and sort of "lost"--I started taking them again yesterday and I can feel that old optimism begin to return--I really didn't think it would make much difference and boy was I wrong! Gracie thank you so much for all your love and support--Have you hit the OK WHAT NOW STAGE?-Now that we don't have the physical withdrawals to worry about how do we go about picking up the pieces of our lives without those magic little pills?  Anyway just wanted to check in and let everyone know how much I appreciate all of the caring and support--36 days out of hydro-hell and I am standing stronger!
Love Y'all--Peace Prayers-Mystere/AKA N.O, Lady

Anne

by gracie97, May 26, 2003 12:00AM
To: Peaz/Mystere
Hope everyone is enjoying a great TAB FREE holiday!!!! (My second one, since Easter)

Anne, I am at that what now stage, so I try to keep BUSY, guess that is why I found the thing I did-hehhehehehehhe, quite ironic, but it is over. And today is another free day. I also listen to lots of music as I am "cleaning" or working in the yard (it is OK, the neighbors are deaf-seriously, not trying to be cruel).The songs that used to make me cry, because I was so "ashamed" of myself, now give me strength. My pets are a major part of my life (my kids), and they are grateful to have their old Mom back-just puttin on the tennis shoes makes them crazy, they know that means WALK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peazy, thank you so much for tellin me bout the mowing shorts thing, I am so relieved to know that it also scared the **** out of someone else! I was sooo, scared!

Guys, I love you all, and appreciate what you have done for me, I sincerely believe, this is NOT something anyone can do alone, we need each other, and I am grateful you guys are sharing/supporting me!!!!!!! (No one in my family knows about the tab thing, just Rick)

by theGolden1, May 26, 2003 12:00AM
To: 9 years
I don't know anything about methadone ... post to MrMichael67. He has alot of knowledge on this. Also Thomas .... you might read some of the threads on methadone. I salute you for getting down to 20 mil .... the lower you go ... the slower you must drag it out. Good luck to you ... Goldie

by 9 years, May 27, 2003 12:00AM
Today is the start to 10Mg of Metadone a day. Please keep me in your pray and thoughts as we all band together to help one anothe.
Peace

by 9 years, May 27, 2003 12:00AM
To: MrMichael67
My friend can you tell me anything about coming off of Methadone ?? I have it now at 20Mg a day but wanted to start it at 10 Mg today ?? How long should I carry this out and how do I go about it ?
Thank you

by 9 years, May 28, 2003 12:00AM
To: Golden1
I thank you for your support.
9years

by mrmichael67, May 28, 2003 12:00AM
I am sorry it took awhile to get to you.  DO NOT go from 20mg to 10mg!  You should go down about 1mg every two weeks.  NICE AND SLOW.  You should also make sure everything in your life is in order.  No drug use is must at this point or you shouldn't even consider it.

by mrmichael67, May 28, 2003 12:00AM
Of course, I am assuming you are at a clinic?  If you are at a clinic and on the liquid, then it can go down in 1mg increments.  If not, then you are going to basically break the pill into quarters and go by a 2.5mg drop.  The smallest you can break the pill, the better.  If you can break the pill into 1/8, then by all means do it.  Of course, I am talking about 10mg pills.  If you have 5mg ones, or something else like a 40mg diskette, then do it accordingly.  NICE AND SLOW.  Take a multi vitamin and eat well.  Keep hydrated and do what you know is right.  What I mean by that is you know pretty much what you shouldn't be doing.  Just take care of yourself during this and DO NOT be in a hurry.  I know we all want it NOW.

by thetxhartclan, May 29, 2003 12:00AM
To: My intro - need support
Wow, this is very hard for me to write, but I feel it is time.  My name is Rebecca, and I am a very happily married mom of 4 wonderful children.  I am also a hydrocodone addict. There, I have said it.  Not like I haven't said it to my husband before, but saying it to complete strangers in a little harder.  

I have always had what doctors would call an "addictive" personality.  I looked forward to dental procedures, and surgeries, knowing I would have my little slice of heaven with the euphoria from the pain meds.  I never sought them out, just happily took what came my way.  Then last June, following the birth of our youngest child (we had my tubes untied to have more children), it all went to heck.  I had Lortab for the c-section, nothing different than my other 3, but then my mind numbing migraies came back with a vengeance soon after she was born.  I was breastfeeding and determined not to quit this time, and the migraines were coming sometimes daily.  I had a very understanding doctor, who dealt with chronic pain himself, and he handed out the Vicoprofen like candy.  In addition, sometimes the Vicoprofen did not kill the headache, so I would have to go into his office for a shot of either Nubain or Stadol.  

Somewhere along that line, I got lost in the Vic's.  I never intended to, but I liked the way I felt when I took a couple.  I could do anything, I was not depressed, I had all the energy and positive attitide in the world.  With each new bottle of pills, I would tell myself "This is it, I will stop when these are gone."  Then it would be "OK, the next bottle, then I REALLY will quit."  I have been on antidepressants since my 7th month of pregnancy (I had some mild PPD with my second youngest child), and I guess the Vicoprofen gave me what I "expected" from an antidepressant.  Happiness was a full bottle of Vicoprofen in my purse.  Before I knew it, I couldn't stop taking the Vicoprofen without feeling w/d effects.  The first time, I told my doctor what was going on, and went through w/d cold turkey except for some Valium.  Of course, after the w/d was over, a month or so later I had myself convinced that I was "fixed" and could handle taking them again for the migraines.  Also let me explain I am allergic to the Triptans, such as Imitrex and that sort of migraine meds, they have horrible side effects for me, so my doc did not want me taking that.  Well, I'm sure you know as soon as I got back on the Vic's, it all went to heck again and in a very short period of time.  It went as far as me adding one, yes ONE, refill to a prescription, something I never ever thought I would do, and the pharmacist called the doc, who didn't write the refill, I did.  Now, I am a 34 year old professional business woman, an accountant, a happy wife and mother, I NEVER thought this would happen to ME.  How wrong I was.  It was so hard the day that the pharmacist told me he couldn't fill the Vicoprofen, my husband was standing right there with me, and did not know what I had done, nor did he know they were becoming a problem again.  Needless to say, I went through w/d again, and getting caught with the refill forged scared me to death.  W/d is so hard because it is not just your body feeling lousy, your mind plays head games with you all the way, too.  I have taken up to 14 Vic's per day at most, for 4 months straight.  W/d was very unsettling.  

Fast forward - I switched docs after getting caught forging the refill.  I had to, they would not provide me any more hydrocodone, which meant they were no use to me at that point.  How stupid I was.  I went to my new doc, one that my parents have been seeing for 10 years, and explained my history with the migraines, but left out the part about having a problem with Vic's.  I told him I did not want any narcotics, just the lowest strength of something to knock out the headaches.  Well, I ended up on Vicodin.  When the Phrenilin did not work, my doc was pushing Vicodin, and I gave in.  Which leads to where I am at now, on a decreasing taper of hydrocodone.  I failed the first taper.  He gave me a script for all I needed for the next month to taper 2 pills a week.  My stupid ass took them all within 2 weeks.  God, what mind games this stuff plays with your head!  I was honest with my doctor, I told my husband what was going on, and he went with me to the doc.  We worked it out to where my husband would hold my "supply" and only give me what I had allocated for each day in the morning.  This worked well enough until I asked for extra here and there because I was stressed, and my husband gave in.  I don't blame him at all, the choice was mine.  I made poor choices and left myself not enough of the meds to last to my next 10 day refill.  We've taken care of that and I now have the supply back, but I am so afraid that I won't be able to stay on track.  Right now I am on 5 7.5/500 per day, and we are decreasing one each week.  I want so badly to be rid of this monkey on my back, and it scares me more than anything to be a slave to a bottle of pills.  To look at that bottle and know that my good mood and positive outlook is locked up in there.  I made it 34 years without getting caught by this drug, why is it so hard for me to stop it now?  I am deathly afraid of w/d'ing again, mostly because of the mental issues.  I am usually a person who believes I can do anything, but going through w/d, I have all these feelings of self doubt and depression.  

I guess what I really need is just support, to be able to talk to people like me who have fallen into this trap.  I do not blame anyone for this, not my doctors, not my husband, I am a big girl and make my own decisions, but this is just so difficult.  I want to be successful this time, I do not want to fail again just to go through w/d again.  I know that I can never take this stuff after I am off of it.  It makes me feel so weak-willed, and I am not.  Like I said, the Vicoprofen gave me such feelings of happiness, of well-being, that I expected from my antidepressant (I take 20mg Lexapro).  I know the antidepressant works, my husband has noticed that I am not as down as before I started it, but I guess I just expected to be happy all the time on it.  I had never taken an antidepressant before last year.

Thank you for listening to me rattle on, and I am sorry to take up so much space, but I feel so much better for having posted this.  Thank you for having a place like this for support.

Rebecca      

by bmac, May 29, 2003 12:00AM
To: thetxhartclan
Rebecca, welcome to our world! We all know your story and you will get support here. 90 % of us have experienced hydro I am sure. You need to tell us what you need from us! We can help you taper or help you deal with the mental rape we all go thru or we can just sit and hold your hand while you cry, whatever. We are all addicts here, using or not using. No judgements here!
Don't ever hold back and tell us the truth, period, even if it steps on other peoples toes. This is a public forum so you meet all kinds here. Well fire away, we are listening!
                        Bmac

by thetxhartclan, May 30, 2003 12:00AM
To: bmac - thank you
Bmac, thank you for the very encouraging words.  This is mental rape, you put it so well.  The way it has been for me is before I start the taper or c/t, I have a great positive outlook, and KNOW that I can kick these.  Then I am off for 24 hours or so and the doubts start creeping back in.  I have w/d twice c/t and right before I started this taper, I w/d for a day before I couldn't take it any longer and was honest with my husband and the doctor.  Basically, my doc said this is my "last chance" at tapering on my own before he would recommend treatment.  Of course, I will do anything to avoid that, so I am doing my best to stick to this.  In some ways, it is probably not fair to put my husband in the position to have to tell me "no" when I ask for extra on a particularly stressful day, but he willingly offered to do this for me.  I have only asked for extra maybe 4 times since the beginning of this taper, but like I said I left myself with not enough to finish this 10 day period.  I knew at the time that I was making a poor choice, but it is so easy to tell yourself you'll just deal with it later.  I did manage to come up with a replacement supply till Monday by going to the ER, which I really hated to have to do, but I feel much more positive knowing that on Monday I will have my next 10 days worth.  I realized after posting that I said I am desreasing one pill each week, actually it is one pill each ten days, and we started out with 7 7.5's per day, now I am on 5 and Monday I will start 4.  It is not easy, and I know everyone here knows that only too well.  Even my doctor told me this would be very difficult.  

Thank you very much for listening and welcoming me.  I am so glad that there are people that know exactly what I am going through.  I let my husband read my original post last night, and he told me he is very proud of me.  I know this is hard for him, he has never taken anything recreationally besides smoking, and he gave that up cold turkey in 1998.  He is very supportive of me, even though he may not fully understand every little nuance of what I am going through.  

Thank you again and I look forward to talking with everyone.

by bmac, May 30, 2003 12:00AM
To: thetxhartclan
Hey just be glad you have a spouse to help you do this! I am divorcing just for that reason, addiction!! It is hard with help much less without! If you know this is it, why don't you get a schedule down you can live with for a few weeks. I understand that you are facing rehab, that won't be pretty but sometimes it works. To be honest and not to offend the good Doc here but I have found the best way to withdraw is to do it here with people that know what they are talking aboutand been thru it alot of times. Many many people will talk to you if you wanna do this with our help. Several of us are here basically 24/7. I know of 6 people now that are willing to help you, so tell us what you need from us and we can guide you thru the hell, and it will hurt but if you taper and stick to it, you can just stop. The mental part is the hardest so pay attention to the Thomas recipe and I am sure Hippee or someone will post it to you. My email address is ***@**** if some things are personal. This is a public forum you know!
I am sure any minute MrM or MethMike will jump on here so hang on and we will help you and your husband! Hey Percs amswer her please! LOL (I am from Alabama, we yell!) LOL    Bill

by 9 years, May 30, 2003 12:00AM
To: mrmichael67
Hello my friend. Thank you for your advice. It will help me greatly. I always want to go fast and get this out of my system, but as you have pointed out: I "NEED" to go slowely with this. I am taking the 10Mg pills and not at a clinic. My Dr. talked with me and suggest that I take one pill less a day. Say ; If one was taking 100Mg a day, To switch to 90Mg a day for a week and see how I feel with that. Then continue with 80Mg and so on and so on. I like what you had said and give it alott of creadence. One day at a time . I can not look at tomorrow, but just need to stay in the moment.
Regards

by MethMan, May 30, 2003 12:00AM
To: thetxhartclan
Hello!
Bmac is right.  You are VERY lucky to have a spouse that is supportive.  EXTREMELY LUCKY!  You should find a way to harness that power and use it for your own good.
You have other choices than in-patient rehab.  There is also something called out-patient that allows you to stay at home at night and come in at say 7 or 8 am.  Stay the day, then back home.  It is a structured environment that includes both therapy for the mind and body.  If you've used Vicodin for any length of time, chances are your body is out of tune.  Obviously the mind is going to be tweaked because it's been bombarded by external chemicals that took the place of your own body's function of feeding the brain.  Out-patient rehab can help you adjust your body to the new chemistry but more importantly, it can help you with the adjustment your mind needs.  These "adjustments" include stuff like how you react to certain stimuli.  What makes you decide to drop more pills when you KNOW its not the right thing to do or that you need them for pain?  Stuff like that.  It's not a weakness, so I'd stop thinking of it that way.  Rather, it's more like a learned process of doing the wrong thing.  Cool thing is... you can UNLEARN it.
I don't want to make light of the journey ahead of you.  Its gonna be tough.  You're gonna get worn down.  You'll start asking yourself stuff like "It's been (fill in the blank) weeks!  Why am I STILL feeling like this?"  The upside is, that it does get better.  The more time you get behind day 1, the better you're gonna be feeling.  Your energy will come back, you'll start caring about things you simply didn't notice again (like how much your spouse loves you) and best of all, you'll be proud of yourself again.
I needed inpatient.  5 weeks of it.  But it was well worth it to me.  While going "in" worked for me, it may not be right for you.  Figure your options now while weaning.  Dedicate yourself to a plan of attack.  If you need external help, get a team that can help you to make your goal.
I read your posts. Forgive me if I am wrong, but it seemed like you are pretty scared of what you know you should do.  You seem to be hesitant about commiting to a plan, even one that has a shot at success.  Those feelings are normal. You just need to get the right team on board to help you get the job done.  So what if you can't do it alone.  Not many can, including me.  If you need help getting your life back, then so be it.
Oh... and forget about feelings like shame & guilt.  They serve no purpose other than keeping you down, much like "Da Man". :)
There's LOTS of people here that are eager to help.  Just hang out a while and post.  Odds are good you'll get some good advice along with an understanding person that's been there during the hard parts.
Peace,
Methman

by bmac, May 31, 2003 12:00AM
Right on my brother, Ain't life Grand! (sometimes)!
You know this brings back alot of memories having everyone posting again! It was just last Augaust I found this place all tore up and withdrawing. It is hard to believe that in these few months my life has changed in every way! Finding this place and all of you gave me something I was missing in life, friendship and a caring relationship. Well one out of two ain't bad huh? LOL

Rebecca, you understand now why we jump to help people, we were just there months ago. It hurts but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do no matter how bad it feels. **** it, let it go..................Bill

by oxic, May 31, 2003 12:00AM
To: REBECCA
Hello Rebecca and welcome here!!!

I see you've met two of my brothers.  We all certainly relate to your story.......BIGTIME.  Bmac and Methman have given you some great advice; and i couldn't agree more with Methman about UNLEARNING your habit.  

Don't be too hard on yourself about a previous unsuccessful tapering attempt.......you join many of us with that one.  It took me several attempts before i finally tapered off my 20+/day habit of percocet(of many years).....and on the 19th, it will be 10 months clean.  I really believe that some L-Tyrosine and Vitamin B-6 can help you through the blahs, around that 3-6 week clean period, also what feels like no-mans(ok ok, no-womans ) land.......when your body is still looking for the synthetic pain killers, and at the same time it's not sure it wants to produce its own natural pain killers(specifically dopamine!!!).  A great many of us here have used them(and the other ingredients of the Thomas Recipe), with very good results.  To illustrate my point, i always refer to my mother in law, who 7 months ago dtoxed off a major poly-drug habit spanning a couple decades(smoking cocaine, vicodan, xanax and booze)
She always caved when she quit in the past, for that exact reason.....crushing depression, and the general feeling that she was making the sequel to Mummy Returns.  You ask her what the Tyrosine/B-6 combo meant to her, and after instantaneously tearing up, will just keep saying how thankful she was/is to have found it.

And as has been said, it is great to have your husbands support.  My wife also was extremely supportive and helped me loads, However, remember as much love and support as he has for you, being a non-addict(I'm assuming?), there still can be unintentional shortfalls in the "TRULY relating" department.  Thats where this place, and the great folks that reside here come in to play.  I formed some incredibly strong friendships, in a relatively short period of time.....and all without ever meeting one of them........WE JUST RELATE to each other, and what we've been through or going thru.

I can without hesitation, say that it does get better, with each day/week/month that passes; and this is from someone who not that long ago thought he could never stop taking these goddamned pills.  First things first, get your tapering done, and then you can start to "relearn" your life.........and please believe me when i tell you i feel perfectly "normal" again(ok peazy, as normal as i get), and live life with a renewed vigor.  I would like to make  a comment about your tapering schedule.  It seems to be dragged out for a very long period of time.  Yes that will accomplish what tapering is intended to do in letting you down easier; but by stretching it out so long, you stand the risk of eroding your resolve to getting off these pills.

I'm going to copy and paste the Thomas Recipe, formulated by a good friend of ours here(where are you anyways Thomas?); and although it is designed for cold turkey detox, you can use it once you've tapered off your vikes.  Probably not requiring the benzo thats included in the recipe, as you've tapered off your meds.Thomas Detox Recipe

PLEASE NOTE: I am not a doctor, simply a long-time Rx opiate junkie who has had many opportunities to develop a way to detox. This is a recipe for at-home self-detox from opiates based on my experience as well as that of many other addicts. It is not intended as professional medical advice. It is always wise to make sure none of the recipe ingredients or procedures conflict with medications you may be taking. Likewise, if you have any medical condition, disease, allergy or any other health issue, consult your doctor before using the recipe. Thanks, Thomas

This recipe is designed for cold turkey opiate detox. It assumes that you can get about 5 to 7 days away from your job or household responsibilities during which you can sleep, veg and act as miserable as you feel. Opiate WD mimics the symptoms of the common flu, so, if you need a smokescreen, hide behind a bad case of the flu.

If you can't take time off to detox, I recommend you follow a taper regimen using your drug of choice or suitable alternate -- the slower the taper, the better.

For the Recipe, You'll need:

1. Valium (or another benzodiazepine such as Klonopin, Librium, Ativan or Xanax). Of these, Valium and Klonopin are best suited for tapering since they come in tablet form. Librium is also an excellent detox benzo, but comes in capsules, making it hard to taper the dose. Ativan or Xanax should only be used if you can't get one of the others.

2. Imodium (immodium) (over the counter, any drug or grocery store).

3. L-Tyrosine (500 mg caps) from the health food store.

4. Strong wide-spectrum mineral supplement with at least 100% RDA of Zinc, Phosphorus, Copper and Magnesium.

5. Vitamin B6 caps.

6. Access to hot baths or a Jacuzzi (or hot showers if that's all that's available).

How to use the recipe:

Begin your detox with regular doses of Valium (or alternate benzo). Start with a dose high enough to produce sleep. Before you use any benzo, make sure you're aware of how often it can be safely taken. Different benzos have different dosing schedules. Taper your Valium dosage down after each day. The goal is to get through day 4, after which the worst WD symptoms will subside. You shouldn't need the Valium after day 4 or 5.

During detox, hit the hot bath or Jacuzzi as often as you need to for muscle aches. Don't underestimate the effectiveness of hot soaks. Spend the entire time, if necessary, in a hot bath. This simple method will alleviate what is for many the worst opiate WD symptom.

Use the Imodium (immodium) aggressively to stop the runs. Take as much as you need, as often as you need it. Don't take it, however, if you don't need it.

At the end of the fourth day, you should be waking up from the Valium and experiencing the beginnings of the opiate WD malaise. Upon rising (empty stomach), take the L-Tyrosine. Try 2000 mgs, and scale up or down, depending on how you feel. You can take up to 4,000 mgs. Take the L-Tyrosine with B6 to help absorption. Wait about one hour before eating breakfast. The L-Tyrosine will give you a surge of physical and mental energy that will help counteract the malaise. You may continue to take it each morning for as long as it helps. If you find it gives you the "coffee jitters," consider lowering the dosage or discontinuing it altogether. Occasionally, L-Tyrosine can cause the runs. Unlike the runs from opiate WD, however, this effect of L-Tyrosine is mild and normally does not return after the first hour. Lowering the dosage may help.

With breakfast, take the mineral supplement.

As soon as you can force yourself to, get some mild exercise such as walking, cycling, swimming, etc. This will be hard at first, but will make you feel considerably better.

PLEASE NOTE: If you have any medical complications, first check with your doctor before detoxing to verify that this regimen is safe for you.


Rebecca, i think probably by now you get the idea........WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!  Please keep posting.


percs

by bmac, May 31, 2003 12:00AM
To: Percs/Rebecca
Well look what the cat dragged in, whatup?
Thanks for posting the 'famous' Thomas recipe!
I wish I had a dollar for everytime that one has been copy/pasted!

Rebecca, I told you there are alot of caring people here and so far you see what I meant, we are here for you! Bill

by peaz, Jun 01, 2003 12:00AM
To: Billy/oxic
"Monday, Monday"....Mamas and Papas, 1968    2:59  Cold start, fade ending......How about it?

by bmac, Jun 01, 2003 12:00AM
To: Peazy
all the leaves are brown              
                    (all the leaves are brown)
and the sky is grey
                (and the sky is grey).
Deal with that babe!

by peaz, Jun 01, 2003 12:00AM
To: Bill
Do, did my post go TOTALLY over your head??  I bet percs got it........

by bmac, Jun 01, 2003 12:00AM
To: Peazy
I got it. Monday being the key word here. I am not that dense, sothern yes, inbred no!

by oxic, Jun 01, 2003 12:00AM
To: P,Mac
perfect

by bmac, Jun 01, 2003 12:00AM
To: Aren't we clever?
Duh!!!!!!!
I need the 'chalk' on this one! Oh I am soooo full of it......!

by smilee77, Jun 02, 2003 12:00AM
hi everyone, this is my first time in this forum, I just got back from seeing my pain doctor, she told me that I am taking to many pain pills and its toxic to my body? that really scared me. I am perscribed 120 norco and 90 loritab per month. I want to quit, because I know I have become dependant on them. I have been taking them for about 2 years, can some one please tell me how I begin to become drug free. I'm very scared and I dont know what to expect. I work monday thru friday and I cant afford to take time off work to go through the withdrawls, is it possible to continue to work, while trying to quit this addiction of pain medication? I would appreciate any advice anyone could give me. I want to be around for my children and I know these could kill me if I dont get a handle on it now!!!!!!

                     sincerely, smilee77

by percsnomas, Jun 02, 2003 12:00AM
To: smilee77
Hi Smilee and welcome!!!

I think you've got a great start for the task at hand, by stating that you WANT TO QUIT.  That fear of quitting, we've all felt, and i always tell people that it is usually greater than it need be......  
The good news is, you are on a relatively "average to low" doseage...during the almost year that i've been here (at about 7 per day), and for a relatively shortish period of time(at 2 years).
I was up to 20+ percs/day for several years.

I successfully tapered off, while working and being a pseudo-daddy/husband.  Although it is a pretty tough go for the first week or so, it definately can be done!!!

You didn't mention your pain situation, but i'll assume you have that under control, and simply want to get off the meds/reclaim your life.

I would suggest a taper for you also, to let you down easier, and start by dropping to 5/day(if you in fact are at 7??)....staying at this doseage for 3-5 days or until you feel stabilized.  Then i would drop in one pill increments(for that approximate period, 3-5 days) all the way down to zero.

I believe since you stated you can't take time off work, cold turkey would be very difficult to pull off.
I would also read through the Thomas Recipe(that i'll copy and paste), for some most useful pointers during and after your detox.
If there is anything we can help you with, please please ask.  YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!

percs


Thomas Detox Recipe

PLEASE NOTE: I am not a doctor, simply a long-time Rx opiate junkie who has had many opportunities to develop a way to detox. This is a recipe for at-home self-detox from opiates based on my experience as well as that of many other addicts. It is not intended as professional medical advice. It is always wise to make sure none of the recipe ingredients or procedures conflict with medications you may be taking. Likewise, if you have any medical condition, disease, allergy or any other health issue, consult your doctor before using the recipe. Thanks, Thomas

This recipe is designed for cold turkey opiate detox. It assumes that you can get about 5 to 7 days away from your job or household responsibilities during which you can sleep, veg and act as miserable as you feel. Opiate WD mimics the symptoms of the common flu, so, if you need a smokescreen, hide behind a bad case of the flu.

If you can't take time off to detox, I recommend you follow a taper regimen using your drug of choice or suitable alternate -- the slower the taper, the better.

For the Recipe, You'll need:

1. Valium (or another benzodiazepine such as Klonopin, Librium, Ativan or Xanax). Of these, Valium and Klonopin are best suited for tapering since they come in tablet form. Librium is also an excellent detox benzo, but comes in capsules, making it hard to taper the dose. Ativan or Xanax should only be used if you can't get one of the others.

2. Imodium (immodium) (over the counter, any drug or grocery store).

3. L-Tyrosine (500 mg caps) from the health food store.

4. Strong wide-spectrum mineral supplement with at least 100% RDA of Zinc, Phosphorus, Copper and Magnesium.

5. Vitamin B6 caps.

6. Access to hot baths or a Jacuzzi (or hot showers if that's all that's available).

How to use the recipe:

Begin your detox with regular doses of Valium (or alternate benzo). Start with a dose high enough to produce sleep. Before you use any benzo, make sure you're aware of how often it can be safely taken. Different benzos have different dosing schedules. Taper your Valium dosage down after each day. The goal is to get through day 4, after which the worst WD symptoms will subside. You shouldn't need the Valium after day 4 or 5.

During detox, hit the hot bath or Jacuzzi as often as you need to for muscle aches. Don't underestimate the effectiveness of hot soaks. Spend the entire time, if necessary, in a hot bath. This simple method will alleviate what is for many the worst opiate WD symptom.

Use the Imodium (immodium) aggressively to stop the runs. Take as much as you need, as often as you need it. Don't take it, however, if you don't need it.

At the end of the fourth day, you should be waking up from the Valium and experiencing the beginnings of the opiate WD malaise. Upon rising (empty stomach), take the L-Tyrosine. Try 2000 mgs, and scale up or down, depending on how you feel. You can take up to 4,000 mgs. Take the L-Tyrosine with B6 to help absorption. Wait about one hour before eating breakfast. The L-Tyrosine will give you a surge of physical and mental energy that will help counteract the malaise. You may continue to take it each morning for as long as it helps. If you find it gives you the "coffee jitters," consider lowering the dosage or discontinuing it altogether. Occasionally, L-Tyrosine can cause the runs. Unlike the runs from opiate WD, however, this effect of L-Tyrosine is mild and normally does not return after the first hour. Lowering the dosage may help.

With breakfast, take the mineral supplement.

As soon as you can force yourself to, get some mild exercise such as walking, cycling, swimming, etc. This will be hard at first, but will make you feel considerably better.

PLEASE NOTE: If you have any medical complications, first check with your doctor before detoxing to verify that this regimen is safe for you.


by thetxhartclan, Jun 03, 2003 12:00AM
To: Everyone - Tuesday
Good morning to all, and thank you to Bmac, and everyone else for the awesome support.  I did see my doctor yesterday for my next 10 days worth of pills, and I told him how I was feeling about going from 5 to 4 per day, and he was VERY understanding.  He told me that I can stay at 5 a day for 2 months if need be, whatever makes this taper successful.  I agreed to stay on the 5 per day for at least this 10 days, then decide next week on the next dose.  I feel really good about this.  I am sticking to my taper and feel much better that I am DOING it!  And yes, my husband is a wonderful support, even though he doesn't "get it" - he has never used.  I guess what I sounded scared of in my post was failing.  It is one of my fears.  But, things seem to be going well for right now, and for that I am thankful.  I like that there is not a lot of pressure on me from my doc, but at the same time I don't want to use this a a crutch to stay on 5 for 2 months.  My doc didn't actually "threaten" me with rehab, but rather said that if this taper did not work then I may be well served to seek a professional in the field.  No one at work even knows I take the Vike's.  And I do have chronic pain in my migraines.  I guess I got the migraine gene from my mother, her mother, and my great grandmother.  I have bad times with them, and times where I can go a few weeks with no migraine.  To make it worse, I am allergic to the triptans, so that cuts out those as migraine treatment.  

I appreciate all of the support I have received, and I plan on sticking around.  Several people have asked me "what I need" from this group, and I guess the answer is just that - "support."  People who know what I am going through and understand.  You all seem very supportive, and I thank you!!

Now, I have to actually do some work, so that people get paid here!  I am an accountant/office manager for a man who owns 21 KFC's, so I have a lot of people when it comes to payroll.  

Thank you all again.  

Rebecca

by mrmichael67, Jun 03, 2003 12:00AM
To: Smiley77
What is your pain situation?  And, how are you taking your meds?  Do you take them as prescribed?  The meds can be toxic to your body because of the acetaminophen in them, not the opiate.....depending on how you take them.  Of course if you abuse them, opiates can damage as well.  But, if you are having pain that needs to be controlled, that is a serious issue.  Uncontrolled pain can be very destructive as well.  If you can, please let me know how you are taking the meds.

by bmac, Jun 03, 2003 12:00AM
To: thetxhartclan
Hell, I'll take 'my fee' in Chicken. I do live in Alabama where we eat Fried Chicken most everyday gurl! Jesus Christ, I need a pay check too!
Seriously, we know what you mean by 'support' believe me. It's why after 10 months I still came back here! For support! See I am a chronic pain patient that is also a addict! So I am really screwed up! I hate meds but I have to take them and I love to get high. I have these fights within me and I always stop cold turkey and punish myself over the guilt with withdrawing.I can't remember how many times I have withdrawn from opaites like(morphine,Oxycontin,methadone,lortab) So I need support too! You have come to the right place for that!
See, you can listen too! We all need each other! Peace!
                Bill

by thetxhartclan, Jun 04, 2003 12:00AM
To: Bmac
Man, I gotta say the board has gone bugfuck the past couple of days.  I am still here, just trying to read through all the threads.  Still doing all right, whatever that is.  I'm here to listen as well, anytime.

Rebecca

by NEW ORLEANS LADY, Jun 04, 2003 12:00AM
To: bmac/Everyone
I need some advice from a fellow southerner and Chronic pain patient--After reading all of your posts I think you and I are in the same boat as far as needing the drugs for pain and "loving" them for the high--I have been having a really rough time lately especially with the pain aspect and I'm worried that if I don't get this pain thing under control I will cave and I'll be back on the hydrocodone merri-go-round--I too have detoxed many times from these demons but for some reason the pain came back with a vengnece this time--Before--Advil pretty much kept everything in check but that doesn't seem to be the case this time--I keep hoping that things will settle down but my quality of life really sucks right now--Maybe there is something to this post withdrawal syndrome ****--I enjoy your posts--you have helped a lot of people including me-- Thanks--Peace--Prayers--N.O. Lady/AKA Mystere

Anne--P.S.--Sweet Home Alabama--Where the Skies are So Blue
I pull for Alabama except when they play LSU!

by bmac, Jun 05, 2003 12:00AM
To: New Orleans Lady
God if I had a dollar for everytime I have played the song! I'd be rich. Thanks for the comment. I needed that too.
I am a pain patient first and I still struggle with taking the meds. I have been high since 1989 and I can tell you it ain't a pretty sight, ask Peazy! LOL
I am struggling also. I am on Oramorph(MS contin) and it is a great pain killer but I am also broke out with a rash all over my body and girlI mean all over my body. I havetaken Kadian(morphine) in the past with no problems at all. So yesterday I stopped the Oramorph and I am taking norco's(lortab 10) until next Monday when I'll prolly go on Oxy contin. So you see I have no choice except to live in pain or take my meds. Legal scripts I should say too.(referring to the drug habit remarks from Goatdude). Until about 14 days ago I was struggling to the point I thought I would just give in but thanks to some incredible friends(you know who you are) and a certain well lets say a certain DJ I know helped me save what life I have left and actually am as happy now as I have ever been. Well once this damn rash goes away! LOL If you ever wanna ask me a question and I am not here my addy is ***@****. Also I have been to N.O. many times and have spent alot of time on N.Rampart Street in a litttle shop called Art Accent Tattoos by Jacci.
I love that town and have played there many many times. I am a bassplayer If you didn't know that!( I am still thinkng about the DJ comment) sorry! Anyway thanks and if you ever need anything email me and I'll be right there! Bmac

by NEW ORLEANS LADY, Jun 05, 2003 12:00AM
To: bmac/Everyone
Thanks so much for responding!  Well I woke up today feeling pretty damn good--No pain--I guess things do get better with time--I can't tell you what your support and the support from everyone here means--I would have lost my sanity long ago if it weren't for this forum--I'm so glad you are doing better! Thanks again for the E-mail address---I'm not too swift with this computer and I haven't quite mastered the intricacies of E-Mail but I'll try when I get home--lots of love--Take care--peace Prayers N.O. Lady/Mystere

Anne

by peaz, Jun 05, 2003 12:00AM
To: Anne
"What a Difference a Day Makes" Etta James, 1956,    :10 intro,2:45 fade......You are doing so much better than a couple of days ago!  You apologized for a whiney post  a bit ago, but   1) it wasn't ,  and   2) even if it was, if you can't say what you need to say, then what good is this forum??  So I encourage you to vent QOD PRN...LOL   Don't change a thing!!  And watch out for that Bama Bum!!!   Love--Peazy

by bmac, Jun 05, 2003 12:00AM
To: Hey Peazy
Bama bum, you have been talking to my next ex haven't you, shame shame. I love Etta James and I have all of her cd's, all of them I mean. I'd rather go blind is one of my all time favs!
Now go tell her I ain't bad damn it! NOW!  Bill

by APatcher, Mar 04, 2008 01:20AM
To: Goldie
If you are really only taking 2½ tramadol pills every 24 hours, the withdrawal from that should be light if you decrease your dose. The half life of tramadol is approximately 6 to 9 hours. By the end of the day, you should certainly have past enough time to metabolize the half life plus another half of that. After 20+ hours, there is very little tramadol left in your system (if you're only taking 2½ pills each day).

If you're down to 2½ pills from 15, you should be very near the end of the tapering down process. The worst of the weaning should be over for you. I realize everyone metabolizes differently, but 2½ pills over a 24 hour period is a very low dose of Ultram. Unless you have liver or kidney issues that are preventing the metabolizing, almost all the tramadol should by out of your system after 24 hours (when taking 2½ pills per day, that is)

I have had extensive experience with tramadol withdrawal (4 times). I also feel cheated like some of the others here. I was told it was non-addictive and that I would not get a buzz from it. My doctor actually told me it was "a wonderful drug". I had been off the stuff for a couple years when all of a sudden my back went out. I ended up on tramadol again, and I was pissed!!!  It was like the addiction was worse than ever before. The symptoms of addiction got worse every time I went back on it. At my worst, I was up taking over 40 of the 50mg tramadol pills every day. My face looked all gaunt and sickly. My eyes were so messed up because they looked red, bulged out, and/or glassy. I was taking tramadol instead of eating many times.

In the beginning, I would get an anti-depressant effect from tramadol. Somewhere along the line, the drug turned on me like a back-stabber, and it actually caused me to feel deep dark depression. However, if I tried to stop, I would get sick with withdrawal.

I swore off the stuff dozens of times... only to end up ordering more within a couple days. It may sound corny, but I had to pray desperately for help to whatever Higher Power created the world. I also had to try to keep busy as much as possible. I actually ended up using a lot of the AA and NA principles to get off this stuff.

At first, I went from 40 pills to 18 pills per day. I felt kind of icky for about 3 days when I did that, but nothing like the severe withdrawal of going cold turkey. Then I decreased the dose by two pills each day. I went from 18 to 16 to 14 to 12 to 10. Once I got down to 8 pills, I decreased the dose by a half a pill each day (or by half a pill every other day if I started to feel crappy).

Anyway, once I finally got down to 3 pills per day, I would just wait as long as I could until I started to feel withdrawal symptoms and then take a half of a pill or a quarter of a pill every 30 minutes until the symptoms were bearable. Then I would be OK for about 8 hours. I just kept spacing it out longer and longer until I could finally go without it. I was taking little chips every few hours by the end. The whole process took me 2 to 3 weeks.

The hard part for me was sticking to the dosage decrease schedule. -- If you have bad day and end up taking a step backwards by going up in dose instead of down, you just have to get right back on schedule the next day.

by fiesty853, Aug 13, 2008 07:56PM
To: Anyone
I just found this site and the last post was 2003. I am 55yrs. old and addicted to Hydocodone and have been taking it for 10 years. I had chronic back pain to start with and had back surgery. Before that I started taking Codeine because I saw how it gave my husband energy and stopped his pain, then I went to Hydro. I want to start the taper method and I have said everytime I get the pills I will and don't. This time I have prayed and really mean it but I am scared of WD symptoms. I don't have a Dr and no insurance so I buy them from anybody I can or if I find someone who has them I give them a sob story about my back pain which I do have but not like I say. I have in every way become a liar, thief and feel like the worst human in the world. I have 2 sons and  grandchildren that I don't want to know how bad I am addicted, this is something I cannot deal with especially my grandchildren. I just had to say this to someone, I have not told anyone this before and I cant't sleep and feel so worthless now. Please someone get back to me and give me some advice. I feel better just saying what I have become and yes I have pills in me now, but the sad part is they don't make me feel as good as they used to. Sometimes when I take them I just feel like I'm going to puke and feel as low as whale **** on the bottom of the ocean. Whoever reads this thank-you for reading it and taking time, also sometimes I take up to 10, 10 mgs a day and I know it is bad. I have went cold turkey before and thought I was going to die, it got so bad that my speech was stuttery and I couldn't get words out and it scared me the worst I have ever been. I am praying the tapering will work for me.      Thank-You Fiesty

by leeann380, Feb 19, 2009 12:58PM
To: anyone
hello i am a 30 yr old and i take hydro i have never done more than 5 a day and it  was 10 mg each i took my last half of a pill this am at 640 i want to go buy some so bad but i dont to please help

by Ron264, Apr 12, 2009 05:35PM
hello all my name is Ron.I  am taking 2 10 mg of methadone a day.I am a oppiate addict trying to get off of them.How do I ween myself off the methadone.I dont take hydro's at all while on the metadone and I really want to quit the methadone.Please help,ron

by Ron264, Apr 12, 2009 06:02PM
To: mrmichael67
I am going to try what you said,breaking the pills to 1/4.I hope I  can do it.

by Ron264, Apr 12, 2009 08:28PM
there is no postings in here,except for years ago .Bye all
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