hubby went to work :*(

[momwithnosleep]

I know I am luckier than some to have my awesome husband by my side every step of the way with me through this. He was at work Friday when I took my last 1/2 Noco. But I was running roads to drs appts so even though the anxious feelings were outrageous and about noon that day the "charlie horses" were full force, it wasn't that bad.

Then Sat & Sun he and kids were here. He could look at me & know and just do what he does to remind me of why i am doing this!!  We did have flushing ceremonies for all the meds I am clean from so they are not tempting me. I only got them by script so getting more isn't an issue. Last flushing ceremony will be the xanax tonight. YAY!!!!

My kids are at school so that helps. I am concerned with my 9 yr old twins noticing.

Even though I Am VERY fresh at being clean,I am still clean.

Each day I tell someone close in my life about my addiction AND my sobriety!!!!  I FIND THAT IS HELPING A GREAT DEAL. I even told this one face to fafe & WITHOUT crying!!! (Not a crier, never have been but I have been a blubbering fool)

This site has been just as helpful as my husband and mom. Thank you all SOOOOO very much. Those who have been there done that as well as those in my same situation!!!

[momwithnosleep]

Thanks guys

[VICourageous]

Nice Job! Just keep your head up high and keep stepping forward. Changes and Blessing are going to come in for you as well! Always keep that Armour on against this Disease.
Yes! I would not be where I am today if it was not for my Supporting Hub of 28yrs and this site as well as my outside Support at those meetings.
Wishing you the Best!
Bless

[momwithnosleep]

5 1/2 years I had a pinched nerve because of DDD and was pretty much wheelchair bound. I had a lumbar fusion on my L5. Recovered completely. Pain free for about 1 yr then i started getting small pinches here & there again but nothing like before. Dr told me L4 and S1 were messed up and started me on meds.

For about 4 years i have been on hydrocodone of different strengths. Flexeril & Nuerontin off & on when it got bad.

3 years ago tramadol was added. & Like the hydro slowly increased.

Because of pain, not being able to take care of my kids and rls 2 years ago I was put on xanax. a year later celexa was added.

Within the past year I noticed I was running out of meds, lied to husband & told him screw up at drs office. Being the smart and AMAZING man I married about 6 months ago he took the norco and locked them up. Every night he would give me my night time one and leave 3 in a pill box for the next day while he was at work. After that I noticed because they were there and there was NO way to get an extra was ALL I could think about.

Fast fwd to 2 months ago. I was on the following...

Tramadol 300
Norco 10/325 4 per day
Xanax 1mg daily (occasional 2mg a day)
Flexeril 10mg 3 per day
Nuerontin 600mg 3 per day

Looking back now....WOW

2 months ago i tappered off the tramadol,

then within the past month i stopped taking flexeril & gabapentin regularly.

Last week on Tue (May 6th) I took my 4 norco. That night my 9 year old's blood sugar decided to go crazy. (Diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at 2 1/2 yrs old)
As I was up trying to get it under control (something I have done a MILLION times in the past) I found myself destracted, my mind wondering. I finally got 2 hours sleep. When I woke up on Wed I took 1/2 pill instead of 1. My next one wasn't until bedtime that night. Friday when I woke up I took 1/2 pill. Sat I took none. Sat night we had a flushing party. I flushed approx 40 norco Sat night.

I am doing the Thomas Method minuz the xanax but I did give in and xanax trying to get sleep on sat night before the anxiety, anxiousness & RLS were about to land me in a crazy house. I was Literaly flailing around the bed like a mad person. Ended up taking 2 1/2 Xanax. I spaced a few more out but flushed them Mon night.

Everything is going great except I broke a tooth today. Cant get to dentist until Friday. So far it doesn't hurt. Hopefully it stays that way.

Oh and there has been ZERO back pain in this process also.

[Bigdaddy1313]

Your are making some great choices and it will be a rough several days but I can promise you it is well worth it. I struggled with pain meds and Xanax for a few years and was taking enough of both to kill a horse. Luckily I'm not a horse! Anyway have you been taking a lot of Xanax. Be very careful with CT on Xanax because it can be very dangerous. I would like to know how much you were taking of both so I may be able to give you some solid suggestions. I've been clean for 16 months and it is so nice to wake up in the morning instead of coming too. It is so nice to know I don't have to chase pills and worry about running out. Support is so important so give your husband kudos from me. My wife was awesome and so helpful in my recovery. Like you said it is important to talk with other recovering addicts. Let me know if you get the time on your dosages. Thanks, BD

[Merri123]

You are doing awesome. Just keep on going. Do to worry about the twins. Mommy doesn't feel too good. You are very blessed.