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hydrocodone/help
by Mrs.robinson, Oct 30, 2001 12:00AM
I've been doing hydrocodone/apap 10/650 for 3 years now. I started out only doing 10 a month and have worked up to 10 a day! I recently lost my job (due in part to Sept.11) so I no longer have health insurance and, of course, not enough money coming in to support this habit. I was no longer getting "high" on this amount and just do not want to continue this whole addiction anyway. I tried to find Thomas's detox recipe but could not. I am only 6 hours into giving then up and my body is already screaming...can I go cold turkey????? My boyfriend layed out my usual dose for today on my dresser last night before leaving and they are just begging me to eat them. (I had asked him not to leave them since I had shared with him my intentions, but he told me I could not do it cold turkey) Is he right???? I tried several times to cut back and to wean myself off but that did not work for me either. There's no way I could afford help right now...NO WAY. I'm too old to be doing these things...48 and have had hepitis c since I was 18. I feel as if these things have hurt my liver and my kidneys. Could I be right? Any help would be appreciated. Mrs. Robinson
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LOL and good luck, RG
I was wondering whether you've had any treatment for it and whether it worked. I had to quit my job over 20 months ago and go on SSDI.
Another forum member and I were discussing my lack of withdrawals when I periodically go off my pain meds. Maybe, people with hepatitis normally feel so bad most of the time that they don't know they are in WD's? At any rate, if you are able to stay clean of the Lorcet, I'm sure you liver will be much happier.
Best of luck to you!
J.B.
I would try weining off the meds, it is very hard to go cold turkey. Maybe your boyfriend could help with that.
Thomas' recipe is listed in one or two threads down.
It couldn't be helping your liver, so if you really want to stop, you should for many reasons.
Stay around here, this board is full of support!
Best of luck!
Lv Jenny
welcome to this forum! there is always room for one more here!
many people have gotten off hydro and oxy by using Thomas's
detox. i know it works for me. I take 120 mg of oxy-c a day and
use Thomas's detox aproximately every 21 days. the withdrawals
are very slight for me, but this could be due to the fact i push
a pain level between 7.5 - 9+! try looking in the older postings
and he may haveit posted or perhaps some on the forum has a copy
they can post for you. your boy friends right don't do this a-
lone! if you have enough pills to do a mpderately fast taper,
that may be the way to go!
best of luck and the gods speed!
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
JB, I have had hep c for 30 years...no treatment...liver ensyems good up til a few months ago...don't know if I'm allowed to post my email address so that I could write you more about the hep????
God, bless each and everyone of you, as I hope He does for Mrs.Robinson!
Cold turkey is hell, to be honest and blunt. I tried for a long time to taper, but found that I just did not have the self control to taper down. I kept blowing it, over and over.
So for me, cold turkey was the option I choose. Thomas's recipe helped a lot, as did adding 5 HTP (an amino acid supplement). The 5 HTP helps tons with the depression that comes during and post detox.
I actually did a modified cold turkey back in august, in that on the first night of the withdrawal week, I took one pill, then on subsequent nights kept cutting it down till I was taking 1/4 of a pill. This at least helped me deal with the "wanting to crawl out of my skin" feeling, and let me get a teeny bit of sleep. The other thing that helped was the emotional support I got, prayer, writing in my journal, and the commitment to take the detox one hour at a time, so I always felt that I had a choice if it got too bad.
I will say though, I'm glad (now that it is over) that I went cold turkey, because for me, the memory of how awful the withdrawals were is a major help in preventing me from relapse.
I'm with the others here though...if you can manage to taper, then definately taper. It is much easier that way. If you find that you are like me and can't stick with a taper, you can always try cold turkey later.
Just be sure to have lots of hot baths available to you, and acupuncture if you can afford it (it helps enormously to get the body producing its own endorphins again, and diminishes the creepy crawly feeling you get in withdrawals)
I'm so glad you found us! Welcome to the most supportive, loving group on the net. Please post and tell us how it is going. I particularly find that when someone posts about how they are getting clean and what they are going through, it helps me TONS...it helps me stay clean and helps me keep my heart open.
by the way, it is fine to post your email address.
lots of love, and good luck..
WW
How long did it take you before you started to feel somewhat 'normal' again. In body and in mind?
Oh how i miss i could just feel 'normal' again. I take very minimal doses during the day, while at work (just enough to get me by so i'm not creepy crawling around)... but by the time i get home in the evening, and have to deal with my three children, MAN, i can't get to the 'stuff' fast enough. I practically mow the kids down to get into the house just so i can feel 'normal' again. So picture this, me and three kids running to the door as quick as possible, screaming open it open it!!!!! You have to find some humor in all the sadness of addiction.
Sigh, I just wish i were me again!
Lv Jenny
This forum is the best i've ever seen, none out there even compare. I've seen boards that talk about practically nothing other than scoring.
But you do have to have a little humor in such a dark world at times, and I think that we are always very conscience on just how far to push things.
Love you all!!!
Jenny
It took at least a full month before I felt completely normal again. A full month from the end of the withdrawal week, so really it took 5 weeks. After the worst of the wds were over (5 days), I still had stomache cramps for a while, and I had the most intense fatigue and lethargy. Getting up to walk a few steps to the kitchen was a major ordeal. It was very nasty. The lethargy was over after about 2 weeks, or at least was much better by then.
I started the 5 HTP after about 3 weeks, and within days I started feeling relief from the depression.
The insomnia also lasted a while. I had to go a couple of nights with no sleep aids whatsoever before my body finally got the message that it had to start sleeping on its own again.
Once it is behind you though, suddenly you remember what it is like to feel normal. You remember what real energy feels like.
I love feeling my own energy again, and honoring my body's need for rest when I am tired (rather than just take more pills to give me the boost to keep going).
I'm also lucky that at least for now, my back pain is way better. I've joined a gym, and am doing cardio excercise on elypitical machines, and it is helping my back tons. I'm starting to believe that I will be able to dance again someday soon!
It just takes a lot of determination to get clean. Determination,support, higher power connections, and a willingness to love yourself through the pain. But it is doable. I'm living proof. I still deal with cravings, but the support I get here and the memory of the WDs help me handle them.
lots of love,
WW
Thomas
I mananged to do only one hydro yesterday...took a valium and part of a xanax(SP) and slept thru the night...have a valium hang over this morning which I have always hated...never did like those drugs for the nerves...but always loved those "downs"!
Don't know what yall are talking about with Dr. Steve since I'm new but please keep me informed as to where I can keep in touch
FIVE WEEKS to feel normal?????? God, I just don't know!!! Everyone in my household still expected dinner cooked and everything else on just my first day of coming off!!!! And everyone in my house has their own addictions so I just don't know how I'm going to accomplish this task at hand...keep me in your thoughts and prayers....Mrs. Robinson
Sounds like you're doing great. You've got more guts than I do. I'm on my third day and each evening I still need at least 7.5 hydro, 1 xanax, 1 klonopin, 1 ambien and some antihistamines to almost sleep through the night. I still wake with gut wrenching dread (although today I actually feel slightly better), am unable to eat most of the day, and feel creepy in general. Thankfully, I have an understanding husband who pampers me when i come home, makes me tea, brings me some food and just sits and talks to me (although he still believes that I am simply suffering from an acute depressive episode, which it is also, so I'm not totally lying). So I totally admire you being able to get by on so little so fast and still maintain your household responsibilities. I have no motivation or enegty to do anything without my pills. Well, keep posting us with your progress and keep up the good work girl, you're a strong one. Love Rocket Girl
First, let me just say I'm really sorry to hear you are in this situation....whatever happened sounds very dangerous, and like it was a major wakeup call for you. I don't think you've been taking them long enough to do any major damage to your liver, but I'm not a Doc, so I'm just going by what I think.
If you have been taking 10 a day for 3 months, you will go through withdrawals if you just stop cold turkey. 20 is not very much to taper with, but you can do a modified fast taper.
Search in the thread below this for Thomas's detox recipe..it helps ease the discomfort. If you can't find it, post again and ask one of us to repost it for you.
If I were you, with 20 to taper, the schedule I would pick is this:
Day 1 5 pills, spread through the day, saving one for just before sleep
Day 2 4 pills, same schedule, be sure you have one for nighttime.
Day 3 try to go to 3 a day
Day 4 3 again
Day 5 2
Day 6 1
Day 7 try none.
This won't be easy, and it would be a fast taper, so you would still feel withdrawals. You can't die from hydrocodone detox though, you just feel miserable. Shaky, sweaty, creepy crawlies on the skin, extremely restless, depressed, bad diarhea (diarrhea).
Thomas's recipe has ingrediants to help with all the symptoms, which will ease it for you.
It also helps to get support from people. Post here. Go to an NA meeting, reach out for help if you can. Find a therapist or a treatment center, especially if you have insurance.
Please let us know how you are doing, and reach out. We are here, and will be with you every step of the way if you want us to be.
love,
WW
Without further adieu, here is Thomas's recipe. Try also adding the supplement 5 HTP , 100mgs a day (you can safely take up to 300 mgs a day, but start low and see if that works for you. 100mg a day works great for me..you can get it in health food stores)
Detox Recipe
For what it's worth, I'm going to re-print my cold turkey detox recipe for Lortabs/Vicodin/Norco (yes, with the right combo of drugs and non-drug therapies, you can detox yourself from this drug). I know, because I developed this formula in order to detox myself from a seventy-five (yes, 75) vicodin per day habit. So, here it is. If you're going to do it, follow it to the letter or it won't work. The one rx drug you'll need to make it really work is some kind of benzo like valium, klonopin, librium, xanax, ativan, etc. So, if you have any relatives that can help you out with one of these drugs (or a doctor, of course) the benzos wll help make the results much more successful ... but if you can't, the recipe can still work ...
Here's my tried-and-true do-it-yourself "cold turkey" detox protocol.
Supplies you'll need first:
As many Valium, Xanax, Librium, Ativan or Klonopin as you can get your hands on.
--- first day off the opiate, use enough Valium or whatever, to, if possible, sleep through most of the first couple days. Then start decreasing the dose until you're down to nothing in about 5 or 6 days. You'll have to do the math. The Valium or one of its sister drugs will help tremendously with the anxiety and, somewhat, with the body aches. Valium may make you eat like a pig and, when withdrawing from narcotics, one usually craves sweets, so I'd be ready to indulge myself with lots of treats, along with some good escapist movies to take your mind off of everything. That always worked for me.
VERY IMPORTANT: Around-the-clock access to either hot baths or a Jacuzzi.
--speaking of those goddamn thigh cramps that seem to love to show up in the middle of the night, have that hot bath or Jacuzzi at the ready. Don't hesitate to spend the majority of the week in that hot water if that's what it takes to get you through it. You may be wrinkled, but you'll have your sanity. Don't underestimate what the hot baths can do to relieve the withdrawal discomfort. They really, really work. Heating pads between the thighs can help with those cramps, too, but not nearly as much as the hot baths.
Brand-name-only Imodium (immodium) (over the counter at the supermarket. Don't ask me why, but the brand name just works better.)
-- if you're a normal Lortab/Vicodin addict, you'll be getting the runs by no later than the second or third day off the lortab. In my experience, it's an especially unpleasant variety. At the first impulse, take two or three Imodium (immodium) and respond to returning urges with two tabs. It's important that you do it at the slightest rumbling from your guts. Imodium (immodium) is also an opioid class drug and, even though it's action is mostly confined to that part of the brain that affects bowel motility, I noticed a slight relief from the overall withdrawal feeling when I took the Imodium (immodium) -- just don't overdose on the stuff thinking it will relieve all the withdrawal symptoms - it won't - it will just constipate the hell out of you at very high doses. Stick to the dosages I recommended.
Now, this is very important to short- and long-term recovery - I can't emphasize this one enough: L-Tyrosine [NOT L-Lysine] (qty 50 of the 500mg caps) - an amino acid freely available at the health food store. Costs about 12 bucks a bottle.
WHY?
Chronic use of narcotics depletes the brain of several critical neurotransmitters responsible for well-being and mental performance and attitude.
Plus:
Bottle of 100 mg B6 caps (the B6 helps the L-Tyrosine be absorbed)
Plus, high-potency magnesium and zinc supplements. You may have to buy each in separate pills.
My experience detoxing with L-Tyrosine says take 4000 (four thousand) mg. (8x500mg caps of L-Tyrosine) with two 100mg B6 caps along with your zinc/magnesium supplement every day for your "detox week" to provide your brain with the raw material it needs to replenish its stores of these neurotransmitters. Many feel the difference on the very first dose. (I did, big time!!) ***Take it on an empty stomach, either first thing in the morning or at bedtime. You can continue this regimen after the first week if it continues to make you feel good. I continue to use L-Tyrosine every other day with very few exceptions, although now I cut my dose to 1500 mg of L-Tyrosine. I cut down on the dosage because it can cause the runs at high doses. But for your first week, you need the high dose of L-Tyrosine and should just put up with the runs. It only happens once after each dose (if it happens at all) and it's not the "burning runs" that you get from withdrawal. It also happens within the first hour and won't return, so it's something you can plan on. Also, the Imodium (immodium) just might cancel out the runs, anyway. So, it's livable at least for that first week. Besides, the L-Tyrosine will make you feel so damn good so quickly, you won't care! You'll be looking forward to your morning L-Tyrosine dose, believe me! L-Tyrosine will make you feel alert without being nervous, peaceful without feeling sedated, and just generally GOOD, despite the withdrawal. It's truly THE discovery of opiate withdrawal therapy.
Multi-vitamins (most junkies don't eat too well, so this one's just for good sense).
According to some literature, you also need to add copper, phosphorus and Vitamin C to fully complete the dopamine, norepinephrine conversion. You might have to do some hunting at the health food store to find the right vitamin or vitamins to supply all this stuff. Health food stores generally care multis that, instead of carrying every vitamin known to man, carry instead all the "metals" we need such as copper, Magnesium, zinc, phosporous,etc. I easily found a multiple that contained large doses of zinc, magnesium, copper, vitamin C and lots of other things for very little money. In any event, I got a VERY good result from just the L-Tyrosine and B6 alone. Don't let any difficulty finding the whole laundry list of minerals and metals stop you from using the L-Tyrosine and B6 -- it works like gangbusters anyway!
By the way, the zinc and magnesium tip was supplied by a contributor to this site called "pillpoppa" who claimed it was the magic formula for recovering from long-term methadone use, so it sounds like an important part of the formula. Even though I never used methadone, I was using this multiple with large doses of zinc and magnesium (without realizing it) and, at first, I couldn't figure out why I felt so good so quickly after stopping the Lortabs. Then I realized I was getting all that zinc and mag with my multiple! Pillpoppa's formula really does work, my friend. So, don't skip any of the instructions I've given you here. Add it up, and it doesn't cost as much as a visit to the doc for a big fat Lortab rx! Remember: all the details of my recipe are necessary to complete recovery.
WARNING: Avoid L-Tyrosine if you're on an SSRI (serotonin reuptake inhibitor) such as Prozac, Effexor, Paxil, all those kinds of psychiatric mood elevators, etc.
Remember, despite what the goddamn doc might like you to believe, you haven't done anything wrong. You're a normal, decent human being who's fallen into the trap these modern medications have set for us all. You're not alone, and will never be alone as long as you come to this site. Believe me, we've ALL been where your at. We understand you and accept you and will support you through your trials. Lean on us if it helps. That's what we're here for.
Your friend,
Thomas
Butterbean
As far as I know, paxil should not counteract the effect of the narcotic. My best guess is that your tolerance level is high, or that maybe someone stole the real contents of your prescription and replaced them with regular tylenol or something.
I will confess that in my active using days, a few times I took pills from other people's prescriptions and replaced them with a muscle relaxer called Robaxin. I did that when my husband had a vicodin prescription once, and I remember him commenting that he must just not be very sensitive to vicodin, 'cause it was not helping his pain.
I feel ashamed at having done this. It is memories such as those that help me stay clean now. Definately not something I am proud of having done, but maybe someone did that to your prescription. Paxil doesn't make people less sensitive to narcotics as far as I know.
How are you doing otherwise Butterbean? It's nice to see you post..I've been wondering how you are doing.
love,
WW
Power & Magick 2 U,
Wiz
Love Butterbean
This will be hard for me to admit, but it is time that I face this problem I have. Addiction to Vicoprofen, I do have a genuine
reason for taking it, I have multiple vertebral degenerations, that do cause me pain, but I in my heart of hearts feel that I could deal with it without taking medications. But, I have been on Vicoprofen for 5 years, and before that, Vicodin.
I am 62 years old, I am also a retired professional health care worker, who SHOULD have known the degree of addiction that I was getting into.
I take 4 pills a day, no more, no less, but now I am facing surgery for a torn knee cartilage, and I am scared to death to have the pre-op medication Versed that they said they are going to give me before I am brought into the surgical area.
As a therapist, I know the problems of respiratory depression that can be created by the interaction of these drugs, and I am for the first time in my life, totally frightened.
I need to know if anyone out there has ever been given Versed for a pre-op while they were on Vicoprofen, I need to know if there was any problems, and I do know that everyone responds differently, I am just asking for a little insight into what I can expect.
Thanks for allowing me to be expressed in this forum, sometimes you haveto reach out to only those who have been through it, I'm reaching!
Popi, yes..I can comment on your question. Four vicoprofen a day should not pose too big a problem with your surgery. I recently had a discogram and an IDET (a surgical back procedure). Both these were done with versed as the sedative, and I had continued to take the vicoprofen. I had been taking about 15 vicoprofen a day. My Doc knew, and tol d me it was fine, that they would not interact badly with each other. It did man my tolerance was high and it took more than average to sedate me. And it was fine. I'll admit, I loved the versed...oh my, it was a good floating feeling! I've had it several times (I've had 5 surgeries in the past 6 years and they used versed each time). Versed is a synthetic narcotic that is very strong, and induces an extremely pleasant feeling. I'm told that I was quite talkative during the D&C I had, where they used Versed to sedate me. I asked the nurse if I had said anything to embarrass myself and she said "Honey, you kept us smiling and laughing, but trust me, you DON"T want to know what you said" LOL
My advice is to let your Doc know what you are taking and how much and they'll take good care of you.
Hey there Katie...I do think your concern about having a high tolerance to the pain meds is a valid one. It will mean that you won't get as good pain relief post op as you'd wish you could get. I had the same problem right after my back surgery. My tolerance was sooo damn high that I basically got little to no pain relief, even with morphine. If you can taper down as much as possible before your surgery, it will be well worth it, so you can be spared the excess pain.
Thanks for sharing that you also replaced your husband's pills with another med. Makes me feel less alone in having done something like that.
lots of love,
WW
J.B.
versed is not a narcotic (although it is usually given with an o-
piate). midazolam (versed) is a C-4 sedative. It alos induces amnesia. You shouldn't have any trouble with versed, except it may
take more than the standard dose. doctors and nurses take a dim
view of anyone waking up during surgery, so perhaps the an anes-
thesiologist should know about your hydrocodone intake. Good luck.
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
Thanks to all of you for your input into my problem with the fears of facing surgery.
As I stated before, I was in the medical field for years, and I guess it is not too healthy mentally to know as much as I do.
I have many times questioned what degree of neurosis the Vicoprofen has upon me. I do know that before I started on this stuff, I was fairly normal mentally, but I DO feel that I have suffered a degradation in my mental capacitys.
Oh great, while I was typing this, my granddaughter fell off the couch, and in my haste to get up to help her, I twisted my left knee, I can't beleive this, now I haveto go have it checked out!!! Darn, I gotta go now, thanks everyone, it is really nice to know that there are people out there who will listen to you and try to help, even though they do not know you, Bless you all, I will let you know what happened.
Popi
Witchywoman, as usual thanks for your response. You are a big help to me and I am sure to many others. I too, have degenerative disks, and a small hematoma on my back. The docs over the years have said that the hematoma had nothing to do with my back pain, but, a PT I had about 6 years ago disagreed. My doc now said he was going to review my MRI and possibly do a new one. When you were operated on, what exactly did they do to fix your back? They have not offered me surgery, and I don't think I would do it even if they did. Take care of yourself, and keep up the "cleaness". You are very lucky and strong. One day soon, I am going to stop taking these meds!!! I will continue the Paxil though, as I do need it for depression and anxiety.
Popi, glad you started posting. I am also sorry you hurt yourself. Believe me, I know grandchildren can keep you hopping! I too am about to maybe face a surgery, not back surgery though. I am worried also about being put under the knife while I am addicted to Vicodin! I had several surgeries at younger ages and never worried, as I never did any drugs of any kind. Take care, I will pray for you. Let us know when you are going into surgery and we will wish you all the get wells that there can possibly be. I know that you will be fine. Take care all of you.
Love Butterbean
Thanks for the great thoughts that you all have given me, to Skipper, I will be sure to tell the "Sandman" about how much I take, I sure as heck would not want to wake up during surgery, that would totally freak me out!
To Shotsy, I feel at times that I am losing control of my patience as well as my ability to reason properly, as can be seen by the fear and anxiety that I have about my upcoming knee surgery. And as much as I try to control my actions, they just sometimes come out in a manner that is not true to the way I am.
I have made a commitment to myself since I put my first posting on this board, I am seriously going to try to eliminate the "pain pill" routine from my daily life if I can. I have too much to do with my children and grandchildren, then to put my mind into a drug induced world.
I will keep you posted on how I,m doing, excuse me while I go get another Vicoprofen..... ONLY KIDDING!!, good luck to you in your endeavors, I will be here for you too!
To Butterbean, I heartily thank you for the kind wishes and backup that you and everyone else is opening up to me with, it is people like you all that are the unsung counselors when someone is in need such as I am. I am glad that I ventured onto this site by accident, or was it an accident? I will leave that open.
About this afternoons events, "I twisted my knee, went to the E.R, and the doctor said, "I'll give you some Vicodin for pain and you can follow up with your Orthopaedic surgeon tomorrow", I told him, "No thanks, I have enough Vicoprofen at home to stock a pharmacy" LOL He was a bit puzzled, but he'll get over it!
I'm feeling sore but not in great pain, my granddaughter rubs her "magic hand" over my knee and she says that will make it go away!
I now want to wave my granddaughters magic hand over all of you, and hope that it will work for you all.
I will be here for you all as you have been for me.
Thanks God Bless, Popi
Love Butterbean
yes waking up during surgery is a bad deal all the way around. i
know this for a fact, because i did. in the fall of 1978 i had been
clean of all opiates for 3 months. i was working a heavy construct-
ion job. i was running a machine called a ray-go-romper, sort of
miniture steam roller. i was backing it up a earth ramp. the ramp
caved in, and sort of rode the thing down. i wound up with a com-
pounded, commuted fracture of the tiba (shin bone). the closest
hospital that could handle my injury was in Sioux City, Iowa. as i
was being preped for surgery, i told anyone who would listen about
my high tollerence for opiates and barbiturates. they didn't be-
lieve me until i sat straight up as the orthepedic docs were trying
to clean up the mess of what had once been my left leg. i felt like
they treated my sitting up like i was some low-life party crasher!
the story has a happy ending, not only did they fix my leg, but
this is the town where i met and married my present wife!
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
Wow Skipper, that would have made me go ballistic, but I bet they "snowed" you immediately after they saw you sit up.
I have had a few days to ponder my feelings of fear about having the surgery, but you know something, on the other end of this media we call "Internet", there are so many people like you guys that it is a great feeling to be able to let yourself go and say what you feel, without the worry of being ridiculed for whatever is your individual problem.
I have found this forum and all of you, Butterbean, Witchywoman, Shotsy and you to be my "electronic crutch", and beleive me, I will continue to monitor this board, even when my surgery is over, because I know now that "People Help People", and if by telling someone of your own experiences, helps them to be at ease, then by gosh, I can certainly spend a little time each day to talk via this bulletin board.
I now look forward to my surgery with a lot of the fear eliminated, BUT, I still have a few anxietys, which I know are normal, but I'll face them.
Well, enough blabbing, I hope evryone has had a nice day and will have a nice week. I live in New England, and we are now into the Snow season, this will be my first, you see, I'm a Califonian, but I retired and moved here to be near my daughter and granddaughter, WOW< 3 year olds are sure active!!!
Have a good night everyone, my thoughts and prayers are with you all.
POPI
Love Butterbean
Thanks for the kind thoughts. I like you am now taking "as needed", my only problem that I was having was? what part of my brain was making the decision to take for pain or take for the taking. (If you follow me!)
So, I came up with a plan to fool my brain, I cut one in half, now my reasoning is this; my addictive side says TAKE ONE!! while my other side that I try to use for reasoning says: But your trying to quit.
SO!! I deduced that neither of these sides can tell a half pill from a full pill, so I take the half pill!
I have been doing this for 2 days now, and darn if it isn't working!
I know that when I have surgery, I am going to be put on Percocet, I was already told this, now, I have never had Percocet, anyone out there know what kind of parallels these drugs have, if so, please let me know.
Oh, by the way Bellybean, I was in the Northridge Earthquake, and although California is a beautiful place, theres too much shaking for me, after 40 years, I called it a day. I am happy in New England, and the other day driving through the highways, I have seen the most beautiful transformation of leaves I have ever seen, it was breathtaking.
Well, gonna sign off for now, I'm watching the movie "Uprising", and part 2 is on tonight, so take care, God Bless, see ya tomorrow.
POPI
Love Butterbean
Oh well......maybe someday, I'll tire of letting these pills rule my life....maybe I'll tire of them deciding when I can go shopping or spend time with friends. Right now, I can't seem to function normally without them. I even plan hair cuts and manicures around them, for crying out loud!
Ok....it's after midnight. Time for me crawl into bed.
Goodnight everyone!
the most difficult task of my 35+ years of drug addiction seems to
be right in front of me every day. see i take 40mg of oxycontin 3
times a day. every day i struggle to take the medicine as it is
perscribed and not the way my junkie instincts tell me. i think the
only reasion i haven't tried to shoot my oxys up is i have so lit-
tle useable veins left! i may be able to conceal what i am to a
doctor, but not the nurse anesthetist! and besides i seem to have
become quite uncomfortable with hpyo equipment in my old age.
Popi, you must be slightly apprehensive about your upcoming surg-
ery. in the last 2 years i've had 2 surgerys on the cevical level
of my spine. both times they went in thru the front of my neck. it
wasn't any easier the second time. i guess the way i got thru it
was to turn it over into the hands of my surgeon (well i took a lot
of drugs too)
best of luck
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
WW, I printed out the long post above and am ready to take the trips to wherever necessary to get all the recommended aids in helping me through the withdrawals.
This wouldn't be so scary if it weren't for my 11 mth old daughter. I take care of her everyday. I have NO ONE to help me, so I will have NO help while withdrawing. I am so scared that I'll be laid up on the couch and won't be able to properly take care of her.
If anything happened to her while I, in my PITIFUL SELF-INFLICTED SHAMEFUL ADDICTED self, lay there immobilized because of my idiotic choice to become an addict, I couldn't live with myself anymore.
What do I do? I am dead serious. I have NO ONE to help me through this, and NO ONE to help take care of my infant.
I am so sad...sad...sad...and scared out of my wits!
Any comments, please, from anyone?
Thanks so much for reading,
"starling"
"starling"
so now it's time to pay up? well first of all lets try to stay
calm. ok have you assembled the items for Thomas's detox. if
not get what you need befoe the withdrawal really kicks in. just
remember opiate withdrawal will not kill you, you may wish to
die, but it will not kill you. also remember that though you are
alone, there are many helpful people at this site to offer help
and suggestions.
gods speed and keep an angel on your shoulder!
kip
I only just printed out the recipe this morning, so I need to go get the stuff today.
I really don't care so much about myself and the hell I'm going to have to go through. I deserve it. Every last minute of it.
What I am very, very concerned about is how to care for my infant while going through the withdrawals. If I'm laid up and can't function, how in the world am I going to be able to care for her?
It's very hard to stay calm when you have a beautiful little baby staring you in the face, and you're so frightened that you will become useless to her, and that something might happen to her... and she cannot take care of herself in any way, shape, or form.
I'm at my wit's end! What in the world am I going to do???
"starling"
Yes, I have to quit cold. My doctor has not approved a refill and I've only got one vicodin pill left. The way my health care provider works it would be at least two days before I could even get any more pills to taper with, and by that time I'll have already been in withdrawal for nearly 48 hours. There'd be no sense in turning back then. My husband is only home two hours per night of my daughter's waking hours which is not nearly enough to help me take care of her. And I already know that he would not, and cannot, take time off of work in order to give me extra help. He also doesn't know anyone at all who could help me during the day.
I'm in a real mess. I could just kill myself! :(
"starling"
Let me just start by saying you can do this.
I say those words to you because those were the most important words someone here said to me when I decided to go cold turkey. I needed to hear them, and I just let go and surrendered and trusted that yes, I could do this. If I could, so can you.
Next, please feel free to write me. Email support was part of what got me through my withdrawal. Write me at ***@****. Also, post here, as often as you want or need to.
Next....if you really have no option other than to stay home and take care of your baby while in withdrawals, I'll give you some advice, but I do wish you had the ability to taper or get rehab somewhere. But given your situation...
In withdrawal, we are extremely uncomfortable, but still able to function. I hardly slept, so being available and awake to take care of your baby won't be as big a problem as you may think it is. I was way more alert than I wanted to be, trust me.
It helps to have a task to perform to distract you, and maybe taking care of her will be that task.
Thomas's recipe helps a lot, do take the immodium, and you won't have diarhea (diarrhea) to battle. Do take the multimineral supplements, and low doses of 5 HTP. Drink tons of water, and soak in hot baths whenever you can. Breathe deeply. Watch escapist movies when your baby is sleeping. Go for walks with her in the stroller if you can..I went for walks ever day of my withdrawal and it helped tons. If you can possibly see an acupuncturist, please please do, and tell them you are in withdrawals..there is a lot they can do to speed up the body's own endorphin production and stop the creepy crawlies.
You will sweat a lot, get the chills, get skin tingles, and feel very restless. I never got the shakes, but some folks do.
But you can do this.
Also starling, and maybe most important...please, please be gentle with yourself. Love yourself through this. I am worried about the harsh tone you took with yourself in your post, like you've brought this upon yourself and you deserve to be punished.
You have succumbed to addiction, like many fine people before you. Like me, and Skipper, and everyone else here. You deserve love and compassion just like anyone else...and it is LOVE that heals the shame of this disease. Please make a commitment to love yourself through this withdrawal. Love will help you get through. You are not a horrible person. You are a normal human being. And frankly, I've found more wonderful human beings among my addict friends than almost anywhere. You are in good company, and we will love you until you can love yourself.
So..reach out. I am here. We are here. You can do this.
love,
WW
Thank you so much for your vote of confidence. I wish I had as much faith in myself as you appear to have in me. :)
I was just thinking...wondering...because I don't know about such things, but are there emergency nurses or something like that whom a person can hire "as needed?" Someone to look after my baby and cook meals until my husband comes home from work? Just until I'm back on my feet again? Do you (or anyone else here, for that matter) happen to know about this kind of thing?
If there are, that could be the answer to my gut-wrenching dilemma. I'm sorry if I sound dramatic, but I am feeling very vulnerable right now. I know what I'm facing because I've been through it before... only, at the time, I thought it was the worst flu that I had ever had in my life. I literally thought I was going to die and told my husband so. It was about 3 weeks after my last c-section and I had been on about 10 vicodin pills per day, and when I started feeling sick and then on top of that ran out of pills, I didn't ask for a refill as I thought that was the last thing I needed while down with the flu. Little did I really know at the time what I was going through. Granted, I was sick...I really did have the flu...but I was also going through tremendous withdrawals.
Anyway, I don't mean to ramble here. What I'd really like to know is, if there are any type of nurses around that I could hire on a very temporary basis until I'm through the worst of it. And if you do happen to know whether or not there are people like this, how in the world would I go about finding one? Through the phone book? Some other avenue?
I'm totally at a loss here and trying to think of anything... ANYTHING to get me through this with my baby well taken care of.
Thanks so much for listening, hearing me, and most of all for understanding.
"starling"
I hope you have faith enough to listen to "Witchywoman and Shotsy", believe that they are going to be your "crutch" through this tough time, and we all know it's tough.
I must say this, the doctor who left you without any means of tapering down your meds, should be reported. It is the doctors DUTY to help you get off of your medication, in a way that would not cause you any harm, he prescribed it to help you, I am curious to know if you told him of your intent to get off of it, because if you did, then he should have came up with a plan for easy withdrawal for you.
If I were you, I would tell him of your intent to withdraw from this medication, and ask for his help in tapering off, if he refuses to listen to you, then I would try to seek another physician who, after you tell him of your intent, will help you get off the medication in a more easier manner.
This forum is full of people with TOTAL commitment in helping, so place your faith here, it will not be abused.
And, Witchywoman and Shotsy, if I have given any wrong information to Starling, please correct me, you know what faith I have in your opinions.
Starling, hang in there, you are as close to all of us as your keyboard.
God Bless Popi
If hiring a nurse is too expensive, maybe you could hire a temporary baby sitter, someone who could look after the little one and cook and clean for a few days. You can look into temp agencies for both these positions.
I'm very glad you thought of that! Go for it..anything that makes it easier for you.
love,
WW
How are you doing with your own taper?
I loved your strategy of fooling your brain with half a pill!
LOL
That never would have worked for me though...I had both sides of my brain scheming to convince me that the dose I should take was way too small...oi!
It is good to be on the other side. I can see sunshine again, and I never thought I would. For anyone who thinks I have it totally together...naaaaah. I don't. I am clean. I am working on myself. But I struggle with mental cravings and insecurities just like everyone else. I have back pain that sometimes is very low, but other times spikes reallllly high (like today) I have some very tough marriage issues that keep me on a roller coaster. What keeps me going are my friends, my cats, my spirituality, and my love of life...not necessarily in that order. Oh...and my hope that someday soon my back will be ok enough for me to get back to my dance.
love,
WW
Just a quick post, you said you would like to get back to your dance!
Guess who took Tap, Acrobatics and BALLET from age 5 to age 15. ME!!!!!
As a matter of fact, my brother was one of the top dancers for the movies, he made many of them, best dance one in my opinion was "Carousel", he did some dancing on the roof that was awsome.
I'll post again this evening when I have a little more time.
p.s. The other half of my brain that I was trying to trick, gave me a message!!! B----IT.
Catch ya tonight Popi
Thank you.
J
I encourage you to post further up, since a lot of people don't scroll down this far, we assume that the threads this far down are finished, though occassionally someone new posts.
Jay, I completely can relate to your fear of going off the pain meds. Tapering never worked for me either. I had to just make the decision to stop mostly cold turkey. It is scary and very uncomfortable, but I promise, it won't kill you. If you have 10 days before you have to start a new job, and free time unti then, now would be a good time to start getting clean. Within 10 days you'll be through the withdrawals. Search around this site for the thread that contains Thomas's detox recipe, he has suggestions for nutrients and a few other things that make it a bit more tolerable. And feel free to post here for support, there are a lot of caring people who will help you here.
Charity, thanks for posting your story,it sounds like you are getting a lot better, and your story should be an inspiration to all. I hope we get to know you better.
Try posting on one of the top threads, you'll get more responses.
love,
WW
Thank you so much for answering. It was great to log in and see a reply from someone. I was really depressed yesterday after reading about everyone's experience and having to really face the cold hard realization of what lies ahead of me. It almost seems easier to just stay on the pills. I broke down to by best girlfriend this morning and shared with her how scared I am and that how I cant imagine getting through this. She is very supportive and has dabbled a little in the glory of painkillers so I know she know's what I feeling. I've referred her to this forum as well.
I also went to checkout my possible new job location this morning and needed 3 V's before I could face that. The company I have worked for, for the past 5 1/2 years is closing, I may or may not be placed somewhere, I just don't know yet. The only way I'll have time between jobs to detox is if I do not have another job to go to. Maybe that's best, but them I'm afraid of being home no job, detoxing, YIKES! Doesn't add up to a pretty picture.
I know what I have to do and I know there's no easy answer to this, the last thing I want to happen is that I need to be admitted to a hospital. Please tell me again that I can do this and can do this without hospitalization. I'm open to any advice you can give me. Along with, how do I post up higher? I hit "post comment" and it puts it where it wants. What control do I have to put my message on top or at a more reasonable level?
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I greatly appreciate you I hope to continue talking with you in the future.
J
First..the way to post up above is to read one of the threads at the top of the forum. It is fine to post a response to a thread that has already been started. So go to the first or second thread of questions, and post a response from there. The software posts your response to the thread that you are reading at the time. I hope that makes sense.
Second, yes, you can do this without hospitalization. You really can. I did, and so have many others on this forum. Have you found Thomas's recipe on here yet? If you don't find it, let me know, and I'll send it to you. Email me at ***@**** and I can send it to you. Thomas is someone who used to post here a lot, a wonderful man, who has helped me and countless other addicts get through withdrawals.
You can do it, it is uncomfortable and difficult but you can do it. You might get bad rebound headaches. Ask your doctor for a med called Maxalt..it helps me with my migraines really well, and it is not a narcotic, nor addictive in anyway.
The thing to keep in mind is that you are fighting for your FREEDOM. The tools to get there are tons of self love, support from others, and a strong desire to have control of your life and body again. I got sick of being a slave to a pill, and finally got clean, but had to go cold turkey 'cause I failed over and over at trying to taper.
If you have the discipline to taper, it is the best way to do it, 'cause it is a hellish 4 or 5 days going cold turkey...but people do it and still go to work (though I would not have been able to work).
Please do try and post higher. Butterbean is just finishing her detox, and Gingerlee and Telby are working on it too. I think there is another poster named Tucker who is trying as well. You'll find support, and please feel free to write me.
love
WW
Love Butterbean