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i am stoping but i have to go to work i dont think i will want to get o...
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i am stoping but i have to go to work i dont think i will want to get out of bed or even live

Maybe that sounds dramatic but i need to take pain pills to do anything. I cant hang out go anywhere unless i am high. So i have been taking anything i can get my hands on percs vics oxys ANYTHING! my money is gone and me and my ex of 6 years broke up like a year ago....since then i have not gone more than 2 days with out anything. I have decided after reading all these posts and because i have just fallen apart that i am going to stop tomorrow. I am scared to go cold turkey i have tryed suboxone in the past and dont really want to go that route or to the dr about it. i am sure i can do it myself but i think i might feel like i want to die. i am already so depressed. I have to go to work and i cant take vacation or call off. I am scared about the withdraws bc i know i will get chills and get very tired and not want to work. I went without a couple of times and could not stand to be there. I really dont have anyone for support. The people i know either do not know i take them or take them themselves and dont care to stop. I want to feel normal again. will i ever feel as good as i did on the pills though. they were for sure running my life so thats not something i want. I dont know what to do like i said i am completely a mess and so depressed already. I am on a antidepressant and adderall (adderrall) and clonazapam. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. THanks to everyone who writes on here to it really makes me feel like i am not the only person who let these f...ers get the best of me.
Tags: PAIN PILLS, Withdraw, help, Addiction, want, i am, dont, get out, think, Bed, AM, live, Work, Is, toes, die, move, oxy, Perc, vic, 20mg, 5mg, 10mg, 15mg, 80mg
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19 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
Read some of my other posts about Thomas' recipe (on the "Most Viewed Health Pages" at the bottom right of this page).  For the first 4-1/2 days I felt like I wanted to die but after starting the supplements, I feel much better.

Can you get to a health food store and get the supplements?

Don't feel like you are a mess.  I was a professional with an outstanding career and retired because my pills were more important than my job.  I hid my addiction from everyone, except my adult kids who recognized what I was doing.  So I am living with the shame of letting my kids down (not when they were little, but worse, when they were knowledgeable enough to recognize what I was doing).

I got rid of my pills on day 2 and thank goodness I did, because if there was a pill in this house on days 3-5 I guarantee I would have taken them.

My husband is a rock, but he really doesn't KNOW what WD feels like.

Keep posting to this site, we will help you

This forum saved my life because, like you, I didn't have any one else to talk to.

Hang in there.

Positive thoughts your direction!
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1248235_tn?1268885337
thanks so much i will continue to post i have no pills in the house and im trying to prepare myself...i will check out some health food stores once i get my check. So we will see how tomorrow goes ...i really love that this site is available...im sorry to hear that you retired but i can completely understand putting the pills before everything its crazy....i know i am just starting but i need to be done for good and this is what i want!
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Avatar_f_tn
I can't even begin to tell you what the pills did to my life....broken bones, emergency EMT's that had been former associates responding to my house, and the humiliation of living in a teeny tiny town where everyone knows your business.  ****!

Being crazy with your pills is something I totally understand.  I gave my husband all my pills on day 2, and if he hadn't gotten rid of them, I would have been gulping them down on day 3 and 4.......it was WD hell.

Hang in there.....I am on day 6-1/2 and am finally feeling better.  But I only took 3 5/500 vicodin a day.  So I think I am a lightweight compared to others, but the WD's are really hard no matter what you are taking.

Be strong....we will help you.

All the bad side effects are "normal" as your body gets rid of the drugs.

Thinking of you and sending you positive energy.
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1198664_tn?1368651412
I will be stopping with you so you won't be alone :).  Just about the same time frame. I had. Big slip up for about a week and am ready to come
clean again. Keep us posted. It will suck buT it will be worth it.
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Avatar_f_tn
Know one thing, your not alone here, most of us are in the same boat or similar one.

I won't lie and say this is easy, but you can get through it, I'm on day 4 clean and feeling better, but I've relapsed more time's than I can count.

Praying for you.

Cissy
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142722_tn?1281537216
I feel like you so much.  I got two kids at home, one on the way, and I am struggling also.  I don't feel like working at times and sure as hell don't really want to be any where else.
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1248235_tn?1268885337
thanks alot i love to read your stories. im am heading to work....congrats on 4 days cissy!!! GREAT JOB
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1248235_tn?1268885337
DAY 1: well i know it is not much but have not taken anything or bought anything ...chills headache sooooo tired no energy....drinking water staying positive taking vitamins....did not go get ANYMORE!!!!! i always take them after work for sure its a routine....i have been taking them off and off since 7th grade..and i am 25 now last 1yr has been the worst even got into herion but i got waaaaayyyyyy far away from that...well anyone who reads this hope maybe you can start too? (i am thinking that alot of times when taking them i felt like sh*t anyway right -the money i spent -traveling- counting- finding more= not getting high enough= blah blah .....how could this be worse than going through that) ha i guess i should be really happy i am trying to get away for good they are depressing...hoping for the best and got the sniffles too
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1198664_tn?1368651412
Great job! I am with you on day one!
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401095_tn?1351395370
One thing I learned...and learned big time cos I am one of the most independent, stubborn people on earth!  LOL...is there are some things in life we can not do alone...and stopping drugs can be one of those impossible tasks to do Alone...Sure..many can sttop for a bit//I am speaking of stpping forever..it takes work...and it takes support
Calling into work is a hard call.....but if u continue to use, u r working mainly to pay for ur habit perhaps?  or a big chunk of ur check goes to ur habit?  Or perhaps u get pills as prescribed and do not run out like most here do?  Either way the pills will get u in the long run...they will eat u up and spit u out....they will win if u do not fight

U didnt state ur dose nor DOC....the health pages including the thomas recipe r full of great tips.....aftercare is often the missing link that addicts fight tooth and nail...the one thing that can help them!  addicts can often be control freaks...we can do everything on our own we think...fact is the pills take control...and we lose control

Jobs are hard to come by...our economy and general outlook is dismal right now....in the worst recession/depression i have seen in my lifetime/it is depressing to c things get worse and worse.....I feel now as if I have no control again due to our nations status...like addiction///we lose control...the addiction controls us

Jobs are important....But there will never be another YOU....life is short....u can grab it or let it grab u...if ur job/boss fires u for havng the flu then perhaps u need to re-think ur job cos u may really catch the flu one day...and it would mean losing ur job>???  Getting clean is worth it...financially it will save u bu11loads of money in the long run...and a much cleared thining person at work....I never trusted my decisions when i was deep into using..It has a way of becoming the goal of the day...verses ur true goals

Good luck and keep posting
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Avatar_f_tn
Your welcome and I am on day five and feel pretty good other than my pain in my foot as I have RSD from many surgeries, but I've hurt so bad the last couple of day's, but I got through it.

Good luck and stay positive and busy!!

Cissy
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1248235_tn?1268885337
thanks again i have not been able to sleep all that well last night....Crazy i always want to sleep in....i really dont want to go to work and i went to a website naabt to search for a dr maybe. i dont know still if i want to do it that way it kind of makes me think i will trade one drug for another but i dont know. i wonder how confidential it is??? i am going to call them for some information though....congrats everyone hanging in there best wishes
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1248235_tn?1268885337
it really depended on the day of what i took my mom use to give me pain pills to clean the house when i was younger....it made me hyper i guess thats when i first was taking them then i started buying vic 7.5 and 10s off of her she needed the money. So any way i remember being in like 8th grade taking 4 or 5 vic 7.5 in science class feeling great. Got some scripts for back pain and broken ankle and dentist. Those were not even candy. Since then i had found people to buy them off of latley i could take pill after pill of vic10 like12 and feel nothing. Also would take like 3 perc 30s when i got home from work oxy 40 or 80s sometimes sniffing stuff but i do not like to do that. perc 15's really this person can get anything. I also would eat the FETANYL patches ....uh i dont think i should be talking about this right now though  sounds awesome right now... 8( lol
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1248235_tn?1268885337
ok so i love writing on here i love the support and great people. I am going to work for sure i cant just sit here and feel bad. I am thinking i am sick dont feel good at all blah blah but i have been sick for years. THis way i may not feel good but its for way better reasons. I listen to probs and get cussed out during my job so that should keep my mind off things for a while. i cant just sit around and worry i already do that. so off to work yay 8( im trying here....hope everyone has a great day! ps" i dont even have kids so i really dont have it as bad as alot of the strong people on here. The time is now to get my life back (staying positive)
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Avatar_m_tn
I am going through the beginnings of dilaudid withdrawal right now.  No one knows I'm even taking them.  My fiance would leave me and my family would disown me.  I am a supposedly "recovered" addict of coke and methadone and was clean for 5 years until 6 months ago.  The pain I am feeling reminds me so much of the methadone withdrawal.  How the hell do I go to work and school like this.  Trying.
I heard oxazepam is good for the withdrawal.  Feel like ****.  Scared I can't do it

















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1198664_tn?1368651412
Pretend you have the flu if you have to
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Avatar_m_tn
Today, is day 3 off of 5 and 7.5.

I don't know exactly where to start, but I guess for me it started about 7 or 8 years back.  Friend of a friend had a "back problem", so he gave me some.  Started out as fun, then he and the friend went away, no more pills, plus It's not like I saw him everyday.  

About 3 years ago, someone at work knew someone who had pills, I'm thinking cool, so I bought them.  Once again, took them 1 or 1/2 at a time, still thought it was fun.  Well, this year I'll turn 40, I'm married with a 6 month old,  and for the most part I've been taking them ever since.  I've never had a reason to use and I feel so bad for those on here that have REAL pain.  

Up through last week, my habit sped up.  I was up to about 7 per day, as Misseslost said, whatever I can get my hands on.  NOW, that's not a huge amount, but it's enough. It went back and forth and I actually quit one time before was clean and called my guy about two months later.  STUPID.  

Anyhow, here's what I did and I hope to reach someone who goes to this site looking for help.  If your taking one or 5 or 20 per day, you've got a problem.  I will never go through this again, period.  This time was rough.

Monday - 3 pills, last one at 9 PM
Tuesday - One TD Ext release from someone at work 10 AM.  Didn't help much, came home took a nap, went back to work.  Sleep was horrible
Wednesday - Felt like I was going to die, slept even worse.
Thursday - Took the L-Tyo and B-6 in the Thomas Recipe.  I'm actually feeling half human today.  Tomorrow, and the next day will be better.
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1248235_tn?1268885337
Day 2: i felt pretty good this morning even though i could not sleep....but  am very excited i went to work even though i hate that feeling of nothing to look forward to. It like i have no clue what to do with myself. i danced to some music though...lol have not done that in a while ...felt good i broke it down haha
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1248235_tn?1268885337
so i called 4 offices for subox.. and found a dr that would have first appointment be $300 and i would see him each month for $100...they are going to send a packet. They told me that since i was on clonazapam i would have to wait a week for it to be out of my system and it would kill me. That freaked me out bc i had bought a few subox's before and took them together...WHAT A IDIOT i am that stuff is dangerous...after reading for like2 hours on this site i decided i don't think i will do that. It definitely  sounds like its trading one drug for another. I don't want to get hooked to something else 8( there is no easy way and what is the point if i have gone 3 days with out any....if i wait another week there is not a point...anyway i am rambling and don't like to type complete sentences haha....i really want something...i have been taking multivitamins and vit b i think its helping a bit really with my energy i can tell a difference...thanks everyone
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