i dont know what to do please im sorry to be annoying

[flamingogirl1]

well liek i said earlier my husbadn said he wanted to work things out. another problem we wer ehavin gis bills and he thinks im always snapping t him but im not trying to im jsut going trhough withdrawal and he doesnt get it. im so stressed out bc we have spent so much on pills and i want it to stop maybe it wasnt a wise decision to get back together with him. i do love him and i know he loves me well i think he does but he is making me more stresed out. i dont knwo what to do anymore

[newmanagment]

sometimes relationships are our hardest triggers. i know that at more than one point i have turned to dope because of the stress of my marriage. all i can tell ya is this, if ya have to step off the marriage for a minute to get clean then do it. if it takes packing a bag and moving for a few months DO IT. You will never fully know if your marriage is making you happy unless you see it with a clear, sober head and heart. best of luck to ya, and find out wut YOU need to do to be you again. much love

[joann1975]

Ok first of all YOU ARE NOT ANNOYING we are all here to support each other.... post when you need to, want to or whatever.

Your issue with the hubby is tough. I am assuming by what you said (i can't remember your past posts) that you both use? Is he getting sober as well? If you are both getting clean you may be able to make it work...ok couple of questions.....
does he use?
if yes does he want to get clean also?
how long have you been married?
have you separated yet?

I am just wondering those things before I give my 2 cents here..... I have to give an "uneducated" 2 cents!!! LOL :)

[flamingogirl1]

yes he does still use he has chronic back pain but he abuses them he snorts them and he takes a lot i dont know why his docotor giv es him so much. he is not realy to stop his docotor is weaning him off she said he should be off by next xmas, or this decemeber.  i want off now i cant take one more minute of this lifestyle he gives half his pills to his cousin and mother and me so he runs out too soon and then has to buy off the street so we never have money. i asked him to please stop giving them all away and he wont listen.  i know he loves me bc i have put him through a lot the last year we got married last march so a little over a year and ever since we got married things went downhill fast bc of the pills.

[newmanagment]

coke, heroin , pills , it really doesnt matter, all of them are the enemy of a happy marriage. no relationship that involves drugs will stand the test of time, unless the drugs are kicked and the marriage is focused on. im sure he loves you, and im sure you love him, but right now it sounds like your marriage is more about getting, and doing pill then it is about 2 people bonding on a personal level. i think you really need to focus on getting clean yourself, and all the rest will follow. wether that be your husband quitting, or if it means you moving on in life.

[cattalina]

I hate to sound cynical, and please don't take this the wrong way... If you and your husband have been using together for a while now, it will make it harder, if not impossible for you to stay clean while he's still using.   Getting and staying clean is stressful enough without having to deal with a spouse who is still using.  I don't know your whole story, but I went though something similar, and you really need to focus on what's best for you right now. I know that you love him but you need to love yourself more.  This relationship may not be healthy for either of you, but you need time to take care of yourself until you can really evaluate that.   Good luck and keep posting!!

[joann1975]

I really would say you would need to be apart to get separate...this is just my opinion from what I know...I am no expert, not a dr, counselor, just a regular girl who also got addicted to pain pills. However, one main problem here is that the 2 of you don't have the same goal of getting clean....you won't be able to if they are so easily accesible to you through him (i know it's been done but hard). I also don't think he seems supportive... I am not saying go file for divorce....maybe separate and detox and let him do his thing and see where it takes you guys....and in a reasonable amount of time then discuss what you guys want to do. My best guess (and that's all it is) is that getting clean in that situation isn't going to be possible.

Feel free to PM me if you want to chat!

[dominosarah]

I too understand where you are coming from but this can become a very lethal situation.  You need take care of yourself now and with that you will be able to see things more clearly clean.  Relationships should be built on real feelings not clouded with pills. I have learned the hard way with this.  Until we are happy with ourselves and comfortable in our own skin relationships suffer.  Dig deep within yourself and i hope you stay here and keep posting.            sara

[flmagi]

I can't imagine trying to get clean (tappering or cold turkey) and staying that way with some one in the house that still uses. I know especially during the first month or so, just the mention of some one haveing pills can set off a trigger.
I'm sorry, it sounds pretty imposible to get clean while he's still useing and those pills are there. Is anyone that strong? I don't think so.
Best of luck to you, this is a really hard situation to be in. Just remember, to get and stay clean, you need to take care of yourself first.