i'm a coke addict- i have questions about my nose damage and how to quit

i am addicted to cocaine.  i first tried it almost three years ago, but started using heavily (and quickly progressed to almost every single day) a little over a year ago.
i don't want to do it any more.  i can't do it any more.  i've put thousands of dollars up my nose, had to sell my car, have thousands of dollars in credit card debt from it... and most of all, i don't want to be this person any more.  i don't want to need coke to function.i don't want to need to drink every night just to counteract the coke i blew all day at work so i can finally fall asleep when i'm drunk enough.  i don't want to be on drugs any more.
i use about an 8ball a week.  i use socially on weekends, but NO ONE knows that i use on my own other times (and often go to the bathroom and use even more by myself when other people are openly doing coke at a party).  my roommate does not know.  my serious boyfriend does not know.
i just don't want to be this person any more.  i don't want to be paranoid and so irritable and to always have a runny nose.  also, i would REALLY love any advice from other former or current users about nose damage.  every morning my nose is totally clogged and hard inside and i blow out these HUGE red and white hard like, CHUNK boogers.  also, when i look up my nose, i see a hole in the septum.  do other people get these boogers?  have i totally ****** my nose?

basically, two things:  1) are my nose problems normal?  and 2) please, how can i stop?  i hate ******* cocaine for taking over my life, and myself for continuing to let it rule me.

[cathy5841]

oh m y friend i been there.  boogers and all. lol   the best part of getting off coke is it has no physical  w/ds.  it is strictly a mental and mental craving w/d.  it is dang hard.  the 1st week was hell for me with cravings. and after that it was about 3 months before the cravings were what i call minimum.  i am over 5 years clean from coke.  after using for 5+ years.  i am now almost 5 months clean from pills.  the physical w/ds from those was unbelieveable. yeah seems like i would have learned. in th morning gizzy will be on  he is 5months clean.  he did relapse for one day in those months good luck to you.  he has lots of info and can answer alot of questions for you.  or you can message him.  let me know if i can help you.
cathy

[coconuts27]

I am in the same boat, well kinda. I been using coke for 3 months. I started because I was depressed. I cant afford it, but my boyfriends pretty much buy it for me. In a matter of days, I was using every day. Going to the bathroom at work, carrying it in my bra. I run thru a gram a day. It's horrible what this $h!t can do to you. Now, two days ago, I lost my kids. Not because I was abusive or neglectful, but because I snort cocaine. My nose is always f&c%ed up. I really think I'm allergic to it, but I still use. Even after I  lost my kids, I still cant stay away. I made it thru today, until like 10:30 tonite, then I just had to have it. I want to be strong, but coke just numbs the pain. It drys up my tears, I'm not walking around sad or feeling sorry for myself. But I know I HAVE to STOP if I want my kids back. And I do. I LOVE MY KIDS. Everything I've ever done has been for my kids. Maybe we can lean on each other. We can make tomorrow day one and get this $h!t out of our lives. I hear that there are no phisical w/d's, but the mental's horrible. So anytime you wanna talk. Just let me know.

[CrimsonLies]

I too am in the same boat. I started using close to 2 yrs ago. I got busted by parents (live at home, 29 yrs old.)
I started using when I found out my bf of over a yr was using occassionally. I was instantly addicted. About a yr into it, I started using in secret, taking it in my bra to the bathroom, using alone, all the same stuff. I was even using at work. My mom somehow discovered I was stealing from them for coke money and called the cops! I spent 5 horrid nights in jail in Seattle, waiting for my fate. They dropped charges and let me move back in, thank god.
I thought that was a wake up call. I started going to cocaine anonymous meetings and got a sponsor. I was still drinking myself into a stupor once a month, and I dropped my sponsor on step 4.
Then the urge to use, after 2 months, was overwhelming. I found a friend who could help me out and started using. My boyfriend quit while I was in jail and hasn't used since, so he has no clue. Nobody does. It sucks hiding to do drugs.
I've been using for about a month now and I hate it, but I can't stop either. I still feind for it and crave it. My nose never healed, even when I wasn't using. Always running, stuffy head, pains in my nose for no reason often. Now I have a gross scab on the inside of my nose that won't go away.

Any advice?

[gizzy32]

the toughest thing about coke addiction is that those cravings come up so fast and out of nowhere and can bring you to your knees, the temptation is so strong. even after being clean for a long time the cravings still appear and it's so important to have support and aftercare even after clean for months. i believe to truly overcome this addiction you need to have support the second that craving hits. at first you will just want coke, then you will need it, then you will shake for it, then it will be too late. DO NOT let that craving grow, DO NOT hide, seek help and talk about what is happening, be honest with yourself and admit when you are weak. the bottom line is it's your choice what to do when these cravings begin and in coke mode it's so hard to ask for help cause at the time you do not care. please get some help before it's too late, this drug will steal everything from you and leave you for death, it does not care as long as you keep feeding it. i hated this drug and still used, i would vibe and shake for this drug, but it can be beat.

as for the scabs on the inside of your nose, that will heal, but it takes time, after 5 years of coke use it took over 2 months for the scabs and bloody noses to stop and my nose has healed so much, but the hole i made in it never will. good luck to you and keep us updated.

[CrimsonLies]

strange thing, i never have had bloody noses. only once, my nose was running and it was kinda clearish-red, but that's it. ugh, addictions do suck big time .thanks for the encouragement.

[PaulMor909]

The physical addiction and withdrawl (withdrawal) is not bad.  Once you quit coke, within a week you will feel normal.  But the cravings and the psycological damage is another story.  That can take months or even years to pass.  I was a coke addict 25 years ago for close to a decade.  I had a relapse seven years ago that lasted a year.  But after developing a heart problem, I quit for good and have never gone back.  Cocaine is very dangerous to the heart and the heart rate.  I take a blood pressure medication to keep my heart rate down (directly as a result of the coke).  In the 80's, I ulcerated my nostrils and had to take antibiotics for several months.  It heals but takes time and you have to stay quit.  The cravings is the worse, and that you need to fill your time with other things.  CA and NA meetings are very good, getting a sponser, counseling, finding new hobbies, interests, eventually getting into a quality relationship.  I dont crave it anymore and I will never use cocaine again.  But it took a long time and the relapse was my final lesson.  The best of luck to you!  

[hayesboy1]

well i have something that might help i use it before and as well i thought i was addicted but i wasnt what i did to stop was look around me and see what matters most i have a little girl thats turning five in 4days she is my strenght to stay away from that **** it ruins lives yours and people around you i been clean 5 months and i never look back and this is important if you really want to quit you have to leave your friends who use alone they arent good for you and they arent friends

[surrender_7]

im am a recovering cocaine/crack addict.  i batteled with this addiction for 15 years i am 30 now and have been clean for a year and a half now i am a councelor at a detox and help other people with the same and other drug problems.  cocaine can also cause heart attacks strokes seizures and brain annurisims even after several cocaine induced seizures and accidents 55 thousand in debt and over 1 million spent in cash and 48 detoxes programs halfway houses sober houses and councelors i could not quit.  the sad reality is that most addicts will die of active addiction only a small percentage will survive this horrible affliction i finally suffered enough pain that i just didnt have another coke run  left in me and stopped.i needed the help and support of other clean or recovering addicts (not necessarily Narcotics Annonomous members) my true friends and family however there are several prescription drug perscribed for cocaine cravings dont know if they work or not but anything is worth a try most detoxes dont detox cocaine you would have to get a bed under alcohol or other drugs that you may be using to come down from the coke benzos or opiots.  either was if your trying to get off drugs stay away from people using or associated with drugs places you use or get them and the things that trigger your use such as drinking parties cash or the opposite sex triggers
) either was i just burried a friend who died of active addiction and do on a regular basis this isnt what you were supposed to be like n either were they or me good luck!