in my hand

i have two pills ... i can take them or just look at them ... if i take them i become the person i know so well or not take them and be the lost soul i am right now...

take it
1  ill hate myself even more when they waer off.
2  will it lead to another 2
3  will my body react the same as if i never stoped useing


dont take it
1 cant think of anything to put here. lol  

i know not funny ... but i did smile

[marcatj]

you know what to do...

make a change, starting now.

[dominosarah]

Please get rid of them.  2 isnt going to do anything except make you more miserable.  Flush the dam things.  I know you feel like a lost soul but it will get better.  Getting clean is the best thing i have ever done.  I only wished i had done it sooner.  It feels so good not to be a prisoner to pills anymore.  By not taking them it will show you have strength and want to do this for yourself.  One person on here used to post and he would say 1 is too many and a 1000 is not enough.  That stuck with me.  You can do this.  It will get better.  Keep posting as we are here to help you thru this.  Stay strong       sara

[feelings01]

ya i know , just they r calling my name ... saying ill make u feel better .... ok ok ok i know what to do .. thing is i dont know any more .. i dont want them .. i dont want them i dont want them i dont want them i dont want them i dont want them i dont want them i dont want them i dont want them i dont want them i dont want them i dont want them i dont want them ....

i could use um .... i know i wont twant any after i take um ... my clean days will just start over right .... i need them i need them i neeed them .....

i dont know what to do .. still looking at them  i put them next to the computer ... wantting to cry ... why am i madd ... this is not right i should throw um out  flush um ... why cant i just flush um ...

[dominosarah]

Go and flush them........you can do this   you can do this   you can do this  you dont need them   you dont need them  you dont need them           you dont want them   you dont want them     YOU DONT WANT THEM.  Keep saying this and go flush them.  YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!   keep talking to us            sara

[feelings01]

u r too funny ... i dont know why im laughing... lol u sound like me .... hahahah with tears in my eyes.... i tryed to flush um i went in the bathroom and i walked out ... i smoked a cig.. and went back in and came back out ... i got a drink or soda and almost ... but i did not take um .. i know i have to flush um ... i know i know i know.... im working on that ...

[dominosarah]

Its okay to laugh  sometimes we just have to do that ya know!!!!  Now get in that bathroom and flush away.  I know you dont want to be a prisoner to these pills anymore.  Are you in the bathroom??  Drop them and hit the flusher.  You can do this.  You really really really really REALLY CAN.  It will get better.  Listen to me as i have been there where you are.  This suxs i know but you will feel sooooooooooooo much better.

[feelings01]

ok ... goimg to flush them ... not sure why .... i would much rather take um ... but , i know it will only lead to more ... and i dont feel like making calls all night to find something for later ... let me ask u this

WILL SOMA HELP  i have like 100 but never took any ... will it help with depression or just make me tired .. i know its a muscle relaxer ... and my brain is sore . lol ....


ill flush thies if i can take thoes ... kidden im flushing

[dominosarah]

I know some take soma at night as it makes them tired.  I didnt take anything once i went ct.  There will more people on in the morning that will be able to help you with those questions.  You could google it too.  Did you flush them now??

[dominosarah]

I just saw your mood!!!!  WAY TO GO!!!!!  Now that is some strength you have girl.  I am so proud of you.  Try and rest your brain tonight.  I know what you mean by it being sore!!!  You really did a good thing.  Be proud of yourself.  This is awesome!!!!

[feelings01]

i feel like **** ... like maybe i should have barried them and put up  a head stone ... .......

[broknbck]

Hey- good for you!  You have come to a crossroads and you will have decide which way to go.
You remember that is how you got into this mess- "just one more time"

But you have already made that decision when you stopped. There is never going to be another just one more time. You have got to be getting steaming mad at those pills, all the pills by now. What a mess they put you in!! And you never want to be there again. It's a prison and that is not fun BTW. You have this huge freedom waiting up ahead and a whole new life with hope and you can even make plans for your future. You will be feeling better about everything tomorrow. You'll see!!!!

[dominosarah]

We will never have a lifesupply of pills so it is good you are getting off them now.  You will start feeling better and things wont seem so hopeless.  Give yourself some time and i know that sounds like forever right now but it isnt.  I started messing with drugs and alcohol in the early 70's.  I wished i would of done this sooner.  You can do this too.  I hope you can get some sleep tonight.  Tomorrow is a new day and you will feel better.   sara

[feelings01]

i dont know about right thing i stay up half the night thinking maybe i did something wrong....

[worried878]

flushing the is a great mental help...makes u stronger..shows who has the power....it is u and not those 2 pills...good luck

[dominosarah]

You didnt do anything wrong.  What you did was right.  How are you feeling today??

[mimi1313]

I would stay away from Soma, that can be addictive as well.

[joann1975]

I've heard the soma can be addictive and I tried it once when I was going through all my back issues in the beginning and it gave me a headache both times I took it.

melatonin is great for sleeping and it's cheap, legal and you easily adjust the dose!

flushing is awesome! the pills are better in the "crapper" lol b/c that is what they are! life clean is a WAY better life!

[Friend999]

Those of us that are not addicted try to understand. We try, that's all we can do. If we can't, then listen to all of the wonderful people who do understand, and answered your post.

Friend999

[Friend999]

Bringing this post back to the top.

To all reading this, please respond to feelings01 with more suggestions.
She needs you now.

Friend999