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is my boyfriend an addict?
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is my boyfriend an addict?

hi everyone, I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years.
when we first met we always used to take drugs recreationally on the weekends... every weekend! after many, many years of this it has lost all of its appeal. I'm getting older and I feel it's time to put my focus onto other things.
over the last year or so my boyfriend had been introduced to meth. and has taken quite a liking to it, so much so that he uses it on average 5 x per week and misses 3 nights sleep per week.  his is a successful professional and it doesn't seem to be interfering with any of his responsibilities eg. children(who live with there mother) or his work or health. if fact he says it makes him much more efficient with work, helps him focus and make better decision and it makes him more social. there have been no negative effects at all. we recently went away for 4 days and he stopped with no problems. he is an extremely strong minded, responsible, intelligent person.
my question is, is there need for my concern and nagging or should I just let him be? so confused!!!
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Avatar_m_tn

     Yes he is a addict and he want stop till he has had enough pain from the drugs. You will stay confused if he is taking meth a very powerful drug that has dire consequences.  This will drag you down even more and talking to a meth head dont work I no I have a son thats on meth when he gets paid and Ive talked to him but it dont phase him I just have to wait till he hits bottom then I may can help him.  Also meth will make you think that you are invincible and are in full control of everything.  So good luck.
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1827057_tn?1397523877
I do not know if your boyfriend is an addict right now but I can tell you this,I have never known or heard of anyone who has ever used meth sucessfully.I am not just saying this from some story I saw on the news.I have seen alot of meth users.I was a big user myself at one time.Before that I was a small user.It will literally eat you alive.It will ruin his teeth for sure.This will not turn out well if he continues to use.I live in a suburban area and a lady in a nice middle class subdivision down the street blew her house up the other day.She was a very intelligent professional who worked in advertising for a large company.There is a honeymoon period with meth where it does seem to improve everything in one's life.That period is usually short lived.Again there is a reason for the phrase speed kills.
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Avatar_n_tn
He is absolutely playing with fire. At this time, he is naive to what this drug is capable of doing to his life, your life, his children, his career and anything he holds of value or considers moral. If you like your life the way it is today, and have hopes for a future, you nag him about this like nothing youve ever nagged about before!
  His use has already gone from just the weekends to use during the work week. How do you think he "really" performs losing 2 days of sleep? He might things are better, he's superman and all that, but trust me, its not! By the time you think it has to stop, its already too late.You do not want anything to do with this viscous drug in your lives, not even playing around. Its nothing to be messed with. It will take everything you have, possibly including each other. I tell you this from first hand experience from when meth first came around in the 80's and no one knew much about it like we do now. Trust me it was bad, very bad. You do "everything" you can in your power to get that drug out of your lives today! JoJo...I am NOT kidding!
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Avatar_f_tn
so what can I do?
he feels it adds so much valve to his life. not only does it make him smarter(I constantly hear how he just came up with another great idea to save or make himself lots of money) but it also helps relieve his boredom( way too much spare time on his hands)...oh and his a doctor. so when I try to argue with him I am never able to put up a very good fight. he just thinks I don't know what I'm talking about. and well I guess I don't really.
So if he continues to use often is addiction inevitable? are there certain signs I should look out for?
I just feel i have zero power here. and i know he would much rather end our relationship then stop using or even cut back. he hates being controlled and drugs will always be apart of his life... it's the lifestyle he has chosen. his tried other drugs in the past and had alot of fun with them, there has never been a problem. but it just seems different with meth because his use is so frequent. is meth really more addictive than speed or coke? maybe the fact that he smokes it makes a difference?
thanks everyone for advice. it's very much appreciated.
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Avatar_f_tn
so what can I do?
he feels it adds so much valve to his life. not only does it make him smarter(I constantly hear how he just came up with another great idea to save or make himself lots of money) but it also helps relieve his boredom( way too much spare time on his hands)...oh and his a doctor. so when I try to argue with him I am never able to put up a very good fight. he just thinks I don't know what I'm talking about. and well I guess I don't really.
So if he continues to use often is addiction inevitable? are there certain signs I should look out for?
I just feel i have zero power here. and i know he would much rather end our relationship then stop using or even cut back. he hates being controlled and drugs will always be apart of his life... it's the lifestyle he has chosen. his tried other drugs in the past and had alot of fun with them, there has never been a problem. but it just seems different with meth because his use is so frequent. is meth really more addictive than speed or coke? maybe the fact that he smokes it makes a difference?
thanks everyone for advice. it's very much appreciated.
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Avatar_f_tn
Oh boy...Yes, it's very addicting and it will turn his life to $hit in a hurry!

He's a doctor as in physician?  If so, then he's aware that this is very bad. Not only because it's illegal but because it makes him an impaired physician. You don't think you have any power?  Ha!  Ask him what he thinks of a doctor who's a meth addict? A surgeon maybe. Would he let a meth head operate on his child? I don't think so. Just ask him. Also, ask him what would happen if the state board found out about his meth use? You have a lot of power just by asking those questions.  If he acts as though he doesn't care or it's not a problem for HIM then he's really in trouble and you better throw him a rope to pull him out of this. It's that serious!

All the best to you and stay in touch!
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1700643_tn?1348985292
Yeah he is an addict.5Xa week BTW is no longer recreational use he will soon be using everyday and I HAVE NEVER HEARD A SUCCESS STORY W/METH.BTW if u use drugs every weekend for years u too r an addict.Only thing is u have grown out of it and r lucky u can walk away DO NOW.He isn't sleeping3days a week that's so unhealthy(can cause high blood pressure stroke,heart attack a million things).He knows all this and I would NEVER want a sleep deprived5Xa week METH user as my Dr girl and think about it would u want someone(not ur hubby)doing the same thing and being n charge of urs or a child's health.HE KNOWS BETTER and so do u.Ur smart2quit the recreational partying and he is beyond that.u need to talk2him tell him how u feel,if he refuses2quit then u know he is a full blown addict+take it from there
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1700643_tn?1348985292
Wow didn't read the other responses first.wow Vicki said just about the same thing.I can tell u right now HE IS A FULL BLOWN ADDICT.I know because u said he would leave u rather than quit.
No stable,non addict would give up a loving spouse for recreational drug use+r not addicted.He is also putting a lot of people at risk being high,not sleeping and people depend on him for there medical care.He is CLEARLY very intellegent(professionally Anyway)but he's also manipulative as most/all addicts r cause he can convince u METH is ok for anyone let alone a doctor to take and to say he will leave u rather than quit because its HIS choice or whatever way he twisted it for u.That's classic addict talk+behavior.Ur smart don't let his manipulation make u doubt ur instincts.
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Avatar_f_tn
yes he is a physician but he did not worked consistently over the years and has actually completely stopped recently because he said he is no longer interested in it. but come to think of it he stopped when his meth use increased to more than just a weekend thing. the two must be related??  
he seems to believe that drugs are not bad as long as you don't over do them. and he says that there is no proper evidence to prove that drugs in moderation are harmful.. but I don't think 5 or so times a weeks can be classified as moderate use.
it's really the last 2 months that his use has dramatically increased. he just sees it as such a positive thing. he thinks it's an amazing drug. are there people out there who can take drugs consistently but in a responsible way so that they don't get addicted and are always in control? his very strong minded and always incontrol. could he just continue for a year or so on ice and then just stop? does this happen?
I've taken drugs on weekends for years and never had a problem but then I've never really tried ice.
thank u for feed back. x
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Avatar_f_tn
sorry I just want to make it clear that whilst on drugs he did not consult as a physician. my point was that's it's hard for me to argue with him about drugs becoz he is a doctor and has a wealth of knowledge compared to me.
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1700643_tn?1348985292
Jojo yes there r weekend worriors like u who can walk away from things like pot,pills,blow,xtc,booze etc and can just stop then there r drugs that will just snatch u when u have ALWAYS been able to walk away like METH w/him.I've never done meth but I've heard horror stories.I've heard once ur hooked its harder than crack,flow,heroin literally every other drug to get off of.Isn't ice a more potent form of meth too.Jojo u seem very smart.You knew the answer before u posted.No there aren't success stories of someone becoming an ice addict and u know that deep down.if ur not as important as this drug to him and he won't stop u may wanna think of bailing b4he is up4-5days at a time,from what I hear he will have hallucinations etc.He isn't superhuman he is an addict who.has stumbled upon the drug that ur can't/won't stop.That's happened to a lot of us.
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1700643_tn?1348985292
Jojo u can argue the point of the danger of ice to him Google,print show him.He is MANIPULATING u because he is a doctor+is making u feel like u don't have a leg to stand on.u have the knowledge don't underestimate or doubt ur intellegence and instincts.
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Avatar_f_tn
I've done all that before, there is no point he won't listen to ANYTHING i have to say. after my nagging today it seems pretty pointless to continue. he will just get annoyed and tell me to F off.
funny how u take little things for granted like going to bed together, ive been sleeping alone for the last 3 nights.  this really sux. :(
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