I strongly agree with all these posts.. Isolation is one of the toughest things an addict can do to themselves... We cannot be left to our own devices! If we isolate ourselves we become a time bomb that will explode back to our old ways.. Goto meetings and you don't have to speak, sit in the back have a cup of coffee or tea and relax and listen... You WILL hear your story and begin to feel comfortable, I promise.. When you feel ready just raise your hand and JUST say hello.. Slowly but surely you will begin to feel comfortable enough to share when you are ready. The most important thing for NOW is for you to be there and outside your own head to listen and learn.. Congrats on your clean time!!!
Just FYI...I go to meetings everyday and still do not speak in the meetings. I listen, for now. Last night we spoke of isolation and putting on a front. I am supposed to be making friends w/ the women there and I feel as if I've lost the ability to speak to people? There is a bit of isolation, in the beginning, mainly, I think, b/c we are still somewhat physically sick and second, b/c we are embarrased at what we've done. Get your butt to that meeting and just listen...u will hear exactly what u need to hear. We isolate ourselves in our addictions and if you've been doing addictions long, I think we have to relearn how to fit back into society. Just my opinion though.
I agree that isolation is a huge enemy to recovery. Personally, it makes me feel so much more pain and despair. I don't want to go out, and the anxiety makes me not want to face anything...even the things I know make me feel good. When I feel this way, I try to think back to what it feels like to do those activities (go to meetings, go to the gym, face a classroom full of people), and the feeling I will get by facing and conquering the challenge versus the feeling I will get by avoiding the challenge. I know what I want to do, which is to run in the other direction and not face it, but I know how good I feel when I do those things, and I try to always force myself to do it which is an exercise in brute strength of will, let me tell you. Things are never as bad as I imagine they are going to be in my head! Once I get there and do it, I feel so much better about myself. When you are alone, you can talk yourself in or out of anything and it all becomes such a mental emotional mess. It's better to get outside of yourself and to commune with other people. That's my experience with anxiety and isolation is that it makes things worse, but often it's hard to force yourself over that barrier into the public sphere. I always tell myself "I will never regret going to the gym, going to class, or going to a meeting, BUT I am sure to regret it and to detract from my own recover if I do not.
Hope someone answers the question, I'm very much like this and always have been. I'm going on nine days now in my studio because my husband will not own his sh*t and apologize to me. This a dance that is dangerous for my personality type. I'm very much a loner yet, .......I'm kinda lonely......s*cks to be me! oh well. I'm learning that my happiness comes from "within" and nothing from anyone or anything will ever "fit the bill".
Keep storming through kiddo. You're doing great. .....great post msD...spot on. Hugs
Hello my friend. Yes, isolation is exactly what your addiction is looking for so it can pounce on you. Your addiction is always looking for a weakness. You said "social anexity makes it really hard to go to meeting." But that meeting is the exact medicine that will put a huge dent in your social anxiety. I have the same social anxiety and have had it all my life. My meetings have helped me.
The thing is that when you feel sad or feel like using, the worst thing you can do is "isolate" because that makes it easy to use because no one is watching. The best thing to do at these times is reach out and tell someone how you are feeling. A friend, relative, sponsor, MH, meeting, PM somebody. These feelings are temporary, come and go, and you need a chance to process the feeling and be talked down off the ledge. Some of us like myself are natural loners. We don't want to burden others or be embarrassed or whatever. This definitely does not apply to our addiction. You have to get help sometimes and especially in the beginning. Try a meeting and you will see that they will welcome you with open arms. No need to be anxious. Reach out whenever needed. We will be here for you!