Aa
last day without and scared
Have been taking Lortab 10 for 4 years. 3 months ago got kicked out of pain clinic...got caught getting them from primary doc and pm..stupid! I have weened from last rx..have one more left. No one knows what I am going through..have no one to talk too...I am extremely sad, anxious and trying to act normal...will I ever feel like I want to live again????? Please someone talk to me........
I went from taking up to 20 Vic 10 a day, had to withdrawl every month until it became easier to withdraw and that scared me, I left town changed my environment, went from Vegas to Georgia country side, sometimes it's not just your addiction,it really is everything around you! Stay positive and stay focused, I'm a mom of 4 and thought I needed it to just do everything that was need for the day!!! I'm sober 2 years now, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about just maybe takin 1, but I know in my heArt I can't!
Hi there and welcome! You are definitely in the right place my friend. This is a great place to get support, encouragement, and answers to your questions. You are posting on an old thread. If you could go to the main page and hit the post a question link you can start your own thread and share your story. Just cut and paste your post if you want. That will ensure that more people see your post and your get all the support you deserve. Congratulations on your 6 days clean! That is great. Hang in there. Emotions are all over the place and can take a while to even out. We have to give our body and brain time to heal. Please stick around and keep posting. This site is a wonderful tool in recovery. Take care!
I have been going through oxycodone/tramadol w/d for 6 days. I have been going cold turkey because I don't want to substitute one pill for others. I started taking them for a back problem and they made me feel so good. I just started abusing them and not taking them as directed. The first couple of days was so hard physically for me, I really wanted to die. But as each day goes by, I am feeling better, I guess. I just don't have the will to do anything, such as even leave my house. I am drowning in a sea of remorse and guilt that I let it get this far. I just want to be the person I used to be. Happy, loving music, sunny days. I just wanted to ask someone, if I can be who I used to be again. I am so sad. :(
Thanks sunshine! praying for all of us..doing better tonight...sense of calm and it feels great!!
hey guys I am going to start a new post...since this one is getting so long..follow me please!!
hey guys I am going to start a new post...since this one is getting so long..follow me please!!
I just want to say Good Night its been a long stressful day, I hope you get some rest tonight your doing great Keep up the good work...my prayers are with you always..Sunshine
agree it is good to post on the same post
but this one is so long it is really hard to follow
means u got lots of support
operhaps time to post a new thread tho cos it is hard to read so much
good luck to u and hang tight
but this one is so long it is really hard to follow
means u got lots of support
operhaps time to post a new thread tho cos it is hard to read so much
good luck to u and hang tight
Vikki--are you ok? what was it.. will you talk about it?? Look..I think things like this are going to happen...look what a great day you had!! Just let it pass!!!! You helped me get through the past 2 hours..I was actually smiling and getting some things done knowing you are doing so well(last post)!! You helped me...crying is healing you..so get it out and dry it up and think about the day when we are going to meet and know we beat this together!! So if I can do it...you WILL too!!!! You will not leave me!!!!! THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!!! (we just want it to pass alot quicker than it is) BUT LOOK HOW FAR WE HAVE COME!!!!!!WE WILL NOT GO BACK!!! hope you are feeling my hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
was doing great or so i thought - trigger hit - cant stop crying like a baby.
i HATE this disease
i HATE this disease
Wow Vicki! You sound great!!! I am so happy for you...God I want to feel good again and not have everything seem so BAD!!!...just got back from walking 2 miles with the family...still smiling, still trying..with that empty pit in my stomach....hey sunshine...I bet your counselor did flip..that is wonderful..you should be so proud..you are reaping your rewards for all your hard work!!
Hey all I am back had a long day at the cardiologist have to have a cardiac catherization on wednesday morning ughhh Im scared but ive been through worse Ill get through this...I am so happy for you cantdothisanymore...awesome attitude you go girl!!!! Im loving this..and Sad I hear ya your doing great and I think a anti depressant would be good I was on one for awhile I was on Zoloft..they recommend i take it for a year but I did 8 mths and they tapered me off.....I saw my counselor today havent seen her in almost 8 mths I figured I was in Gainesville so I stopped by and she about flipped out when she saw me, mind you I was skinny as you know what and just sickly looking, since then I have gained 40 lbs I only weighed 110 when I was there and Im 5' 8" so imagine...she said I looked healthy and was so proud of me it was a great feeling.....she said to me this is what makes my job worthwhile..Well you two keep up the good work it pays off please trust me I know.........love to you all ..Sunshine
ssad (audra) i am busy as hell at the moment and feeling dam good about but want to talk to you. wont be able to post all i want to say til tomorrow but wow - it GETS better and you are only a few days away. Lots of love and all my soul can offer you is coming your way from me. i think of you 24/7 and i NEED you to know that. I wish i had time now to give more but my recovery is hanging in the balance at the moment and i HAVE to move NOW. watch for me tommorrow. I will be needing you and i want to help you in return. Left you my number on pm - do not hesitate to use it. All my love. Vikki ( I WONT DO THIS ANYMORE ) no longer I cant do this anymore. i have turned my corner and just waiting on you hon. Shouting out to dav and sunshine - everything i sais above to sad applies to you too! to us all. I am gonna rock this f'ing disease and kick it's a$$! I just know it!
i think a antidepressant would be best for you at this point...i have been taking celexa and it has helped me so much.....
cont. so I called a family physician locally that I have seen once before...going in the morning to talk about depression..see what he says..I am not getting anything for pain.. you guys..I wouldn't touch that stuff with a ten foot pole at this point...I will not go through what I have and am going through AGAIN!!! I do feel like I need an antidepressant..I used pills to keep me from feeling grief, ugly family situations,etc. I feel like that is weighing on me now....feedback please!!!
gnarly and Dav125--thank you very much to take your time to share..you both have given me lots to think about!! as for the aftercare I am trying....I went to a counselor/psychologist last week let everything out..felt good..I can still go back when I call but...she did say I should be on antidepressant..this would be helpful..gave me a name of a psychiatrist..a long story short I finally got in touch with his office today..talked briefly with the lady who answered the phone..got to the part where she wanted to know why I needed to see him..my response..depressed..trying to get my life back together..addition problems...after that her tone changed and she said well I couldn't get you in until mid August...well I got mad and responded with..what do you do when you need somethingor someone now! she said I'm sorry you might want to call the psychologist back and see if there is someone else she can refer you too...question? should I not have said the word addiction? anyway I felt shuned.. isn't that what a psychiatrist does is straighten someone out that needs it?????
Hi well weather you believe it or not your doing great....your now hitting the emotional part of the withdrawal ...if you remember I told you guys this is 1/3 physical and 2/3 mental...it wasn't to play down the physical part but rather to prepare you for the mental
I just got back from my weekly visit to my substance abuse conslor..and was shearing with him that I have had dreams lately about using and being with old using friends..I have been waking up in a cold sweet ...and thanking God it was only a dream but the mental side of this can be just as challenging as the physical side...one thing he has always told me is yes we can be miserable with this thing from time to time but it is our choice if we suffer...its all up to the perception in our minds...kinda like the glass is 1/2 full or 1/2 empty...you have to live in the now and except it for what it is...there is very little you can do but to except where your at right now...try your best to keep a positive attitude...and choose not to suffer...your so much better off then you where a week ago ...this weeks challenge will be beating the "mindscrew" stage of the game...look at all you have accomplished and give thanks to God for getting you this fare ...your no longer chained to a pill bottle...you just need to learn how to embrace life on lifes terms...as for that empty pit of anxiety in you stomach...I feel for you that was one of my worst symptoms and one that hung in there for a wile also...I hated it but I promise you it will go away...I wish there was a way I could just give you a date you could mark on the calendar but theirs not its different for everybody...my last withdrawal was from methadone...its well known to be long and agonizing and it was...that pit in my stomach lasted around a month but it took a full 90 days for me to not feel sick anymore...witch is typical for methadone...your coming off pills your recovery will be a lot faster then mine ...just keep putting one foot in front of the other and move forward each day...soon you will have 2 weeks clean and look back and feel a lot better then you do now....start becoming pro/active in your recovery...get out and plug into some sort of aftercare....for me a substance abuse conslor has been the best fit for narcotic withdrawal for me...when I layed down the alcohol and weed a bit over 5 yrs ago I went to both N/A and A/A ...at the time it was what I needed and I still believe highly in the 12 step progams...still hit a meeting once in a wile to...I know going to meetings can be a bit intimidating at first but trust me you will feel right at home there ...right now try and cheer up a bit...you really are making good progress and what your feeling is prity normal for as far along as you are....try not to get discouraged with your progress it should only start to get better the longer you put in...chin up....good luck and God bless......Gnarly
I just got back from my weekly visit to my substance abuse conslor..and was shearing with him that I have had dreams lately about using and being with old using friends..I have been waking up in a cold sweet ...and thanking God it was only a dream but the mental side of this can be just as challenging as the physical side...one thing he has always told me is yes we can be miserable with this thing from time to time but it is our choice if we suffer...its all up to the perception in our minds...kinda like the glass is 1/2 full or 1/2 empty...you have to live in the now and except it for what it is...there is very little you can do but to except where your at right now...try your best to keep a positive attitude...and choose not to suffer...your so much better off then you where a week ago ...this weeks challenge will be beating the "mindscrew" stage of the game...look at all you have accomplished and give thanks to God for getting you this fare ...your no longer chained to a pill bottle...you just need to learn how to embrace life on lifes terms...as for that empty pit of anxiety in you stomach...I feel for you that was one of my worst symptoms and one that hung in there for a wile also...I hated it but I promise you it will go away...I wish there was a way I could just give you a date you could mark on the calendar but theirs not its different for everybody...my last withdrawal was from methadone...its well known to be long and agonizing and it was...that pit in my stomach lasted around a month but it took a full 90 days for me to not feel sick anymore...witch is typical for methadone...your coming off pills your recovery will be a lot faster then mine ...just keep putting one foot in front of the other and move forward each day...soon you will have 2 weeks clean and look back and feel a lot better then you do now....start becoming pro/active in your recovery...get out and plug into some sort of aftercare....for me a substance abuse conslor has been the best fit for narcotic withdrawal for me...when I layed down the alcohol and weed a bit over 5 yrs ago I went to both N/A and A/A ...at the time it was what I needed and I still believe highly in the 12 step progams...still hit a meeting once in a wile to...I know going to meetings can be a bit intimidating at first but trust me you will feel right at home there ...right now try and cheer up a bit...you really are making good progress and what your feeling is prity normal for as far along as you are....try not to get discouraged with your progress it should only start to get better the longer you put in...chin up....good luck and God bless......Gnarly
Your guess is as good as mine. Thats a hard call. And that lack of motivation to get up and go really s**ks. Its like you think of doing something and your mind immediately starts going into this depressed mode making it real hard just to get out the door . We get tired just thinking about it Yes , it is a struggle. Remember, your not alone and talking about it is as good a way as any to keep working on processing it out of us. Darn pain in the butt though. Still anger that even today, these medicines still don't come with proper warnings as to what they truly do to people after extended use.
I am supposed to be doing better...but why does this seem to get harder every minute..God help me PLEASE!!! I am leaving the house with my daughter..going to the store..don't want to go but don't want to stay here...when will this dark, depressed, pit of your stomach empty feeling going away??????
Never too far away Sad. You girls are doing great. I do have some busy stuff that needs attending to this week so if I seem to not be around, its because I'm off on road trips I may have to make. Thursday I go back to see the surgeon. For a checkup then an indepth conversation about where I need to draw the line on physical activities from here on out. I know sledgehammers and excessive bending over are definitely out :)
Hey you guys,
Pretty proud of BOTH of you.
Think back to those first 2 days in a sweaty panicky mess thinking you are losing your mind!!!! It HAS gotten better since then, perhaps only marginally but it IS better. Keep that in mind, it will continue to get better.
I remember a time when I bought a new fridge and the door opened from the wrong side. I kept putting off switching it for several months because that's what we men do when we don't feel like doing it!!!! ha ha Anyway, it was still quite usable but it was a bit of a pain. Eventually, I said THAT'S IT!!!!! I changed it and it took me all of about 10 minutes to do it (for the months of struggling, bad deal!!!)
Well, for the next 2 weeks after switching it, EVERY single time I went to the fridge, I tried to open it from the wrong side, the side I had previously conditioned myself to open it from. My point is this, we conditioned our behavior, we conditioned ourselves to take pills for a zillion different reasons whether they be in preparation for stressful situations or in reaction to them or for energy or for this or for that. These behaviors were solidified over many months or years or decades.
You both (and me) are just literally days from trying to readjust this behavior. We are still very much reaching for the wrong side of the fridge still. It isn't going to change by tomorrow though we sure wish it would. This is also the reason aftercare is so important for everybody so that we can learn new ways to deal with life without pills.
To sum it up, keep keeping. Yes my example is not NEARLY as important as the fight we are now fighting but it just shows that for something soooooo insignificant, it can be difficult to change.
Find the positives, you are both to be commended for your progress. I am proud of you both and want you to know that you are both helping ME stay clean remembering what those first few weeks were like.
Please hang in there, you are doing an amazing job. I haven't tried opening my fridge from the wrong side in a long time......so I believe THERE IS HOPE FOR US!!!!!!
bob
Pretty proud of BOTH of you.
Think back to those first 2 days in a sweaty panicky mess thinking you are losing your mind!!!! It HAS gotten better since then, perhaps only marginally but it IS better. Keep that in mind, it will continue to get better.
I remember a time when I bought a new fridge and the door opened from the wrong side. I kept putting off switching it for several months because that's what we men do when we don't feel like doing it!!!! ha ha Anyway, it was still quite usable but it was a bit of a pain. Eventually, I said THAT'S IT!!!!! I changed it and it took me all of about 10 minutes to do it (for the months of struggling, bad deal!!!)
Well, for the next 2 weeks after switching it, EVERY single time I went to the fridge, I tried to open it from the wrong side, the side I had previously conditioned myself to open it from. My point is this, we conditioned our behavior, we conditioned ourselves to take pills for a zillion different reasons whether they be in preparation for stressful situations or in reaction to them or for energy or for this or for that. These behaviors were solidified over many months or years or decades.
You both (and me) are just literally days from trying to readjust this behavior. We are still very much reaching for the wrong side of the fridge still. It isn't going to change by tomorrow though we sure wish it would. This is also the reason aftercare is so important for everybody so that we can learn new ways to deal with life without pills.
To sum it up, keep keeping. Yes my example is not NEARLY as important as the fight we are now fighting but it just shows that for something soooooo insignificant, it can be difficult to change.
Find the positives, you are both to be commended for your progress. I am proud of you both and want you to know that you are both helping ME stay clean remembering what those first few weeks were like.
Please hang in there, you are doing an amazing job. I haven't tried opening my fridge from the wrong side in a long time......so I believe THERE IS HOPE FOR US!!!!!!
bob
I am so proud..6 hrs of work!!! you did it and you sound great!! I am envious in a way I still feel stuck in the hole..I want friends to talk to and plan things with but through the years I isolated myself...anyway I will overcome!! hungry? that's great...good sign!! I wish you were here now for that cup of coffee...I would probably settle for tea, though..don't need anything else to make me jittery..I think I have had enough of that to last me the rest of my life..I know what you mean about the pill..I made myself clean out the frig...hating it the whole time...believe it or not I used to enjoy housework...take a pill and clean for hours...I have actually stopped walking to my hiding place to get one though...keep it up and enjoy the rest of your day..one minute I go forward and the next I am back again....still pushing through it...gotta get up and move...
OK MOM309-tramahater-Dav125-sunshine-gnarly-jstntime-quitinoxys-want2bme and everybody else out there too.... we need you don't leave us!!!
OK MOM309-tramahater-Dav125-sunshine-gnarly-jstntime-quitinoxys-want2bme and everybody else out there too.... we need you don't leave us!!!
you are welcome and i expect the same kick when appropriate. we have kinda latched on to each other here like life support. i dont know about you but it damn sure is helping me. i like to think the next time i am out that way visiing it will be sober and you and i can go have a CUP OF COFFEE for a little perk cuz that will be all we need.
thank you for the kick in the butt...I know I will do this..going back is not an option..yes I do think back to last monday at this time I was a WRECK...I do feel stronger now..we will keep going..this fight is so hard....you doing better today? I know working has got to help...I work for school system so I have a few weeks yet...is good in a way but I really need that to keep my mind on something else..hang in there girl!!!we almost have another day under the belt...sending hugs!!!
day 10 sad and I am better. you will be too. the cravings and lack of energy are the wrost part. we cannot dwell or we drive ourselves crazy. remember - you said you will save 600 to 800 a month. dwell on that. you will fee better i promise promise promise! this is H..,..A.....R....D. the hardest thing i have ever done but I cant afford it anymore. the dr seeking - the script seeking from friends the damage to my kids lives all of it! dwell on how miserable you were when you were out? do you want that frantic feeling all the time or just the next few days? stay with me sister. if i have to come to GA to kick your butt id have to visit family there that i dont want to see! get on my bandwagon lady
physically feeling better..emotionally and mentally are killing me...want to crawl in a hole and die!!! overwhelmed! I know I am being impatient..having a hard time just looking at today...my thoughts travel.ie.to the future how am I going continue being a mom strong for my children friends..work..planning family functions feeling like this..not being able to handle simple things now...is this a typical thought pattern..did anybody else feel like this...my husband says but you won't feel like this in 3 months...is he right..because right now I don't believe any of it.....God help me..it is starting again!!!!!!!!!
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