losing it,,,,,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok,,,anyone who has read my posts from yesterday,,,please help! I was indicted today on 13 charges. I want to use so bad! I can't take this chit!

[jossysmom]

What do you need? You seem in extreme distress?

[punk_rockbarbie]

I am used to taking around 200 500 mg Vicodin weekly, and I feel as though, with the w/d and court that I can't take it! I was told today by someone to have my liver checked. I swear I'm not lying,,,,I actually took 64 pills in 1 day. I don't think I can handle all this.

[road2recovery]

i have read your post...and i am so sorry..But listen if you use, you will be in more c r ap..then before..i now many in your situation, that got out of alot because they got clean and went to rehab...don't get me wrong i am not trying to judge you...i have lied, stole , etc...i just never got caught...The fact is you did, so please don't use..Read CATUF post...Sometimes i wish i would of and had to do random drug test , to stay clean.....I am only 38 days and it is tough.,...i am so sorry you got caught...Beleive me i think everyone here has done things that we should of got caught , but now you have to think about what am i going to do to get clean, and my life back...Just maybe this is it...
Sorry i  sound harsh i don't mean too....But at one point we have to stop are we are going to die..I wish you the best, and after reading you rpost, i think u will have to go to rehab and probation right??
Tell us more so we can help u
R2R

[jossysmom]

Do you still have access to the vicoden? If so, maybe you should try to taper....rather than c/t. What is the next step the court is going to take?

[road2recovery]

13 charges of what??And also are you out on bond??? you don't want to detox in jail....
talk to us , vent , cry, scream
we will listen
r2r

[3grlz'mom]

Do you have a lawyer?  I'd get one asap, and also request immediate inpatient rehab.  The legal issues are going to be too stressful to endure when you are going through w/ds.  If you go to rehab right away, they can keep you comfortable enough so you can handle things as they come up.  If you stay home and stop using and try to handle all the legal stuff, it'll drive you to possibly make more mistakes.  Have you ever looked into rehab before?

[punk_rockbarbie]

The only rehab around here said they would detox me with Valium. I don't need that! I am having the worst time! I actually have a skin infection on my *** right now from w/d. God, it would be so great to have this all just go away. I swear,,,I don't know how much moreI can take!

[road2recovery]

I don't think it matters what they are going to put you on there,, the fact is just going into rehab from  what i know from a best friend, it got her off of going to jail...
Are you going to go to jail?
I am not understanding?
R2R

[punk_rockbarbie]

I don't know. I have alot of 13 felony charges,,,,what do u think?

[3grlz'mom]

Detoxing w/ valium is a short-term thing.  I would much rather be locked safely inside a rehab center on lots of valium for a while, able to sleep and being looked after than to take my chances detoxing at home with the stress of 13 indictments on you.  Going directly to rehab might look better for you when it's time to go to court - you took it seriously and immediately got help.  

[road2recovery]

What do you mean what do i think??? i am only trying to help you...i would much rather go to rehab then jail , and i would not worry about valuim,,, i would hope when i go to rehab they would give me valuim to help my w/d's and worrying about what next...Like i said i had a good friend that went through something like this, threw herself in rehab, didn't care what they gave her.....She didn't derserve jail, but needed to get clean to save her life..And it did , saved her life and her bu tt from jail or detoxing in jail..
Sorry i was just trying to help you...
R2R

[Al Wilson]

i agree with the others, get into that rehab if you can.  Being sick with w/ds and all the stress of the sitiuation.  The valium would help calm you down at least a little.  Not trying to sound like a d***, but you have to take care of you right now.  What's done is done.  Go forward from right now.  Prayer sent.

[road2recovery]

i really don't understand...You said the only place you can find will detox you on valuim and you don't need that??? so going to jail is better then detoxing on valuim??

i understand you are freaking out...i would too...But you do you prefer to detox in jail with nothing??
Wouldn't  it be better to show you are getting help no matter what they put you on to get better and stay out or jail?
R2R

[cdentata]

R2R is right, you'll be getting it one way or another; I cannot imagine stopping c/t in a loud, crowded, crazy jail and not getting any sleep.  There is no privacy and little mercy.  At least in a supervised detox center you will get enough respect to get some sleep.  Legal problems are the least of your worries right now if you really think about it.  If you didn't have legal problems would you quit?  Maybe the legal problems are one of those "horrible" blessings in disguise.  You'll live through jail....the pills will kill you.  I sympathize entirely with the position you are in, and a lot of compassion will be shown to you if you show you are serious, by appearing in court for the trial with detox behind you, standing tall and sober.

I'll remember you in my prayers...I tapered down from the same amount you are taking in 2 weeks...I know that is a lot different than c/t...but go to detox, they may have more there than you think.  They may taper you down, but not advertise it - only say that they have valium to get the serious junkies that want to get clean through the door.

[avisg]

punk, cold hard truth, if you  use right now you are  your risk of going to jail will be even higher. I agree with everyone else go inpatient do everything thing you have to get treatment NOW. They will take that into consideration . I dont want to see you have to detox in jail that would be truly awful.
   I know you are terrified . You will make it thru this . We will be here for you as much as we can .
Avis

[alwaysanaddict]

YES, you do not want to detox in jail. Go to inpatient, take valium and it def will be better than nothing at all and sitting in jail going f***ing nuts!!!! Please, take a step back and breath.
xoxoxox

[retiredrn]

I wish rehab had been available for me when I quit.  You are so lucky to have that option.  

[Carrie76]

Go to the rehab!!! It seems to me that you have two choices...either dont go to rehab and wether your clean or not they will probably hit you with alot of jail time for 13 felonies. OR...go to rehab and then when you go to court when they see your in rehab they will more than likely go a WHOLE lot easier on you if they see your in rehab and getting help. Don't worry about the valium....GET INTO THAT REHAB!!! Please...this is really your only option. If you go into court and your not in rehab they will hit you hard!!!  Ohh...I feel for you soo much!!! I'm so sorry your having to go through this.((((HUGS))))))

[beachtowel]

13 felonies boy I thought I was in big trouble when I crashed and burned with 7 felonies.......

[beachtowel]

How are you not in jail with 13 felonies?
Your family must know a bail bonds really well.........

[notmenow!]

Punk, Sorry things turned out the way they did, call this number for residential detox centers in ohio the number is toll free 877-254-3348. They will find you the kind of detox you need, tell them you want 30 days inpatient w/a suboxone or methadone detox. If the best you can find is clonodine and librium take it, as others have mentioned you don't want to detox in jail or actually prison. Have you called an attorney like I suggested. When do you go back to court are you out on bail. Do you have health ins or medicaid or medicare? Let me know when you go back to court!

When you call detox and they do intake. say no if they ask about any legal problems!!!
Is there a doctor left you can get valium and clonodine from?  Pray like you never prayed before--noah

[punk_rockbarbie]

Not sure if I can get into a doctor, my family one just dropped me. I do have medicaid. Why should I say no about the legal problems? The medicines you mentioned, what do they do? Do they help with w/d?

[No name22]

Wow if I were you I'd find a inpatient fast and make it an emergency...Or go to the ER and see what they can do...Have you spoke to an attorney?

[notmenow!]

Regarding the legal problems they may ask you about. They would rather you not have any baggage when you enter Detox. And many times they are not sure what they are getting. Like a person being charged with violent offences and or sex charges. Remember the detox facilities are co-ed.

But you have medicaid there must be at least 6 in Ohio or surrounding states that take medicaid.
I know of a detox in Worcester Ma. called AdCare Hospital. They  have contracts with many states as far as medicaid is concerned. The will even go as far as Pa. to pick you up and will bring you back to PA. Can you get to Pennsylvania?

ADcare uses methadone for detox and keep you very comfortable. Smoking is allowed

Some detox facilities use suboxone which I am on for maintenance. It makes all the symptoms of detox disappear, It's amazing it really is. I would take the suboxone over methadone because the side effects are much easier to deal with,   Punk HAVE YOU EVER DONE A DETOX BEFORE AND ARE YOU STILL USING? Get Back to me, Time is running out-----------------NOAH