losses...

Has anyone experienced losses while using, or going through withdrawal/detox..abstinence. Such as having to leave a job, or being discharged, because you couldn't both work efficiently, and withdrawl (withdrawal) from opioids...or maybe theres someone special you had to let go, or get away from, so you had time to heal...to begin to like yourself again....please share with me if you would...I do think that we need to make ourselves #1 when it comes to healing....if we con't like ourselves, how can we share ourselves with others....I believe focus, no matter what our losses, should be on our recovery....can anyone share thoughts?

[ohsnap]

I feel like I can't be around my Mom as much as I would like to.  She has a constant supply of Darvocet or Vicodin due to her Endimitriosis.  And some days I handle it just fine, and other days the mental craving is more than I can bear.  I haven't seen her in a couple of weeks, and that is hard.  But I feel like my recovery is in jeporady everytime I'm around her. :(

[Mis Take]

Sadly, I believe loss is a very large part of addiction and it usually takes a loss to recognize a problem.  Great loss is what lead me to finding the way out for my husband and I.  SO, I guess I have to be thankful for loss!!  Just wanted to respond and say that though Im sure we have all lost much - the end result with hopefully be worth a whole lot more!!

sincerest wishes, M

[Marce4]

That's a tough one!  I guess we have to stay away from our triggers. If you are in a relationship and the person is an enabler, maybe that is someone to get away from but if they are supportive in your recovery, you wouldn't need to leave.  I think certain people, places and things that are triggers and would cause a relapse we definately need to stay away from if at all possible!

[OhioVicoguy]

I am on the verge of a job loss....I can't withdrawal, and focus, when I'm on the road calling on clients, making presentations, doing reports..I just can't handle it. I, just today, asked to take 2 vacation days...tomorrow, and friday, to hook that into my weekend, and give me a few days to get it together, because today is my day#1. Now they are hedging, and I've been told the sales manager, or operations manager will call me later. And...they know of my problem with vicodin! I don't expect a pleasant phone call. I also had met a very dear, and sweet woman...I fell for her big time....she lives 2 1/2 hours away, and I seemed to suffer panic attacks, and major anxiety whenever I'd go see her....not due to her....but I think to the several times I went cold turkey. I thing emotional relationships, especially long distance ones that create emotional ups and downs, are hard for us to deal with when we're coming off addiction. I soooo saddenly, had to distance myself from her. Am I right in wanting to focus on the rough road ahead? I just find it hard to recover with the things that bring me anxiety. I appreciate all of your thoughts everyone :)

[ohsnap]

You have to do what's right for YOU.  If this is something she could handle and help you with, maybe you could continue this relationship. If not, you need to be able to step away, and focus on yourself.  My fiance has been wonderful through this whole ordeal, but we have been together before/during/after(?) my addiction.  That may make a difference as well.  I'm so sorry about your job situation.  I wish you luck with all your decisions/endeavors.

[Mis Take]

Though sad and probably hard for her to understand, whatever makes this "easier" for you is what you need to do.  Anxiety is an awful part of w/d and any added anxiety would, I believe, be debilitating.  I hope you shared this problem with her and she is understanding - though I imagine it would be hard for anyone who hasn't been through it to fully understand.  The job part - we went through as well.  My husband was not able to get work done (sounds like the same kind) while we were using and especially while coming off.  He is now working on starting his own company that will, I hope, prove to be better in the long run.  Whatever happens, in my opinion, all will work out the way it is supposed to.  Just take care of you, stay focused and achieve the ultimate GOAL in all this.  NO MORE PILLS!!  then stick to your convictions.  

Good luck to you and God Bless,

SIncerely,
M

[OhioVicoguy]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I could love the girl I'm talking about, till the end of the earth...but, she lives so far away, and has no idea about any type of problem, and with her active and professional lifestyle pared with the fact that when we were together, she talked about how alcohol abuse ruined her first marriage....well.....I just thought I'd better step back, and get my life together. If maybe down the road, she may still be around, then so be it. I just thought I better let all stress, and anxiety producing situations go.....focus on me...the more I like me, the more others will like me.....instead of going to a restaurant with my lady, and suffering an anxiety attack....why don't i just get well first, then it'll all be fun. Thanks for listening!

[Mis Take]

no problem and anytime!!!

I really think you are doing the right thing.  You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and are making decisions from a "good" place.  good luck and please post to me again.  I would love to hear of your progress - you will do it!!

take care,M