lost and don't know what to do

my son is 23 and has been on hydro for 3 years now, some days he can take up to 10-12 a day. he has tried rehap didn't work, he was home 1 week and back on them. I am lost and don't know what to do to help him get off.  He say's he wants off but harder than it looks I quess i have never been on them so i don't know.  Rehap is too expensive and he can't afford it.  IS THERE ANY ONE OUT THAT Can give any advise???

[gizzy32]

Welcome to the forum. May I ask how long he was in rehab for? There are many here that came off drugs and pills sucessfully here, but it's not easy at first. We have to really want this for ourselves and work at it to stay clean, but it's so worth it. If he really wants to quit, then he needs to come up with a plan on how to do so. Would he be willing to come on here?

Sometimes tough love is the only approach to help someone you love. Most of us in active addiction will lie and manipulate to keep our addiction alive, it takes control over us, but there is help out there for him, rehab is not the only option. I am going to send you a link that I hope helps a bit. I am not sure if there are any alanon or narcanon meetings in your area, but if so, they could be very beneficial to you and how to help him also. Good luck to you and your son, you will get a lot of great advice here.

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.html

[loser50]

Hi my Name is Vinny and I have been a junkie for 40yrs and in those 40yrs I was clean for short times. this last time was from 1997 to 2006  then I got hurt and was in constint pain so I went to the doctor and he put me on narco hydrocodone its 4 years later and I take 6-8 pills aday Last week I decided to stop its hard and im failing so I Have a game plane it will work for me but not knowing your son and looking at his age I really dont think its the type of detox he needs as far as programs all he has to do is go to the hospital and say hes gonna kill himself or even better you call 911 and say he is trying too they will take it from there you have to be stronger then him and he will have to stay in the mental ward for about a month but he will be clean when he leaves I dont have that option I have a wife and 2 babies its time he mans up he could do it god bless and step back he is the only one that can do this.

[LIZZIE LOU]

i've heard that before.

my sons will say that they dont want to do drugs or drink...but it is usually in a time of crisis...then right back to their drug of choice they go.

what i have found is that talk is cheap... and as the saying goes..."actions speak louder than words."  next time he makes that statement...call him out on it.  ask him exactly "what" he is willing to do to make it happen?  is he willing to change his life around?  leave his using friends?  is he willing to put as much effort into getting and remaining clean as he is into scoring his drug of choice?  how about AA/NA?  is he willing to get to meetings (which i'm sure he probably did not do when leaving rehab).

as much as we as mother's would like to FIX IT...we cant.  the responsiblity for his sobriety has to be put back on him or it will never work.  i do not know you, your son, or what has gone on in the past 3 years...but i can speak from a personal experience here.  we...as mothers...will enable the hell out of our children...ALL IN THE NAME OF LOVE.  i urge you to take a moment to reflect back and see if you are, in any way, contributing to his adddiction.  please dont take offense to that statement...i'm not blaming you for his addiction...no way.  most parents dont even know that they are enabling their chilren.  

above all...take care of yourself.  you did not cause this...and you cannot fix this.  what you can do is make sure that you support his recovery and not his addiction.

[dellta]

Hi first im sorry for your situation im on the other side im a addict and on day 7 claen from a pretty bad pain pill habbit for over a year !!! and no one in my familt knows actuly no one knows except my 2yr old son who has been with me sinse he was 6mo old and trust me going threw w/d while taking care of a baby is HARD!!!!! your son is very lucky to have you and have support from you and maybe he should read everyones stuff here and maybe become a member for the support here but you have to ask your son if he realy wants to stop then he needs to break all connections with all who help him get the pills or you do have the rite as a parent to inform his doctor of what is going on and ask for docs help or talk to your son about getting on subboxone NOT METHADONE!!! or some other form of medication to help him to stop and  n/a and aa are great for support and you my want to go yourself to get some insite anyway i truley wish you the best of luck and everyone on here are here for eachother