marijuana vs marital relations

I have been dating a wonderful woman for about 16 mths (5mths common-law). We are in our 40s, very much in love and happy. However, I find myself increasingly more uncomfortable with what I believe to be negative effects of her smoking pot. At first, the puffing was just what she said it would be..."the odd puff". Now I am afraid it has much more control over things than she cares to admit. ie) takes it with her to work (to puff on the way home); always later than she says she'll be (sometimes hours); it's now coming up in family squabbles (her grown daughters); and watching TV til 2,3, even 4am (always has a puff soon after I go to bed). Lately though, she has started to come up with very odd questions reguarding her trust in me ie) '...my friend's husband left her for another guy, should I fear you'll turn gay too?'; '...my friend caught her hubby chatting on line with a woman...do I need to worry about you?; and most recently, '...is it women who comment on your new jacket?' I am afraid to ask her to quit even though she cares a great deal for me. She is very independent, and otherwise responsible. But I am worried about her career and safety (driving) as well as our future together. Can you direct me to helpfull sites to aide me (us) through this? Thanks

[uncle_vice]

Well I have always seen the green as harmless, at least in my case. I never liked smoking until I got sick with cancer then I saw first hand why the drug has medical value. I now smoke a little bowl occasionally in the evening to relax. I do not bring it to work with me or come home late because I smoke, these things lead me to believe something else may be going on other then the pot. I dont not hide my use of marijuana either. Then again my spouse has no issues with me smoking. Your best bet is to discuss the issues that are bothering you. Harboring your feelings may be causing more tension in the relationship. Approach her with concern and tell her how you feel, I have no doubt she will listen.