methadone clinic

i have been on lortab for over 8 years. i am prescribed it by my doctor however my tolerance level is so high i am buying so much off the streets we are gonna go broke. We have a methadone clinic about 40 minutes away, and I thought it would be better to use it to get off the lortab, which by the way, I have been taking between 30-50 pills a day, 10 mg..depending on what i can find and afford. I know it's alot, but now I am scared of the methadone program too. It seems it may be worse to kick later than weening myself off the tabs, but now I'm not strong enough to do that either. I have chronic back pain, and to tell the truth life ***** right now. God, I don't know what to do...try the clinic tomorrow or not. Here they offer methadone or suboxone, have to go daily, and one is $125 weekly, the other is $100. Either of those choices beat the hundreds I'm spending now. Plz help.

[atthebeach]

hi and welcome to MH. good for you that you want to get off the lortab. there is no easy way out. definitely do not recommend meth or the subs. so much harder and longer of a detox, check out some of the meth posts on here. if you quit the lortab yes you will be sick for a few weeks but you will be done. if you switch to either sub or meth. you will just prolong it and still  have withdrawal anyway. after you have used for years the toxins and poisons need to be flushed out of your body and this take time.
the pain gets so much worse the longer you stay on the pills. most of the people on here find they can manage their pain once off the pills with alternative treatments. physical therapy,exercise,over the counter meds,chiropractor.
there are supplies you can get to make your detox more comfortable and we are here to support & encourage you,

i will pray for you
debbie

[tinabe40]

thanks for the encouragement. i am so afraid of the clinic now, I guess i should just quit the old fashioned way. I have endured this once before and kicked it, then a few years and 2 car wrecks later..back on the tabs again. I don't snort or use other substances. I don't even drink. I'm scared. But, I'll have to do this. I can't afford the pills anymore. I'm breaking us financially and feel so guilty everyday. It's sad. Honestly, suicide has come to thought..and I hate it. My father killed himself when I was 15. Not over drugs however. I just feel lost.

[atthebeach]

hey hun, as long as you have breathe there is hope. many on here came just as broken as you are and there is healing. there is a future. how many pills do you have now?

[tinabe40]

I have about 40. Which I bought today. The clinic is opened tomorrow for newbies. Tuesdays are the only newby days...Im scared. But if methadone will help me to get off these then I will do it.

[gnarly_1]

HI  I have to agree3 with atthebeach methadone or sub is not a way out it is just a way into another prison cell if you jump off the lortabs your detoxed in a week and back up in runnig in a couple of more if you go the methadone route or believe the B/S the doctors will tell you about sub having no withdrawals your going to be jumping from the frinying pan into the fire
I was on methadone for 6 1/2 yrs it just about killed me coming off it I was sick for the first 90 days now do you really want to trade that fro a few bad weeks.....we will support you in what ever you do but just know your getting yourself in deeper with replacement drugs we can walk you threw a home detox if you dont think you can do it check into the salvation army they have free detox centers but this is something you can kick on your own let us know what you decide good luck and God bless..........Gnarly

[tinabe40]

I have read many of ur comments on here..and I am so gonna need a support system. I just get so dope sick that I would beg for a freaking pill. So, that's why i thought methadone was the answer. I was all up for going in the morning til I started reading on this site...wow! I am as scared as ever now. The clinic said prepare for 4 hours there seeing nurses, counselors, and a doctor. What happens in these 4 hours, and the days following? I know nothing about this stuff.

[atthebeach]

if you have been aking 30-50 a day so those will last 1 day. well ok then tomorrow instead of going to the clinic go get the supplies you need to detox. my husband was on meth for 10 yrs. ct 20mg sic,sick,sick for months. once you start they dont want you to get off and the taper is very very slow. it is a business. we have people on here who still keep going to the clinic and they clinic is giving them 1 or 2 mg it is a drop and the clinic  convincing them to keep coming. it is a mind game. then you will be chained to the methadone clinic and that bottle.
are you married?

[tinabe40]

Yes i  am married. He's at the end of his rope with me too. But, continues to try because he knows my pain level is so high without meds. But, we argue alot...about this bc of the spending. He is a pot smoker, but doesn't spend the money i do, and unknowingly to him, I just for the first time got myself in debt with a drug dealer and a good friend...God im scared.

[atthebeach]

what is the matter with your back?  you know this will only get worse if you continue in this as it is. drug dealer and good friend those just go seem to go together well. do you work? do you have any children?

[gnarly_1]

you dont have to live this way many of us have been there ....theres not a drug I havent detoxed from except heroin trust me you dont want to get involved with methadone and sub is not much better it will put your addiction on hold it wont get you high it will give you a chance to put your life back together with aftercare like N/A so when you do eventually come off you can stand on your own 2 feet .....after being on the stuff and dealing with the withdrawals .....I would run the other way if someone was to offer it to me I know you think your backed into a corner right now but you could start to cut your use down when you got down some jump off it would be very doable like that the clinics are a one way street into years of use no one plans on spending 6 1/2 yrs there but I did and there are people who have been there 10+ yrs and look like the walking dead I dont even want to get into all the side effects there not pleasant and sertantly not worth the trade.....Gnarly    

[tinabe40]

I don't work. My husband has a business, but I have been a stay at home mom for a long time, but my youngest is now 17. I have 2 hernieated discs, and 3 bulging...stenosis, and a pinched nerve between my L3-L4 disc. I am on muscle relaxers, neurontin, stuff for gout, and tabs. My drug dealer is seperate from the good friend. I mean, I owe them both....money. I have never gotten myself into this kind of spot before, and Im very well aware of how bad it's going to get..which is why I am looking for help.

[tinabe40]

Well, thats what I am seeking is advice and support. I have never thought of methadone til recently and that's just bc someone I know says it helps when they have no painkillers. So, I was considering it. I dont get high off of tabs...don't even get sleepy. They help with my back pain if I take enough, and when I don't have enough...the withdrawals are to the point I'm afraid I'll end up in the hospital. I am going to try and do this without methadone or suboxone.

[atthebeach]

that is a very good decision. it will get better much quicker that way. do you think you can do a little taper with the ones you have now? make they last a few days.?

[tinabe40]

i am going to have to make it work somehow...I'll be sick. God the sickness...but I'll do it nonetheless..I have to or I am gonna lose my husband. Im not going to the clinic...at least not yet, probably never now that I have educated myself on the particulars of the drugs used. I just hope y'all are here on a daily basis...I'm gonna need some encouragement. Thank you and gnarly for your input. I appreciate it.

[atthebeach]

GOD will make a way when there seems to be no way. keep the faith.
take lots of hot epsom salt baths, take advil,motrin, use heating pad and ice, get immodium,bananas, gatorade,juices, hylands restful legs, magnesium pills, melatonin and valerian root. please try to relax this is going to all be ok. yes we will be here for you.
please keep up posted.
you are welcome
i am praying for you
debbie

[tinabe40]

again, debbie, thanks. I'll be 40 Sat..so let's see how this turns out.

[atthebeach]

well there you go tina be 40.

[gnarly_1]

HEY im on here every night between 10 and 12 mountain time if your stilll up its 10.50 here now

[petroglyph54]

Well at least you've decided to do this while your still young! I assure you it get's harder when you get older. So when you come out the other side you'll still have lots of years to enjoy.
If your dr. has been writing scrips for that long he/she is probably surprised that you haven't asked to increase your dosage or strength in that long them knowing full well about the tolerance build up. Not to diminish your pain or addiction but tabs are on the lower end of the narcotic addiction ladder, whereas methadone or subs are really heavy meds.
I think most clinics won't turn you loose at first with a weeks worth of meds either, usually you have to go every day for awhile even to get enough for weekends, so the driving cost can be added to the med charges, plus tax if it applys?
I probably continued using narcotic pain killers for close to a year longer than I could have had I been able to fully believe that my pain level would decrease after detox. Reading here long enough and seeing others who have went through the exact same thing come out the other side swearing that their pain level decreased and became tolerable using  non narcotic pain management technic's helped convince me to get clean long enough to do a realistic pain evaluation. Well I'm here and I swear I'm in less pain now 4 month's clean than when I was taking 200 mg's per day of oxy.
Keep reading, there's alot to learn. Keep using there's alot to lose. Most here have went through the wd process, no one seems to have liked it. But there is nothing to fear, it can be over soon. Good luck

[sefus]

i am in the same boat considering the methodone clinic.  my problem is roxys though and not nearly as dependent as you are.  i truly wish you the best my friend.  its not a fun process to say the least.  this is my first pill addiction.  i was thinkin about going for a week just to ease these withdrawls.  i am weening myself off but have literally slept maybe four hours the past three days.  i gotta get one roxy tomorrow after work just to catch up on sleep.  is it really a bad idea?  i have taken dones previously to quit but just didnt have the 100% will to quit, but i know i want to badly this time.  too damn expensive and being shady to the ones i love.  i was doing 180 mg a day and now i am takin one a day and didnt take one today and its horrible.  i know the third and forth day are the worst but i just feel like i cant do it cold turkey.  panic attacks, no sleep, sore legs and back, cold sweats etc. are symptoms i am having and god its tough.  stick with it buddy, lets do this together

[atthebeach]

hey tina whos almost 40. what did you decide to do? havent heard back from you,
were you able to stick with the taper.
praying
debbie

[tinabe40]

Im off...3 days now. im taking potassium and multivitamins and muscle relaxers (non habit forming) I drink alot of pepsi..LOL not stopping that. No methadone or suboxone..nothing. Im doing this..today is my birthday.

[tinabe40]

YOU can do this my friend!!! I am doing this and I thought I'd be dead by now, but here I am, and you know things are not as bad as they usually are which scares the hell out of me. But, the potassium and vitamins are helping, because I don't eat. I can't because my stomach isn't in the best shape. Usually at the first 24 hours without..I am sweating so bad, I have to change clothes many times, but don't shower because just don't feel like it for the lack of energy. I have the runs like crazy...and my legs cramp severely. I have alot of anxiety about getting my next dose of pills..where oh where to find them today. I am 40 today and never thought I'd be an addict but here I am trying to fight this craving. See, that's what I am going thru right now..that craving...oh so hard to fight. Thought of going to see someone to get some pills but didn't..one for me, zero for the pills...but I take this day by day...im only 3 days but i hope tomorrow i can say 4 and then 5..but i tell you, ive been where you are and will be going...it's hard but you can do this..so can i.

[atthebeach]

happy birthday tina  this will be one to remember. you are giving yourself a very nice birthday present,getting clean. congratulations. i am so glad you decided no more anything.
how are you feeling? make sure you move around, good on the vitamins,
keep posting so we can encourage you,and you can just vent if you need to.
praying for you.keep the faith
debbie

[tinabe40]

hey..well, I'm doing. thats about it. :), but I know its for the better, and im in a different environment than my usual home..im at my moms to get thru this. I have deleted my dealers names off my phone...this morning.  I have my refill appt the 14th...UGG! I don't wanna go. and prolly wont. I want to stay clean but any stress leads to me craving bigtime!!! I hope this gets better as the time goes..as i know it must. I just feel kinda weird becuz i don't feel as messed up as usual..Im just going with it tho. No questions. LOL..I pray alot..maybe God is helping..I hope so. But, Im trying. I couldve bought today and didn't...so thats one for me. Thanks for the encouragement.

[atthebeach]

day 3 you will start to feel better tomorrow by faith day 3 or 4 are usually the worst. great job deleting all the numbers. if and when they call you just ignore them they will go away. rebuke the devil and he will flee. dealers= demons doing the devils work. on tuesday please call and set up some counseling for yourself. this will really help with your recovery and help you stay a recovering addict and not an active one. yes HE answering your prayers, HE is able. be strong in HIM and the power of HIS might.
if you use again it will set you back. you will get through this.
praying and holding you up
debbie

[azaddict]

For me Methadone was the devil's drug. I was using 60 10mg Norcs a day and decided to go on Methadone. I never felt good, was always dope sick in the morning, gained 40-60lbs and slept all the time. I had one foot in the grave. I had to get off it. I was so desperate I went for detox under anesthesia. Then I went through about 2 months of hell

[azaddict]

I stayed clean for 7 months. The Rapid Detox was no picnic and you think I would have learned my lesson. So, I detoxed again, relapsed in 2 days, went on a 6 month run, detoxed again but with Suboxone. It was a quick 4 day detox, inpatient. I relapsed shortly after and the thing about it is it's been a short relapse but I'm still quite ill

[azaddict]

I can't do this anymore it has to stop. I've been sick so many times, waisting my life away.

I'm now on day 3, it's tough but what choice do we have. Losing everything , jails, institutions or death...

[tinabe40]

Im with you...day 3 and im so scared of day 4 and 5. I don't know exactly how to feel becuz my w/ds aren't as bad as normal. But, Im spending so much money...we are about broke. I can't believe this but my addiction is bad. I really want some meds right now, but have no money to get them. I did have a way earlier and didnt, so Im hoping tomorrow will be day 4 for me. Im lost, and need to find myself again. Good luck to us all...

[azaddict]

Good for you not getting more pills. Hang in there, this is the best birthday gift you can receive.

azaddict

[tinabe40]

thanks...take care.

[vicki595]

Tina-  I just read through this thread. Good for you for getting away from the pills!! It gets better, you have to know that.

In the meantime, take care of yourself. Be sure to keep up on your fluids! Dehydration is a huge concern during detox along with low blood sugar so be sure and eat!

Take some vitamins and minerals. You need potassium,magnesium,calcium. Get yourself into a hot bath!  Get some HylandsRestful Legs at Walmart/Walgreens. Post back with any questions or problems,okay?  You're doing a great thing here.

Happy Birthday!

[tinabe40]

Woot! Woot!...4 days for me...and I am feeling better everyday. Scared of a relapse just because i now recognize Im an addict..yes folks...an addict who can't be trusted just yet. But Im taking this one day at a time, and I am armed with support, and vitamins, and potassium. I am going to be clean..I can feel it.

[jewlz2626]

4 days for you, 4 days for me! We can rejoice together :) Congrats! I know it's a HUGE deal for me after 10 years of this crap! Keep on truckin!! Julie

[atthebeach]

hey hun wanted to check in and see how you are doing? physically,mentally,emotionally and spiritually? how long are you going to stay with your mom?
please make sure you move around, take some walks, do jumping jacks,
i am praying for you to be strong and to be healed
sending hugs and blessings
debbie

[conflictedx]

I think you made a great choice by not going to the methadone clinic. You're at the point now to where you're getting past the physical w/d's.....watch for your triggers and try to avoid places that you might get the pills from.  Addiction is strong and it will test you.  You can do it if you really want it though, its definitely a life long process.  

[gnarly_1]

HEY its been a few days how you feeling are you still here with us btw happy 4th of july
just checking up on you.......Gnarly

[tinabe40]

well, the physical wds are still awful. Im sweating, shaking..etc. The foggy feeling in my head hasn't let up. I feel like crap. But, im going to do this. Thanks for checking on me. I went out of town to a friend's house for a couple of days. She's a counselor, and helped me quite a bit.

[atthebeach]

hey thanks for checking in. congratulation you are on the 6th day. great job. keep fighting the good fight. you are making it. you should be starting to feel better. have you been eating,exercising, make sure you are pushing the fluids.
keep praying, so glad you have support it is so important.
keep the faith, HE is faithful, to bring you through.
praying for you,hugs
debbie

[tinabe40]

if the internal shakes would quit...then maybe id feel better.

[gnarly_1]

HI  I just want to encourage you to keep going this is going to take every bit of perseverance you have and then some....Devin intervention therew Jesus got me threw when I had no more fight in me cry out to him he hears those that ask for his help pray to hime to eaz the shaking I hakted that partb to but it all part of getting off this stuff your doing good just remember we do this /......''just for today'' make it threw each day the best you can
your wining this slowly but thats how methadone goes if I can do it anyone can
I had a 16 1/2 yr run on narcotics 6 1/2 on methadone my withdrawals where brutal
but day by day it gets better are you sleeping yet ?? it took 2mo for me to get a desent nights sleep that and the energy crash is a bit much but a lot of ou have made it just take it for granted your going to be sick for a wile but onvce you start to dsee the light you will run after it good lucvk and God bless.....Gnarly//////keep poeting  

[tinabe40]

Im detoxing off of 50 tab 10s a day. Im on my 7th day. I slept all night with ambien. I woke up in the most severe pain ever. MY back is KILLING me! The pain is incredible. I can't think straight. I can't eat anything but rice. I eat vitamins and potassium. some energy drinks too.
Thanks for the encouragement, but it's getting harder.

[t_nuh_had_nuf]

To Tina 40 from KY- This is TEENA 45 from KY (on oh border) You are gonna be ok. Try hot soaks they are they only way I made it thru. I got on the done when I was 40-BAD move!
121 days clean. I know it sux but you can do it. Peace TEENA
Happy belated bday!

[tinabe40]

well, im wanting a pill right now so bad i can taste it. i feel like just one would at least make me think clearer. I don't know what i am going to do. I though at day 7 things would be better. I cant give up, but i feel like ****. Ive cried all day.

[atthebeach]

Hey tina.
Get out and walk around.change the scenery.7 days is awesome. Pills are not the answer.
They got you in the mess you are in now.listen to some music. Get yourself out of your head. Keep fighting hun. Few more days. Step by step.day by day.you are doing it.
Keep the faith. HE is faithful. Do you believe it? Well then claim it and stand on HIS promises.
Hugging you my friend
Debbie

[tinabe40]

thanks for the encouragement. I love hearing it. Im getting better with the physical stuff but those pills are calling my name. I think well could I take just one or two now instead of 9-10 and be ok. But my head tells me also that I'll so resent it. So for today...im fighting. I listen to music but the only true thing that helps is driving. However, Im tired so much that I lay down alot. But thanks to everyone for doing their best to help

[atthebeach]

tina hun you have to make yourself move around the faster you start exercising the faster your endrophins will kick back in. push yourself. keep telling yourself you can. stand up and do 20 jumping jacks right now.get that body moving. so drive to the grocery store, the mall and walk around

[gnarly_1]

I agree with at the beach you need to move around as much as possible also go to walmart and pick up whey proten shakes it will give your body the building blocks to heal your brain
lots of amino acids and vitamins along with the protein recovery is a slow process but each day you gain your one day closer it will come in time hang in there and try the exorcize
.........Gnarly  

[tinabe40]

well, im trying, but moving around is easier said than done when ur back feels like its breaking. Actually, I just want to sleep. Which I am getting ready to do in just a bit. I can walk some but not far...the pinched nerve in my back is not something that allows the right side of my body to feel good. I feel as if I have a screwdriver in my hip at times. I woke up crying my eyes out with back pain this morning. Ive been taking vits, potassium, gatorade, energy drinks, 800mg IB, and nothing is helping with pain or energy. Im trying....I'll keep trying.

[freshstart01]

U can do it. I'm on day 13, yesterday I had a meltdown. But today not so bad. I took 10 s too. Yes, I'm fighting the demons..... Have not caved! Nor will you. Do it for yourself and kids and family. That's my motivation

[tinabe40]

Thanks for the comments. I feel like crap and my back wont give up...