methoodone and benzos

I was on suboxone for a year now, I had been sober from heroin for almost 3 years until one day I took a trip to the dentist and it said in my file not to give me any narcotics and she did, well something in my brain popped and I was back to the races, I started with methodone next after hydrocodones and well found out I was pregnant lets just say things didn't go so good, I was in school and slowly but surely dropped out, had a good job and got fired. Any ways to make a long story short, this past year was the hardest after loosing the baby my man took a suboxone and ended up in jail because he was on drug court. well he told me he'd help me get off suboxone when he got out and he ended up getting me oxys, heroin, and methadone. So I don't know what happen, I did my last shot of dope on Sunday and then went to methodone for a few days. well I jump right to 13 pills on monday night, while tuesday and wednsday i didn't have any withdrawl (withdrawal) symptoms but was in alot of pain, so I took 2 last night. and so far nothing today. My question is will I get sick eventually or should i just keep skipping days and lowering the dosage to? Also I had been taken 1mg xanax 3 times a day one day I didn't have any so went through some withdrawl (withdrawal) with bad depression the next day so I probably couldve tapered myself from that to right, or do the same thing as the methadone, skip a day in between and wait as long as I can before taken any xanax? I really wanna get off all this **** and be sober again like I was last year because when your sober it seems like everything in your life is beautiful and nothing goes wrong, at least you can handle it better, being under the influence of this **** sometimes makes you think your superman and wanna beat everyone up because you feel miserable and smiles aren't genuine, has anyone went through this before if so please tell me what I can do cause I think it's possible that I  can get through this without any bad withdrawls.

[refusingbondage]

Hi and welcome.  Have you been to rehab?  Seems like you have had a really long and winding road... I would suggest finding an inpatient rehab for a little while.. You have jumped from heroine to subs to oxy to methadone and around again.. Are you taking the methadone through a clinic?? It seems like you cant really do this on your own.. A good medical facility where they can detox you and then rehab you would be so good for you.  Are you ready to quit?  Do you want it?  It seems like you do.  And I hope you do!  Rehab is not a cure all but it is a step in the right direction and they can help you with the w/drawal and keep you a bit more comfortable. Bottom line is methadone w/drawal is worse than heroine w/drawal.. Suboxone w/drawal is right up there too.. ANY w/drawal *****.. and what you are doing to try to avoid it seems dangerous!  You can be drug free again!  And you can have your life back... It wont be easy though.. If rehab isnt an option, then crawl into bed and detox at home- not with Methadone (in my opinion).  Just cold turkey it and get yourself to a meeting asap!  But really try for a rehab facility.. you may be able to get lots of info at your loccal NA meetings too.

[mr.lucky66]

I couldn't realyl tell how long you were on methadone and that's the key to getting off of it, how long, not dose predicts the degree of dificulty. I'm more scared of the xanax than the other stuff and if you take 3 mg. for too many months then that's a real problem. Where do you get these dugs?