my wife

[tony615]

Hello my name is Tony. Recently I found some pills in my wife's purse which they turned out to be xanax. so I kept a watch out for any other things. so I asked her why she had them so I took them away from her. That day she called from work said her friend wanted them but I did'nt gve them back but she stayed persistant about it she said she needed them to go to sleep. I said ok gave them back so I waited a couple of days until yesterday and I went through her purse again I found a pen that had been took apart and the inside was coated with a powder substance I approached her about it she tried to say her boss put it in there so I called her boss and asked her about it and she told me everything what my wife was doing so I had a long conversation with my wife and she told me that she could quit but now I know that her cousin is in with her everytime I would talk to her she would tell my my wife and her boss told me she told her that her cousin had her back. I went into her purse this morning and I found a pen put back together but with the powder substance in the pen she said it was from friday when I went through her purse yesterday htey were not in there I can I belive that she can quit . I f you have answers please help because I lost my father to drugs and now I don't want to lose my wife and my children ther mother

[Weenboy]

So you would just let odd behavior and a wife who avoids your probing questions go unchecked....then 10 years later you find you wasted your life coz she's divorcing you for the young  cool hipster who loves drugs and a good time. If someone is hiding a drug problem it's because they are embarrassed, depressed or someone different than who they say. So if there is odd behavior or clues then you are entitled to find out ...and besides I paid for that handbag and those pens are mine!!

[beachtowel]

Even if my mom or a girlfriend would tell me to grab somthing out of there purse I won't!

I'll bring them there purse and let them go into it.......

That is something I wont do...........period


Same as my wallet.......I have nothing to hide but nobody goes in my wallet...nobody!

[Givitup]

I am very new to this forum but I would like to say, my ex-husband got hooked on pills and went crazy with them.  When I discovered them through doctor bills I confronted him but he lied about everything because that is what addicts do.   I begged, cried screamed, snooped, threatened, etc.  I finally got myself to Alanon, got a sponsor.   I also do not believe it is heatlhy to continue looking for evidence.  I am also a strong believe that playing detective will make you insane and it is useless.  Unfortunately, my ex chose his path, we got divorced and today he sits in prision for multiple fraud charges.   I am not saying to give up my any means but there is really only so much you can do so please get help for yourself too.  

[addictedme]

no I didnt miss the point. I wanted to know if he suspected drug use before he went in her purse or did he find out by accident. I"m with you,,,I can go in my wifes purse or her my wallet anytime,,,

[road2recovery]

First, i really have never heard of snorting xanax, not saying it can't be done...I would be very upset if hubby were digging in my purse, but more upset if he called my boss....But she has a problem and i think that is the biggest issue here, and that she needs help..And she will and should forgive you when she realizes that you are trying to help her..
i hope this forum can help you..
i wish you luck
keep us posted
r2r

[flmagi]

I think we're missing the point here. He wasn't asking if purse snooping was a problem. I go into my husbands wallet and he goes into my purse. We have nothing to hide.
Problem is, she has a drug problem. Tony, you need to sit her down, tell her how much you love her, that you won't be angry if she's tells the truth, she shouldn't be ashamed, and that your willing to help her and do whats needed if and when she's ready to get clean. See if you can get her on to this forum.  Weither she chooses to get clean or not, you are in for a ruff ride.
What is she using? Obviously xanax, don't people snort Coke from pen casings? I'm not saying thats what shes doing... just a question.  Has her behavior been any different? Is she looking alittle ruff around the edges? Hope we can talk to her and maybe help.
Good luck.    Magi

[addictedme]

Same question as beachtowel,,did this start when you went thru your wifes purse or did you go thru her purse for a reason?

[PromisedLand]

I would NEVER go through my wife's purse.  Never.



Jim

[beachtowel]

Snorting xanax is pretty hard core..........wow

Tony what made you go through your wifes purse the first time.......

To me that would be breaking a trust a pretty sacred thing going into her personal purse.....
that would be like her going into yoru wallet.......

That is not a good thing..........

[dove3053]

Frankie,

I don't disagree with Tony. Tony never said why he was going thru his wife's purse. He just found pills. Can't put my finger on it, but men who go thru a womans purse our looking for "something". Don't you thin? Tony also never said he suspected his wife of anything until he found the xanax. I just want to know from Tony what prompted this illegal search and seizure.
If I need a detective I will call Tony. I would rather hear from his wife.

Dove

[frankie165]

Sorry Dove-I disagree.  Tony I agree with CATUF.  Your wife needs help. Try to talk to her.  If she will come clean with you and let you know what is really going on you may have a shot.  But pretending to not know that something is wrong will only make it worse.  You must have suspected a problem in the first place to go through her purse.  I am sure you didn't just wake up and decide to do that.  THere must have already been some suspicion.

[dove3053]

Tony, relax a little. Reading your post made me nervous, I can only imagine what you wife must feel like. Whatever she may or maynot be doing, I'm a firm believer in privacy. If you look hard enough at anyone you will find something you disagree with.

Dove

[CATUF]

I used to use pens to snort hydro -- at one time about every pen in my office was coated on the inside.

If you want to save your wife, get her in rehab.  Snorting meds is indicative of advanced addiction.  It's a sign that the addict's brain is demanding what it needs NOW.  

Your wife is a sick woman.  She needs medical help.  

[oxygirl487]

do u think she is snorting the xanax?or do u think she is doing pain pills of some sort?i personally hae never known anyone that snorted xanax i used to do oxcycontin...im sure other people on here have some good advice for u but i was just curious...thanks   im here for u though if that helps any

[lorcetloner]

hey hon. addiction can play hell on a marriage..... I do not know your wife so I can obly speak from my own experience....but my husband knew to an extent about my pills, Lorcet, Xanax, Soma.... really whatever made me feel better at the time... But he had no clue how many... how long... how often... where they came from.... where I got the money...etc..... I told him what he wanted to hear....whatever made him feel better... and I was good at it.... I could come up with **** to cover up stories that I had already told.... So please beware.... if she is using, and hiding it from you.. then there more than likely is a problem...
I would really sit down with her... but let her know that you just want to help.... nagging her will probably just push her to numb the pain of feeling guilty for hurting you.... just my 2 cents.... keep posting.... hang in there....

[allaboutmary]

So sorry about your situation.  I believe, you can not go cold turkey with xanax. Is she getting these from her doctor ?   The biggest problem is that she has to want to get clean or you really can't help her.  Ask her to come on this forum.  She will find support here and realize she is not alone.  I am not sure I understand the powder substance , is she using something else ?  Stay with this forum, others should respond soon.