need help dealing with son

I need some advice,  my 22 year old son is addicted to painkillers.  He went to a doctor several months ago who put him on a suboxen program.  It hasnt worked and he is back to using again .  We found out because he stole money from my checking account .   we went to a detox center but they told him since he didnt seem to be having withdrawal symptoms that he didnt need to be detoxed ( he hadnt used in over 5 days before we went)  they told him to begin attending na meetings.  we just dont know what to do for him.  we are afraid to have him in our home wondering what he will steal to get more of the pills.  he has type 1 diabetes and this has been the only reason we havent booted hm out out the house .  he has no job but is in school and doing ok in school.  please advise as to what we should do to try to help him.

[danatcathays]

i have no advise, as I am just stopping painkillers, i am sure other will be advising you soon - i just wish you well.

[chopper841]

get him in front of a doctor if you can, but from what I have read in helping with my addiction to opiates the first step is getting him to admit he has a problem. How you do that I think is a very delicate process.  The sub for some people was a life saver and If I remember correctly for some it helped them quit the dangerous addictive behavior.  Do you know how many pills he was taking and what??? Keep reading you will get help here it's amazing!!

[CATUF]

Your best source of help will be found at Al-Anon.  Just Google that word and you'll find links to meetings in your area.  In Al-Anon, you'll find years of experience in dealing with the addition of a loved one.

CATUF
1553

[Jules1866]

I am NOT a doctor by any means but I will share my experience with you. My brother in law had extensive knee surgery and they gave him vics, after a while the vics were not strong enough and he went to oxys and then after a whild the doctor cut him off of the oxys so he went to herion off the streets. My husband called a family meeting and wanted to have my brother in law drug tested weekly with house rules since he was still dependent on his parents. The famil refused our suggestions, the drug use became worse with my brother in law just living in the attack shooting up drugs, my husband wanted to have him arrested and the family refused and said it would kill him, a few more weeks went by and I received the phone call at work the my brother in law's heart stopped and could not be revived!! We buried my brother in law 3 years ago.

My recommendation is drug testing every week, house rules for your son like curfews, chores, limited friends that can be trusted, weekly meetings and anything else you think could harm your son, you only get one chance, there are no do-overs, I watch my mother in law cry every day for her son. Hope this helps you.

[IBKleen]

Hi & Welcome,

I am sorry to hear you are going through this.

I totally agree to get to Al-Anon, for YOU, not for him. there you will find people just like yourself who can share their experiences with you and help you through this difficult time.

If you have insurance I would recommend in-patient treatment. It is not just for the physical withdrawal but will help him with the mental part of this disease. There they will help him get to the core issues as well as re-train him in recreational and occupational therapy, for starters.

You cannot save someone who doesn't want to be saved. At some point, if he does not get help, you will need to make a very difficult decision.

I hope some of what was mentioned here today helps you and your family.

[rdjc]

Thank you so much for the advice and encouragement.  It means more than you will ever know.  I will get to an Al anon meeting right away and will post more when i know more about how much he has been taking.  blessings to all of you .  

[NorcoQueenoftheUniverse]

Gosh.. TOUGH LOVE is SUCH a TOUGH THING but sometimes ya just gotta do it...
the lying, the stealing, the cheating.. all adds up to NOWHERE!  

I agree with the recommendation of Alanon for you... they can give you some tools to help you deal with this horrible situation..

I have a son that I adore and would just FALL APART if I knew he had turned out like his mother... (although "his mother" has been CLEAN for 36 days.. Yipee!)  

Long term treatment may be your best answer  for your son... there are MANY places out there that offer this and this may be a good option.. it's just the getting him there that's the hard part.. Intervention may be the answer.. or... HOG TYING HIM.. It will save his life.. and YOURS....Oh how my heart goes out to you!

Hang in there and GOD BLESS YOU now and forever in this journey.. Be strong and be sure and keep in touch as we ALL CARE

[mom666]

my daudhter is 21 my son 22 they both are finally in rehab my sons is jail rehab my daughter finally saw the light but not before the police were involved but my advice to u is keep fighting 4 them theit=r worth it it took me along time to get them their  i had to fight with them and the courts to get my son some help they dont care about a drug problem they want to throw them in jail and  then deal with the other a latter date keep fighting  it took my daughter and i going to the detox center every day before they finally ket her in call your mental health and your mp  thats what i did and i wouldn, take no 4 ananswer