need help for daughter PLEASE!!!!

[debbie6122]

Hello, I just found out last week that my daughter who is 35, is shooting morphine, i live 7 hours away, and with going thru chemo for breast cancer and just getting over the swine flu i havnt been able to get to her, but our ;phone conversations are so stressful, her whole personality has changed, her voice even sounds different, she has been screaming and raging on the phone, one minute she is begging for me to come there and the next she is saying if me or her dad come she will put a bullet in our foreheads, she has 2 children i is 17 who has been staying at a friends just to be away from her, and the other is 11, im not only worried about my dauhgter but my grandchildren, her husband is in the military and cant get away yet she was keeping in contact with him thru skype, found out today she hocked her computer for money to buy more drugs, she told us she could get off the drugs on her own but would use zanex to get off of it, i thought she was telling the truth but found out she has been buying rocette?? if she cant find morphine, i have called all kinds of places and they arnt any help, it seems that they wont except her insurance, but if she was on welfare they would except that state insureance, which makes no sense to me, how do people get help if you cant find a facility to take her? i have been crying and my frame of mind is not so good right now becasue my heart is breaking for her, i dont know what to do, how do i confornt her with out her getting angry? I feel like i have to walk on eggshells so i dont get her all crazy, she threatens to kill herself, im afraid she will if i dont find help for her, i know tough love wont work on her and i cant just walk away some one please, please help me.
debbie

[googzy]

opiate abuse, especially during withdrawing... and when you're addicted you're in a constant state of withdrawal... it can make you mean, cranky, mood swings...

I would suggest asking her if she wants to quit, can you put her in a bedroom with all the amenities, water, vitamins, movies tv/shows to watch and if she really wants to quit... she'll shackle up and withdraw... that is if he she doesn't have the willpower to cold turkey

I feel for your situation because I've been a real punk to my mom, who doesn't know what I'm going through.... it's like cabin fever x10... I wish I could tell her and have her lock my door on my room and tie me up to the bed and let me ride it out... j/k

Does she want to quit? Cuz honestly, she's not going to until she wants to.

[Holliee]

HELLO I JUST READ THIS AN I FEEL SO BAD U I AM GOING TO SEND YOU A PRIVATE message in morning check your inbox on here  its on top right hand corner page.

[TrayCee]

wow, so sorry for your situation.  Sorry to say theres not much you can do to help her.  When she REALLY wants to quit.... she will.  You CANT do it for her.  This is HER problem!!    What you can do is support her when she does want to quit.  It sound like you need to take care of yourself.  You wont be any good to her if youre not healthy.  When/if she comes to here senses the guilt is going be overwhelming for what shes put you through.

[SophieShine]

I'm very sorry for what you have to go thru... As said above, you can't help her right now, you can only tell her you'll be there for her when she is ready to stop.
I'm very worried about her kids tho, they're so young and they sure didn't deserve this. I can hardly imagine what they're going thru... Please take care of them, they need all the help they can get.
Best of luck to you. sophie.

[gnarly_1]

hi and welcome to the forum...you came to a good place for help and support
I can totally relate to your situation ...my daughter turned into a crack/methanfedamine
addict at the age of bearly 13 and we went thew shear he11 till she was involved
in an auto accededent at the age of 16...I use to chase her from crack house to crack house for days sometime...it was particularly tuff when she would choose to live on the street ..so my heart goes out to you and your family addiction effects the whole family
and you should probably check into alonon it helps for those that are family members
my heart also goes out to your daughter..im a recovering methadone addict...I did the pain pill thing for 10+yr and then the methadone for 6 1/2 yrs im 23days clean today
but I know just how hard it is to get free of opiates it was one of the most difficult things I ever had to do....with this said...if I where you id try to work my way into
getting your daughter to trust you again....may be ezer said then done...how ever
if you can offer to come take care of the kids for a week or 2 with the pretenses that
you will stay with her so she can get clean...prepare yourself for a few ugly days
detoxing is not nothing for the faint of heart...but it is necessary to get free of the drugs....I would think your daughter knows she has a problem..and might be open
to a solution ...she will need all the help you can provide as well as after care such as n/a meetings ...this forum has been huge for my recovery so if you can
some how get her here it would help greatly...mabe a new computer off craigs list
you can find them for 75 to 100 bucks...my last advise is to turn to god..when we cant help he can...god also played an amazing part in my recovery..prayer works
it help me thew the withdrawals....it also helps to pray that god change a heart
pray for your daughter..that she will receive you back into her life and know she needs help...she has to want to get help..you cant do that part for her...I would think
by what you describe she is at rock bottom..sometimes you got to be there b/4 you will seek help...I wish I could do more then just give you hope...my daughter grew
out of it and is now 20yr old and sober ..it took time but time does change things
dont give up hope....pray with all your heart...it works...and keep posting there
are lots of people here that are very caring and will try to walk this thing out with you
im one of them....good luck and god bless...ill pray for your family...Gnarly  

[sway1]

i tried to put myself away somewhere not too long ago such as detox or rehab. they would've taken me if i was a suicidal alcohlic. i am not one. i don't understand that at all. it was the insurance. i have good insurance, but where i live that's just the way it is. so, i get clean, then i mess up. then i repeat the process. this has been going on for so long it has become ridiculous. deep down i want to be clean, but the 800 pound gorilla on my back can be very insistant. my heart goes out to you. i use needles when i get bad. i know better, but knowledge just doesn't always win out. the suggestion of sequestering her is a very good idea, but it sounds like you may not be up to the task right now. this thing is one tough son of a ^&%$*!

[debbie6122]

Hi every one i wanted to thank you all for taking the time to respond to me and so quickly, my heart also goes out to each and every one of you who are dealing with this too for what ever reasons, you have helped me understand a little more, i also realize this is not going to be an easy road for her, im just glad she told me about it so i can help or be there for her, GOOZY- god bless you and i hope you will find the strength to tell your mom, i dont know you so dont know the situation with your mom but maybe she will surprize you and be your rock to lean on(smiles) thank you everone again and im sorry for the pain you are all dealing with too.
debbie

[Beccabeccalynn]

Sometimes when the authorities get involved as they eventually may they pay for treatment for those with kids. I echo what everyone else said and double on the alanon that is where you get comfort and TOOLS for what to do. I don't know you but can feel your love. Best wishes
becca