need help! please - depressed and confused

[dhronly]

Here is my situation. I have ad spinal stenosis since 2005. I also developed COPD in 2005. To top it all off i also had a heart attack in 2005.Since then I have been forced to leave work and go on disability. The problem is that since 2005 I have been on very strong pain killers,oxycodone10mgx3,oxycontin 30mgx3 , , on top of effexor and Ritalin, oxygen and Valium (I seem to go into extreme depression around 4 to 5 every night). I tried seeing a counselor , didn't help at all, my psychiatrist just fills prescriptions. The pain doctors here in Arizona are a nightmare, you do 1 thing wrong like having to take an extra pill 1 night during the month because the pain is horrific they threaten to send you to a concentration camp and they all act as though you are a drug addict seeking pills. I really want to get off of the pain killers but i am scared to death of the pain that will return, even with the pain killers my pain level is at best 5 out of 10.seriously if i wasn't raised strictly catholic i may commit suicide(but i never could). there is so much more but i cant take up that much space here. Has anyone gotten off the pain killers and somehow learned to live with the pain? I seriously want off the crap

[gnarly_1]

Hi and welcome to the forum....as you can see your pain meds are loosing effectiveness and will continue to....they actually start to create the pain to get the reward of the endorphins  this is a viscous cycle that I know all to well  I was on huge amounts and it only helped for a hour or 2 with a 6hr dose.....just know this you can get off them  I still live in pain but a lot less now that I have been off the pills so has a lot of our members  if you want to take your life back we can help you can do a slow taper or just jump ship  ether way you will experience withdrawal but once over you will recover keep posting for support...Gnarly

[Krissy_123]

Awe,I know exactly how you feel!! With the deppression and suicidal thoughts I mean. I also live with daily pain....yes it can be done. Start researching every other pain reliever ideas you can think of. Your docs have no ideas,then go get a second opinion then a third or a fourth. Tons and tons of people on hear also live with chronic pain and got off the meds. You're on a lot,I can see why you have deppression. First off they will cause it,then you feel stuck because they own you! You can't make plans to go holidaying or anything because "what if I'm not back in time to get my script" oh I remember them days. Counting pills making sure you'll make it to you're next script. Then there is your horrible pain. So yes,you will feel some deppression,of course. You're only a human!! Baby steps,and this can be done. First start getting other pain relief options. People on here may even have some ideas. Second I really think you should check out maybe a narcotics anonymous meeting. Right now I bet you feel so alone,and you're the only one going through this! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! There are millions of us out here going through similar to what you are. You don't even have to talk at a meeting if you don't want too. Just listen to other peoples stories,no you aren't alone. It's quite late,but others will be on soon. Please don't go away,keep posting. It's a start,and it will help you!! Xoxo Krissy!! <3