need some advice??

[soaddicted]

soo for those who havent read any of my post i been on opiates for 5 years and am at the end of my rope with them and want to live a normal SOBER life.. but doing that ct is to hard for me, because of my job and taking care of kids. i have tried more then a few times and i get so sick even after about 11 hours with no pills. i have read alot of post who do not recommend methadone or even suboxene. but i have no other choice but to get some kind of help with this. i found 2 clinics in my area who are really affordable. i will only really be able to do the methadone clinic because i can not afford suboxene. i know people think well if you can afford those pills you can afford anything, but that is not the case thats why i am where i am now because i can no longer afford the pills. also no one knows about my addiction which is killing me. so i just want to know what yall think about me doing the methadone clinic.. i already did the phone interview and i qualify, my appointment is tuesday at 6 am.. so please give me some thoughts and advice????

[soaddicted]

your right after 5 years i think some may have an idea. actually little things have came up before and i have been asked if i was on drugs but i dont think they know what im on and how bad it really is. im so humiliated to tell anyone. ugh.... i think the worst part is the mental part of getting through the wds. i have went 4 days before and tried telling myself i have the flu but i swear my mind would not let me do it. i hate this i just wish i could snap my fingers and be over this. i dont even take pills to get high anymore i take them so i dont get sick. and you would think after as long as i have been on them my tolerance would be high but i can still take 1 5mg vicoden and get high from it. so i dont take 3 and 4 at a time.. im not saying im not an addict cause i am for sure. thank you so much for talking with me its really helping me being here..

[throwindatowl]

Do you have someone you can tell. After fives years of using Im sure people know something already It is lonely dealing with this issue. If you think about it the long run is the most important thing to think about. I know if you can taper off opiates all youd need is a weekend and your strong enough to make it through the end of wds. Its a very scary thing your done with it. Alot of people cant taper but if you cant do that quitings gonna be really hard. The wds are just so much less if you can just your dosage down. Thats what they will do at the methadone clinic. How ever you quit, Im glad you are.

[soaddicted]

Thank you vantart, ImDONENoMore and throwindatowel for your words of wisdom. I'm so stuck on what to do. The tramadol makes me have horrible wds. I guess I thought it would be ok cause I would be under drs care I wasn't thinking of the long run. No one knows I'm an addict of 5 years I'm so lonely :(

[throwindatowl]

Glad to hear you want out. Little worried youll be getting in deeper. Whats your plans to get off methadone? I seen people here suffer for weeks and weeks trying to get off methadone. I would think lonnng and hard before you go that route. My suggestion would be to taper off the opiates. Ive done it and the wds were not bad at all. they lasted 2 or 3 days. Read all the posts here you can when it comes to methadone. 4 years ago someone gave some to me and I mixed them with xanax and almost lost my life. If you do go that route do not abuse them or mix them OK!

[vantart]

I've been struggling to get off methadone for quite a while. A little background on it:
The original formula was concocted by Hitler's doctors to keep the injured troops on the battlefield. So you see, that stuff comes right out of the gates of hell. It is the absolute worst withdrawal you can imagine. Last forever too. It makes you feel like you're loosing your flipping mind.You shake, sweat, have cold chills, can't eat, can't sleep. Your energy level feels like some one unplugged you from life support. Not to mention the other symptoms that are a little more  personal.All the while your brain is screaming out for the stuff so you are very anxious. I went from the bed to the bathroom only for the first 3 days. it was 12 days before I could say I was starting to feel just a tad better. want more? I'm not exagerating. Ask anyone else who's been thru it.
I would not wish that on anyone (well maybe Hitler if he were still around) Day 28 -4 me

[soaddicted]

Well guess I'm back to square one. After reading your post gnarly_1 I don't want that. But I'm desperate here I can't go ct because my job is to physical. I felt so happy and a sense of peace after getting off the phone with the methadone clinic cause I felt like I was getting somewhere. I think I thought it was ok cause I would be under drs care and actually get some counseling. I don't know what to do. I have let these pills ruin me I can't believe myself!

[ImDONENoMore]

Please don't do it soaddicted.  Please.

[soaddicted]

there are 2 clinics one actually has help for people who cant afford it and the other cost 12 a day.. where do you live??? thanks everyone for your post im heading to work and will comment when i get the chance.. have a blessed day

[gnarly_1]

HI .......I was on methadone for pain management for 6 1/2 yrs after being on it I could never recommend it to anyone going from pill into methadone will be like jumping from the frying pan into the firer  methadone was intended for the most chronic abusers with I/V drug habits
they will be happy at the clinic to take your money and put you into the liquid hadcuffs
it a p.i.t.a. having to go to the clinic every day to get your dose and thats for at least 6 mo
the bigest thing is the side effect you will nod off at the most inappropriate times your sex life will come to a stop you will put 40lb on and you will be uder a sorta fog that you wont relize till you try and get off....thats where the real screw is getting off you have to slow taper for months and you will go in and out of withdrawals therw out your taper then your dope sick for 2 weeks from the final withdrawal itself...then you get hit with a debilitating energy crash that last for months it was 90 days b/4 I even started to feel better methadone withdrawals and post withdrawals are by far the worst you will experience and methadone is no way to go threw life I hope this is enough to discourage you from even thinking this is a way out ther is no get out of jail free card especially methadone please think long and hard b/4 you put on the liquid handcuffs.........Gnarly    

[helpless1979]

where did u go?

[dominosarah]

Methadone and Sub come with their own set of problems.  They are both a powerful narcotic and wd's are usually really rough.

[helpless1979]

funny, im in the same exact place as you. Work with little kids and cant afford the help or the pills! Just curious what were the prices for the methadone and suboxine?