Welcome.
And it's great that you want off. I do think, though, that you will need the support of your Dr. to do this. I am a bit concerned that you're taking methadone and a benzo at the same time. I know you don't want to hear this, but that's pretty dangerous. But it's good that you want to quit.
Check in with your Dr. and get on a good tapering schedule for both meds. Methadone, from what I've read, must be tapered, and a benzo should always be tapered.
Is there anyone at home who can help you with a taper?
I just wanted to offer support and bump this up to the top hoping you get some good answers.
Is there any way you can get into a rehab or some time of methadone program because you are unable to taper yourself?
I have read that both methadone and ativan HAVE to be tapered or you will go thru hell with the meth.
I wish you all the best and hope someone with experience will post soon.