Aa
new me new post
Well, my other thing was running way long, plus i have a brand new attitude! I fought through this horrible day, and then realized i have i think 2 weeks clean today! And then I read through my whole other thread and all of this led ti me believing i can do this, i can make it, and i need better aftercare this time! so im going ti go to na, my therapist, church, here, and het me a sponsor!
Debbie
You are so amazing and awesome!!! You have helped and supported me for so long now! I don't know if you realize how much this means to me! I really feel like I have someone in my corner with you. And you completely read my mind lol! At the same time you posted this, I posted a new thread, called aftercare help...and at the same time you were here on this thread already answering my questions lol! So, as usual you said exactly what I needed to hear right when I needed it! Heck before I even asked my questions or came to certain conclusions you completely read my mind and I can't even believe the words I'm reading here, because they are pretty much my exact thoughts right now, and I'm pretty sure you posted my thoughts here at the same time I posted them on a new thread!!! Pretty amazing huh!!!???
First I would like to thank you, for all of your prayers, love, support and encouragement through all this time! I feel it all the way where I am. I know that you have been praying for me, and God has basically sent us the same answer! That's why our comments at the same time are so similar. I have decided to keep going keep trying stay clean and having healing and deliverance and I know these chains and bondage of addiction can and will be broken and I will finally have my freedom my family and my self back!!!
And my new thread I had made was basically asking how I could get there. And I had finally realized a few things that you noticed just from talking with me here, and through God, that's the only way. I had just realized that I have to relieve stress somehow...I realized that stress might be one of the main causes of my opiate and benzo use. And that some of the main sources of my stress are me trying to live up to everyone's expectations of me to be superwoman, including my parents, BUT everyone is used to that me, only because I made myself out to be that for so many years, and just like I have to realize, I'm just human and will have to work on my energy and try to get it back to normal and I guess its not going to happen overnight or even months, but I will just have to get used to it and so will everyone else. that and I have absolutely no time for me and I need to make some asap!!!
And I had decided to make my health, recovery, and my family my priorities right now. And to get back into church and therapy and start working out and always keep my family, my children first. And I'm going to try some NA meetings this time. That's going to be a hard one as far as times and places and that i always have my children with me, my oldest is in school, but my youngest is 4 and out of daycare right now, so that's a 24/7 thing, and i really don't want to take my children to meetings, but i know its important to go and connect face to face with recovering addicts and I have to make my recovery a priority so I am going to figure it out!
Thank you so much for always being there for me, with all your support encouragement love and prayers...we definitely have a great connection and I can't wait to build up my clean time with your support so that I can help other people like you have helped me and so many others!!! You are such an inspiration and I'm glad to also call you a friend! Your awesome and I'm so happy for you being in my life, if only on the computer, i feel it, all the way where I'm at! Thanks:-)))
You are so amazing and awesome!!! You have helped and supported me for so long now! I don't know if you realize how much this means to me! I really feel like I have someone in my corner with you. And you completely read my mind lol! At the same time you posted this, I posted a new thread, called aftercare help...and at the same time you were here on this thread already answering my questions lol! So, as usual you said exactly what I needed to hear right when I needed it! Heck before I even asked my questions or came to certain conclusions you completely read my mind and I can't even believe the words I'm reading here, because they are pretty much my exact thoughts right now, and I'm pretty sure you posted my thoughts here at the same time I posted them on a new thread!!! Pretty amazing huh!!!???
First I would like to thank you, for all of your prayers, love, support and encouragement through all this time! I feel it all the way where I am. I know that you have been praying for me, and God has basically sent us the same answer! That's why our comments at the same time are so similar. I have decided to keep going keep trying stay clean and having healing and deliverance and I know these chains and bondage of addiction can and will be broken and I will finally have my freedom my family and my self back!!!
And my new thread I had made was basically asking how I could get there. And I had finally realized a few things that you noticed just from talking with me here, and through God, that's the only way. I had just realized that I have to relieve stress somehow...I realized that stress might be one of the main causes of my opiate and benzo use. And that some of the main sources of my stress are me trying to live up to everyone's expectations of me to be superwoman, including my parents, BUT everyone is used to that me, only because I made myself out to be that for so many years, and just like I have to realize, I'm just human and will have to work on my energy and try to get it back to normal and I guess its not going to happen overnight or even months, but I will just have to get used to it and so will everyone else. that and I have absolutely no time for me and I need to make some asap!!!
And I had decided to make my health, recovery, and my family my priorities right now. And to get back into church and therapy and start working out and always keep my family, my children first. And I'm going to try some NA meetings this time. That's going to be a hard one as far as times and places and that i always have my children with me, my oldest is in school, but my youngest is 4 and out of daycare right now, so that's a 24/7 thing, and i really don't want to take my children to meetings, but i know its important to go and connect face to face with recovering addicts and I have to make my recovery a priority so I am going to figure it out!
Thank you so much for always being there for me, with all your support encouragement love and prayers...we definitely have a great connection and I can't wait to build up my clean time with your support so that I can help other people like you have helped me and so many others!!! You are such an inspiration and I'm glad to also call you a friend! Your awesome and I'm so happy for you being in my life, if only on the computer, i feel it, all the way where I'm at! Thanks:-)))
Good morning. I am sorry to hear that you lost your child care and subsequently your job. I hope and pray there is a quick remedy.
Have you talked to your parents about their expectations for you?
The stress needs to come way down and you need to make the time for you
This is so important.
Please make church, meetings, working out, time spend with just you and the children priority.
Hun you are in a tough spot right now. Please consciously make good choices everyday that will help important your life and your children's.
There is healing, there is deliverance, there is freedom from the chains and bondage of this addiction. Allow yourself the time you need to be restored.
Continued love, prayers, encouragment and support,
Debbie
Have you talked to your parents about their expectations for you?
The stress needs to come way down and you need to make the time for you
This is so important.
Please make church, meetings, working out, time spend with just you and the children priority.
Hun you are in a tough spot right now. Please consciously make good choices everyday that will help important your life and your children's.
There is healing, there is deliverance, there is freedom from the chains and bondage of this addiction. Allow yourself the time you need to be restored.
Continued love, prayers, encouragment and support,
Debbie
Hey girl, it sounds like you are starting to get a grip on all of this. I'm so glad to hear that you are gonna move on, and continue forward. Finding a meeting is great, and will help a lot. Stress is such a killer of everything. It is so difficult for me not to let stress of everything overwhelm me. It's something I still haven't been able to master. I need to find some good coping skills. But, enough about me. Take care, keep your head above water, and Definately keep posting and reaching out for support. Work through things one step at a time. Take it easy.
Hey guys thanks! I don't know why I didn't come here first, and my sources have been cut, I made the decision to go find something, wasn't even my doc, but it was an opiate. I just took one and I plan on getting back on the bike and continuing! I'm not going to let this be a full blown relapse! I am going to have to find an na class. I was so stressed out and I have real pain with my endometriosis and fibroids and just having my tooth pulled. And I'm a single mom and I live with my parents, and my mom takes tons of pills and they think I should be able to do 500 things a day, and I think that's my biggest stresser! But I'm ready to get off this merry go round and stop pills for good!!!
oh and Vic, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss! There is a book and movie called the secret, its all about positive thinking attracting positive to your life!
oh and Vic, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss! There is a book and movie called the secret, its all about positive thinking attracting positive to your life!
Nothing at all is wrong..Just take the Bad and change some things to go forward in the right direction..Many of us on here have taken that one more pill over & over for years until we came to our wits in..Ha!! Do not be hard on your self..Get back up on that bicycle and ride again. If you fall get back up until you finally get it right..You will..I can feel it from here..lol
Bless
PS I would like some more info about that Positive thinking issue or like the video I watched..PM me if you know of some more tapes..Thanks
I really need all the help I can get right now because I just lost my Dad and my Mom was told she has not much time left..All do to Cancer. I am holding on alright for now. Bless
Bless
PS I would like some more info about that Positive thinking issue or like the video I watched..PM me if you know of some more tapes..Thanks
I really need all the help I can get right now because I just lost my Dad and my Mom was told she has not much time left..All do to Cancer. I am holding on alright for now. Bless
Hi, so good grief! All of this happened in 2 days? Your last update was great. Everything was going so well, and then bam! That is crazy! I'm sorry. How did you get your one pill? This is why cutting sources is so critical. When things start going down the crapper, you can't easily get ahold of your drug. I wish you would have come here first so we could have tried to help and support you. The next time crap starts happening please reach out and get support before you use. So now the question is what's next? Do you have any ideas on how you are going to handle all of this? Are you ready to quit again? I'm sure you are feeling overwhelmed right now. Please let us know your plan so we can support you. Again, I'm so sorry. Take some deep breaths. Take care of yourself. You will get through this.
Well, I messed up again. I went to my psychiatrist yesterday and he cut my klonopin in half again. I tried and tried arguing and asking him questions and telling him things I've heard, but he insisted this was just the new law and that he hates it and doesn't feel comfortable dropping people so quickly, but claims he is forced because of this law that nobody else seems to have even heard about. So I'm now down to 1 mg a day from 3 mg! And I had just still been feeling horrible, bathroom issues and no energy and hurting and yada yada...and I lost my daycare assistance so I lost my brand new job. And I could go on and on about what a bad day it was. And give you every reason/excuse in the book. But the bottom line is I used. And now I feel stupid, like I wasted all that suffering and clean time for one pill??? What is wrong wit me?//??
I'm good today actually. Cleaned some then took the kids to a Christmas parade, did lots of walking!!! And then went to a friends house and hung out. And now just got home, and got all cuddled up with my youngest, watching Charlotte web. A nice good day! Getting better every day!
This insanely long thread made me smile! It's not a good thing, but it's so strange how we all are experiencing the same emotions. It's so hard to juggle being a mom and working full time as it is, then throw in coming off the pills and it's like quadrupled! It's so mentally consuming. I saw you said your mom takes more than you-and she lives with you???? I can't believe your strength. I would take them from my mom when I lived with her almost daily. Way to go!!!!! You're doing amazing. I'm jealous of your pizza night with the kids-and want pizza now too lol
Yes no surprise! And no Epsom baths either, I have the kids and that's just not happening today lol! But, I'm still just trying to stay positive, take it one day, one hour at a time...it will be bedtime soon hopefully and hopefully we all sleep well tonight! Then I think I'm going to get up early, get me and my kids ready and get back into church!
Hi Tigerlily, well, after the BIG day you had yesterday, it should come as no surprise you would be tired and hurting. Sounds like a great time for an Epsom Salt bath! Perhaps a cup of relaxing tea?
Yes, you are Definately on the roller coaster. The best thing you can do is buckle up and hold on tight. You are doing great! Have a good evening. Hope you can relax and get some good sleep.
Yes, you are Definately on the roller coaster. The best thing you can do is buckle up and hold on tight. You are doing great! Have a good evening. Hope you can relax and get some good sleep.
Thanks all of you! Yesterday was a good day with lots of energy, I even ended up letting 2 other kids sleep over after the fabulous thanksgiving celebration! But, it seems like I have one good day then a bad day and just keep cycling! Today wasn't awful, but I was just tired and hurting and trying to entertain a bunch of kids and whew its just the dang rollercoaster!
So it sounds like you've got a great appetite lol. You're making me hungry just reading your thread.
You sound so much better, Keep up the great attitude.
You've got this.
You sound so much better, Keep up the great attitude.
You've got this.
TL you are doing so wonderful! Its awesome watching your journey! BUCKETLIST made me cry like you wouldn't believe! And laugh! And cry! It was a FANTASTIC movie! @ Sara how did it go? I was praying for you!
Wow Tigerlily! You sound awesome! I'm so glad you are feeling well and my goodness you certainly got a lot accomplished today! I can't even do all of that on a good day! LOL! You sound so confident! You got this girl, now continue moving forward. Each day should get a bit better. Keep the updates coming. It's a joy to read them! Hugs to you!
PS, I could use some of your energy!
PS, I could use some of your energy!
Sorry, my phone keeps sending the post before I'm done!!! Crazy phone!!! Anyway, I'll try to finish up, got lots of good things at the grocery, some vitamins and protein drinks and bars and b vitamins and plenty of good healthy food for me and the kids! And picked up a pecan pie and everything to make some of my delicious thanksgiving food, and went home, put up groceries, cleaned house some, and then came to my really great awesome friends house, and me and her basically made the whole thanksgiving dinner favorites and chowed down and now we just ate, and hanging out and feeling quite fabulous, except for a little pain and really tired lol! And I promised to help clean up after, whew, but had such a great fabulous day its all been worth it! I hope everyone had great holidays and found some joy and blessings and many things to be thankful for! You guys rock!!!!
Ok, my post keeps getting messed up, but anyway I'm trying to say today was a great day! I woke up, feeling pretty good and got a nice hot shower and got all dressed up, went and did actual grocery shopping, not just slinking in getting exactly what I needed for the day, and hurrying up and getting out of there and hurrying home as quickly as possible, not even getting what all I need...but today I did like 2 hours and $300 worth of grocery shopping, getting everything we needed and had ran out of and everything!
And while there, I got some new vitamins, so
And while there, I got some new vitamins, so
Ok well I made it through today. One day at a time. Hope everyone had a wonderful thanksgiving!
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