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avis
I've been chewing the stuff, every day, for more than 15 years. I've been told I have jaw muscles of which even **** Tracy would be envious. They look like they've been pumped up with steroids. If every chew was the equivalent of a tiny foot step, I'd probably have been able to cirumnavigate the globe several times. If I could have figured out a way to convert that chewing power into electrical power, I could have powered all the electrical appliances in my house.
Do you know something? I would often even fall asleep chewing, and then wake up still chewing. Geezus, I could have been powering enough energy to run an electric blanket in the winter months.
Hey, in Australia there is a huge big yacht that races in the Sydney to Hobart actually called "Nicorette". Well, I think I must have just about paid for half the bloody thing. It seems my constant chewing has unwittingly been converted to even sail power!
But now, I'm trying to give it up. I'm on day 3 at the moment, and it's damned hard. I keep reaching over subconsiously for a gum - or patting my pockets down to see if I've got a pack somewhere. But then I have to remind myself: "Hey! That's right! I don't do that anymore!"
It's a hell of an addiction - and the company that sells these nicorettes damned well knows it. They're out to recruit more and more addicts like me - and all under the guise of supposedly helping people improve their lives by quitting smoking. Well, I quite smoking, but I took up paying those mongrel nico dealers an absolute fortune, year in, year out.
Now I don't have any vices left in my life, I'm not sure what I should do with myself. After a meal, I would customarily pop a gum into my mouth. But now what? Masturbation? That seems to be all that's left: "Oh dear, I feel like relaxing with a nice cuppa tea, followed by a little wank?" Oh well, I suppose it'd be worth a try. I guess I just have to learn how to redirect the jaw action into wrist action, instead. At least it won't be costing me anything.
Anyhow, must be off....duty calls......
The "ex-chewer climbing out of the sewer"....