no more pills... withdrawals

Question

Ive taken pain pills for a few years now... I was never truly addicted to them-- like, physically & mentally addicted-- until a few years ago. I went thru Methadone detox, and stopped taking pills for a while..... I had a car wreck, got injured pretty bad & got back on the pain pills. Ive been through the severe withdrawals-- shaking uncontrollably, throwing up nonstop, diarhea, aching all over my entire body, no energy at all, crying like a baby, sweating even though Im freezing cold, ETC... Ive gone through it more times than I would like....  & last time I swore to myself that Id never put myself through it again...

But....  10 months ago I started having severe pain again(a 2nd injury to my already injured back), & felt I didnt have any choice other than going back on them.(Ibuprofen800 & Soma just wasnt touching my pain AT ALL) I ran out of hydrocodone a few weeks ago, and to avoid the w/d, I got some from another source, enough  that got me through the weekend/beginning of this week, but yesterday I had nothing left to take, so  here I am, yet again, having w/ds & feeling like HELL. Its worse this time than before.... Ive taken immodium, ibuprofen800, & multi-vitamins, but Im still so miserable that I feel like I'm gonna lose it.... I know in a few days I'll feel better (I hope) but right now, that doesnt help much.... I cant pause my life, just to get through this.... I have a job & Im a single mom, & I have responsibilities. I dont have any choice BUT to try & deal with it, & get through it.  Its so easy to say, but so hard to do. As I go thru these withdrawals, part of my mind is still trying to think of somewhere else to get some more pills, to get me through until I can see a doctor. I am going to try to get into pain managment or  see if theres anything anyone can do to fix my problems, so I wont need the pain meds... 

Noone in my life knows just how bad this has gotten. This site was exactly what I needed right now. I just need some support, and knowing that others have been where I am, or are feeling the same right now helps me not feel so alone in this..... 
Thanks.

JeremysMom07 · Answer

Thank you everyone.... 
Good morning! This is the 1st morning Ive woken up & felt good enough to get out of bed & get moving.... It feels so good!!! 
BUT, I messed up last night... that call came, & I couldnt say no. My back hurt so bad, I just felt like I was gona lose it. I got 3, mainly so I could work today. Im a server, and its extremly hard to make any money at all when I cant walk.... I only made $20 all week, so I HAVE to make a lil bit today.... I hate myself for using that as an excuse to take any pills, but I figured that if I can get through today I'll have this weekend to suffer the beginning of w/ds, & by monday maybe I'll feel better. I think I just need to rest my back & then, it wont be as bad..... 

I really apreciate everyones support & encouragment. It means a lot to me, and it helps knowing that I can hop online & talk to everyone here when Im struggling thru these times. 
Im going to get better, & Im going to get through this, & Im GOING to stop the pills. I HAVE to try as hard as I can, and Im ready for this fight.... I think Im finally realizing how much I want to be off them. Reading some of the stuff on here has opened my eyes to things Ive been trying not to see. I cant thank anyone enough for that.... this site is amazing, & Im so thankful I found it when I did!

Well, its off to work for me.... I'll be back this afternoon! 
Hope everyone hasa good day!

MsTickles · Answer

You'll get through it... It's gonna be hell we all know it and have done it a few times. But it's really nice to be able to use pain meds only for pain and be able to wake up the next day and function without them and fearing withdrawl. I gotta say though... Its hard to admit but the mental addiction is strong. Even though I feel normal phyically, my brain is ALWAYS thinking "VICODIN ME WANT VICODIN" And it's still hard to do anything without it. Never thought it was me to become so weak to something. Sucks a small one. lol

worried878 · Answer

Lots of chronic pain patients here...I have had a back injury with defenerative disc disease since i was 26...I hurt it to the screwed up point teaching aerobics, but it was already a an unhealthy spine...i have since had fusions and all kinds of stuff to no avail....the narcotics started causing me more pain than my spine...when that happens sometimes you just throw in the towel...I know how to manage my pain without narcotics and did so for the most part until several years ago....just a matter of choosing between the worse of two evils for me....physical pain or mental pain that caused me to detach, become deceitful and manipulative, and take my inner self away from me and those I love

FLaddict · Answer

I also have chronic pain so I feel for you.  I have been off of pills for almost 10 months. The first 3 months were the hardest as far as dealing with pain. But I didn't give up. Now with seeing the chiropractor 2x per week, deep-tissue massage 2x per month, Lots of moist heat, stretching, yoga, the right diet, getting good sleep, and just started seeing a pain management doc who will be doing a Cervical Facett injection in 2 weeks to help my neck and headaches. Also researching Botox shots for my TMJ pain which was recommend by the doctor. There are narcotic-free ways to deal with pain. The biggest thing that has helped me is by accepting my limitations and not fighting myself over what I can't do anymore.  I cut back to 30 work hours per week. I go in a bit later so I can do my stretching and take my time in the morning. 
i hope you too can find help for your pain without narcotics. There is a way, just don't give up.

Army220 · Answer

J-mom

I was prescribed the exact same stuff as BMC (Clonidine and Gabapentin)  They both worked great for me while quiting CT.

I give you alot of credit for doing this being a single mom.  Keep trying and you will make it.

Army

bmc1976 · Answer

I also had a back injury. I had a herniated disc at the L5-S1 level. I ended up having the surgery a few years back. If you have a similar type of problem and have any questions, feel free to ask.
Brian

Kathy1010 · Answer

I have a back injury too which makes it really tough.It's so hard to deal with the pain without popping a pill.I'm a single mom too but not working(luckily I have a long term disability plan) Is there any way you can take time off?Is surgery an option? Surgery is being considered for me but I'm nervous how I will deal with post surgical pain.

Try hot baths with epson salt if you can.That helps me with the pain and withdrawals.I'll be thinking of you.

crazy2106 · Answer

i am goin through the same exact thing i am detoxing myself and i can relate to how you are feeling i will pray for you and i hope you find your way

confused456 · Answer

You are not alone. You have many that have been or are in the same situation and you will find a ton of support here.

bmc1976 · Answer

Just keep a strong mindset and you will make it through this. It wont be easy, but can be done. Many of us have been exactly where you are at right now. You just have to dig deep and find the strength to make it through. If you can talk to you doctor he can prescribe things to help such as clonodine. I was prescribed neurontin or gabapentin (the generic name) and it helped so much. If your doctor asks why you don't have any pain meds left you could say you decided to try getting by without them and flushed them. Just tell him you didn't realize you would have withdrawals like you are having. Just an idea. 
Try to exercise even if it's just a short walk. It helps so much. Also be sure to drink plenty of water. Just stay strong and you will make it through this! Best of luck!
Brian