norco

[Lyn212]

WEll, I just got my last refill (my dr said no more) and he only gave me 20 pills, usually he gives me 60 with 2 refills.  I am a;ready starting to feel anxious and I don;t know why.  I want to stop taking them, I am just so afraid, the pain I have prevenst me from doing much of anything and I have become this lazy person that just sits around taking norco all day long.  I am already sweating and worried sick about this. I don;t know what to do. I don;t think I am mentally ready to stop yet, but now I may have to.

[worried878]

You need to decide that you are ready to quit...that is the first step...keep posting

[worried878]

but I do know that feeling......It is a dreadful feeling.....I would often run out or be close and be really feeling yuck about it.....keep reading and keep posting...I am 11 days clean and just got plain tired of chasing lortabs

[Lyn212]

in theory I want to stop taking them, but I do have cronic back pain and 2 small kids to keep up with all day long, it is such a hard thing and I didn't even know how out of control I am till yesterday when I read on here that my dark circles on my eyes are from to much pain meds in my body.  I didn't even know the feeling of sickness in the mornings was withdrawls, I really didn;t know how bad I was.  Nobody knows, nobody asks me about how many I take a day, I guess my husbnand thinks I am following dr orders,  I don't know...I don't think I can stop yet. I just don't know. I am so afraid.  I have been on them fpr over a year daily.

[nldfw]

Hey there :)  I'm only 3 days clean from vicodin 7.5/500's using about 6-7.5 a day for the last 9 months.  I have a beautiful 15 month old daughter that I have every reason in the world to quit for- but it took me this long to do it.  I didn't even do it at first for her (GOD that sounds bad) but instead because I just couldn't find anyone to give me anymore and was tired of running to a new Dr. hoping he would give me some form of opiates.  It's a really hard thing to admit when you're an addict.  We find so much happiness in our drugs.  We find ourselves to be more confident, things are more fun, we're able to do more... but it has to be done.  They WON'T be around forever.  You WILL have to do this at some point.  It is hard.  It does suck.  But it IS worth every sweat, chill, nauseating feeling you will have.  I tell you- my detox hasn't been NEAR as bad as I thought it would be.  I'm on day #3 and have the hairiest legs in the universe from all these chills and sweats, and fits of anxiety.  This feels like one big continuous nicotene fit.  I think if you dig deep- and talk to God- often- you will find that he will help you through this.  You will find strength.  You will find yourself.

[Lyn212]

11 days, WOW!!!!  That is sooo good.  You must be feeling good about that, man that is great.

I have to get a tooth pulled this week, I am sure they will give me something for pain, I hope.  I just feel stupid asking for norco, like I am some freak. I guess I am.  I am telling you I never thought my life would get this way. I am almost looking forward to getting a tooth pulled to get pills.  That is so sick and twisted.  What is happening to me. I read about people getting them in the mail (pills) but I don't know if that is illegal, I don't want to ever break the law.  I am feeling so afraid with only 20 left, taht wont last long.  I am so tired of doing thos over and over and when I get a big refill I feel so happy and relaxed for a day or two, then start wondering how to get the next before the bottle gets too low.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Not time like the present. Take the 20 and taper as best as you can. You can do this. Pain increases with norco use. After you are off of it you will have less pain. It doesn't go away, but it does get better.

[allaboutmary]

Things happen for a reason.  You might find that your pain decreases considerably when you get off the pills.  I know this sounds crazy, but it's true.  It decreased for me and many others.  
I remember that feeling , the anxiety of thinking you will be out of pills.  When it happens and your ready, it is actually a freeing feeling. You can do this.  Keep reading and posting. Prepare all you can for withdrawal.  We will be here to help all we can.  

[Lyn212]

you are so strong to quit, good for you, that is so good...I also have a baby girl and I am telling you night after night I wonder how much better of a mother I would be to her and my son if I wasn't so controlled by norco.  I hate norco.  My kids require so much energy, I stay at home with a hubby that works nonstop, seriously he is always gone it seems. Do you think when I do stop, should my hubby take time off of work to help me, wil the withdfrawls be that bad, I take more than you everyday for well over a year now...isn't that terrible.

[allaboutmary]

Getting them through the mail is illegal. Don't mess with that.

[nldfw]

DON'T use the mail orders.  Maybe 1 out of 100 will be ok and arrive safely, but then what?  You'll have to worry about next time.  I tried that YEARS ago when it first started and someone from the ATF or FDA or something (a high profile named agent) saying that I had tried to get drugs into the U.S. from a foreign country and it was illegal.  He said they searched the truck and saw the drugs coming to me and wanted to notify me that if I attempted to pick them up or order them again, I would be arrested.  IT's no joke- don't try it.  It will only bring you trouble.  If you are a Mom- you can relate- do you want your kids to see Mommy being hauled away in handcuffs on DRUG charges.  Heck no!  You're a good Mom, I'm sure of it, so I know if you're like me, that would wreck your entire world.  You can do this.  It's scarey but it's SO worth it.  It feels so good to be even a little clean.  i'm still detoxing and it sucks- but I tell you- I feel human.  I feel like when my daughter looks at me- it's with new eyes.  I know it's me looking @ her w/ new eyes- but this is rewarding never the less.  I'm a real Mom today.  The kind that wakes up and does everything the best I can - wishing I had 100 hands and 100 hours in a day.  It's been rough- but I'm doing what the rest of the world (most of the rest of the world) does- and without meds.  It's great.

[Lyn212]

my husband offers NO support for this at all, he thinks it is mind over matter and I should just beable to "stop" he hasn't even noticed taht I have aged like 10 years the past year of taking these pills.  He is so oblivious to my condition.
when you say taper my 20 I have left, do you mean break them in half and try to take a half instead of one when the withdrawls hit?

[VicUser]

I was taking vicodin for 7 yrs for chronic back pain. I was scared that I couldn't live without them. It has been a couple months now since I took my last one and am still alive. I still have some pain but after the 3rd week off of them the pain became less than I had had in a long time.

The last time I saw my Dr I got the feeling he was going to cut me off soon so I beat him to the punch, just incase I couldn't stand the pain. Acupunture helps BTW

[Lyn212]

that is so sweet about you and your baby.  That really makes me want to try harder than I have.  It is like when I get a refill for 60 I take them for every little thing, like they will  never run out, yeah right...it is so stupid.  I wonder why he only gave me 20.  I

[worried878]

if you dont quit now you will be amazed at what you will do to find those pills...somewhere, somehow...you will become a person that you do not even know anymore...You will either sstart doctor shopping or going to some pretty strange characters on the streets to find them...been there and done that...It is not me...I was not me anymore..I am slowly becoming me again....I can tell...you are searching your brain about "How can I get some more pills"?  You are asking for help or you would not be on here...you are realizing that this is becoming out of your control...and you need to get the control back    keep posting

[nldfw]

If you have a hubby that would understand- even a little- YES- have him there for help and suport.  It's tough and you will need your energy. It's SO much easier when you have someone on your side.  Unfortunately, my hubby is NOT that guy.  He has no clue.  I have the help of my mom, sister, and God.  I would call on him for support for sure and ask him to take maybe a Friday-Monday off.  It's really about a 5 day thing w/ days 1, 2 and 3 (for me) the worst.  I'm @ the end of day #3 and feeling better.  If you're able to get some anti anxiety meds, just a few, that would be good too for the night time to get some sleep.  My Doc prescribed 5 valium tabs and that's been a HUGE help.  Those are very addicting too, but if it's just for a few days use, it won't be as bad. Be honest w/ your Dr., what do you have to lose, he may help you.  If he's said he won't give you any more pain meds- just fess up and tell him the gig's up and you want help through this.  So many Dr.'s understand.  Girl- do this.  Do this for those kids.  Do this for your marriage.  It will most likely bring you and hubby closer, if he's willing to put up a fight with you.  It's so worth it- I can't say it enough.  If you're a stay @ home Mom- maybe you could get involved in some stuff you wouldn't be able to before.  I could see where being a stay @ home mom would bring on the pills.  It's TOUGH.  You CAN do this though.  It's better to be stressed and off the meds, then dead.  Harsh- I know- but if you prolong this- who knows what you'll turn to.  Stay on this board- make friends.  If it weren't for this board- I would've found another Dr. and another "ailment" to bring me the meds.  I decided to stop the marry go round and do this.  I've never been more proud of myself and remember- I'm ONLY on day #3.

[Lyn212]

thanks for telling me about the mail thing, I am sure I would NEVER actually try that, but I know this week is going to get pretty rough for me, and who knows what I would be willing to do to get the pills. I can't actually believe I am saying this.  I don't even know myself right now. I am the one taht helps people with problems, now look at me, I am reaching out for help, from all of you, when I have all of these people around me taht have no udea how hurting I really am...it is so sad I have decieved them for so long.

[nldfw]

If your hubby isn't supportive- find 1 person- just 1 person that will help you through it.  If you have a close friend that can take the time off and stay a few days, a family member, anyone.  If you were in Texas- I would do it!  If nobody can come and stay w/ you, can he take the kids somewhere for a few days, or grandma come in and watch them while you get the "flu"?  Your hubby sounds EXACTLY like mine.  He's not even fond of friggin advil.  He's "walk it off" military man.  He has no clue what's going on, and I'm keeping it that way.  He's 1/2 the reason I was using them to begin with. I know it's not his fault- but we're not in a good place- and vicodin put me in a decent place to tolerate him.  Hahaha. I'm writing alot- hope I'm not making anyone mad!

[nldfw]

We can ALL help you.  I'm adding you to my friends list.  I want to keep in touch.  If you're still using in a month- I want to still talk to you- I won't judge.  It's good to have atleast 1 or 2 people to talk to when you're feeling down and out.  If it's just to say "God, I hate this... or that..."  We're Mom's and I can say w/ 100% certainty that I understand your frustration w/ the kids thing.  You love them- but when you're detoxing- a screaming baby is the last thing that you want to hear- and I'm here for you to vent at with absolutely 0 judgments.  My baby girl was wiggin out on day #1 of my detox- clinging to me- biting me- crying- whining- all over nothing.  Now that I think about it- maybe she could sense that I was losing my mind- so she started to lose hers.  Anyhoos- I had to get on this board and vent- and then go in a dark room and cry and pray for strength.  I tell you- if you start to get sick- try and detox yourself during that.  I'm sick right now and I think it's actually helped.

[Lyn212]

day 3 is wonderful, it inspires me if you are feeling so much better after only 3 days, who knows, maybe I really can do it.  I am going to have to, only 20 wont last long. I doubt very much I will have the self control to taper the 20, I just know me.  Yes, staying at hoem is hard.  My days are long and relentlesss. My back burns all the time and tehre is never enough rest.  My big "trigger" my mother in law comes by all the time, that wont be easy.  It is hard.

[worried878]

I found a friend as I am single...she had a problem too....we quit together...not alot of support tho as she had her own issues...in the end I told a few, even my mom as I have a chronic back condition as well...it is amazing how understanding people can be...as my head became clearer, I told more of those who love me....no dirty details but that I had decided I may have a problem and was gonna take care of it....I knew i DID have a problem but the "May" part sounds so much better!

[Lyn212]

that is funny about the getting sick thing, my son just got croop and has a fever so I am sure to be sick in a few days along witrh the out of pills thing, I will be a real preety lady I am sure...lol

[worried878]

if you need support or want to talk...pm me with your inbox in the corner....your name is not accessible to send a message to.....hang in there and keep posting

[Lyn212]

I can see what you are saying about telling people, it would be hard to do, but we do need support and understanding why we may not return the phone calls for a few days or look like yuk because we are detoxing, you would think people would notice.  Does it look like you have the flu (detoxing)?

[Lyn212]

I don't know what pm is to add you as a friend?  sorry I am new to this...

[nldfw]

Worried878- Good for you on getting clean- that's great!  You're right- saying it outloud to people that love you feels so liberating.  They always say the nicest things to try and help, and they really really do want to help.

Lyn:  My mother-in-law is the MOTHER of all triggers.  Luckily she lives in a different state- a state far far away- but she can afford to come whenever she wants and like's to stay for 2 weeks at a time.  I will no longer let that happen.  Hahaha. She's a sweet lady- but no- not gonna work anymore.  It's too much.  Could you tell her? If your hubby knows- it wouldn't hurt.  If she's willing to come by all the time- put her arss to work!  It may bring you closer.  If you put it to her like this:  "Listen MIL- I used pain pills for chronic back pain and over a course of ___ months/years, became dependent w/out even realizing it (blah blah- sounds better to them) and now I need to stop before it gets out of hand- but I need help.  Can I count on you?  Would you be willing to help me through this?"  She just might... and it just might be the 1 thing you need to get you through to the finish line.  

[Lyn212]

ok, I think I added you, thanks for thinking of me and wanting to help.  iT is a hard road, no doubt.  What a blessing to find this site.  When I got the pills and the dr only gave me 20 I ran to the computer right away because I knew I needed to talk about it, normally I would have been in a bad mood all night and nobody would know why.

[nldfw]

Yeah- you will look and feel like you have a bad flu.  You'll have the chills, sweating, restlessness- so milk it.  It's funny- everyone I've talked to on here got sick either going through detox- before- or right after.  I think our ammune systems are guarded when we're using- and when we quit- we catch everything.  That's the concensus anyways.  

[Lyn212]

reading that about what I should say to my monster in law lol actually brought tears to my eyes, I never thought I could say those words and sound like a sane rational person, but it does sound rational coming like that...this is such a very sad thing isn;t it.  I can't believe I've gotten to this point in my life. I NEVER thought this would be me.

[nldfw]

Listen- none of us thought that.  Peolple like us are everywhere and we're NOT crazy or weird.  We, YOU, are human.  People are addicted to cigarettes, food, drugs, alcohol- it's allt he same.  You and I are addicted to pain pills.  It's the new thing to be addicted to.  In the 80's it was coke, the 90's it was.... well... everything, and now- it's prescription meds.  It's all over the news, it's everwhere.  Everyday people- ADDICTED.  We're NOT circus freaks- we're humans.  DO NOT beat yourself up over this girl.  You ARE a good woman, a good mom and a good wife- that will never change.  You have hit a speed bump in your life, and you will get through it.  Just don't question how you got here, just stay above water until you get out.  If you beat yourself up too much- it WILL hender your recovery.  Focus on your strength and your reasons for stopping.  A good way to taper is to take 1 pill and not take another until the w/d's start coming on strong- and so on.  That way you're not taking them to get high- just taking them to stay above water.  I myself could never do that.  I had to have the high- to me it was pointless otherwise.  Why waste em' right?  Hahahaha- do what's good for you.  I'm TOTALLY here for you.  Day and Night.  You have a friend in me now.  My name's Nicole by the way. :)

[Lyn212]

yes, I know what you mean about wasting the 1 just to stop the WD...I doubt I will have the self control to just do that.  Maybe cold turkey is what will have to work for me, who knows.  Thank you Nicole.  All of this means so much.  You know it is just a hard road but with this site, I think I will do it.  THis is exactly what I needed, to actually talk about it, for real talk about it...I really didn;t know I had gotten this out of control. IT happens fast I guess. What a shame.  Take care, my hubby made dinner, bless his heart.  Goodnight. :)

[watermom]

Lyn....

Hi......Glad you are here.....

I agree with everything nldfw has said.  We are detoxing together and it has helped me so much.  She will make you laugh!  I am on day 6 and norco's were my choice as well.  When I didn't have them I did vicodin.  

I am a mom as well. I have a 4 year old and a 7 month old.  I have had a problem on and off for about 4 years I think...but really bad the last 7 months since my son was born.  I was off when pg but got the percocet in the hospital and out the door I went with a vicodin presciption and a refill and the entire thing started over.  It makes me want to cry that my son's first 7 months are a blur.  My turning point was when I was freaking out because i knew I wouldn't be able to get any for a couple weeks and my daughter wanted to go for a walk.  I couldn't find my son's sun shade for his stroller and I said to my daughter "we just can't go...really snappy" she started crying and said "but mamma I will find it I promise" and my heart broke.....I think I even said "shut up" which I do not do".  I wasn't myself.  I hit bottom.  So I told my husband the next day that I had "The monkey on my back again" and he knew what I meant'.  He isn't that supportive...like Nicole's husband he is a "walk it off kind of guy" and he has real problems...like gout.  He won't take anything.  I would try and make him take a pain pill until I realized I wanted them....he would say "Don't I have any"...NOPE.....I am still waiting for him to find out I got them filled from his Doctor AND his friend who is a doctor in his name for a fake gout episode....he will be pissed.  

Anway....my hubby is the only one I came clean with.....Just so happens both my kids had the flu right before so it was easy for me to tell my mom and inlaws that I had the flu.  My mom came for two nights then my inlaws took them for one night.  As nicole said.....you really can't take care of your kids the first 3-4 days.  On the 5th day I said "I am going to get my babies"  They are my inspiration.  Of course during the first 4 days my son was incredibly fussy and I took him to the doctor and he had an ear infection (poor little guy)....point is...I could NOT have done it without help.  Do you have anyone that can help when you get the flu?

I would tell your doc and see if he can help.....He has been giving them to you (I was getting from a few different sources so I couldn't really fess up).  He SHOULD taper you.  I agree again with Nicole...get something for anxiety if you can.  Some people do not agree with that approach but if you have two small children you really need it ...in my opinion.

I am feeling much more "present" with my kids...I have been taking walks....and I am about to go into the hot tub with my daughter.  

I also knew i was doing the right thing when my daughter keep bringing me pictures she was drawing for me to get better...as I lye there saying I had the flu.  Talking about ripping your heart out.  

Let your children be your strength.  Oh and I will send you an invite to be a friend as well.  I will never judge either.

[watermom]

Oh...you need to invite me.....that is if you would like to.....

[Lyn212]

I just talked to my hubby about this, he said he wont take time off of work when I get the "flu"..lol.  I guess I could see if my mother in law could keep them while he was at work and then he could pick them up on the way home. Is it hard to even have them in the house when you detox?  I hope it is really only a few days of the physical stuff.  I am really a baby about pain, I don't deal well with it (hense the problem I am in)...by the way, the exact same situation for me with giving birth.  I knew in my heart not to take that perscription when I left the hospital I knew it might turn into a problem for me.  It is sad, but DR's want patients to be comfortable, don't they know what happens...it sucks!

[watermom]

Lyn,

I am sorry your husband won't be more help.  You will need help.  It is hard to have them in the house to be honest. It depends on how old they are. My 4 year old wouldn't leave me alone to sleep and my 7 month old was whinier than I have ever seen him.  I was going nuts.  I knew something was wrong that is why I got the strength to take him to the doc and he did have an ear infection (my mom was here watching them).  

You know I was thinking today because people were posting about "triggers" and what to stay away from once they are clean.  Many people said there mom.  I know I do not want my daughter on a message board like this one day saying "My mom is my trigger" because I was a vacant mom.. This isnt' to make you feel badly, please know that....but it makes me want to stay clean. Just thought I would share.....

We are here for you.

[Lyn212]

this is such a life changing thing, I would have thought hte vows that we took when we said in good times and in bad, he would want to see me threw this.  I told him isn't a lousy 4 or 5 days worth having the real me back, the one with energy and not always sitting around...he didn't seem to have much to say.  I kow this is my problem, not his.  It has hurt us, I can tell he is hurting because he doens't understand, it seems simple, just stop taking them.  If only it were that easy...I am sure this will not be easy, but it has to happen sooner or later.  YOu are 100% right, my kids need it, the deserve it.  Your baby is only 7 months, you haven't missed that much, you still have lots to look forward to, his first steps, words, giggles, you can get it all in now and you can really be you enjoying him, you know.  It is a beautiful thing, to be a mother...

[Lyn212]

I am already sweating and it has only been a few hours since I took norco, that is scarry!!!

[watermom]

Yes, it is a beautiful thing....the most beautiful thing and it can be very difficult at times...challenging I should say but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

My daughter has been affected...I can tell.  But she is young enough I can turn it around.....I hope.  

I know what you mean about just wanting to sit....that is all I wanted to do.  I didn't want to play or anything.....that has changed.  I mean dont get me wrong...reading the same book 10 times in a row isn't a party...but what I see in her eyes is everything.

I am sure you hubby...as mine but he doesn't say it....feels a little betrayed....but you are going to change it.....he will see in time when he has the real YOU back.  He will never understand.....but that is why you have us.

Have a good night and check in tomorrow okay? I am going to go eat my anniversary dinner and play with my kids before bed.

Hugs

[Scootch]

I have been reading and made a post a couple of days ago.  I want to stop my norco use and tried to taper but had such a hard time.  I am trying to plan to detox this coming weekend.  Start Friday and end Monday.  What do you guys think?  I take about 8 10mg norco a day.  How sick will I be?  When is it the worst and will the kids need to be out of the house?  They are 3 and 5.  No one seems to understand that I need help getting off these meds and I have to figgure it out on my own.  I have been on for 3.5 years after a bad c-section so I have always been medicated as long as my youngest has been alive.  I want him to have the me I am when I am not on the norco.  Please help.  I so relate to the others on board.  Has anyone tried a 12 step program after they detox and if so how did that work?

[tuptup]

I have been on norco for 3 years, and have tried to stop at least 6 different times, but I always go back to using.  I guess regarding the comment by Lyn212 about withdrawals, I wish I could have contacted you about kratom earlier, it will completely get rid of your withdrawals and it's legal to obtain.  However you can also "transfer" the addictions with Kratom, which, in my case, is what I have done when I run out of Norco.  I have one more bottle of Norcos and I am going to give it my 7th try to quit when i have it refilled (I generally don't use more than 8 a day), but I just can't quit because of the mental thing.  Longest I have quit is 3 weeks. I really have got to stop as I know I am a walking zombie on them and it's a waste of money for me.  Remember when it used to feel good the first time you took them?  That feeling never comes back, I believe the Norco actually re-wires your brain over time and you have to be off the meds for months for your brain to actually get back to normal and kick the cravings out.  I wish I never took that first pill, I didn't even know what they were until I had my wisdom teeth out later in life.  After that first pill, I have been on a 3 year rollercoaster, and want to get off for good.  God bless,
-Jake

[Becca911]

Hi, I just started tapering today. I have been taking lortabs for 2 1/2 yrs since heart surgery, never did I think I would be an addict. but here I am, very addicted. I talked to my doctor about needing to taper because I just had another surgery one month ago so I lied and just said that I had been taking them for the last couple of months. I knew I need my doctors help to stop this addiction. I'm a mom and I have to stop looking for pills and counting pills and worrying where I'm going to find my next prescription. You can do this maybe you can talk to your dr and ask for his help. Mine gave me a taper plan and were using tylenol 3 so I won't have w/d's. Be strong and remember your kids need you. If you need me I'm here.

[watermom]

Scootch....hello.....Do you have a doctor that can help you?  Maybe give you something not as strong to start tapering?  Maybe something for anxiety?  I say this and I know it isn't popular with some people on here but when you have small children you really need something for anxiety.  If you have been on norcos for 3.5 years constantly and you are taking 8 a day.....it may be a little difficult to do on your own without tapering.  You CAN do it but it will be hard. I did it cold turkey taking 6-7 Norcos a day then down to 8 Vicodin.  I am on day 6 and feel better.  The first 4 days are brutal and YES you will need somebody either watching your children at your house or have a your mom/relative/mother in law take them.  If you do not want to tell them the truth (many don't...I didn't) then say you have the flu.  It looks like a bad flu (and feels like).  There are many people on here that can give you great advice as far as tapering.  Do you have enough Norcos to taper?  If I were you I would post your question on the main forum so others can chime in. BUT I want to keep chatting with you so I would like to add you as a friend...or you can add me.  I have moms on my friends list so far....we all understand how hard it is with kids and how much guilt is involved.  I will be on tomorrow.....so PM me okay?  Oh you will want to follow the Thomas recipe if you go cold turkey. It really helps.  I will tell you where to look tomorrow. Actually, I am going to post it in my journal and you can take it from there.  You can do this....you just need to figure out the best way to get there.......we are here....Oh and I haven't done a 12 step....that is a good forum question. I am sure somebody has. I do know people have said this forum has helped them tremendously. I know it has helped me thus far. It makes you feel not so alone.

Jake...hey to you....I have never heard of Kratom...but that doesn't mean somebody else on here hasn't.  I wish I never tried Norco (my fav) or vicodin.  Mine started with Vicodin and YES I do remember the first feeling and it doesn't come back.  You eventually just try and survive and turn into an entirely different person.  Are you planning on tapering?  There are so many knowledgable people on here that can help.  I know amino acids help a lot to get your "brain" working again.  I have been taking those.  I am going to post in my journal tomorrow what has helped me these last 6 days.  It isn't easy but I feel much more clearer.  You too can do this.  It will be an ongoing struggle but one that has to be overcome.  I would be happy to add you as a friend to if you like....It is easier to PM back and forth with questions......As I mentioned you can also post your question in the main forum and others can tell you their story.  There are different ways to go about this.  God bless you as well.

[Scootch]

sorry about posting in the wrong place.  I am having a hard time getting around this forum.  How do I add you to my friends?  Thanks for the advice and I think I posted again in the main area.  How do I PM you?  I am so lame!!!  I am going to try to figure it out.  Good luck everyone.  I think I need to go have a serious discussion with my hubby about trying again.  I have been to afraid to tell my doctor for I do not want him to take away my easy refills in case I change my mind or if my pain ends up being worse than i thin and then he wont refil because I have told on myself.  Iknow it is the addiction talking but it is loud and clear.

[watermom]

Scootch....you didn't post in the wrong place at all.  I just wanted you to post the question in the forum too so other people could give advice.....You are moving around the forum just fine.  I am getting my legs as well.  I sent you an invite to add to my friends list.

Let me know what you plan to do....

[mr.lucky66]

Fear is the worst thing about withdrawl. Just say, "give me your best shot mr. jones". At least I did after a few times but now don't have to go through it any more. Face it and it will be so much easier. All the best to you Lyn.

[Lyn212]

I just read about the kratom...where do I get it?  I saw it on ebay, is it like a vitamin? I have never smoked, done "drugs" or drink really, I am pretty skeptical to order something like that from ebay wondering what it could possibly do to my body.  Ittied to go as long as I could today without taking one of my norcos, within 7 hours I was hurting allover, sweating, restless.  It was only 415am and I had to take a half and go back to bed, then at 630 the same thing, I woke up to all the same withdrawls...I have a feeling this is going to really be hard for me to cope with.  I don't handle pain very well, never have really.  This will be the worst pain I have ever had, I am sure. The fear is really holding me back from wanting to stop taking them.

[Lyn212]

my mind is racing all over wonderig what I am going to do to cope with this...I am a mess today.  This norco has taken over all of me it seems.  It is like if I don't have a full bottle of it, I am worried about how I am going to get more.  I have to have a tooth pulled this week, maybe they will give me a new perscrition, but it is so embarressing asking for "norco" or something in that catagory.  It is like it instantly makes me look like a druggie.  If you were to see me, I don't "look" like that.  I know, non of us do, I am sure.  This is such a let down,  I can't believe I have let my life come to this.  I never even knew I had gotten this out of control.  Now it is the only thing on my mind, the norco.  I can't even think about trying to get stuff done around the house, showering seems like a challenge today, my mind is totally thinking about this week when I run out of my 18 norcos...I am so sad about this.yuk.

[nldfw]

Hey Girl!!!  Calm down.  Breath.  Remember when you were 10 years old... or 5 years old... and you didn't know about drug addiction... take yourself there.  Close your eyes and splash in a sprinkler on a summer day.... blow bubbles w/ your friends..... giggle in the dark at night w/ your friends at a slumber party... take yourself to a HAPPY HAPPY day in your life.  Remember every bit of it- feel it- smell it- taste it.  When you feel your heart beat settle- open your eyes and take deeeeeeeeep breaths in/out/in/out.  Then talk to yourslef.  Tell yourself you can do this, tell yourself you're not a slave to this drug- you are only human.  DON'T LET THIS CONTROL YOU MENTALLY.  I KNOW that's hard to actually do- but it's TOTALLY do-able.  Let yourself be vulnerable, yes, but DON'T think too far into how you got here or why- or anything- atleast not yet.  You can worry about why and all that jazz when you've got 7-10 days under your belt and start w/ the mental stuff. Today- focus on getting through it.  You can do this.  I know you can.  Just DON'T be hard on yourself- it will only hender you.  We are ALL human and we're not losers.  We're just people- people who happen to like to have a good time!  Hahah.  We're some of the funnest, funniest, spiritual, friendliest people in the world.  I've always really liked addicts- we're not the norm.  We're special- and in a REALLY good way.  Please talk to me if you need to- seriously- I'm totally here for you :)

[oxyaddict420]

I do not want to sound mean, but I have read every single comment you posted on this thread before I decided to reply.. In all honesty it doesn't sound like you are serious about quitting at all.  You say many times that you cant do this, and you cant handle this.. Well YES YOU CAN, YOU JUST CHOOSE NOT TO!  There is a difference.. Also I read in a few posts about you wanting to be able to get pain meds anyway.. Hoping they will pull your tooth out to give you norco "you hoped" right?  That is not being ready to quit.. This addiction is a nasty thing and I am not judging you in any way, but you have kids that need there mother, and need their mother to be a sober resposible person to care for them.. All I here is you saying "ME THIS" AND "ME THAT" OR "I CANT" OR "I WONT"!!  You have honestly admitted how out of control this has gotten yet right after that say you wish you could get more pills.. WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?  Do you want to get real and quit for good, or do you just want to get through until you can get mroe meds?  To me it sounds more like you just want to get more meds..  I hope you decide to think more about how this is affecting the kids rather than how you can deal with pain, and withdrawl.. THEY NEED YOU!!

Get mad at me, bash my response whatever "I DONT CARE: But for gods sake put your kids first and realize that getting clean is rough but very doable!  Staying addicted is just going to make things worse..  AS LONG AS YOU GET CLEAN THAT IS ALL I CARE ABOUT! THERE ARE PRECIOUS KIDS HERE THAT ARE TOO IMPORTANT TO OVERLOOK JUST DUE TO YOU NOT BEING ABLE TO HANDLE PAIN THAT WELL, OR BEING A BABY WHEN IT COMES TO PAIN"AS YOU STATED"  

PLEASE THINK OF YOUR KIDS FIRST, AND REALIZE THAT YOU ARE PUTTING YOURSELF BEFORE THEM WHEN YOU ARE A SLAVE TO THESE PILLS!

[nldfw]

Hey- she doesn't need your anger.  If she's not ready right now- fine. Don't be a jerk about it.  If you have issues w/ what she says- move on- and leave it at that.  If she's looking for help- then let her find it.
We've ALL been there.  We've ALL been where we kind of wanted to quit- kind of didn't.  We've gone as far as trying to taper, couldn't.  
This is a hard thing- she'll need support- encouragment.  She's being HONEST with herself- and with us.  You can't judge her for that. OFCOURSE she knows to think of her kids, etc.  This is an addiction- it's not a choice of what to eat for lunch- it's a physical and mental addiction.  You could have ALL good intentions- but you're struggling.  She's struggling with herself and with her addiction.
Just watch what you say to someone that's so fragile right now- you could do more harm than good.  In the end- these are our own decisions to make- but my day #1 started with someone giving me GREAT advice on this board.  To be honest with you- I didn't want to stop the pills that day.  I did but I didn't- I should say.  With help from REALLY positive people here- I have got 4 days under my belt

[anewbeginning]

I have heard that the Kratom is an addicting drug, which is just trading one addiction for another. DON'T ORDER IT!!!! If your going to withdrawal, then just do it & suck it up!

[Lyn212]

I don't know what to say.  I feel badlythat I go back and forth when it seems like most of you are on the road to better days, not taking pills.  I'm sorry if I was to wishy washy, it sounds like i have upset some of you, and that isn't my intention.  I was typing what my mind was telling me at the moment, I have never talked about this stuff to anyone, I have never allowed myself to even go there with this problem I am having. TO be honest every time I wanted to go take a pill today I came down and read on this site instead trying to go as long as I could without taking one.  This has really been a blessing to have, to know that there really is other people out there that are feeling exactly like me. Thank you all for helping me everyday.

[worried878]

I worried people on this forum for weeks before i quit....You ar working it out in your mind right now...that is all...you will get there...I can tell...You should express what you feel here..If you feel like taking a pill...or if you feel like you are weak....say so...if we were all on here lying about how great we are doing all the time, what help would it be...it is about thoughts, working with those thoughts, coming to a conclusion after thinking and analyzing...by the way  I have been clean 12 days and have a bad headache  LOL....did not have the best of days....most have been good....did not get a pill tho....working through my past behaviors and realizing alot about myself...I have been emotionally not ok since my divorce 15 years ago and did not start using pils til a few years ago....I have not been ok for a long time...I am seeing it now....one positive note to a negative situation...alot of people go thru life non-addicted but in emotional pain and never get this chance to figue things out as they do not realize they need to...I look at it as a new beginning to an old behavior pattern that needs to end...rambling but had a bad day

[oxyaddict420]

That is a good thing that this site is helping you.  Usually I am always a person with nothing but kind loving words, but it seemed like you got plenty of that from others.. I was just trying to shock your system into maybe looking at it from a different angle.  Sorry to be so hard, and didnt get upset or angry, just CONCERNED!  So use this website to help you all you need, and make sure to always post everything you feel.

BEST OF LUCK!!

[worried878]

u remind me of me.....lol

[watermom]

Lynn,

I am glad this site is helping you. It has helped me as well.  Immensely.  I think you really need to read many different posts and listen to different stories and and you will find some that you connect with....I know there are some people on here that have really helped and I am corresponding back and forth with.....others I just read and go on with what works for ME.  Everyone is different.  

I hope you decide to take the plunge and become clean.  Either by tapering or c/t.  You will feel better better about yourself as a woman and definately as a mom.  They do need you!

Hope you are doing okay today.

[Lyn212]

Hi,
I am doing alright.  I have some old darvocet that I got a while ago, after we got hit by a drunk driver.  That is the first med they tried me on.  I was hoping maybe that will help with the wd's.  Who knows. This week will be challenging but it has to happen sooner or later, that is one way of looking at it I guess. I will do some more reading to hear other peoples stories, that does help out so much, knowing that you all can do it, so should I!  It is so funny, I didn't really know how many people out there are suffering from this, just like me. It seems like a lot of new moms have this addiction.  I wonder if it is from the dr's giving pain meds at childbirth, then it becomes a crutch on the hard days.  I wonder why the DR's don't give something less addictive after birth. I read on the internet that taking pain medication exactly as perscribed wont become addicitive, atleast it is uncommon if you only take it exactly as it is supposed to be taken. I really wonder how true that is.  I am still thinking about that kratom. does anyone know if it is safe?