oc use, addiction, detox

I took the first step a few weeks ago. ADMITTANCE!

I happened upon this site a few weeks back in my search to get my life back, and here this site was.  I have frequented it several times now.  This morning, after having a hard night (from cutting back) I decided to go one step further...I became a member.

(wiping brow)

I wish I could say that I know nothing about this subject, but I do. I wish I could say that I have never been down this path, but I have.  My addictions started several years ago, I had easy access to a pill that would "make it all better."  So I started to dabble.  The first time, it was nothing intense, just experimental.  And it really did nothing for me, or so I thought.  I was naive, and never knew that I would experience withdrawls, the first time, I chalked it up to a bad bout of flu.  Years later, again I had easy access to the oxy 40 & 80. This time, I partied with them mostly, slipping up here and there...then they became a part of me, my daily living, through ALL routines of the day.  Again, I quit.  The withdrawls were not as horrid as I had expected.  A few more years went by, and I remained clean.  It was not until last May when my mum died, did I start in again.  I was so addicted from May to September, I would have to use just to get through the day.  Finally I got to the point of there I knew I wanted to quit, and I did just that.  The first week was horrid.  It was a hell, that I never wanted to visit again.  

OR did I?

This May came and went, and I became addicted once again to oc80.  By the time July was here, my father had died, and I was a wreck.  I upped my use.  It is now September.  I do not want to live like this anymore.  I want to be clean, I want to be free, I want to be the unaddicted me!  

I am hoping that someone in here will latch onto me, and help me through this. I have nobody that I can tell, vent, etc.  I know that my wd's are going to be vicious. I am using over 4 oc80's every day.  Two weeks ago, I began keeping a journal on my consumption, in hopes that seeing it I could wean.  All I can see is an increase in my use, and a consistent pattern of when I use.

Please someone be here for me, guide me, help me, I know it is going to be hell.  I just want out now.  

[Tab57]

Congratualations as you have completed the very first of several steps on your road to recovery. Now that you have admitted that you have a problem you must focus in on the exact problem. After that you need to come up with a recovery plan. This is much easier said than done.

Do you have a very trusted family member or friend who can help you through this process? If so go to them and admit your problem to them and also admit to them anything that you have done to harm your relationship with them as a result of your addiction. They will be more inclined to help you if you do this then if you don't.

Please start attending NA (Narcotics Annynomous) meetings. It is a great organization that can help to giude you along the way.

Good luck in  your efforts and continue to post as this site has a lot of great people on it with lot of knowledge in variuos areas related to addiction.

[laurel453]

Welcome to the forum :)

I have read your post a couple of times.. i feel your pain and i am so sorry for the loss of your parents, PariahsEmpathy...i lost my father some years ago and i still miss him every day ..... please, don't feel alone anymore nor a pariah..

we will be here with you and holding your hand ... i know it is hard to be positive now when you are still mourning for the loss of your parents   but make this for yourself and as a way of honouring them ... and, please, be positive that you can do it !

i see that you have been reading for some time... do you know about our advices to make those wds a little bit more tolerable ? you could read the thomas recipe and the amino acid protocol to start with.... there are a lot of stuff there  so i would advice you to take what you might need and leave the rest :) I will copy a list of some advices and natural supplements you could get....

this is a slow time here now but i am sure people will come and support you too ...again, you are not alone ...we will be here with you and pulling for you !!

after detoxing and as i have read, you have detoxed several times in the past you know that staying clean is harder than getting clean... we need making some life changes....leading a healthy lifestyle ( healthy diet, exercising, disciplined life ), getting rid of toxic relationships, toxic places, toxic behaviours.... and addressing our addictive behaviour and personal problems. You are going through a grieving time.... i ask you please, to ask for help here and don't reject aftercare...therapy, addictions counselling, Na meetings...

[laurel453]

Here the list ,




immodium ( diarrhea )

advil

a good vitamin complex and a good B's ...

some magnesium ( best chelated )+calcium supplements... to help you with muscle cramps and aches

potassium rich food... apple/orange juice  , bananas, spinach, raisins, nutcrackers..

a good chicken soup, tomato soup, eat as healthy as possible ...some protein shakes.

this is very important, .....drink a lot of fluids to keep you hydrated ... gatorades, green tea ( theanine on it, will help your mood and to relax), tonic water ( it has quinine and it will help you with RLS )

Hylands restful legs to help you with RLS , hylands cramps legs

maybe some natural stuff to help you with sleep like melatonin and valerian root ( good for anxiety too and it helped me with the stomach cramps , imo).

lots of hot baths ( with epsom salts if you have them ...)

start with walks and some light exercise as soon as you can to boost your endorphines, enjoy the sun ... exercise will really help you a lot to  heal and feel better :)

[IBKleen]

Hi & Welcome,

I see that Laurel is giving you some great advise, as always. Let us know if you plan on getting rid of those little devil pills ct or will you do a taper. A lot of members here, including myself, can give you the pros and cons on both methods.

Hope to see you stick around.

[Onedaysoon122]

PariahsEmpathy I am so sorry you are going through this too. It's only been day 3 for me. I need support and help too i don't know if I can do it. I want to so bad, to be heathly and happy and not sick anymore. I lost so much, gained so little. I feel so lost. Laurel had some great suggestions on natural remedies. B12 is a must. Sublingual methylcobalamin best form. Cayenne pepper is known to help opioid withdraws. Best to get a liquid form. Really wishing I had hylands restful legs.... Heard it works great. Lots of water...yoga and streching. Try a product called "calm" powdered magnesium, I personaly believe it's more absorbable. Stomach aches? Aloe Vera juice, they also make great stomach formulas out there I highly suggest everyone having a bottle of that. Good luck... Can't type anymore too weak and don't feel well.

[Onedaysoon122]

I need support and help. I'm scared I'm going to feel worse everyday. Please someone tell me if this is true or not. A friend of mine has been clean for about a month and says they feel worse now then  the first week. I hope this isn't true :(

[IBKleen]

Hi Oneday & Welcome,

You can go to the top of this page and hit the green "Post A Question" button. Follow the instructions to start your own post. that way we are not interrupting the original poster here and members can get to know you better in your own thread.

Give it a try and if you need help, just ask.

[laurel453]

Hi, onedaysoon

welcome here too and of course, we are here to help you too if we can :)

i would not say that after a month we feel worse, no way... but during the first 7/10 wds are so bad that we almost have no time to think and feel about our emotions and retionalise what we are going through... i am not going to lie to you...after the physical symptoms are gone, the mental battle starts and it is a tough one bt IT IS DOABLE....YOU CAN DO IT TOO ! Be positive that it can be done, Onedaysoon.

But there is something that it is the best tool here and this is asking for help to address our addictive behaviour, aftercare.... this is a long fight but it doesn't need to be a struggle for months . As for now, take each day at a time.....you are going through what are the worst days in wds, the 3rd and the 4th, each one is different but those days are usually the wors so soon you will start feeling better, that's the good news for now. :)

please, can you start a thread so we don't hijack this one ? :) that way members can get to know you and help you in your own post, ok ? :)

[Onedaysoon122]

Thank youibkleen and laurel, and sorry pariahs for posting on your question. Just posted my own. Good luck everyone.

[vicki595]

Hi~   Just wanted to offer my support,as well.  You've received great advice so far...

Stick around the forum and ask ANY questions...     Also,if you THINK this will be hell,
it probably will be. Have a positive attitude going in.

What have you tapered down to so far?