od

[helplessangel]

My brother has relapsed with heroin after being clear after a few years on heroin. He is in the hospital and in a bad way. He was passed out for over 6 hours and some kind of of enzymes ruined his muscles and he can barely walk. This was from some kind of enzyme that started breaking down his muscles and he ruined his kidneys. Has to have dialysis every other day. He refuses to get aftercare cause he says he can handle it and wont use again. Is that possible for him to get better without it? He almost died if he hadn't been found.

I've relapsed on benzos today. Feel guilty but I sure feel great. Even though I know benzos are the devil.

[BearsFan1966]

Yes make yourself your first priority!
Maybe once he is better and sees how you are living a clean and sober life he will want the same. Unfortunately he has to make that choice no one can make it for him. After what he has/is going threw I would hope it would open his eyes, but remember only we can change ourselves. Be a positive influence and show him what after care is doing for you and maybe just maybe he will follow suit!
Prayers for you and your brother and your family!
Life is so different when you are seeing it for the first time in years!

[helplessangel]

Ibk, I think you're right. I can only care for myself. He'd been using since he was in middle school and he's 29 now. I started using at 27. He has no coping skills or real life adult experiences without drugs. He's been in and out of rehabs. I finally went to see my family today and it was good. I could actually have a conversation with them. Granted, it was mostly about my brother. He's still in a bad way. It helped me to see what I narrowly avoided. I will work on my issues then maybe he'll come around?

[IBKleen]

It scares me hun that he doesn't think he needs help after he put the drug down. Drugs are no the problem. HE is the problem. WE are the problem. We are broken people and we need to get fixed and we cannot do that alone. If he is so smart and he knows so much about getting and staying clean then how did he relapse? That makes no sense.He still thinks he has control and he never did. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Think about that.

I pray that this is a wake up call for him but it doesn't sound like it. I am sorry to tell you but he may have to hit another bottom.

For now..you worry about you and get yourself well.

[helplessangel]

My dealer called me last night. Instead of kissing up to him, I told him to f*** off! Can't believe I did it but I wanted to burn the bridge.
Just as a thoughtful note, I don't think I could have done that without this forum and all of you. You give me strength. And now that I've seen what an OD can do, I don't want to go through that.
Just a question, do you think it's possible that after this month of pain, my brother (who did od on heroin) can learn and stop? He doesn't think he needs aftercare.

[IBKleen]

That is great news about your brother. Yes, he does have a long road ahead of him. I don't think you will drag him to a meeting. that is not how it works and he seems bent on not going. Concentrate on yourself. We teach by example. If he sees you in recovery and changing your life he may follow but be careful not to push him. Let us know how you are doing.

[helplessangel]

Thank you, I will use the link. Got some great news that my brother will no longer need dialysis! I'm so happy. What happened to him was the catalyst to make me stop. I thought he might need a kidney transplant. But, I didn't think they gave them to addicts. I'm not sure though. He still has a long road. He ruined his muscles by staying in one position for a very long time, can't use them, and has major nerve damage. He's not got use of the left arm, left leg, and left glut. Lots of pt in his future. That's just one od. I don't want any of you all to be in the same position. I'm going to drag him to a meeting when he can get discharged. He's lucky.

[IBKleen]

I think it would be a good idea for you to get to a meeting yourself right now. Your brother is in the hospital so he is being supervised. there is not much you can do about that situation so you need to work on you right now. You have to wait a week for a meeting? I find that odd. Click on this link and follow the instructions to find meetings near you. Don't wait honey. It is important for you to get help right now.

http://www.na.org/meetingsearch/

Let us know how you are doing.

[BearsFan1966]

wow thank you so much! you brought tears to my eyes as I read your response! I try to put myself in that persons shoes and tell them what I want to know or hear. I believe we are going threw enough with trying to become clean and everyone needs positive love along with tough love some times! I just wish the best for everyone and love and peace!
Thank you so much again makes me think I am doing some thing right!
xoxo

[mandi66]

I just want to tell you (no reply required) that your compassionate response to the posts that really need a quiet, sweet and gentle tone really touch my heart!!

When someone is in pain or as made some wrong choices (have we not all did these things), you respond in an assuring manner and we all need this when we are down.  Then, you tell them about aftercare and the responsible measures to take.

Thank you for your kind way of dealing with others on this forum.  Each time you come across its like advice you would receive from a caring sister or brother.


Sometimes we get on here and get too headstrong with our replys.  Just wanted to thank you for your kind ways.  Wish everyone would take time to think before they give advice.

Have a great day (spring has finally sprung, thank the dear Lord!!) and DO NOT leave this form!!  We need kind people on here to give kind advice.           blessings, mandi

[BearsFan1966]

I am so sorry to hear about your brother and yourself! First off you need to cut all your sources meaning let your dr. know you are stopping so you wont have the option to get another refill! Your brother needs you and to see you healthy so he can get healthy!
You both are in my prayers and if you need someone to talk to PM me I am here for you!

[helplessangel]

I'm not in aftercare yet but the next na meeting is next week. I plan to go. Obviously, this is not something I can do on my own. I wish my brother could go with me but he's way too sick to come. He says he wont go back after his od and I don't believe him. I relapsed since I could get my script. Before that, I had been off them 23 days. 25 for the subs.

[helplessangel]

I was weak and got my rx refilled. It's stupid because I've had psychotic episodes from w/d from the benzos. I started a fire thinking it would save the world, ran into traffic on another instance and blacked out for 2 weeks. I got my rx and I just could help myself. One would think my brother would open my eyes. He was found with the needle in his arm, pale, blue lips. Was in the hospital for a month. Now, he has broken down muscles and his kidneys are shot. But I didn't learn. Guess I'm trying to rationalize that benzos aren't as bad but deep down, I know they are worse. Had a moment of weakness. I do feel guilt but it has helped my heart/blood pressure so I don't have massive headaches...there I go rationalizing again. I'm a sick person.

[Sonrissa]

I'm very sorry to hear about your brother.  I hope and pray that he will recover and heal.  I also hope that he will reconsider aftercare.

Why did you relapse? Because of the situation with your brother?  How long have you been off the Benzos?  You know that will not help you at all.  Are you in aftercare?

I will keep you and your brothers in my prayers.