Aa
ok, i think i finally get it :-(
To all of you who are frustrated with me, I understand. I think I finally accept that this monster has grown to the point of being WAY out of my contril and I need help. What changed you ask?
Ummmm, wow I am so so ashamed and embarrased. One of my, um, friends that I see every so often has a different DOC than me. Something that I haven't mesed with since I was a teenager. For whatrver reason, it just sounded really good to me last week. So, to my extreme shame, I tried it. And oh man, all the old love that I used to have for it instantly came flooding back. And before I knew it I had smoked 2 grams of blow. And now, with my horrible terrible addict brain , all I can think about is taking another pull.
So here is my question. I am willing to admit that it this point I may need to go to a 30 day program. I simply cannot do it , however, until the middle or end of March. Please do not tell me that it can't wait and then it has to be done now and then nothing else important. I know how important it is. It just simply cannot be done now. So in the meantime, I know that there are n/a meetings, counselors, I just don't know what wud be the best or right for me. I wud appreciate ur opinions, but please don't tell me how stupid that was, pr that I'm going to die, etc etc. I know it was stupid. All I seem to do nymore are stupid things. I don't know where to even start with making decisions that aren't stupid.
Ummmm, wow I am so so ashamed and embarrased. One of my, um, friends that I see every so often has a different DOC than me. Something that I haven't mesed with since I was a teenager. For whatrver reason, it just sounded really good to me last week. So, to my extreme shame, I tried it. And oh man, all the old love that I used to have for it instantly came flooding back. And before I knew it I had smoked 2 grams of blow. And now, with my horrible terrible addict brain , all I can think about is taking another pull.
So here is my question. I am willing to admit that it this point I may need to go to a 30 day program. I simply cannot do it , however, until the middle or end of March. Please do not tell me that it can't wait and then it has to be done now and then nothing else important. I know how important it is. It just simply cannot be done now. So in the meantime, I know that there are n/a meetings, counselors, I just don't know what wud be the best or right for me. I wud appreciate ur opinions, but please don't tell me how stupid that was, pr that I'm going to die, etc etc. I know it was stupid. All I seem to do nymore are stupid things. I don't know where to even start with making decisions that aren't stupid.
Yes, the frustration is so apparent for good reason and the silence very frightening . I kinda equate Beyonds posting with a suicide cry for help. Would be hard for any of us to walk away from the bridge when ones about to jump. Come back Beyond and update us ok?
Wow certainly didn't mean it like that. I went down all the posts and each was the same
It''s sometimes hard top interpret tone and meaning over the inetrnet, it happens. As others appeared to, I took it as basically, "if you're so irritated, why bother!".
Thanks for clarifying!
It''s sometimes hard top interpret tone and meaning over the inetrnet, it happens. As others appeared to, I took it as basically, "if you're so irritated, why bother!".
Thanks for clarifying!
COMMUNITY LEADER
I get what you are saying. I too hope he is okay. You can just hear the frustration in these posts and he is nowhere to be found. It's almost like enabling in a way........
Wow certainly didn't mean it like that. I went down all the posts and each was the same.
I was trying to think of the perfect way to respond, thank you for doing it for me. We may need to take breaks from responding to others when we feel our words are not helping, but to just give up cause they're not kicking as fast as we want is not the answer. Screwed if your about, we care.
"Based on the comments people are frustrated with him. So stop posting in them, stop reading them"
If we took that approach, no one would EVER benefit from the help here. Many addicts deal with denial, and make excuses, some can be reached easier and quicker than others.
Being frustrated isn't a good reason, IMO, to not still try to reach out to a person. Who knows which post may finally hit home. We all want him to wakle up and "get it"...we want it more than him I think.
I truly believe his day will come, too...I just hope it's not too late. The situation gets more and more critical by the day.
If we took that approach, no one would EVER benefit from the help here. Many addicts deal with denial, and make excuses, some can be reached easier and quicker than others.
Being frustrated isn't a good reason, IMO, to not still try to reach out to a person. Who knows which post may finally hit home. We all want him to wakle up and "get it"...we want it more than him I think.
I truly believe his day will come, too...I just hope it's not too late. The situation gets more and more critical by the day.
Ballgame. Every time he posts this is how it is. He will post stuff like this and everyone will comment on it then normally he doesn't even write one comment back. He would normally pop back up when he has a new question tht could b a month. Hes been doing this exact same thing for MONTHS. Saying he can't lose his son or y today isn't good to stop,now his addiction is getting worse. No one here is trying to b mean to him or make him feel bad bit we have been trying to help him for many many more thts and I just do t think he wants it. He may say he does but Idk. We have tried the nice sweet approach and then it became tough love. Its frustrating to see new posts in a month about a different problem he wants help with but WONT EVER take advise tht is given.
He hasn't posted since the 4th (today is 13th). Hope he is ok. You have to want to get clean and it's clear he doesn't. It's why I stopped posting in his threads ...until this one.
Based on the comments people are frustrated with him. So stop posting in them, stop reading them. I hope he is ok but it's clear all the great advice isn't working
Based on the comments people are frustrated with him. So stop posting in them, stop reading them. I hope he is ok but it's clear all the great advice isn't working
Beyond,you should feel so grateful that you have all of these wonderful people trying to help you. I mean everyone who takes the time to keep responding to your posts obviously care so much. Nothing would make them happier than to see you succeed and stop using.
There is so much knowledge being shared with you from everyones years of pain.
I have no idea what to say to you and can only pray that you will soon listen to all of the advice that you have been given when you have asked for it.
There is so much knowledge being shared with you from everyones years of pain.
I have no idea what to say to you and can only pray that you will soon listen to all of the advice that you have been given when you have asked for it.
Beyond I Hope and pray that someones post on here hits a nerve withn you and you realize how serious this is, I always read your post and dont respond because they make me so incredibly sad for you and your child. Please stop with this and get yourself into a program NOW! March is too far away and you dont have that kinda time. Why do you post this stuff and NEVER listen to the advice? Its very upsetting and so many people on here care about you, Why dont you care enough to at least try a program , YOU ARE WORTH IT!
Soo..Is this what he does? Post frantic, begging and pleading posts and then disappears again?
Okay..So what have you decided? What are you going to do? I do agree that time is running out and there will be fewer and fewer options for you. So pick something and go for it!
and I'm afraid you missed the point of my post. I am not judging anyone, and yes this site has helped many people, thats obvious. Its helped me as well, it still is.
Brit, he has been here since I have been and its been a roller coaster with him. I doubt its some bored teenager . I'm afraid ur missing the point of this community. Most of the time I don't feel like I'm talking to someone I've never met. I feel like I'm talking to friends . They have helped me thru A LOT of stuff over the past 5 months. I don't kno where id b without everyone here. Please don't judge us or this forum by this post bc honestly u don't kno how hard we try every time he posts here to get him to understand he is going to die and he has a little boy who he is going to leave behind. If u want to get a feel for this site than look at the many many other posts where tough love isn't needed!! And just to let u kno everyone gives AMAZING advise no matter if their clean time is 2 days or 10 years. And as for u beyond u need to wake the he!! Up and stop shi*ting around. U kno how we all felt with u just smoking the polka noe ur adding coke into tht?!?! Do u want ur son to have a father? If u think ur wife doesn't kno ur using u are dead wrong I thought my husband didn't kno but I was wrong everyone knew by looking at me!!! U NEED TO GO GET HELP NOW!!!!! U don't have until march. And let's say u somehow make it till march what excuse is it going to b then as to y u can't go??? Come on ...
Everything that can be said has been said already, but I do want to add that you ARE looking desperately to have your actions validated by us. Not going to happen brother.
And as far as responding to him, all I can do is speak to own reasons. It is important to ME to try and help others, no matter that I have only 6 months clean or that the poster make be some teenager. If I can help even just one person then I am giving back to the community that has helped me.
This place helped me get clean, just a fact.
Bryan
And as far as responding to him, all I can do is speak to own reasons. It is important to ME to try and help others, no matter that I have only 6 months clean or that the poster make be some teenager. If I can help even just one person then I am giving back to the community that has helped me.
This place helped me get clean, just a fact.
Bryan
You remind me of my last two years of use. I had to push it until my organs started failing, and I was twitching on the floor gasping for air. I had to almost die at least 4 times for my lack of control to really sink in. I hope you are as lucky as I was. I lived through it, barely. Drugs will take everything, even to the last breath. Eventually, there's nothing left to lose. If you don't push it to the very end, you will know when drugs have taken enough, and you will know what to do.
I am looking up meetings, amd looking up and calling programs. I'm so broken. Sad. Lonely. Ashamed as I can possibly be. Take joy in almost nothing at all anymore. ;-(
I am not trying to excuse or justify my behavior...... but no, I do not do anything in front of, around, with, or anything else with my son.
I am not trying to excuse or justify my behavior...... but no, I do not do anything in front of, around, with, or anything else with my son.
Very good point; I'm guilty, but the guilt is mixed with frustration. Many have come and gone, telling various tales of relapse and recovery, but this guy worries me more than most. I'm concerned that his story will not have a happy ending. And then there's the issue of the child. That hits close to home.
As always, thanks for your insight.
As always, thanks for your insight.
I don't know that lol..but yes after reading all his posts..it just seems..like maybe thats whats going on. Everyone has given him advice, ALL kinds of advice..and its like hes coming back here and bragging about it, or dangling it in front of you. We cant FORCE him to do what we think he should do.
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