open fourm. what is our goal here.

[hippy]

my own personal experence here at this fourm has been a great help to me ever since i stumbled acrossed it back in feb /02
whhile i have been here i learned how to deal with the probleem
of getting off a 10 to 20 a day vike habit.
the good folk's here welcomed me ,and pointed me in the direction of the vitamine receipe here at the fourm known
as thomas's receipe. i started taking it right away and it helped
greatly in the area s of depression during withdrawls and lack of energy due to withdrawls.
along with the supportof the people here at the fourm i was able
to kick cold turkey. i still read the post everyday , and i try to reach out and answer any questions that i can.
there are other people here who have to take meds for severe pain issues. the people here at the fourm in this situation
are a great help to anyone dealing with such issues.
i have been around addicts that are clean an some that use,
and they all do there best to get along, we are a sensitive
lot. one of the hardest things for us to do is to ask for help,
amit when we are wrong, ask for direction. and sy wer are sorry.
these are secondary issues, the primary issues are geting off the drugsand dealing with pain and taking meds responsably for
real pain issues.
peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[puma]

Mrs. Rat,

I don't like calling you that because it seems so negative and you are a good human and don't deserve that title.

No, I did not give my son for adoption. The drug addict father abducted him from the daycare after I left him after he told me he killed someone.

I told the police, how useless they were. Since he was the birth father and went out of state they refused to track him down. I never allowed drugs at that time. I was really sraight as an arrow. I did not even drink caffiene even though I loved iced tea. I was an athletic health nut so to speak.

The ex-boyfriend, was straight until one year after residing with me. He started on weed and went on from there but only at his buddies as I told him never to bring it to the house. He was in the LSD days and stayed away for three days after I had my son then not quite 1 and 1/2 years old. He came home in a panic and told me he thought he killed someone. I said ,you either did or did'nt. No details but I called crime stoppers. They even came out here over 10 years later to ask questions. I had left him shortly thereafter he told me that with my son. Two months later, boom, I went to pick him up after work from daycare and they said OH, your husband came by and picked him up.

I haven't seen him since. I told the police. What useless trash they were. I have spoken with him about eight months ago, he contacted me at 22 years of age. He said he would call back and give me his cell phone when he got it. Nothing. I offered him my land in Florida. I saved it for him, on a lake. I offered him to come here and have my lawn service and plant nursery half/half and share my house and offered to put him through college. He was too confused and overwhelmed. I don't want to write a book so it's not all in complete order, but no, it was a kidnapping.

Thank you for asking. If you have any suggestions I am open to your comments anytime. If not on the forum. I will get a HOTMAIL Address to discuss it considering the things here lately.

I would like to hear your story too, I am not clean now, so don't think I one of those holier than thous. Take care, you are not a rat, maybe a cat! I love cats they are so intelligent and love their babies. I have 10 cats, four kittens, 1 dog.
Take care and and God Bless you.

Chatahan.......wildcat

[puma]

Hippee,

This the the most intelligent post I read today, thank you. You are so correct. We need to support each other in sobriety and not bicker especially these petty things. I admit my share yesterday. Remember once I said something to you, I cannot even remember now but I apolgized the next day and posted to you sensibly and you returned a pleasant post. We should try to get over these little glitches I call them and move forward.

Yes, I drank two days ago after having a seizure. My mistake. But yesterday I did not, but had w/d's of course. You know the viscious cycle, you've been there. I am so depressed today I don't even feel like going to church. I know that's the devil wispering with all this negativity here lately.

I am glad to hear of your soon to be adoption. You are so lucky to be sober and have a good wife to help you. I wish I could find my son. I looked his name up the other day on the net from where he last told me the last state he resided in. I wanted to call, but there were several listings as the father changed his last name to a really common one. His first name is not too common though. I may try calling,

[puma]

Hippee,

Sorry but my cat jumped on the keyboard and blammo, a post.
I was almost finished anyhow. I was just saying I may try calling him. I pondered it all week. and that is probably one of my triggers. I have to get my butt to meetings. They helped in the past, so I should go with what worked before.
Thanks for your inspirational message on what we really should be discussing on this board.

I should go now and hopefully others will post positive and drop all that entire last thread, including the one a little ways down. Take care and God Bless.

Chatahan........wildcat

[MrsRat]

Chatahan, reading your post, am I correct in thinking you are a birth mother and your son was given up for adoption ?  I'm a reunited adoptee if you need to talk about any part of the adoption triad to help you thru this time in your life.

I'm on day 5 here today and hanging in there.  I have times where my brain is clear and those are the times I will be using to talk with others.

MrsRat

[hippy]

good to hear from ya, yes we did a small tiff but we both
said we were sory about it and moved on. i know we all
need ech other help. you never know when you will need that
person to talk with,.
one addict helping another is without paralel, sorry for the
mis spelling.
i hope everyone is doing and feeling well, pax and love.
hippy/  michael

[lisabet]

Chat - your life story about losing your baby really hit me hard. I was divorced when my little boy was 5, (now 16) and I tried to imagine myself in your shoes if the same thing were to happen to me.  I don't think I would have been strong enough to survive it!  I can't help but think that one day you will connect with your son again; he will one day seek your truth. It's hard to tell what his father has told him, but honesty will prevail in the end.  You are right what you said in an earlier post---you are a survivor, and despite your addictions your heart shines through. Please believe in yourself and stay strong; I respect your strength and your frailities; you are what you are and don't try to hide that. I'm just a regular person fighting addictions, also, but I have to admit I'm cushioned with a lot of love from my son, family, lover, who are totally clueless about my addictions.  (I keep thinking it's just a matter of time before I'm busted, but good)..Sorry, I've gotten emotional and am rambling - just know my prayers are with you.  Love, Lisabet

[MrsRat]

Chatahan, no, I'm not a rat in that sense.  I'm MrsDataRat, the wife of The DataRat.  That's how I got that nickname.  My IRC nick I haven't changed, it's still BikerBabe, but everywhere else online I am known by my married nickname now. :)  We aren't sewer rats, we are online data packrats.. both net addicts in our own areas.  We met online in a usenet group, I flew to meet him, stayed 10 days, went back, packed my stuff and came back to him and we married.  I then got sick 6 months later.  I've talked about my medical problems in other posts so won't go into them here.

My first thought after reading your post, even in this brain fog of day 5, tells me your ex sounds like a few of my ex's with the 'I killed someone' bull**** talk.  They do that to scare you into staying with them.  I, like you, didn't fall for it and left.

I also have an ex who has my youngest son.  He will be 13 in a few months.  Just got my daughter back after she raised enough hell her dad was tired of her and she had found me by going thru her grandma's addy book when she wasn't around.  She just turned 16.  I also had custody of both of them, but after a divorce had no choice but to let them go to their dads. I had no job to take care of them and no where to live.  Was recovering from a head on car crash too.

Oh how I wish I could talk to your son.  He's young yet, please give him more time to come to you dear lady.  It sometimes takes till our kids have children of their own, before they see things as we, their parents, see them.  Then they understand and do come back to us.

My birth mother when I found her and to this day, is an alcoholic.  I never let that keep me from loving her.  She gave me this beautiful life that I'm trying to get back.  The Crohn's Disease comes from her bloodline, not my birthfather's.  I still have to love her as she is.  I can only pray that one day she will get to the point where she doesn't need to cover the pain of her lost kids any longer with the alcohol.

To find your son right now is up to you.  Only you know for sure how he will react to you if you are not yet sober.  You may or may not want to wait until you are sober before you try for contact again.  We all are different in how we view others and what personal traits of theirs we may or may not agree with.

I will happily email you if you get a hotmail addy or any of the tons of free types of webmail there is available today.  I do know that hotmail has not had the best of security in the past.  You may wanna try another free service for email.  I'd hate to see your email get read by an employee sitting in an office somewhere, just cause he's bored and he can.

MrsRat or BB, if you prefer to call me that :)

[puma]

Lisabet,

You were not rambling at all. It must be tough to hold a secret. That has to be just as hard in my opinion. You are waiting for the axe to fall so to speak. I will be praying hard for you to able to find the right time in God's will to let your family know the truth. Then you will have full support.

That's my problem, lack of support. Always winging it on my own. With all the responsibilities of life we need support, I don't mean financial, but emotional. Financial doesn't hurt either!!!! LOL.....  JUST KIDDING THERE. You know I am listening to the songs I referred to and came back and saw your response. I am one of those that always survived and believed in isolation. I am really isolated here on Guam, I'll tell you that. LOL. Maybe only the arctic would be more isolated, but I despise cold weather!!!!!

Right now I hear, I saw you on the radar scope, your eye was more than what I expected. We are in double jeapardy, double jeapardy.

I need to change the song some, because it was referring to Pakas double eyewall. I will rewrite it for Chatahan and Halong five days later.

Off the wall, sorry, first time I listened to music in a while due to depression.

OKAY, THIS IS FOR YOU, .....WE ARE BACK ON THE ROAD AGAIN , WITH OUR EYE TO THE SKY, THE DRYLINE IS FIRING HIGH, SHE IS ON THE GROUND...... AND SO ON............ Sorry trying to get myself in a better mood. The addiction songs and resulting consequences are a little more intense and serious.

You now I have two tornado songs that would have been better suited for Twister. But I never sent them. Talk about babbling, I really am showing my true love,,,,,the wind......

I need to email you, I saw it twice, can you post it again, I would like to share more. We have so much that can be done if we put more than one mind together. Talking here as you've seen lately is wierd at best.

Take care and God Bless.

Chatahan.........wildcat

[lisabet]

It's funny you mentioned "Twister" - I saw it on cable the other day and thought of you and your love of storms.

My e-mail address is ***@****.  I would be glad to hear from your anytime.

Love and good-nite, Lisabet

[puma]

MrsRat,

Thank you for your comments and suggestions. It is very comlicated like I said and sobiety is not my real issue here as I've tossed a full unopened just obtained bottle more than once.

Right now I am in full confusion. It may be the low grade Klonopin for my seizures, or the fact I had a seizure a couple of days a go. Plus I stopped the Ultram and need to run if you know what I mean? I think I just want to rest. I skipped Church and need to do other things. I don't know why I am still on here. I don't feel good. I need to go. Sorry, but thank you for your concern. Take care and God Bless,

Chatahan.......wildcat

[MrsRat]

Chatahan, get sweet sleep tonight.

You did make me laugh, yes, a Crohnie knows what 'going' a lot means.  LOL.  I'm on a first name basis with my toilet, have been for most of my life.

Due to time zones I'm hours ahead of you, so I have hours yet before I will sleep I'm afraid, even with all the drugs I have to knock me out.  They don't work real good during the withdrawal time I am finding out.  Not being able to get warm isn't helping me any either.  The cold makes me flare :(

I am unable to go to church for some time in the future.  If you are like me, can you call your Pastor on the phone and talk with him ?  That's what I have been doing with mine.  We pray over the phone when I need it.  I hope that's an option open to you.

Hope tomorrow when you are up and posting, it finds you feeling better than you did today. Heh, hope that for me too.

MrsRat

[puma]

mrsrat,

It's only 6:40 pm here. You must go to sleep really early. I can go anytime. All I have to do is lay down and boom, asleep. That's except during withdrawal. I have to get up early tomorrow as I have two of my cats to be spayed. Or I will have fifteen soon.
I do not discus my really personal life with anyone, so don't bother asking please. The church thing. Gotta go, I don't feel well and the tape player is screwing up. TAKE CARE.

Chatahan........wildcat

[MrsRat]

I'm in Arizona.  We are 3rd shifters, so bedtime for me is about 5-6 a.m. and I get up sometime in the afternoon.  That's why my posts are probably always behind everyone else's in here.

We have 'Arizona' time here.  We never change our clocks, so half the year we are Pacific time, the other half we are Mountain.  Once I was here a couple of years I pretty much got the hang of it.

By your time that you said, it sounds like you aren't in the states, yet I thought you said you were in Florida (OHHHH, how I miss it).

Forget where you posted it at, but I also don't discuss religion on the net.  That's something my hubby enjoys, but I don't.  I am sad I am gonna miss communion tomorrow though.  *sigh*

Gonna go now for awhile.  My daughter brought me home a banana and I am gonna try to force myself to eat it.  Read y'all in here say it's good for the leg shakes and I get them when I lay down.  I haven't eaten since monday, yes, it's saturday, I've been staying on a liquid diet because of my Crohn's.  Hopefully eating it won't cause me pain and it will help the legs.

MrsRat

[suzieneedshelp]

If ya up then do u have yahoo to chat live?
Suzie

[puma]

Suzie,

Yah, your as good as anyone to blow off some steam. I just went out for a peaceful dinner at Wendy's. As I was coming out, This girl said. "Hey, remember me from mental health?" She was all smiles and happy. The guy with her just sat and looked stunned.

I said yah, "aren't you the one that pushed me on the floor? She said yes. I said, "yeh, I have had a permanent lower back broblem ever since."  She just giggled. I said, "You know, if I wasn't on 12 mg's of Klonopin at that time I would have thrown you through the wall." She giggled again. I said,"Really you are lucky, I was on 12 mg's of Klonopin. DO you know what that means?' She just looked starry eyed, I said, "I have had a f#$%d up lower back ever since. If I was not on 12 mg's, I would have probably killed you then."

She just giggled and didn't even seem to be coherent of the consequence of her action. I told her bluntly, "Don't ever introduce me to yourself again in the future or I may klll you and maybe anyone with you".

I know there I made a threat, but she broke confidentiality as well as I still could sue her for injuring me. I said,"If you don't believe me, I have a machete right here waiting for you." my dog was waiting too!!! Good Bart!!! She had nothing more to say and and I heard the boyfriend say let's go. Then we both drove away. Man, I still wish I had thrown her at the wall. I called the cops back then, but pffffffffff, useless ****. I was just another f#@kin psycho to them.

The theme here, maybe the ***** will think next time before getting violent. I was detoxing and could not do anything except call the police, a waste. But I warned her of next time, don't think you are a friend just because we shared an in-patient unit. I WARNED HER FOR NEXT TIME. Man, people are nuts. It's a good thing I took my meds before leaving the house. Thank God.

Chatahan...............wildcat...............

[puma]

Mrsrat,

I don't trust you. How about that. You said I got wierd listening to music. Do you have something against music or just don't like storms? Jealousy perhaps? I will always make a living on my own.......you try it.......

Chatahan......wildcat

[MrsRat]

Chatahan, honestly, no, there isn't music in our house.  I like country music, my hubby likes techno.  The two don't mix I guess.
We don't even have a T.V., all our time is spent online if we are awake.

What I may have seen as you speaking strangely, perhaps was you quoting a song ?  If that is what I was reading, I am sorry I thought you were getting overtired and needed sleep.  We sound like we have both been thru a whole lot of the same things in our lives and I did not post that to offend you.  Please keep in mind, I'm only in day 5 here and doing the best I'm able.

In fact, I took my meds early, at 4 a.m. and I hope to fall asleep soon.  Sleep helps take the pain away.  I got 3/4 of the banana down me (first food since monday) and a few sips of ensure I had here (disgusting stuff that it is).

I'm so sorry to hear of what you went thru when you went out to eat.  No one should have to go thru that when they are going thru what we all are in here.  We need kindness, not people in our faces who have brought pain into our lives in the past.

I've been homebound for the majority of the past 4 years.  My way out to the world is online.  All my friends are in here in different areas.  I do hope to get out again in another month once I get a new wheelchair or maybe by then my legs will regain some of their lost strength, no one knows till the time comes.  I don't say anything to anyone ever in offense, unless they are a troll, I know you aren't that, you have been posting in here for quite some time from what I've read.  I posted to you from concern, not from contempt.  I'm sorry I made a bad day for you worse, I didn't intend that.

MrsRat

[southernbelle]

Good Sunday morning to all of you.  hope everybody had a decent night.  i have a question if anybody is interested....has anybody ever taken skelaxin (muscle relaxer)?  is it addictive?  i'm supposed to be taking it for my back.  mainly just need to know if i need to be worried or not. i've managed to stay away from my "poison" for a couple of months now, but i'm still in some pain and the doc gave me skelaxin.  anything anybody could share would be appreciated.

[groovygirl]

Things, obviously, got way out of control yesterday and I'm sorry.  I behaved like an ass, and I wish I could take it all back.  My original posts that got a couple people riled up were not meant to anger...my intentions are usually good, but I guess I need to work on my delivery.

Looking back on the posts yesterday sickens me.  I think that I have become way too cynical, and the help this board offers has done all it can for me. Instead of people's posts inspiring me, I feel more angry that they aren't better yet.  I've been here a long time, and the same people post the same sad stuff over and over...the struggle continues... it never goes away here. Instead of recognizing it is what it is, I let the ugly anger out here...obviously that doesn't help anyone.

I am not cured, and I have to live with the ugly fact that this addiction will haunt me forever.  It pisses me off.  I will take my anger elsewhere - like into a kick-boxing class or something.

Again...I am sorry.

[puma]

Lisabet,

Hi, I hope you don't think I am off the wall. Those two
tornado songs I refered to are more county and western style. Most other music is island cha cha and rock style. No Rap.

I am really tired, it is 2:00am here, (Takuusa) I have a bad headache and fell asleep with my cats with my computer still on. Weird, I have always turned it off in the past. I guess it was one helluva day. I have to wake early to take two cats in for spaying. (Taakka). I had better run for now as I am about to doze off at the keyboard. Take care. I'LL EMAIL YOU.

Chatahan...........wildcat

[puma]

Mrs,rat,

I forgot to add you but did explain the music you asked about.
I am in Guam, not Florida although I lived there seven years as a Vet Tech. I own land there too in Punta Gorda. I have been on Guam going on 19 years this DEC,3

Also the 16th anniversary of Super-typhoon Kim on Saipan!!!!! (One of my best), I might add, I went there for it even though the stupid military weather service here at the time said it would miss by 200 miles. I think direct eye passage over northern Saipan is close enough, ney? I have great video. You've probably seen it on TLC, they say it's Paka though. That's the British for yah. They used alot of my stuff without paying. I could sue, but too lazy right now. Maybe someday. I need a new roof. Mine is rusted metal on solid concrete. It leaks like a strainer. My typhoon check was embezzelled by some ***** along with 386,000.00. of others deposits. I hope she enjoys her chushy jail cell.

Anyway, that is minor stuff for now.....Take care and God Bless.

Chatahan................wildcat

[bmac]

I understood the apology.I wasn't angry at you yesterday,I was just having fun with this.That's until 1fortheroad popped in.
All of this doesn't matter antway..Just like a couple of months ago remember I tried to apologize many times and you just kept coming back at me.Well,I think as I said if you want to be here without having to be concerned about me being here too then just say so.I am sure Medhelp isn't going to ban you.Why would they?
The only profanity used was by your idiot friend last night.
I think your apology was genuine but you don't need me to tell you that.So how about it,TRUCE?
                    Bill

[Chezz2]

Hellbent. Your point is well taken.

To Everyone :

The bottom line though, is forgive and forget. Live and let live.

This place should be for everyone. Regardless of past issues or whatever. As long as they come forward...

That is my opinion.

The bottom line is she obviously needs help and support and was going about it the wrong way. I can assume most of us has done that in some way shape or form.

Also, due to this being a public forum. I guess the only way to get along is to not post to whom you can not help. Or whom you do not truely care to help. If someone posts something you don't like, let it ride.

To bring more anger and hatred will only wear you down......
Chezz

[groovygirl]

I thought it was kind of funny at first...then I got way out of hand, and I feel really guilty and stupid.  I deserve to get banned, and it will probably be good for me.  Like I said, this forum has served me well until recently.  It brings me down...I want everyone, myself included, to get better - the posts are sad, and I tend to wallow.  I'm very depressed right now, and I need to get away from this computer...it has become yet another bad habit.

My friend meant no harm - it doesn't matter if anyone believes it was or wasn't me.  Anyway, I think a truce is in order...at least I can leave knowing I apologized and meant it.

[puma]

Hellbent,

Condradulations on six months. That's a great accomplishment considering what you had to got through to get there.

Chatahan........wildcat

[bmac]

Thank you!Our problem between each other is over.

[Chezz2]

Right on!!!


And BTW - That is what I figured happened. Is that Groovy was joking at first, then you guys both got defensive and out of hand.

I am glad that is settled.

Live and let live, What a good Sunday this is....

Chezz

[groovygirl]

Mr. Michael sent me a pic this morning of him and his daughter, and I sent him one of my family....ya mean you two aren't going to be using it for dart practice now...oh good.

[PING]

hi guys. glad everyone in better mood today. bmac, i am doing ok,not clean yet, but will be some day. and now i'm setting here listing to some good bluegrass music, would like to be playing my martin guitar with them, i love all music, but i like to put in some of those bass run's with the band. hope all has a good day.
                            lee.

[swampmonster]

i kicked the vics using panlor/promocet from a doc. i also used the vitamin/supplement regimen and kicked the painkillers.  i am nervous all the time and depression set in but has subsided somewhat.  i got stupid and started taking Xanax and am now up to 5-10 2mg bars a day.  i got them through a doctor.  i have enough to wean myself off.  is this possible?  can i work my dosage down by 1 pill per day?  i've tried to use kava kava to help stress and to take less xanax.  i need some suggestions because i have heard that you can die from xanax withdrawal.  someone please help me.  i want all this **** out of my life.  i don't want to get on Paxil or another anti-depressant because i think my depression is a result of vicodin withdrawal.  SOMEONE PLEASE RESPOND BY HELPING ME.

desperate swampmonster

[hellbent]

I don't think 1 pill a day is going to cut it. You need to do some research on this. Try http://www.benzo.org.uk   - this site came in handy for me when I went was coming off benzos.

I was taking 10-15 mgs of klonopin daily, and stopped cold. I really don't reccommend this - it was horrible. I was w/ding from oxycontin at the same time, but I think that the benzo w/d symptoms were worse than the opiate withdrawals. I didn't sleep for 23 days STRAIGHT. Ended up in the ER.

I saw people tapering for a year with your dosage on newsgroups. These people had anxiety disorders though, and probably just couldn't take the kind of pain addicts can (and **** can we take alot :)

Why were you prescribed xanax in the first place? How long have you been taking it? The duration of your addiction is almost as important as how much you take as far as determining the severity of withdrawals.

[puma]

Swampy,

I remember you. Congrats on coming clean but be real careful with the benzo Xanax. Ask your Doc for a longer lasting one for taper such as Valium or Klonopin and do really taper. If you are afraid of abusing don't even start because w/d's are hell and back.

KavaKava I am afraid does not mix well with benzos, I have tried it and hallucinated for two days. I was in full detox however but it did nothing to stop the shaking, seizures or Delirium Tremens. You may try it later after all drugs are out of our system say one month from your detox date. Ask your Doc about the taper of Xanax, it is so short acting and more easily addicting so I've been told than the two other benzos I mentioned above. Good luck and God Bless.

Chatahan.........wildcat

[Starraven]

That was a great post!  I'm sorry that we are not inspiring you, but we all have our different time frames to recover. I applaud  for making a public apology.  It shows you really are a good person.  
Suze

[puma]

Hellbent,

I don't know how you did it. I was almost the same 10-12 mg's of Klono, 300 mg's of straight Codiene and one bottle Gin. c/t sucks. It really shakes the mind and body doesn't it. The 23 days no sleep or eat I can relate to. I almost died until my doc put me back on the Klono. Are you off of everything now? if you don't mind me asking?

Chatahan........wildcat

[hellbent]

Re: Mariposa

I'm all for giving people plenty of clean slates, but this is a person that created 4 accounts here, pretending they were all different. This is a person that needed to create these accounts in order to pretend that she had support for herself and her position, as nobody else would go to bat for her. That kind of reckless dishonesty is a danger to the integrity of this board, as are her staggeringly judgemental posts to others.

I think this board would do well to take a break from groovygirl mariposa1 mariposa2 1fortheroad, but that's just one mans' opinion.

[hellbent]

Yes, I just got a 6 month chip on Thursday. I made it, and so can others. Thanx for asking.

[groovygirl]

I have had two accounts - actually 3 - groovygirl which I had to change because of the imposter, mariposa which i had to change because of something...not sure but I couldn't log on and mariposa 2.  1fortheroad is not me...i already said that.

My apology was for the general population of this board for mistakes made over the past few days.  You and bmac have never been especially nice to me, and I wasn't really asking you for a second chance.  I fully expect to be banned from here, and I'm not asking for forgiveness from you or anyone else.  I felt like an apology from me was fully necessary to others on the board who don't come here to here that kind of stupid ****.

I have spent too much time at my computer lately...wallowing in my own misery...I got carried away.  I was out of control, and I can't take it back.

[bmac]

I am terrible at darts.I am sure I would miss if it did.Something you said in your post above about being on the computer too much is right.I think that is one of the problems we HAD.We both were sitting here waiting to jump.It does get to the point we need to be nice to each other for a change.I think it will show others things can get better even though we are addicts.No more of the **** from me.I,like you got sucked into the flamming mode.Your apology this morning kinda slapped me in the face.Like wake up and stop being an *******.Thanks for the peace offering.

Lee,
Bluegrass is a wonderful form of music.One of my favorite bands is String Cheese Incident.You can find their music on line at
www.sci fidelity radio.com I think.Check it out.I always wanted a Martin D28.I love their sound.Nothing better.
I also have an upright bass which is very hard for me to play but it sounds so good.It sits in my living room like a piece of furniture.Looks as good as it sounds.Well continued good vibes to ya!
              bill

[suzieneedshelp]

Thx for the apology.  Hope u are well today.  
Suzie

[Chezz2]

See you guys. Glad it all got patched up.

Happy happy joy joy.

It is sunny and nice here. Spent too much time on the computer yesterday. I am spending with the wife doing whatever she wants to do.

So have a good one. Take some time out to just enjoy the day too!

Chezz

[groovygirl]

Yeah, I sit almost all day at my computer...it's my work.  Plus, since I want to get out of the journalism rat-race, I'm working on my first book.  I am ALWAYS here.  I've made it into the most pleasant spot in the house that I could.  My desk faces my back yard, which is beautiful...beyond my property is all conservation land, so it is a peaceful place.  The back of my house is almost entirely glass, so I really feel as though I'm right out there.  It was sitting here this morning, looking out there, that I felt more shame about the **** I pulled than I would have imagined.

I have started my day coming to this forum for a loooong time.  I am trying to think of a new way to start the day...my husband suggested yoga, but that would be hard to do with a dog, cat and kid running around...I'll come up with something.

Thanks for forgiveness...

[bmac]

No,thank you.
we have gone from slamming each other to being civil and actully nice to each other.It just goes to show we are all human and *&^%
up at times.It should be a lesson to everyone here,things can get better.Have a good day and don't let depression keep you from living.But somehow knowing you the way I do,it won't last long.Peace to you!
                Bill

[hippy]

really nice to see the kindness back in the fourm.
there are so many good people  here, with all kinds of experence and intelagence regarding pain . and pain meds.
recovery from the pills and dealing with chronic pain.
we  are all lucky to have fourms like these to go to to find answers.
there is nothing worse than being alone and not having anyone to talk to. so welcome to any new people just finding this fourm.
stick around and post any questions you might have,
peace !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hippy /  michael

[Bodymechanic]

For some reason, right at this moment I think I am in love with you.  I think it is your humility, willingness to take chances and then take responsiblity when you make a mistake. Every single one of us here is a little screwed up in the head. We have no right to judge one another.  

So Mariposa...will you marry me? Oh yeah...I forgot, I'm already married with a child..I'm also an old, tired and burned out drug addict.  Besides I would not want to marry anyone who would want to marry me.

May you find the peace and happiness in your life that you seek and no doubt will find.

[groovygirl]

I used to say the same thing about not wanting to date or marry anyone that wanted to date or marry me...I would have no respect for someone like that...haha.

Thank you for your sweet words...I have been depressed for awhile now, and I need something, but I don't know what.  I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired...and angry.  Anger takes so much out of you doesn't it?

Thank you and thank you everyone who has had kind things to say...I don't deserve it.

[theGolden1]

Please don't tell me ultram is just like methadone.....

[hippy]

hey there hell bent , your post regarding maraposa
is incorrect.
i have been here the last 10 months and i know the preson you refer to .
i am not going to explain the situation , but i will just
say you are incorrect..
when we presume to much , we wind up with our foot in our
mouth.

peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!please don't take my post  wrong.
i am just trying to clear up a misunderstanding. before
it grows legs.

[southernbelle]

how was your sunday?  did you see your nephew?  hope it went well.

[hippy]

thanks for asking , everything was realy good.
my sister is the one i am concerned with now, it
is really hared on her with 5 kids as it is. let alone
having to take one to dr.appoinment all the time.
there seems to be a lot of organazitions to chip in with
the money part of it.
anyway it was a good day
thanx agian.

[hellbent]

"i am just trying to clear up a misunderstanding"

-Not sure what that misunderstanding is, she already copped to having all those accounts. I think it's pretty clear that she was also posting as 1fortheroad yesterday. All I said was that she was dangerous to this board, especially to new people (and I saw that when she was "groovygirl" too - I've been on here quite a while myself).

If you haven't read how she treated the person going through withdrawals yesterday, perhaps you should. It helps to actually know what went down before drawing a conclusion on it...

And don't worry about this thing "growing legs". I am not invested in this conflict very much at all, or this board for that matter. I've got some clean time now, and want to help other addicts if I can, and this is just another way to do that. Peace bro'

[Patrice]

The diease of addiction has absolutly NOTHING  to do with the devil.....This is a diease that is not a moral issue, and if that is what you think, there is a forum called "Christians in Recovery"  Whoever put it in your mind that addiction is "the Devils diease" is ignorant....I hope you wont listen to him/her..Church will not help you.......Only other aaddicts can help you...See, we have already been to Hell, and we have returned

[hellbent]

Heard this the other day, and it rang true...

"religion is for those trying not go go to hell - spirituality is for those who have already been there"

[Patrice]

Thanks buddy, I forgot exacally how that went, but you are right on!!!!!!!

[puma]

(Hellbent),

Again, you are the wise one here. I like your posts. Even if not always positive, they are honest.

(Referring to the above poster), We all, already have been to hell or we would not be here getting off the stuff or asking for help. I never blamed the devil for my addiction!! I simply implied in my spiritual beliefs, that the devil whispers to keep one away from God or spirituality, church meetings, etc.

It has already been proven through scientific study that people whom attend church, relapse less than those only attending N.A./A.A. ETC. I am open to most beliefs. I wish the fake that posted above you,(scared to use his own name after telling me not to respond to him or him to me), would learn how to read.

Just, as in some earlier posts, some of the same referred to things allegedly said to them that were said to others and clearly marked so as well.

Thanks for your input today. Some of these people just don't want to let their anger die. That's their own hell, not mine or yours. I plan to improve my life, not wallow in self pity as they seem to want to do. Take care,,,, dare I say!!!! God Bless, LOL.

Chatahan.........wildcat

[hellbent]

"Again, you are the wise one here"

Jesus, I wouldn't go that far...

You know, I never read the post of yours you refer to, and wasn't commenting on it. I will say that I know plenty of religious folks who couldn't get or stay clean until they worked the steps of na/aa. I especially know they are saving my ass on a daily basis, as long as I stay open, willing, and work hard at it. But I wouldn't touch this argument with a ten foot pole! I'm actually off to a meeting right now, or I'd talk a little longer

[hippy]

there is a lot of truth to what you were saying about groovy but some of it was not true. that is all i was trying to let you know without  going into detail.
she and my self were given new names because someone
found a way to use them about a month ago. groovy never tried to hide this fact.
she also has been blunt to say the least with people.
and i can see why a lot of people are turned off by it.

whether people are right or wrong they should be treated with some level of respect.
i go to na meetings every week. and i just try to be of some help to people here when ever possible.
you will never see me posting anything rotten or lousy.

peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[puma]

Hellbent,

No arguement there, I was agreeing with you, but as you admitted you did not read the entire thing.

Yes, I strongly believe in N.A./A.A. however, I do believe spirituality is part of those two groups. STEP-2 for example. Are you a greater or higher power? Wise comments from experience, yes, higher power, no. I never declared you God. You still seem to have quite a bit of anger stored up, that's where the spirituality part comes into play so I have been told.

Good luck at your meeting. take care,

Chatahan........wildcat

[FLAMES]

hi everyone
   i am new to the fourm but not to addiction.
i am a recovering alcoholic of 3 yrs. i found out
a few weeks ago how it is to go through methadone
withdraws.i wasn t sure what was happening till
the pain got so bad i ask my wife to get me a
couple of her pills for my back,in about an hour i
felt alot better and i started putting it together.
now here i am with another self inflicted problem.
AA is awonderful program and works great for my
alcoholism but nobody at any of my meetings knew
anything about this pill thing.so ive been looking
everywhere and found you guys. i've been sitting here
going over all this stuff for hours.thank you so
much for being here!!now i am taking 20mg every
other day to keep from crashing completly.any ideas?
i didn't pay attintion to the drug part when i was
in treatment huh?       FLAMES

[hellbent]

I think we are on totally different wavelengths or something. My comment about being/not being wise was meant as self-deprecating humour because, well, I don't know **** and don't claim to. I survived a wicked detox, and have a little time practising a way of life that affords me the opportunity to stay clean for today. That's all I have to offer here. Once I start thinking I know all the answers I am ****** in the head again, and that's all I meant by that.

It's sometimes hard to get the context of peoples comments here. We can't look each other in the eye, and we don't know each others' personalities, humour, etc...

[puma]

Hellbent,

Like I said, no arguement intended and I do think you know more than you realize. I was trying to compliment you, not bring you down. Your experience is a wealth of knowledge to others that may otherwise suffer as the previous poster just implied.

Take care,

Chatahan......wildcat

[Msblacey]

I have not posted in a long time.  But i have been all all opiates, and addicted to most.  THE MOST HORRIFY WITHDRAWLS WERE FRO METHADONE.

[Msblacey]

I have not posted in a long time.  But I have been addicted to most opiates, excluding heroin.  THE MOST HORRIFY WITHDRAWLS WERE FROM METHADONE.  That is the worst drug I ever put in my body.  And by day 7 I thought I was dying.  I had no idea how long the withdrawls would take.  So what did I do...I went to an Urgent Care, told them the truth...I was on methadone...going throught withdrawls...and I cannot take the pain. I was not concerned about anything but getting better.  So I got about 5 prescriptions for Vicodin.  And the withdrawls went away very soon.  then I started weening off the vics.  So this may be bad advice, but I would not have made it without some sort of strong pain killers.  And because of the vikes, I was medicated heavily during the worst of the methadone W/D, I could sleep, eat, ect..  You would be suprised at what a doc will give you if you are honest.  I did lie about my regular doc.  I told him that I lived out of town and that my doc was in another city.  That way he would not call or be skeptical about the vics.  but at that point..meds were the only thing that would help, and I was not taking methadone for addiction, I was taking it only for pain.  But they are the WORST withdrawls in the world.  My advice is gets some painkillers, then ween off those..I feel for all the methadone withdrawlers.  It is hell.
PS, vics even cleared the fog!

msblacey

[puma]

mrsblacey,

I have not been in that situation, but thanks for responding because I am sure you will help a great many who are using and are afraid to ask or comment. Thanks for posting. Keep coming back in spite of the negative nonsense lately. That will be solved soon, maybe even me. That's okay. The forum needs people who have been through it to tell others. Thank you and God Bless.

Chatahan......wildcat

[Msblacey]

Hey..Thanks for responding.  i am an opiate addict of 2.5 years..started on vicodin.  But nothing has be worse than withdrawling off methadone.  And my advice to take vicodin or some other opiate to get off it is not the best advice, but after 7 days and I felt no better...i just could not take it.  and some people think methadone withdrawls may be 3-5 days like other opiates..but is it NOT.  It is hell.  and i encourage anyone and everyone never to take that medicine..never.  I don't know if you have taken it, but it was hell.  I have not posted in over a month, so i thought i would give some advice to those who have questions about meth.  

Also, i have tried many pills to get off vicodin..the one that worked the best, got rid of the symptoms almost completely..was Ultracet, which is related to Ultram..it is the mildest of the opiates, and it is non-scheduled.  It really has worked to get off vicodin..if any one asks..that is a good alternative...and may work for percocet or other drugs as well.


msblacey

[puma]

msblacey,

I have not taken Methadone but there are a few here that have and have said withdrawal is terrible. There is the Thomas Formula, I am not sure if you have seen it, but it is commonly posted for the more uncomfortable symptoms. Hippee has it down pat.

I have gone through some hellacious withdrawals, but mainly Benzos and Codiene. From what I have been reading, (Bmac, and Hippee) are the ones to ask about Meth. They usually suggest tapering which you appear to be doing, That is good, COLD TURKEY/SUCKS..... no matter how you try it.

I am sure one of them will answer you soon, they have the experience. Mine is only Codiene, Klonopin and alcohol. Bad enough. I no longer take Codiene, but the damn alcohol is really a pain in my butt...... The Klonopin I take as directed. But Alcohol seems to haunt my brain cells into thinking I am getting something great and then I feel like ****. You would think logic could overcome it but it does not.

Thanks for posting,,,, I am sure you will get more intellegent answers for your concerns later on. Welcome again, good luck and God Bless.

Chatahan.........wildcat

[Msblacey]

I am sorry to hear about the alcohol..For some reason, that is my least favorite of the addictive substances..so i am not a big drinker.  i actually did quit the methadone, but it took vicodin to cure the pain.  i feel so sorry for anyone that is on it and has not yet experinced those withdrawls..And you cannot taper off of it like other opiates, either way you feel like you are dying..so if anyone ever asks you about it..tell them to get ready for a month of hell, unless they seek some serious aid like i did.  i know what you mean about bmac and hippi, they have been thru the worst.  anyways, be careful of the klonopin..benzos are addicting, i am sure you already know that..one time i abused valium for one week, taking 50 mgs a day. i hallucinated the first day of withdrawls!  It was wierd.

anyhow, take care..and i will post again soon!  Glad to hear you are off codiene.  All of these damn pills are evil.


good night!
msblacey~

[puma]

Msblacey,

I am now preparing myelf for sleep. I am listening to music, a rare occasion here. You would not want to know this one. It happens to be (someones gonna get hurt before you're through) No intentions there, I recorded it 20 years ago. It came after (here comes the rain again). Now (Take me down)!

I cannot sleep some months unless I hear typhoon songs. I did not write these, just enjoy them. Man, I need sleep. I have to get up early so I had better go. I feel a storm brewing in the air!!!!.

Chatahan.....wildcat

[groovygirl]

I explained the account thing...you can believe what you want about 1fortheroad.  

Hell - I wasn't asking for your forgiveness, and like I said, I fully expect to be banned today.  I can see how my brutal honesty isn't needed here.  People need more of a shoulder to cry on.  I know I need to work on being less judgemental and more supportive.  All my anger about addiction and whatever, seems to come out in my writing.  I'll probably start an addiction journal and let it all out there where no one can get hurt.  

Hippee - I will work on the "brutal honesty" thing, and thank you for your kind words.  I'm thrilled to hear about the adoption...I was adopted.

[puma]

Mariposa, if you write a book I had better not see any references to my situation or GUAHAN OR YOU'LL BE SUED BIG TIME.

Take care,

Chatahan..........wildcat

[dreamin]

I used to post but then lurked for awhile, but am finding that I miss interaction.  It helps..it is too bad that someone gets so negative because this forum had helped me.  I wish there were another forum like this.  My headaches are still excruciating, today is ok so far and I am seeing a new neurologist, but he won't give me anything until he "knows" me better.  so I am dreading each day...sorry to post with such a downer, but I need your help

sheila

[suzieneedshelp]

Hey, I have really bad headahces.  Are yours migraines?  Wut do u take? Mine have gone on now for over a dozen years.  I am addicted to stadol ns for the pain.  That is how i got here.
Peace to your life!
Suzie

[dreamin]

They have alsways said they were miraines, but now I don't know.  I started having them in January, I never had a headache in my life before that.  My dr moved and the new guy won't give me anything for pain.  I am on topomax (topamax) (just started) but it takes 3-4 weeks to get to a therapeutic level.  I honestly don't know if I can make it until then. I may lose my job

sheila

[koalabear]

Can you email me at ***@****, I can help you.

Koala

[dreamin]

I did

[dreamin]

are you still here?

[suzieneedshelp]

Yes, I'm back.  You need to go to neurologist.  NOW!,  to rule out other causes.  I know its scarey.  You think u may have tumor or sumfin.  I've been there.  How old r u if you dont  mind me askin? Mine started realy bad in late 20's.  Hormones very relevant.  
Peace to you!
Suzie

[suzieneedshelp]

I was disabled from my headaches for a time in my early 30's.  Its so hard to work or do anything with your head killing u!  Wut are your symptoms?  Do you get nausea, or visual disturbances>?
Suzie

[dreamin]

I think I have had every test under the sun...
I had ovarian cancer when I was 24, so the hormone thing was dealt with a long time ok.  I am 40..just turned 40.  I get sick to my stomach and feel terrible. I live in a samll town.  I just don't know how to deal with the pain....

sheila

[Popeye n sweetpea]

hello all lurkimg here and glad to not be alone, wow so much hits home, day three of 20 day vik habit the usual lower back  buldge neck pain etc.. Single dad of a 5y/o girl just returnd from living in camboida where i bought codune over the counter 30-40 per day. fo allmost a year.

It is tough and i have been here before, i know it will pass but the emotional relive it brings along with the pain relive is wonderfull, i simple can not take it as described, iam a alcoholic & addict simple, I have 14 years no drinking. Anyway would like to hear from anyone in the same boat or simular, thanks I have enjoyed the posts and just need help.

Sincerely,

Popeye

[groovygirl]

Hi, and thank you for your response to my apology yesterday.  I too have bad migraines, and they started six years ago right after I had my child.  I've had every test, and I've tried every migraine med...it is how I got started on the pain meds.  Bup works the best for me...1 amp per day, and I rarely get one.  If I stop taking it, I get them bad...basically, I've been using it as a maintenance-type thing.  Most docs disagree with what I'm doing, but it is my body, and it works for me.

Someone on here said magnesium got rid of them completely for her....who knows.

[Allburnedout]

I was on 20+ pills per day and fenatyl patches due to lower back pain and thigh pain. I had been using heavly for 2 years and realized I couldn't take as described either. I finally got to the point where I was taking so many meds and I couldn't get ANY effect from them. The first days of withdrawal were pure hell and there's no way around it. The receipt will help along with tons of hot baths. The baths will raise your body temp and cut down on the chills as well as help with the aching muscles. There were times I had to hang on by my teeth and I even relapsed on day 10, but I'm clean again and the "fog" that was in my head is lifting. I get more energy each day. It does get better. If you are serious about putting the pills down, you can do it. Just take it one day at a time. Good Luck.

[Allburnedout]

I was on 20+ pills per day and fenatyl patches due to lower back pain and thigh pain. I had been using heavly for 2 years and realized I couldn't take as described either. I finally got to the point where I was taking so many meds and I couldn't get ANY effect from them. The first days of withdrawal were pure hell and there's no way around it. The receipt will help along with tons of hot baths. The baths will raise your body temp and cut down on the chills as well as help with the aching muscles. There were times I had to hang on by my teeth and I even relapsed on day 10, but I'm clean again and the "fog" that was in my head is lifting. I get more energy each day. It does get better. If you are serious about putting the pills down, you can do it. Just take it one day at a time. Good Luck.

[Popeye n sweetpea]

Thanks I have been taking ultram for  a few days ,four a day. I have heard the horror stories and am concerned, but it seems to help a little although not for the pain??
I really appreciate your post, Thanks, day four tomorrow and no pills in the house  thank god Or i think, wait  I KNOW i would take them. Peace

[Starraven]

I wrote the post to Mariposa  about her apology before I read all the craziness below. Then I was ready to leave this forum and told Cindy so in email.  I jumped the gun on that post.

Maybe it will stop now.  I just want things to get back to normal.  If I get flamed for emailing cindy then so be it.  BMAC, You were my first contact on here and my complaint was not about you, you were just defending yourself.  ANd by the way, can i have a picture of you? LOL  I'll sent you one of me that you can throw darts at!  Peace everyone, you just don't know how this form has helped and I get real nervous when people argue.

Hugs,
Suze

Suzie, i am often on late at night..my email is ***@**** you need to talk, email me and I will turn on my yahoo for ya.

[groovygirl]

Again...I am very sorry about my behavior.  I am still feeling badly about it, so it's obviously something I care about.  I can't explain what happened - I got out of control.  Words have always been my thing...probably explains why I'm a writer.  They can be very powerful. I have written many letters when I've been upset and then never sent them.  Looking back on them, it's a good thing I didn't.  It's different here, once you hit the "post comment" button, there is no going back.  

Obviously, with this amount of people participating and the varying degrees of unhappiness that many of the forum members feel, there are going to be arguments.  I can't claim to like everyone, but I can try to have more respect and compassion in my posts.

[movingon]

Hello everyone and anyone.   First time poster (here or anywhere believe it or not).  Looking for advice.  Since an accident where I broke my back almost two years ago, I have been taking about 80 mg of Oxycontin and 80 mg of Hyrdocodone daily. Also, I have been for many years (I'm 43) probably what most consider a heavy drinker and have an "addictive" personality - i.e. i like the high. Although I'm still in a fair amount of pain, I think its time to kick the habit- tired of being a slave to the clock and the next pill. So I tried not taking the pills and, surprise, that lasted about one day. Qs :Can anybody tell me if its more or less difficult to get off when you're taking two drugs vs one, specifically the two I am taking.  Would it be better to go to a higher dose of Oxycontine and not take the Hydro and then try to quit?  What is the formula?  What about drugs that would help me withdraw?  Do you think my chances are better in an outpatient or inpatient environment? Is the depression I read about inevitable?  Any advice about finding an "addiction doctor".  When I if I kick the habit, is it wise to try and take some pain meds occasionally when it really hurts?  Are there other pain meds that might be effctve but not addictive?   Thank you all.  Sorry for all the Qs but I am a newbie and


Scared of the future

[southernbelle]

post your thread up a little higher...some of the older, more experienced folks here can offer you great advice.  either way, i can tell you it will be hard.  it depends on what your goals are.  are you wanting to be COMPLETELY free of taking any pills?  is that your ultimate goal?  i here it's easier to taper off...much easier than going cold turkey.  no matter what, stick around here...you'll find folks who are going through the same thing and have been right where you are.  you're in the right place and you are always welcome!

[groovygirl]

Hi - There is no "formula" - there are things that can make it easier.  If you can swing inpatient, you might want to go that route.  Have you talked with your dr. about this...that is the first step.  Do you have support of family and friends?  That is another biggie...the depression can hit hard.  I was taking a combo of things too, and I am now taking Buprenex in small amounts on a daily basis.  You could look into that...it's called Subutex for detox (I think).  

I'd talk with your dr...then decide what you want to do...good luck.

[Starraven]

When I find myself "losing it" or not being in control of my anger..In email, or in posts or whatever. I reread what I have written,  think about it, count to twenty, calm myself down a bit, leave the room and go outside for a breath of fresh air if its necessary for a moment and then come back to see if I want to still hit "post message" Or "send email"  I have done the same thing..Hit sent mail and thought..Damn, that was harsh.  I shouldn't have said that.  With my new attitude of doing things, I do less apologizing. When things are directed to others in email and in forum their first instinct is to flame the person that flamed them, without thinking about it or taking the breath of fresh air, because frankly they are furious at that point and usually they have good reason to be.   This just works for me, I've learned over the years.  Life is hard, work is hard, The pressures of life are hard, but I try to see the good in all people and all things and live one day at a time and not to stress to much because stress will kill you fast.  I try to help as you have on many occasions..if I see a post that is directed to someone other than me and it infact pisses me off to the point of wanting to stick my nose in it..I turn the computer off and leave it at that.  Then later I am calmed down and I don't go back to that post..Am I making sense at all. LOL  Life is just too short.  Its the little things in life that bring us joy that is important.
Hugs,
Suze

[groovygirl]

Thanks and yes you made sense.  You are right about the little things...I am trying to concentrate on that.  I've been overwhelmed with so many things lately...my head is spinning.  I am going to go relax, and write in my journal...that is where I can be brutally honest and not feel bad about it. I truly appreciate your being as understanding as you have been...it means something to me.

[Starraven]

can you explain to me why you wouldn't marry someone that would want to marry you..(Did I tell you that I think I am in love with you? LOL)  Frankly, I feel the same way and I have been married to the most patient man in the world, living with the most difficult woman in the world..He accepts my downfalls, my faults and I often tell him he needs someone that would be a better wife to him, but he says to me " one good hour with me, is worth all the bad ones Ie..Drug withdrawals, the pain, the popping of the pills, the agitation when I had none) I am a German, Bitchy, spoiled, a drug addict.  Who in their right mind would want to live their life with someone life me.

Your post hit close to home.  
Suze

[gia]

I read your post about your son and i am sorry you lost so much time with him, But I will pray that you two will have a beautiful reunion someday. A friend of mine did find her son after 25 years and he told her he hated her and wanted nothing to do with her, however, a year later he called and told her that he loved her and forgave her and now they have a wonderful relationship.He even moved her near him. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. I must say you are a brave woman and have been through a lot, I was very moved moved by your story but I wont pry. God Bless.

[Starraven]

You are very welcome for my post, It took alot for you to apologize.  To be honest.  I was afraid to ever answer any of your posts because i thought you would say something that would hurt my feelings.

If you ever get a chance,  pick up a book called " Tuesdays with Morrie"  It will make all the sense in the world to  you..I know it will.

Hugs,
suze
and by the way..My email address is ***@**** (two nn's)  if you ever want to talk.  I post my email alot but aside from lizzy and some strangers that find my email address on here looking for help I get no replies to my requests for emails. lOL

Bmac, i was wondering if you would email me too, I have a question for you.

noone likes me. :( LOL

But thats okay, I'm a big girl..I can handle it. LOL

[bmac]

You have mail.

[groovygirl]

That is terrible that you felt you couldn't answer my posts for fear of being ripped by me...that makes me feel very bad.  I'm really sorry I come across like that...I know it though, and I am working on it.

[Rex1]

I am not on such a high dose of Opiods, but have been on 10-15 Norco a day for some time.

I have tried cold turkey many times and it was just too much too soon. I am in a slow tapering process now, and down to 4-5 Norco (10/325 Vicodin) a day.

Now, this is no picnic, and yes the depression is hitting me, but I realized one thing recently, really when I arrived at this forum. GEtting off of Pain meds requires a well thought out plan, plus a support system, and maybe the help of a doc that understands what this is all about.

I was trying and failing, trying and failing, and wondering why. When I met up with the folks at this forum, I found out something that made me feel much better. I am not alone.

Try with everything you have to start tapering now. Create a document that lists all the reasons why you MUST do this and read it daily. And support the folks here. Check out the Thomas Recipe and maybe consider getting an addiction doc involved.

I hope this helps and I hope to see you around.

Rex