opiate w/d it's not good

This is day one for me off opiates following a 2 or 3 year daily use.   Was taking 60-80-120 per day, for 2 yrs, then got down to 40mg for 6 mos or so, then I tapered for 30 days @ about 30 mg.  I did not taper this week, I took more than usual since I knew Friday would be d.day.
I’m here to tell you quitting is not for sissys! Its 3 pm here and by now I would have had 15 mg OC, via ¼ of a 20, every 4 hrs.
I haven’t had any today, I’m self detoxing at my home. I felt ok until about 12 noon. The 1st thing that happened is that I got slightly light headed took 0.2 clonodine at 12 noon, my blood pressure was 145/98.  At 1 pm, my skin is starting to crawl so I took 1 puff of mj and I just took 10 mg valium, I am very light headed. I need to go watch a movie and quit focusing on this……  hungry but food needs preparation. Got Gatorade. I’m getting sleepy, but not sleepable.
2 pm
I know for a fact that I’m not thinking clearly right now; I’m feeling pretty strange, very light headed, dizzy, disoriented, and now nausea just kicked in.  I’m going to stick this out… but if something happens, where I absolutely can’t do it. I have a 50 mg methadone tablet here and I was thinking of cutting it into 4 pcs or 6 pcs   1 pc per day, but then I wouldn’t be opiate free. But I was comparing it to suboxone, and how several people use sub for a week, could I do that w/my tab of methadone? Of course I could, but would that be similar to the sub sliver type route that people do and are successful at?
3pm
Continued skin crawling, dizzy, light headed, nausea, disoriented and hungry. I don’t know if I can do this, not feeling confident about the situation.

[avisg]

Dont take the methadone its going to be a few more days then the worst will be over .Take is little as you can of other drugs.Try to make sure you drink water.

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Worry more about getting through this instead of whether or not you are technically opiate free.  Use the meth at about 10mg X 3 per day for 2 days. Dont you have benzo available? think about that. Read the Thomas Recipe again if you need to - its pretty well laid out for that kind of thing.  Try and get a banana or two down....maybe a calcium/magnesium supp....Can you make a smoothy type drink? Yogurt and fruits in a blender? Something like that? Walgreens has a good store brand of ensure type drink. Hot shower or bath and an electric blanket... you still have cards to play - probably another day or two and it will begin to turn around.... obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal.....

And my military favorite -   Yesterday was the only easy day - You may complain tomorrow -  Today you concentrate on living............

[penelope101]

Thank you. It’s funny, I’ve been planning this for a long time, and suddenly I forgot my plan I can’t even remember how to get to the health pages, but I know where I can get that info. I haven’t taken anything yet, just holding off until I feel I might be in danger….oxys are so strong and could be dangerous to go ct for some people. I hope I’m not trying to make excuses. That’s all, thanks for your support, it means a lot to me.

penny

[penelope101]

caught a few zzzzzzzzzzzzz's still hanging in there. dont think i can leave my house today.

[refusingbondage]

So proud of you!  Your title on this post sums it all up.. Yes, Opiate w/drawal is NOT good.. But its possible and you are doing it.  Our bodies are amazing and can handle so much.. Mentally you will have to keep reminding yourself this.. When you feel the worst and start thinking that there is no way you can do this and you just want to die.. keep strong.. the hours will pass, then the days and you WILL get through it.  Count the minutes when you have to.  Try to eat healthy - the gatorade is a great idea.. try for some banannas and fruit.  Veggies and lean protein.   And hey if the MJ helps use it.  I personally hate mj because of how it effects me, but have no real issues with it medicinally. Dont forget the hot showers!  For me, those showers were the only times I felt a little less like dying.. dont be afraid to sit in there as long as the water stays hot.  Your doing great.  Stay strong and keep posting.. Journal too.. you will come back and read through these hard times and remember how hard you fought.

[benevolentlaughter]

I still think that you and I are in this together, love.. Hang in there with all of us and continue to keep all of us posted on what's going on with you, if at all possible. It sounds as though you have a bit more courage than I do at this time. I want to just try and cut it out cold turkey, but there's that part of my head that is telling me right now to go on and take that last pill of the night. The only bad thing is, is that in an hour or a little more than an hour, my mind is going to tell me to take another one.. The pain hasn't gone away with the little pill you took a little over an hour ago, etc.

You are strong and I can tell by the words in which you type here. Like I said before, please keel all of us posted on what is going on!

[penelope101]

Thanks for your kind words. I am not strong at all, after 2 years on 120- 60 mg per day it took 6 months to get down to 40 mg per day I did that for about 6 months, Then I tapered only down to 30 mg and 25 mg for about 30 days, and It became ridiculous to me at a point, the long drawn out taper, so I picked a quit date. I hope I can make it. It’s been 24 hours since my last dose. You too can do this. Keep reading the posts here, and lots of folks will support you. Thanks again. At least I know what the people are talking about now, when they are in w/d’s I never knew it was this nasty. How long have you been on your pills?
Penny

[worried878]

u made a plan..that is so cool..sometimes feeding small doses of any narcotic can drag stuff out..only serves to tease ur brain..u have decided to let go..i feel it in ur words that u r ready to let go..no drugs need to be within reach or within get-abilty ..let go...it is peaceful...they say drowning is peaceful when u finally let go...dunno..aint gonna go there and find out..just know letting go of sumpin that only causes u pain can only be good..good luck to u..keep postingl

[road2recovery]

Congrats...I know it is rough right now, but i promise it will pass.. Try to keep busy, watch a good movie, look at old photos when you were clean (this helped me sooo much)...Drink alot of fluids..And most important , keep yourself out of your head!!  the mind is powerfull so use it as a tool, and keep telling yourself that you CAN do this..
I agree with worried also, try and do this without any other narcotic...I am rooting for you!!
r2r

[worried878]

we all r...MOVE!  it helps

[Totsie59]

Hang in there girl....it WILL get better....You will find so much help here...I am 125 days clean...I didnt think I could do it...but I did...and you can too...All the bad WDs will pass...You set a quit date...that just shows you are ready...You are stronger than you think you are...Hang in there...take care of yourself....all the above post give you so much info on what to do..and the sleep will come..Best of luck..

[jimgreg]

penny i dont know you..but if ur this far you can do it..and ive done it a few times as well its not easy but like everyone says the hot showers will help the musles and the anxiety process....if you have melontin  or vistril to help u relax...you get threw the detox period of 5 days then it will get better..its a crazy thing how our bodys react to drugs...then we let them know were geting off them.. drink as much juice as you can aday...i went cold turkey on methadone..so i have been there and doing this at home is alot better than say prison..the sleeping will be the hardest...but when i got to my 7th day things improved so well..i was online on here....i got to the point were i gave up on sleep..then i went to sleep 4 hrs it seemed like alot more..once this starts getting bad dont give into mehadoine  i wouldnt..unless your real bad and i mean bad...you must have your own blood p moniter if so keep tabs  on it..but not alot just at times when your real bad...the thing about the clondine  its suppose  to easy the withdrawal only in higher doses..i take this everday for my blod p..i guess you know that withdralws are going to make the blod p spike..meaning that this ont be bad on your heart unless ther bp is out of range..the clondine should keep it under control if not i think you know what to do..mine got 180/100  i let it go cu i knew this was part of the process..so penny no need to let the blod p get to u...unless its out of control..i dont belive it will,,i had my heart rate go up  to about 100...but thats not bad either..eat the pottaium,,and water...you know what  your going to win on this  and your doing great by taking the step..alot dont....i swear to you when this is going down hill you will feel so proud of urself!! and then get on some melontointo help with the sleep cycles..them thats when you kniow the physical part is about done..my 1st home detox was not that bad off  40 mgs ct  of methadone..everyone is alot difft..so dont ever think that your a weeny..cuz what ur doing makes you tough..belive that..alot of people just keep feeding the addicshion..i lost my brother from overdose in 96...herioun and beer  and xanax..but he was on the pills real bad too got chewed up alot..i will check back tommrow...message me if you feel like it..i dont knoiw you but your doing the right thing penny.....so again message me i will look at it when i get up..LET ME KNOW WHATS GOING ON.....GOOD FOR YOU PENNY   JAMES