opioid free for 6 weeks relapsed for 20 days. starting over

I was taking suboxene for 2 years.  I weened down to 2 mg and jumped off on 8/31/2008.  I had w/ds for 2 weeks and PAWs for about 1 month.  At about the month time period I started feeling better.  At about the 6 1/2 7 week mark I was feeling great untill I found some old 80 mg oxycontins (14 of them) that belonged to my grandmother who passed 1 year ago.  I started taking 25mgs then slowly uped to 40 or 50mgs over the next 20 days.  I am so disgusted with myself.   Last night I threw the renmaining pills out.  I have not had a pill for over 30 hours.  Surprisingly i do not feel so bad.  I am terrified that I will beging to fall into the depths of wd again.  Has anyone out there had a similar experience?  Should I count on the w/ds being as terrible as 9 weeks ago?  Any feedback would be great.  Thanks.

[worried878]

there is a ppssibility that u will not have severe physical wds...u were not at a super high dose when u chunked them...psychologically it is not good for most to do this...it should be minimal since u caught it quickly and nothing like the sub wd as i here those are much worse in comparison...stay strong and have u tried the thomas recipe?

[Winbear]

Thank you for your feedback.  I thought I was stronger than I was.  I must say that I am hanging my hat on the fact that I threw the remaining pills away.  I did something similar to the Thomas recipe 9 weeks ago.  Not verabtum.  But ate lots of protein, carbs, fluids vitamins and whole vegtables and exercised.  I am still doing most of the good diet and exercise so i hope that helps.  Thanks for the support.

[Winbear]

It has been 48 hours since my last oxycontin dose(40mg).  I am surprisingly still not feeling so bad.  Thank GOD I threw out the pills as my head is telling me that because I do not feel so bad I probably could have taken the rst b4 I decided to stop again.  The mind is funny.  I did sleep on and off last night.  Got about 5 hours.  slight skin crawls today and an occasional hot/cold flash but nothing terrible as compared to 9 weeks ago.

[worried878]

well glad to hear u r hanging tough...and u know the drill...u will make it as i can tell thru ur words that using is not where u want to be in ur life anymore..when we r really done then we can conquer this!  keep posting