oxy morphine dilaudid methadone withdraw

[invu4uraQT]

Most of my questions have been answered and I just wanna add my experience. This is not my first time quitting opiates.(I'm on day 5 now)

I kicked 600 m l oxy/day cold turkey 10 yrs ago. That was unbelievably painful and uncomfortable! I don't recommend stopping at that dose. 8 yrs later I started to take dilaudid for back pain (that I no longer have) then went to methadone cause it was more cost effective and kept me "feeling good" all the time. Did 6 8mg dilaudid/day for about a year then 60 -100 m l methadone for about a year and a bit and then down to 40m l/day for a week till I stopped 5 days ago. Tapering just didn't work for me. When I got to low I just cheated constantly and ended up back to my original dose.

I'm feeling the worst I have in a long time but I have decided that no matter how hard it gets ill never take an opiate again.

I have 20 m l methadone on my night stand just to prove to myself that I can do it. That I have the control. Makes me feel stronger somehow.

If you want to stop the truth is yes there are a lot of drugs,diets,other things that may help lessen the severity of your withdraw but in the end you just got to ride it through. I haven't taken anything to help.

Just keep in mind that this pain and discomfort no matter how intense, it is temporary.

You might not wanna try to go cold turkey if you are on a high dose but for those of us on lower doses just gotta suck it up and get through a few weeks of hell.

Good luck and stand strong. Everyone has the potential to do it.

[invu4uraQT]

Thx a lot everyone. For your responce to me and your responce to everyone here. I've read more then a few post before I joined.

I'm doing great. Almost a week clean!!!

ill but hopefull.

About to take 2 atavan (Had to see doc for something to help sleep) and rest. Hard to put in 8-9 hour days while feeling so rotten but I'm not giving up. Gotta family to feed, gotta push through.

Thx again. I think imma stick around here for a bit :)

[Leaveurfearsbehind]

Awesome! I felt pretty good when I tossed mine out too! Good job! Keep it going!

[invu4uraQT]

Poured it out. I am so sure of my conviction that I really don't need it here anymore. I know now that my decision is true. It has served its purpose.

Felt really empowering to do that!

[Leaveurfearsbehind]

I have back problems also. I have no cravings unless I'm having problems with my back. I have started exercising daily and started back doing stretches That I learned in therapy. This has really helped along with regular visits to the chiropractor. 30+ years of lifting at work has took it's toll on me. I thought I was the only one who would hold on to the meds while detoxing. Not the smartest thing to do but I wanted to prove to myself that I could quit while I still had some. Good luck!

[invu4uraQT]

I have started a workout to strenghen my back 3 months ago and I am in no pain whatsoever as long as I do a small work out a couple times a week. My doc says "well you won't know how much pain you are in till your off meds" but trust me. If I had pain in my back I'd b feeling it right now! And I also didn't take the pills to get "high" I got pot for that ;) you just can't compare going to work carying 80 lb around on a steep roof on oxy or without.

[weaver71]

I guess I relate to what you're saying. Having those pills made me know I was doing if for real, not out of desperation. I'm a landscape contractor and am now trying to start a new carrier. I've come to terms with the fact that I can't do the same work anymore, without something for the pain. I stopped opiates in years past and then hurt my back, then dislocated my shoulder. I seemed to have legitimate reasons to take drugs, so I have to change my life, which isn't easy in this economy. One of the things I noticed this time, I've aged more than I realized. I worked like a 25 yr old through my 30's and am 42 now with 6 months clean. I never took pills to party, only to get work done and have energy, that's why I had to get rid of them after a while. When I started to hurt, they popped in my head. During detox, I had no craving nor temptation. Even though I didn't take pills for the rush, I definitely formed a full blown addiction, not only a chemical dependency. Whatever works for you, that's what you gotta do. Do you have a plan to deal with the pain after detox?

[invu4uraQT]

I went back to them for back pain as I am a over worked roofer. If I did not take them for the pain I truly believe I would never have done it again. In that 8 yrs (after the first time I kicked)I never did any or had any intrest in doing it. Once I started taking it for pain I  eventually  was at a dose that I couldn't or wouldn't take the withdraw. Everytime I did stop, 3 days in I gave in.  And the reason I'm holding on to it is just that. Its easy to run out and detox. If I do it with it there it means more to me. I've committed to never ever allowing these drugs back in my body no matter what. Not once ever again.

Ill throw it out as soon as the physical withdraw is over. But it really is helping me feel really good at the end of each day I don't take it
Thx so much for your post. It really does help to talk to ppl in the same boat

[weaver71]

I agree that it has little to to with strength and will-power, though I had about 1,000mg of methadone and 500mg of subutex when I quit. I actually forgot they where there after a while. I put myself into recovery in every possible way I could find. AA, one on one therapy, group counseling, daily forum posts, and talking about recovery with everyone who was willing. I had no cravings or dangerous thoughts, until about 60 days clean. I started to feel a little pride, like I had achieved something. The pills reappeared in my memory and started to find ways to be "useful" to me again. I realized what was going on and had to get rid of them quickly. Staying clean has been the real work, as you know, you said you where clean before. You went back to opiates again, 8 yrs later. Keep that in mind, you knew the consequences, but ended up back here anyway. Pills humble the strong, make liars of the honest, and thieves of the generous. Just be careful, remember how they stuck up on you last time. Opiates are ever so patient in waiting for that weak moment of opportunity.

[Pat1956100]

Get rid of any meds that you have.  They will start talking to you.  The tough part is about to start and that is staying clean.  I know that if I have pills around I will take them eventually and it starts the whole cycle all over again.  

[Leaveurfearsbehind]

I realize having the meds around is not a good ideal but I did the same thing. I keep mine in my pocket for the first week then tossed them out the window on my way home from work. I had stopped taking pills and gone thru wd many times but only because I ran out and couldn't get any more. I wanted this time to be different. I wanted to quit for myself and not because I ran out. Quitting because your out doesn't take a lot of effort. We don't really even have a choice. I did cut off all my sources and ask others for help. I'm 87 days clean today and I feel really good. Good luck with your detox, wishing you the best!

[invu4uraQT]

Hello day 6. 1 hour sleep and off to work. GoNna be a tough day but 1 day closer to feeling better.

Thx. Ill look at those references today.

[CATUF]

"I have 20 m l methadone on my night stand just to prove to myself that I can do it. That I have the control. Makes me feel stronger somehow."

that's probably a dangerous idea -- dangerous on several different levels. it's dangerous to have the drug at hand.  it's dangerous for an addict to test their resolve.  it's dangerous to proceed with the notion that we have become bigger-than or stronger-than the addiction that wants to kill us.

most people who have found sustained recovery will tell you that it has little or nothing to do with strength, but very much to do with surrender.

one thing to keep in mind . . . the Beast that you're fighting now is not the same Beast that you kicked to the curb ten years ago.  it has been groing stadily stronger that entire period and rapidly stronger during this recent period of active addiction.  

it would be helpful to your recovery if you read the first four chapters of NA's Basic Text and the first five chapters of AA's Big Book.

CATUF
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