pills and loss of sex drive?

[monkey231]

for those of you how dont know me, my boyfriend and I have been taking OCs, Diloudeds, and rococets.....We're in the precess of weaning off, but I have a question unrelated to that.
        My boyfriend and I havent had sex in like, 8 months....Im a very sexual person, and he used to be too.  For the past couple weeks I have really been pushing the issue, and he finnally told me that the reason he wont is because of the pills.  He says he cant "keep it up" and cant "finish"  He said he feels stupid about this, so he doesnt like to do it b/c he doesnt want to let me down....Sorry to talk like that, but I just was wondering if this is normal for guys.  I havent lost my sex drive, if anything I think pills make me want it even more, so I dont understand why hes losing his? Is this common?  If anyone has knowlage of this, or has gone thru something similair, please let me know.

[Prince_of_Peace]

Monkey, what they all said is true. Three Years for me. OXYCONTIN REMOVES a sex drive completely!

Peace.

[Jacqui805]

I didn't know what all was "reduced" about me until weaning off the meds. coming through the worst of the w/d.  I hadn't even considered that the med. was affecting me in any way, and it was.  I CAN tell you for sure, I will try not to get graphic here, but I have been into the whole sex thing in a HUGE way since getting off the meds.  Other women here have said the same thing, so I think it's just that you're sort of "dimmed" while on the meds. and clarity (on all fronts) will emerge once you've reached a certain point off of them.  Depression ups and downs, as well as physical stuff do occur, but I'm sighing with relief that I'm through the worst of it, and am staring brightly at the light at the other end of that tunnel.

Jacqui

[opiatehead]

i am going to have to shamefully agree with bossman on this one...I too had big time issues with sex drive during my cycle with the vics or what ever opiate i was on...at first i was hiding it from my now wife...but the best thing i ever did was tell her the truth and she then understood it wasnt her at all...I can say it was very difficult for me as like bossman i never had an issue with girls and not to sound like mr ego but I was one for the bedroom but ...those damn pills can kill that for SURE after like 5-7 days cold turkey i wasnt back to myself with everything but that was one of the things that came back and made us both really think wow i need to be off this ****....but...i relapsed funny thing is now she knows ..guess why??? hahah no sex drive ..i mean i did tell her about my relapse and now if anyone has seen me one here i am on a program the suboxone thing and cool think is i have my sex drive back after 4 days on the stuff ...crazy anyway i know i am rambling on just wanted to put my opinion on this because this was one of the most MAJOR things that effected me on the pills.....

[monkey231]

Thank you for your help.....I was expecting you to tell me what to say or do to make him feel better....But you actually helped me to look at it in a different light, and I think you helped me way more than you would of had you said "tell him hes sexy" and so on.  Thanks hun!

[Bossman80]

I completely understand what you're saying, but....  (here's a little about me and please dont take this the wrong way)   I'm probably one of the most cocky people in Chicago....I own a few companies, athletic, date good looking girls, hang out with sports players,  etc.  After a year or two on that S---(let alone 4), it got to the point where I didnt give two craps about anything (including myself), I didnt care about my appearance, what I said to people, my current girlfriend(whom I did at the time and still do love)....the ONLY thing I cared for was making sure I had enough backlog of pills.  Everything else was a FAR second.  Why I said that, is I'm sure your b/f cares about you(you give me no reason not to think that), but the only possible way you're gonna get his self-esteem back is getting him off the garbage.  I'm 12 days clean and am starting to feel like myself again and people are now coming up to me telling me its good to have the old Josh back.  I wish I could tell you something to do or say to him to get him some self-esteem, but it really all lies within himself, if he gets clean you will notice a brand new guy in a good way.  The best part about it is there will be no more distance b/t you two.  One of the main reasons I quit was b/c I think it was getting to the point where my girlfriend was gonna leave b/c she felt I was uninterested in her.  Which wasnt the case, but the pills masked over my true feelings for her.  And I wasnt about to lose her...(she had no idea I was hooked on vic's).  So I said the hell with the pills, it certainly wasnt worth that anymore.  Hopefully that somewhat helps you.(sorry its late here and im probably not describing this how I wouldve a few hours ago).  If you need any advice from a guy(about your guy), I'm always here for ya.   It's probably safe to say I was exactly like he is, so I can probably relate.  I hope the best for you...really!  HANG IN THERE.

[monkey231]

I want to make him feel better about himself so he can get some of his self esteme back, I figured since you've been through it, maybe you could give me some suggestions as to what would have made you feel better?  Im not talking about getting him to have sex with him, Im just talking about what I can do to help him regain his selfesteme.

[monkey231]

Ok, Im actually relieved to hear that.  That means that its nothing more serious, I dont have to worry about his health as far as that goes, and I'll have my man back!  More motivation to kick this sh**!!!

[Bossman80]

I'm 27, 4 years ago (23), I was completely in his shoes.  He's not kidding about the lack of drive.  hang in there.

[avisg]

yes even at 24 with narcotic use ........ It effects alot of females as well:)

[monkey231]

Just wanted to tell you-  Im doing good!  We both are!  We're really making progress, and for the first time, I feel like we're both going to get through this!  I am very worried about the depression though.....I just wanted to update you, and thank you, because you always take the time to get back to me on stuff.....I know we dont know eachother or anything, so this may sound stupid, but I really feel like you care, and your support ever since the first day I was on here has been great.  Thanks!

[monkey231]

Thank you for your advice.  You seem very knowlagable.....Im so sorry to hear about your mother-in-law......and your mis-spent investment isnt going to MAYBE do some good....It IS doing good.....Thank you, you're advice was VERY helpfull.  As for my boyfriend, hes only 24 years old, Im only 21.....At our age its still common for men to lose there sex drive from the pills?  Im not complaining, I just want to make sure there is nothing wierd or abnormal about it.  I dont want to sit here thinking its because of the pills, then come to fine out later down the road its something more serious, ya know?

[PharmGirl75]

Of course, you should keep a close watch on your mood! When you artificially create happiness, calmness, energy, etc through pharms and other things, it replaces your body and mind's natural ability to cope. The next logical thing in the cycle is go through a period of time where, you just feel nothing. Blah, yuck, icky- your brain has to actually rebuild all the paths that were created around the addiction, and learn how to cope again without it. (Ahh, listen to me, addict PHD) I'm not, but I remember quite well learning all about it while we tried to get my mother in law clean. I say tried- it never worked, the depression and lack of "Feeling anything at all" sent her back down the path everytime. She's about gone now- turned into something that the doctors call a "wet brain". Just beware... we were told it could take up to a year before she was able to "feel again" w/o help. She was also told not to make "any major life decisions" at all for a full year after sobriety- because those decisions would be fogged by her new found cleanliness.
She never listened to what my 14,000 paid for her to learn, and has lost everything short of her life- which is coming soon I sadly fear. Maybe my mis-spent "investment" can do some good here. :)
Stick with it- you will make it, and your man will recover. Once he's clean and sober with a clean bill of health, maybe his doctor will prescribe a little blue pill to help?

[Bossman80]

yes, that was a huuuuuge issue with myself.  It is 100% correct, it does happen.

[cathy5841]

yes monkey depression is a major issue for some.  have a plan in place to deal with if you have had issues with it before.  congrats for taking your life back.  keep us posted
cathy

[monkey231]

Is depression common when coming off of pain pills?  Me and my family have a high history of depression, very severe depression....Should I be worried about that?

[feohmoon]

Some vitamins will do some good...to help with any pain associated with withdrawals as well as to begin to repair your bodies.  Good luck...it gets easier.

[GoingToMakeIt]

One more reason to quit!
It may take a bit of time after he gets clean, but then, you get the idea.
Watch out for depression and take steps to cure it.  Depression also kills the mood.

[monkey231]

Thank you.  He will be glad to hear that.  His self esteme is really effected by this, he keeps saying that he knows when we get off the pills he'll do better.  I just hate to see him feeling so bad about himself, he cried over it tonight, and I feel horrible.

[feohmoon]

It is common - My fiance and I are on methadone...let's just say that is one of the drawbacks.  As you taper down...his sex drive will return.  For men, their testosterone is depleted with heavy narcotic use......
Don't worry...it is normal.  Stay strong...good luck tapering.