Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
pills are tearing my family apart
About This Community:

This community is a place to share information and support with others who are trying to stop using drugs, prescription drugs, alcohol, tobacco or other addictive substances. Discuss with others, the symptoms of addiction, addiction recovery, ways to quit like tapering and cold turkey, and withdrawal symptoms. If you are interested in general "chat", please visit our Addiction Social Community.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

pills are tearing my family apart

My husbands had 4 back surgeries and has been going to pain management. He has been giving me 6 norcos/10 for 7 yrs. and one morphine tab like once or twice a week! He's always so Moody and im no better. I'm always alone until my 2 beautiful girls get hone from school. I'm so messed up. I'm so depressed. Cant ever do anything unless I have one....which is pathetic. I dont wanna feel so helpless and weak anymore. But as much as my husband works we dont have any kind of money to spend on any kind of doc...and I no I need a shrink just cause  im so messed up. I pretty much hate my existence and the only thing that keeps me going r my kids!!! So is it safe and possible for me to get off vics w/out docs and what is there  that I could do to help. I'm so desperate to b done with this disease and im on my own with this. I dont have anyone to help me and im so scared that I cant do it b/c me and my husband have been addicts for 13 yrs. Please help if u have any suggestions

p
Related Discussions
19 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
hello,sorry your not feeling well..This forum is great start,,Lots info and advice here.Im on day15 off percs..it can be done..you really have to want it...Get a plan and stick to it..either taper or cold turkey..when u decide let this forum know and you WILL get the guidance you need to get your life back..good luck and try to smile....
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
How many vicodin were you taking a day, and how many consecutive days have you had in the past without them?
Blank
1767882_tn?1331412769
Welcome!  You've come to the right place. You will find a huge amount of support here from people who have been in your shoes, like me. I'm 60-somehting days clean from a 80mg a day hydro/oxy habit. YES, you can do this by yourself. YES, you will feel like you have the flu for a few days.
YES, there are some things you can do to minimize the withdrawals. NO, there is absolutely nothing to fear!  So many of us have done it. Don't be afraid...the fear is way worse than the detox! Go to the bottom of this page and get the Thomas recipe stuff, minus the Valium, unless you can sleep for 3 straight days. Get the liquid Immodium AD. It's great. HYDRATE. get some mild exercise, even if you feel like death. You can do this. Stick around, and when you decide to jump in, we'll be here to support you every step of the way. take care and keep posting.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I read your post and first want to welcome you to the forum. you'll meet alot of people who are going thru the same thing. we all support one another. and don't judge.

As far as your emotional state its more common than you think. your not alone. There's so many of us addicted to pills in America. and so many of us trying to get off these awful things.
I am an addict and so is my husband. we both are clean now. just like you started out taking his then when i got hurt I got my own supply. Things got really crazy after that.

It takes alot of courage to come forward and admitt you need help. and your smart to recognize your problem.

Opiates change our moods. they are mind altering drugs. and everyone reacts differently to them.

Question?? did you or do you suffer depression? at first the pills mask depression. but it can manifest fast. depression. do you get more emotional on the pills or off? or is there no difference?
Getting off the meds is not easy. but is doable ...get ready for detox and withdrawls . that will last about a week. and then most of us get emotional and or depressed for awhile.

Have you ever went thru withdraws or detox before??

Have you had a problem with depression in the past??

Addiction is a medical disease that can be managed with hard work. and willpower.

Do you have any pain issues of your own?

when you get ready to start your detox process get everything in rhe Thomas recipe. and hunker down for a week.

Also post post post. your gonna need alt of support while doing this.

How are you gonna handle your husbands use while you come clean??

All of this needs to be addressed. ok? im here if you want to talk or ask questions.....your new friend bama . i am an addict that chooses not to use and get high today. i promise no more
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Yes, you definitely have a lot to think about, especially you quitting while your husband still takes them.  I went through that, and it's hard if not impossible to have it in the house.  It would take a very strong resolve to stop with it right there in front of you every day.  Or it would for me.  

You may have some issues that need to be worked out with a doctor, but since you can't, we need to work on helping you quit if that is truly what you want??
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hey....its amazing cuz I ask all those quest. All day, everyday. I do no all always want to judt feel numb. Me and my hudband thats all we do is fight and its all thx to those pills. And when I was 15 I was diagnosed w/depression and saw a  shrink. But was sober had never tried anything. Then started smoking and thats when it went bad,to worse!!! Im 31 now and before any kind of pill it was meth and then got pregnant, got off of meth got really infected from c- section staples and I think thats when it really started w/pills. My first girl was born n 2001 and n 2004 I tried to get off and did but only cuz I left my husband to do it. Was off for 4 or 5 mo.  And came back and then haven't gone a day w/out. I will say this though. I would sometimes take up to 15 on a bad day. But this past month
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Sorry im doing this on my phn. And hit wrong key. But this past mo. I havent done that one day. Its just been 6 or seven.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
And thats awsome ur clean. U have to have alot of courage and I no that. But I wanted to say congrats on that!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
You can get clean too!! when i first detoxed my husband still took his pills. it drove me nuts. he's still on pills. but it was my deep personal choice to stop. i was done. i hated who i had became on pills. i was snorting lots and lots of roxies. oh when i think of all the money i spent. what worries me is your addictive personality. have you ever addressed that thru meetings or counseling??

Do you get a script of your own of pain pills??

If you quit meth im positive you can quit this. keep talking to us
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Thank u everyone that got back to . And im so happy everyone is staying strong. And it does feel really good to talk. Thx

Pj
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Yes I quit that cuz I got pregnant...and the last time I quit I had a freind I moved n with. And yes I got counseling when I was about 15 but moved out of my house and honestly Ive had docs tell me I need 3 diff. Surgeries for diff things....so im n pain alot not just emotionally but physically also. But I dont get my own
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hi pj. I'm glad you found us. Just wanted to welcome you and encourage you to post and vent and ask tons of questions. There are so many great people here and they have and continue to help me. I quit taking Lortab 10's, five a day, cold turkey back in November. I do have chronic pain but it scared me how much it was starting to take for me to find relief. You can do this and listen to bama, she knows what she's talking about :) She helped me a lot when I first found this site. Ugh, I was on day 4 and trying to work and was really struggling. I still struggle but I am taking it day by day.

Hugs,

Minn
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hey...Minn. Thx   thats awsome u quit. I cant say the same though. Sadly its only been since  12:oo so six hours but I have found everytime I think of a pill....I get on here and just read. So  yeah day by day, min by min...im still tryin to stay positive but ive been a stay at home mom for 1o yrs. So its really hard cuz I no I can get one if I want it....my husband is n too much pain to quit...but Im fed up, pissed at myself cuz I just keep saying I can do it for my kids! U would think that would be enough incentive to make u wanna quit but alot of it is I dont no that I can do this w/my husband....he alone is y I always wanna feel numb. I feel like im rambling. Sorry. I guess whay im trying to say without sounding like a total b.....is my huband is very controlling. And I dont no if its n my head...but when I say to him im done w/the pills....he says that I cant do it....and ive been w/him for 15 yrs....and I no if I come clean I'll just wanna get away from him....gosh. that pretty much just sounded like he doesnt love me..really. Or wouldn't he want me to get off??? I guess im hoping that if I show him that im really trying he'll c and may help him!!!!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
When i wanted to stop. my husband didn't. but i did. i just read you want to stop for your kids. sorry hun wrong answer. you've got to stop for yourself. kids are bonus points. does that make sense?? i understand pain. oh boy oh boy do i. i have knee problems that give me back issues.

Don't let your husband bring you down. your your own person. period. i let my husbands bad habit become my bad habit. do i blame him?? i diid in the beginning. did i say i need meds to walk. you bet ya. but when i ran thru a script of 60 60mgs of oxys in less than 10 days. i blamed myself. i knew i couldn't do it anymore. i had doctors trying to convince me id be forever on narcotics for pain management...but i set a challenge for myself. do you like challenges??

i challenged myself to 90 days pill free. and i did it. had another surg and off to the races again with my pills. then i said...i did it before i can do it again.

Pills will always be around. always. but addiction slowly kills us in more ways than one.

You sound just like me in the beginning. overwhelmed. ashamed. all things yucky ...i even lost my car because of pills. i got it back. bit what a mess.

If you want off....your gonna have to put yourself first. get healthy. that's what i am now doing. getting healthy again. don't worry about your husband. he's in lala land. pills warp our minds. focus on what you want to do. pick a day to stop. get ready to say no more. and follow thru. even if you only make it 3 days and relapse. get back on the wagon. Do this one thing for yourself......rediscover who you are. be the responsible one. do it for you....ok
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
oh.....yeah...I dont no if this would,help me or hurt me but I do have a substitute for Prozac...but its like 4o mg...and I tried it once when my husband got it with his whole other pharmacy!!!  But it made me feel weird and im thinking that it could have been b/c its too strong...I dont no!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Maybe your husband is projecting. He can't or doesn't want to stop so he thinks it is impossible for you or anyone. I do believe the meds mask a lot of things. My work situation has stunk for a while now, but the pills numbed it. Now I feel and notice lots of things I didn't before.

Don't worry about rambling and venting. That's why we're here. I believe you want to do this for yourself. Yes, it is scary. Funny how we fear the unknown or what we think is reality. It will not be easy. Not going to insult your intelligence because we know if it were easy there would be no addiction. Yes, you will regain clarity and see things differently.

Please keep posting and talking to us.

Hugs, blessings, and peace,

Minn
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
OMG.....THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!   I can't do this...I have been waking up and everyday the first thing I always do is take 2 pills....and it made me feel so guilty when I took a half of one....ive been up sinc 4 n the morning....I cant sleep.....and I cant just lock myself n my room!!!!  im the one who does everything around here!  My kids r so used to me doing everything. My husband does nothing but what he wants....already my house is a wreck....my husband will sleep till 12 probably....and I cant just let my kids fin for themselves!!!  And thats the hardest part, is trying to quit, and the world just doesnt stop for u....how have u guys been able to do this????  I dont,think I can!!! I told  him NOT to leave any for me and what do u no....I wake up and there's my,worst enemy just sitting on my dresser saying,eat me, I've been doing the same thing for 7 yrs...how can I not just keep doing the same thing when thats all I no???  UHHH.....im so mad I could scream!!!!   HELP

PJ
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hey hon...im here for you. i can totally relate. my husband left meds for me every morning too. every morning for eight years i took pills. im gonna share my story.

in 04 j. was hit head on. he had over 23 broken bones. he liked to died from that accident. and i wasn't prepared for that amount of trama . when he was in the hospital hooked up to every monitor imaginable. he saved me two roxies. i never took pills recreationally before. i did take them in the past for surg. but always stopped after three to four days. always had leftovers. but he told me to take those roxies to calm down. i didn't know what a roxie was. but i took it. it was the best buzz in the world. everything was easier. i was lighter. less stressed.....he came home with them. and shared with me. at first i could take them or leave em.....that went on for three years. a dabble here a dabble there.....then i fell off a ladder. 10-12 feet up. extension ladder. the laches weren't in. so down i went. and i broke my wrist and messed up my knees. and then i got my own meds. I developed addiction to loratabs. hydro. i would take two or three at a time. had surgery after surgery. first on my writs. both then knee...i would get a script all the time. one doctor was prescribing me 60 a week. now husband and i were sharing. I was up to ten a day....i stayed that way for five years. and when i had surgeries on my knees...id get percs .....after the third knee surg. i was sent to pain management. and the doc gave me a choice of meds...morphine. patches. methadone or oxys. i choose oxys. i started on the twenties. and a good (not) friend showed me how to snort. now i was in a bad big addiction. running out early. and low and behold started buying off streets. 15 bucks a pop . and husband was sharing and scoring off the streets. we had a huge problem. i had a knee replacement may. moved from 20s  to 40s. and 15s. and still scoring and snorting. husband gets 120 tabs and morphine 30s. so we were on strong meds.
I functioned for about eight years. never missed work. but my money was dwindling. fast. pawing things. borrowing money. and i make good money. very good. its hard to support a 600 dollar a week habit when ya run out.
Things were catching up to me. i found this place in November. if i ran out i was so sick i couldn't work. or move. i was in a very very dark place. but when i got honest with everyone here. i eventually flushed 56 40s and 56 15s....and detoxed. i was clean for 90 days. then another surg. feb13. left knee now. and was rxesd oxys 60mgs this time. even though i wAs clean for ninety days. i went thru a months worth in less than ten days. yes i shared with hubby .....

He gave in and went back to his pain management doctor. i don't know if it was my relapse. or if he's honestly hurting. i can see pain on his face. it doesn't really bother me most days. except today. im itchy for a buzz. but that's another story.
I lost my new car Feb 7. repoed....but we got it back. hard lesson to learn.
I want you to see where this can go. how far you can loose yourself.
Yes its hard. hardest thing I've ever done. i even went to rehab. both of us. Please please stop now. you can get your life back. its hard to do this while your husband is using but it can be done. i will support you help you and answer any questions you have. i am very proactive in my recovery. i attend meetings both na and allonon .....im here for you.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Thx....  Im sorry ur hurting.  I swear the more I hear ur story, the more it sounds like mineS pathetic....

My hubs was n a bad motorcycle accident and the only reason he lived cuz he was drunk...he wrecked going 9o miles an hour, racing a friend...and I was 8 mo. Preggers....he couldnt walk for 6 mo....

and we also spend a shitload of money buying off streets cuz I was always taking , or what he calld stealin....so he hides or locks them up!! And I would tear this house apart looking for them!!!

And thats another reason I want to quit. We cant afford buyin off streets and he doesnt trust me and I hate thats whats become of us.

So.....u can do it. I no u can. U have a stong wilk power. I no we havent been talkin long enough for me to no u...but I can tell ur done w/ this ****!!!  I cant wait to b where u are n ur recovery.

Thx again for talkin w/me :)

Pj
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Addiction: Substance Abuse Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
233488_tn?1310696703
Blank
New Cannabis Article from NORTH Mag...
Jul 20 by John C Hagan III, MD, FACS, FAAOBlank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
3 Reasons Why You are Still Binge E...
Jul 14 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eating: What Your Closet ...
Jul 09 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top Addiction Answerers
352798_tn?1399301754
Blank
GoingToMakeIt
Near Seattle, WA
3197167_tn?1348972206
Blank
clean_in_ks
KS
3092482_tn?1383176848
Blank
weaver71
CA
4113881_tn?1401895587
Blank
ActingBrandNew
Torrance, CA
Avatar_m_tn
Blank
gnarly_1
phoenix, AZ
6942344_tn?1405732905
Blank
Amandag78
Perth, Australia